The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Whether you’re dating, engaged, or have been married longer than you were ever single, every couple will benefit when they put time, energy, and love into their relationship. That’s why we have scoured the internet looking for the best blogs on marriage and relationships to help you have the best love life possible.
We have picks from young couples, marriages with a Christian background, sexy advice blogs, licensed marriage therapists and more. No matter what you’re looking for, we’ve found it all!
Without further ado, here are 20 of the best blogs about marriage and relationships that are sure to keep your love life happy, healthy, and right on track.
This website and blog focus on date night ideas, features freebies and printable activities for couples to share, hosts a marriage seminar, and helps couples’ bond closer together. There are so many benefits to having a regular date night with your spouse, and the dating divas are “saving marriages, one date at a time.”
Could the title be any clearer? This website focuses on all things marriage and relationships. Couples will find a myriad of helpful articles on dating, marriage, relationship troubles, couple entrepreneurship, and parenting to help them live their best life possible.
It’s no secret that marriage isn’t always easy! Stay Married is a relationship-strengthening blog that contains resources for couples who want to stay married for the long haul. This blog has both helpful marriage articles and a relationship podcast.
Relationship researchers may already be familiar with Dr. Gottman’s method of strengthening marriage through therapy based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. This researched-based blog talks about everything from renewing your vows to taking control of jealousy. This blog is definitely worth the read.
This blog is the largest independent African American website about marriage and parenting available online. Run by Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, the two share the struggles and joys of maintaining a healthy marriage while parenting.
Infidelity, whether emotional or physical, is a huge part of why relationships fail. With the tagline “Follow our journey as we save our marriage after an emotional affair”, this is one marriage that doesn’t shy away from real problems in marriage.
Lovepanky boasts themselves as “Your guide to better love and relationships” and focuses on articles about sex, marriage, engagement, and keeping that spark alive.
From dealing with a partner who has a low sex drive to summer date night ideas, this advice website doesn’t shy away from married couples most asked questions!
A prioritized marriage reminds couples why it’s important to make their marriage their number one in life. This website has great articles that can bring couples closer together, such as couples bucket lists, marriage advice for newlyweds and more.
First inspired by her sadness at seeing all the unhappy marriages around her, Celeste launched a blog called “A Thing Called Love” which has now turned into a Marriage Laboratory. This is a fun website that boasts itself as being “Love experiments for busy couples” and caters to the working couple looking to spend a little more quality time together.
Married and Young is a blog that speaks from the perspective of married Christian couple Jamal and Natasha Miller. They share advice with couples and singles about marriage, dating, and getting engaged.
This website speaks to wives from the perspective of a newlywed and offers advice on sex, romance, pregnancy, couple’s travel and more.
Do you ever feel like you and your spouse simply cannot pay attention to each other? If so, this blog is for you. Melissa Orlov and Dr. Ned Hallowell share advice with couples about how to remain happy when one partner in the marriage has ADHD.
This blog began when its writer, Liz, got engaged to her now-husband. This blog is still going strong and details the everyday life of a working mother and parent.
This blog follows the realistic life of married wife Katie and Chris. They discuss everything from life and love, to what couples need to do when they stop actively listening to one another.
Could any list be complete without mentioning the fabulous Cosmopolitan magazine? This online mag is a one-stop shop for all thing’s marriage and relationships. From dating disaster stories, wedding planning, marital bliss, and an array of titillating and helpful sex advice, Cosmo has it all.
This online blog covers all things “Sex and Marriage by God’s Design”. Base on their tagline, this blog focuses on how to make Christian marriages thrive and explains the benefits that couples worship can have on a marriage.
Marriage 365 is a blog that covers serious topics about marriage. From learning how to deal with a self-centered spouse to providing practical tools and resources to create a connection with a partner, this website is truly devoted to helping couples.
From conflict resolution to intimacy, preparing for marriage to keeping the romance alive, To Love, Honor, & Vacuum is a blog dedicated to all things marriage. This website also offers couple’s fun online courses about how to deepen emotional intimacy and how to boost your libido for a healthier marriage.
This website is run by Christian couple Justine and Trisha Davis and helps couples to recognize warning signs to look out for in marriage. This couple stresses on the need for honesty and transparency in marriage and have even written a book devoted to helping couples worldwide.
Are there any couples out there who couldn’t benefit from a little refining? Couples can benefit tremendously from reading the advice found at any one of these fantastic marriage and relationship blogs.
Close physical contact or simple word people call it cuddle. Cuddle is an intimate method where couples put both of their arms around their partner and hold them in a very loving way. Usually cuddle is being done in bed or on the couch while watching Netflix or movies (a.k.a. Netflix and chill).
Most people confuse it with hugging, from my experience hugging is more towards for friends and relatives even though it gives the same benefit as cuddle. However, cuddling is more intimate than just a hug and often can lead to sex.
Cuddle is one of the most effective ways to shows affection and to get close with your partner. Cuddle also an alternative way for deeply intimate things to do besides sex. It sounds a bit tedious but just snuggled on the bed or on the couch and share some stories to light up the mood. It’s simple and more intimate than you could ever think.
To those couples who’s strayed away from their intimacy and need a sprinkle of magic, then cuddle is the simplest ways to increase intimacy.
Couple nowadays having a hard time managing their time for themselves and career become one of the major problems in relationships. Especially in the current fast-paced and ever-changing world. When it comes to working it’s so stressful even when you came home and your job becomes your number one priority. This can take a negative toll on your relationship.
Instead of initiate your partner wanting to have sex, cuddle is one of the ways that can break you away from this stressful life. Cuddle also can deepen your relationships by sharing each other days and what has been stressing them in their daily life. This event can turn into a more understanding relationship and a long-lasting relationship.
The release of oxytocin (love hormone) not only can increase your intimacy it also can strengthen your trust and relationships. Other than that, this love hormone can reduce stress and anxiety, meaning that it can increases your mental well-being as well. Oxytocin also gives a good vibe for your relationships by stimulates your thinking into a more positive way.
Based on Women Heath, while we curled up in our partner arms, it releases some goods hormone such as dopamine and serotine which it will help to boost up your mood and makes you feel better.
Cuddle can also lead to sex because sex releases the same hormone called oxytocin. According to an Archives Sexual Behaviour, couples who cuddled after sex reported having higher sexual satisfaction and higher relationship satisfaction.
Cuddle can slow heart rate and lower our blood pressure by touching will trigger our nerve to stimulate it. Embrace your loved ones more often it’s good for your health.
Cuddle not only does improve the physical relationship with your partner, but it can also even boost your immune system. According to a study published by Sage Journals, over 400 healthy adults were exposed to a virus that caused the common cold and were monitored by the researchers. Those who received hugs and supports shown less severe sign of the illnesses than those who did not receive it.
In addition to that, cuddle does have an impact on ones with anxiety. According to a report done by the National Centre for Biotechnology Information, during the act of cuddling or even hand-holding does release a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone has been proven in the lab and the real world to reduce anxiety and stress.
Cuddle can be a great alternative to sex especially to those who have hypertension or high blood pressure as it can reduce blood pressure based on the study published by Biology-Psychology. The release of oxytocin can be linked to lower blood pressure in premenopausal women. Other than that, the heart rate of the participants is lower compared to those who have not been hug or cuddle in the study.
In another study conducted by the School of Medicine at the University of North Carolina, the group that does not cuddle and do not have a physical interaction have a higher heart rate and have double of the heart reading of the group that cuddle.
Cuddle can be a pain reliever based on the research conducted at the Max Planck Institute for Medical Research, have discovered a fascinating thing with the cuddle hormone can do. It can reduce the pain and act as a painkiller.
If you are still single and have no one you can cuddle with you, don’t worry, you can substitute it with a hug. The previous study shows that a hug can have the same benefits as the above mentioned about cuddle and you don’t need a significant other to hug. You can hug your parent, siblings, and friends and you can even hug strangers on the streets.
For those you have social anxiety or don’t have a close friend or don’t have a family (they are deceased or far away), you could cuddle with your pets. According to Takefumi Kikusui of Azabu University in Japan as he explained that the participants that cuddle with their pets have increased in oxytocin level.
In today face pace and ever-changing world, it’s easy to sacrifice intimacy and hard to find time to relax and recharge. Cuddling helps you do both and stay connected with your loved ones. Who doesn’t love nestling into their partner arms.
Laying down on your partner chest is one of the best moments you ever had and listening to their heartbeat is one of our favorite sounds. To those who want to spice thing up in their relationship, cuddle is a good starter for it. If cuddle can’t satisfy you there are plenty of ways here alternative ways for you to spice up your love life.
So, what are you waiting for? Hug, snuggle, kiss and stroke every chance you can get with your partner. It’s good for your body and soul.
3.3 million households in the UK consist of cohabiting couples based on the Office of National Statistics. Cohabitation is something that has been historically controversial especially because of religious reasons and societal expectations. Yet it is now one of the fastest growing household types as more couples are moving in together for different reasons like cutting costs or taking things “to the next step”. It goes without saying that moving in with a romantic partner is a big deal and should warrant consideration especially when you are not just factoring feelings into the mix.
Cohabiting Logistics
A lot of couples who decide to move in together can get swept away with the high of taking their relationship to the next level. They end up forgetting that they need to approach this with both feet firmly planted on the ground. Logistics plays a huge part when it comes to deciding where the couple is going to live. Potential living situations can get pretty complicated when each person has their own flat or home. Not everyone is willing to give up the space that they have worked to maintain themselves so opening up your space can be a daunting undertaking. Not to mention that it is something that involves a significant amount of planning.
It’s a conversation that you and your significant other will have to tackle early on. It is best to figure out who is moving in with whom or if getting specialised housing is necessary. Think about how the move will affect your commutes to work and if you need to sell or donate any possessions to make space for joint belongings. Consider what to do about re-routing mail to your new place. Talking about these points and many more will help give both of you a stronger idea of the logistics involved with moving in together. Strong communication will also lessen the likelihood of a cohabitation breakdown as found by University College London.
Legal Ramifications
It seems that two-thirds of cohabiting couples in the UK erroneously believe in the existence of common-law marriage as found through a survey by Resolution. Despite having a lengthy or fruitful cohabitation, the couple does not have the same rights as a legally married couple would have. Each person must be aware of their rights before they enter into a cohabiting situation. This is particularly significant when one moves into the home of another. Even if the one who moved in helps to pay the mortgage, they will have no legal claim to it.
It is ideal to explore the legalities of your decision before you go through with it. For example, you can see if drawing up a cohabitation agreement before moving in is an option. Having a frank discussion about your legal expectations about sharing a mortgage or buying things for the shared home is crucial. If you are going to rent a property from a private landlord, it is vital to clarify whose name will be on the lease. Try to see if it is possible to jointly sign on a lease so you both share equal responsibility and thus share equal rights to the rental.
Never forget that the contract with the landlord will have legal ramifications if either of you breaches it or terminates it offhand because of a breakup. Let’s say you spend several unmarried decades with each other and one of you passes. Unless there is a document that says you stand to inherit, you will have no legal rights to it. It would be wise to consult with a solicitor before moving in together so you’ll know what you’re entitled to.
Financial Smarts
Disagreements about money are one of the common roots of breakups in couples both married and unmarried. You can even say that things are harder for unmarried couples precisely because they are mostly unprotected by the law. When you move in with someone, you ultimately agree to shoulder your partner emotionally, psychologically, and – yes – financially. That is, of course, unless you both have a drawn up contract that protects your individual financial interests.
Money matters often involve finding out who pays for what expense in the household. There are those that take a percentile approach toward dividing the bills. There are those that consider the earning power of each person. Only then do they pick which financial responsibilities are theirs. If your partner is going to open up an account under their name, you will have no claim to that and the same applies to them when it comes to your finances. It is of fundamental importance to clarify how the couple is to approach any financial responsibilities in the future.
Seeking a financial set-up that both individuals are comfortable with is the goal of talking about money. While aiming to split everything 50/50 might seem ideal, it does not leave much leeway. It’s not until the couple moves in together that they get a firm idea of how much their lover spends on hobbies and other unnecessary expenses. It is unreasonable to ask a significant other to pay for half when consumption and personal expenses are not evenly split. A good idea is to avoid dealing in absolutes when it comes to money figures. Also, don’t forget to be flexible.
Look To Your Future
Right now it would not be surprising if the couple feels like they are for keeps. Naturally, that’s how a majority of couples who have just brought up moving in together feel. The truth of the matter is there really is no telling what sort of future they will have individually and as a couple. That is why it is critical for each to cast a safety net for their own individual interests. Talking about legalities and finances may not be the most romantic topic to discuss but it is necessary in order to lay a strong foundation for the two people in that very relationship. If these are topics that you cannot broach to your partner at this time, it is important to ask yourself if this is a decision that you are still comfortable on making.
So you’re ready to take the next step, but have no idea where to start? Proposing is a daunting task that can be very scary. What ring do I pick out? Where do I take my partner? What do I say? Those are just some of the questions that are racing through your brain now that you’ve decided to get down on one knee. Even though it seems like there is a lot to do, it will be much simpler than you think! Just let your passion and love for your special someone guide you to make the right choices.
The engagement ring is the first place to start. There are no rules for proposing. You should spend what is in your budget and whatever will make your partner happy. But what ring do you choose? The first step is metals. Take a look at the jewelry your fiance-to-be loves to wear. Is it gold or silver? This is very crucial because most people will have a preference for one or the other. They will want to wear their engagement ring every day so it’s important to pick out a metal that goes with their normal jewelry. If there is more gold tones, then get a gold band. The same thing goes for silver!
The stones are the next big part of an engagement ring. There are quite a variety to choose from and this really depends on your significant other’s personal style. Diamonds are the classic choice which can come in many colors and sizes. No matter the color or size, the 4 things you need to know about diamonds are cut, color, clarity, and carat. The cut affects the sparkle of the diamond so it’s the most important! Color only refers to white diamonds because they can range from a dull yellow to a brilliant white. A diamond’s clarity refers to the amount of tiny imperfections on its surface. This is not noticeable to the naked eye. Carat is the weight of a diamond. If a smaller diamond is cut well, then the carat will not matter as much!
Another option is unique stones like sapphires or opal. If your fiance-to-be has a unique style, then this may be a great idea! To get a feel for if they would be interested in a gemstone engagement ring or not, ask their opinion on Princess Kate’s ring or a friend’s. Your partner’s reactions to those will help you decide what to get. Many jewelers, including Blue Nile, offer an assortment of engagement rings from diamonds to gemstones, allowing you to find the ring of your fiance’s dreams.
How many failed relationships do you have behind you? Why did they fail? Could any of them be saved? Relationships break all the time. Sometimes it’s difficult to break up, and sometimes we are so sick and tired of everything that a break-up comes as a sort of relief. Still, if you are in a relationship you care about, you probably don’t want it to end. So, what can you do if you’ve hit a rough patch? Here are suggestions.
After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the excitement wears off. Your partner isn’t something new and exciting in your life, but something that’s been around for a while, and is not as thrilling anymore. Your relationship may become a source of frustration, and you may start thinking that it’s simply not worth it. Now is the time to stop and re-evaluate everything. Why do you love your partner? What are some of their great characteristics that make them an important part of your life? Do they make you a better person? Just thinking about this can be enough for you to realize that you’ve been taking them for granted, and gain a fresh perspective on your relationship.
Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. You need to be able to clearly say what you want, and what you won’t stand for. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is choosing your words and timing. If you think that your partner drinks too much, don’t say so when they’re already drunk. Wait for them to start thinking clearly once again, and speak to them calmly and rationally about the problem. Do not make the conversation about them, make it about the problem.
You and your partner need to admit that your relationship is facing a difficult period. Once you do, you can consciously make working on it a priority. You can skip your cocktail night with the girl in order to spend a bit more time with your significant other. He doesn’t have to watch the game if you need emotional support because you’re going through a rough patch at work, or having a family crisis. Both of you need to make a conscious effort to rediscover each other as your support system, romantic partner, and best friend.
Find some activities you like doing together. Are you both into golf? Head straight to Swing Eagle and get some lessons together. Always wanted to learn a new language? Find a language school and start learning French or Spanish. Find something you both enjoy, and spend some meaningful time together. It will strengthen your bond and it will prevent you from thinking that your time together is spent on just being together, without any other benefit. Don’t overdo it, though. You shouldn’t feel like your significant other is invading every single aspect of your life, which leads us to our next point.
You need to set boundaries. That means telling your partner clearly that you need some time for yourself. You probably don’t want your partner present at every girls’ or boys’ night, and you need to communicate that sentiment clearly. Maybe you just need some me-time, and it is absolutely within your rights to say so. Of course, you need to respect your partner’s boundaries as well. It’s not healthy to let your life revolve around a single person. It makes you feel dependent and weak. You simply need to make a point of having a fulfilled life on your own, and then you can commit to a healthy relationship.
To forgive is to leave all the negative emotions behind and move on. True forgiveness will let you forget the painful memories and focus on the future of your relationship. If you continue to linger on hurtful memories you will only prolong the agony. Achieving a peaceful and harmonious relationship is going to require a lot of hard work and dedication. It is a continuous process and both of you will have to show each other that you care and that you are willing to give it your all.
Talk to your friends and family. Ask them if they have ever been through a similar situation. Even though what you are going through might be different, you will still learn a lot from their experience. Every story might give you a different perspective on what ails you and possibly an unique way of saving your relationship. You can also be encouraged by stories of others, once you realize that people whose relationships were in a much worse spot are still living happily together, you might feel that your problems are not as bad as you have initially thought.
Sex is a very important aspect of a relationship. It is also usually the first thing to disappear if there is something wrong. It brings you and your partner closer, and it makes your bond stronger. Therefore, you need to keep your sex life alive, even when it’s inconvenient. If you have children, let them spend a weekend at their grandparents’ house, so you and your partner can spend some alone time. Find a way to make things work.
Be open about your emotions. Don’t close yourself off because this will only make your partner feel more insecure. Openly tell them you love them. This will help you reestablish the trust you lost. Once you become more open about your emotions and your commitment, you`ll come to a point where all the burden you have been carrying is just going to disappear. You will feel more relaxed and more willing to invest even more in your relationship. Also, don`t hesitate to show them love by buying an awesome and unique gift.
Like all things in life, relationships require some work. Some challenges will be more difficult than others and sometimes you will fail to do your part. Never forget that everything is not always perfect, but if you try, you can definitely save your relationship.
Office romance is not the taboo it used to be. We are spending more and more time at work, so it’s only natural to start developing feelings for some of your co-workers. Still, in most cases, an office romance is not really such a great idea. Sure, there are some great upsides to it, but there are also many dangerous downsides. Let’s take a look at all the aspects of an office romance – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Obviously, there are some genuinely good things about an office romance, and they’re the ones we’re going to talk about first.
Most of us spend the biggest amount of our time at work, surrounded by our colleagues. When you see someone all the time and you spend a lot of time together, starting an office romance may be very tempting. This is especially true if you know them well and you have plenty of things in common. Dating a co-worker makes planning easier, as you probably won’t have to go out of your way to adapt your schedules to accommodate the needs of your new relationship. And well, when you’re meeting for drinks after work, you don’t have to go through the trouble of setting a time and place.
Who better to understand your job-related frustrations and worries than your colleague? If you’re dating a person who works with you, they have first-hand knowledge of the situation in the workplace. They know if your boss is unfair, or if your clients were especially difficult that day. This makes it easier to sympathize with you, which makes for a better relationship.
Many people feel that dating can sometimes be dangerous. If you go out with a person you’ve just met, you’re risking all kinds of things. You don’t know their character; they can be violent or have a problem with sudden mood swings. They can be criminals or other shady characters, or they can simply be weirdoes. Because of all of this, the majority of people find it safer to date someone they already know – for example, a person with whom they spend 40 hours a week.
Unfortunately, there are many downsides as well.
If you get into a relationship with a colleague, sooner or later people will notice, and you’ll become the subject of gossip. It’s unavoidable. Even though many people enjoy gossip, and for those who don’t, there are ways to deal with it, nobody really likes being put in the spotlight in such a way. Furthermore, a relationship can easily be jeopardized in its early stages if too many people start meddling.
Even if you don’t mean to work less, chances are that you will. And the fact is that your co-workers will notice as well. If you stop to chat on your way to the bathroom or if your lunch breaks start lasting 10 minutes longer than before, other people at work will think that you’re slacking off. Of course, you may continue to do your job with the same or even increased efficiency – if you’re seen changing your habits to accommodate your relationship, you’ll provoke negative attitudes in your co-workers.
Finally, if it doesn’t work out, your ex is still your colleague, and you have to see them every day. It can cause a very difficult situation at work, especially if one of you didn’t want the relationship to end. Imagine spending 40 hours a week working with a person who broke your heart. Not nice, right? Even worse, if the tension between the two of you is too high, it can even cause problems for other people, and one or both of you can lose your job.
In the very worst of cases, there can be some downright nasty consequences of an office romance.
So, it didn’t work out, you broke up, and you thought that that was it. And then you get a call from the HR, and you hear that your ex claims that you harassed him or her before or after the breakup. This happens more often if you are in a superior position in the company compared to your ex. Now this is a tricky business and you should be aware that your job is on the line, so you should seek professional help. Find a good law office, such as Stevenson Business Lawyers, and make sure your rights (and your job) are protected
If one of you is the other’s boss, your relationship has just become more complicated. If you are in a lower position, be ready to face the distrust of your co-workers. From the moment they find out about your relationship, they’ll assume that any recognition you get at work is because of that relationship, even if it’s well-deserved. If you are in a higher position, you may start to question your partner, because it may cross your mind that they are simply taking advantage of you. Furthermore, there are usually rules in place for such cases, so tread lightly and make sure you understand the consequences of your relationship.
When you work with a person, how much do you really know about their personal life? Imagine if your new boyfriend or girlfriend is actually in a committed relationship that you know nothing about. Now imagine their partner storming into office and start calling you names and stirring drama. It’s embarrassing, it can cause your co-workers to lose respect for you, and it can even cost you your job. Or what happens if you find out that your new partner has been sleeping around with several colleagues? There are many disaster scenarios, but they all end in tension in the best case or losing your job in the worst.
Even though an office romance has some benefits, usually it’s a bad idea. Of course, if your co-worker if your soul-mate, you should go for it. However, if they’re not, it’s simply not worth the risk.
“It’s easier to fall in love than to stay in love” – we couldn’t agree more.
Whether we admit it or not, we dwell in deeply romantic culture with big, and often unrealistic expectations of how love should be. When things get rough, people immediately give up, abandon and find comfort in new ones, instead of fixing what’s broken. That’s why we admire rare couples who, through the years, have kept their love for each other alive.
It’s not that they have a perfect connection since no relationship is flawless – every couple has issues and bad times. Every couple gets tired and bored of each other at some point. Every couple discovers each other true colors, including the quirks, gross habits, and shortcomings.
It’s just that some couples are wise and emotionally capable enough to build a solid foundation, deal with these obstacles, try to work things out, and focus on the things that truly matters, making their relationship stand the test of time and hardships.
Here are 6 of the biggest obstacles couples in long-term relationships face, and what strong couples do to deal with them and create a love that lasts a lifetime.
Feeling a little blue? May be a little lonely and single? Perhaps your heart skipped a beat as you saw that woman or guy saunter past you and now you are starting to wonder if love at first sight really does exist. Most optimists believe in love at first sight, serendipity, fate and all of the things that make our hearts go boom! However, there are those who will argue that there is nothing more to bumping into the love of your life other than being at the right place at the right time. No person can tell you what they think will happen to you, but they can only tell you about what has happened to them and what the meaning of love is.Continue reading
The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics show that over 300,000 marriages take place each year in England and Wales. With divorce rates at just 8.9 per 1000 married couples, more of these partnerships are staying together. That is not to say that marriage has gotten any easier, however. Successfully sharing your life with a long term partner requires flexibility. Inevitably, life brings change. The ability to adapt and take on new roles within the relationship can make all the difference in being able to successfully maintain it, forever.
Sharing Finances
For many, marriage is the first time to experience shared finances. Especially as the average age of people marrying is on the rise, these working adults have already learned the basics of personal financial responsibility. Car payments, bank accounts, rent, savings and debt are nothing new. However, having joint bank accounts, entering into debt together, and managing a household budget can be the first stressor in a marriage.
Although there are many ways to manage your finances as a couple, it is not unusual for one person in the partnership to take on the task of budgeting, managing the accounts, and paying the bills. Open communication about money, as in all things, is necessary for the health of the relationship. Without it, one person may start feeling uncomfortable with the arrangement, especially if there is an imbalance in the income being brought into the household.
It is not as easy as it may seem to think in terms of “our” money rather than “yours” and “mine.” Consider having both joint and personal accounts to avoid this source of conflict. Joint accounts can be used to cover household expenses like housing, utilities, and groceries while personal accounts cover things like clothes, nights out with friends, and trips to the salon or barber.
Becoming Parents
When a couple decides to start a family it marks a massive transition for the relationship. The new and ever changing responsibilities of caring for a child are immense and hugely time consuming. As each person takes on the role of parent, their role in the relationship also changes.
Married couples with children find it difficult to devote time to nurturing their relationship. The Economic and Social Research Council conducted a mixed method psychosocial study on enduring love. They found that parents engage in less relationship maintenance than their childless counterparts. The time spent doing parenting related tasks and activities leaves little time for other things. When children are very young, a parent’s focus and energy is overwhelmingly spent on the child. Parents are left feeling tired and drained with nothing left to give to their spouse.
Couples will have a greater chance of long term success if they commit to spending regular time with one another as a couple, not as parents. A set date night with the help of a family member or childminder can do wonders for keeping a couple connected. Little things can be done on a daily basis to show care and thought for your partner. Making their tea in the morning or sending a sweet text in the middle of a work day is a small gesture that can have a big long term impact.
Illness and Caretaking
As time moves on one or both of the people in a marriage may find themselves in the role of caretaker. This can come about in different ways. A parent of the couple or one of the people in the couple themselves becomes chronically ill and requires everyday care. Whether caring for a sick parent or spouse, this change is an emotional and taxing phase for all involved.
Caregiving takes a big emotional toll on a person. The caretaker has to come to terms with the fact that someone they love dearly is sick. Fear, uncertainty, and sadness can become all consuming. Boredom, frustration, and hopelessness are not at all uncommon. Seeking out help and support is crucial during this time. Having someone to talk openly and honestly with, whether a friend, family member, or professional, is critical to emotional well being.
Practically speaking, a caretaker should not attempt to go it alone. Outside help, even if for only a few hours a week, can give the caretaker a regular necessary reprieve. For those in need, social assistance is available from the NHS by requesting a needs assessment. For short periods of time, for running errands or attending personal appointments, the ill loved one can be left alone. Providing the loved one with communication tools that can help the carer and cared for feel more secure in leaving for these short excursions.
Empty Nest or Retirement
When couples move from being full time workers, parents, or both to being empty nesters or retirees, life as a couple, once again, transforms. Schedules are suddenly more open. Spaces are available that were once filled with children and work obligations. This can be disorienting for a couple. They may feel like they have nothing to talk about or focus on. It requires an adjustment and attention to reconnect or keep the relationship strong in this new dynamic.
Identifying areas of interest that are shared but have never been explored is a great place to start. This gives a freshness and spark to the relationship and can be very fulfilling and exciting. This new found time is a gift and choosing to spend some of it in a passionate pursuit with your spouse is invaluable to the health of the relationship.
Giving your spouse freedom to pursue personal interests or to simply spend time alone is an equally positive way to nurture your relationship during this stage. It is healthy and natural for both parties to a relationship to have interests that are solely their own. Supporting one another in individual pursuits and allowing each other to spend time away can actually bring them closer.
If we are lucky, life is long. Choosing to spend it in a relationship can be the most rewarding experience of one’s life. It is not without its set of challenges but each partner can adapt and support each other through all of life’s changing roles.
It’s not always blissful when you are in a relationship with someone. Couples understand this better when their initial days of charm, wooing each other gets over and they step into the drill of getting to know each other for real. And this is the phase, where most couples get disillusioned with the concept of love. Or, they are confused, considering that its love that got them into this mess. However, thanks to the new age couples therapy and marriage counseling, that couples can look at their relationship and their partners in a whole new way.
The precious lessons that couples learn
Most of the times we fall in love based on what our minds have been fed with about love. We are limited to our notions. It’s when we are in a relationship that we get to understand the true meaning of love. And sometimes, to understand this, couples need to count on marriage counseling and couples therapy. To know more on these therapies, you can browse through The Wellness Counseling Center and read more. Some of the valuable lessons learned by couples are as follows:
Each one of us has been illusioned with the idea of an ideal partner. The truth is there is no perfect partner. When we accept this truth, we set ourselves be free from all the wrong expectations. Also, marriage counseling helps us look at a partner just as an ordinary human being with their set of rights and wrong. Couples take their partners for who they are and not who they want them to be. And this brings in peace and calm to a relationship.
We stay in a world where rat race is the order of the day! Things move fast. And that has made us jump to our conclusions about relationships quickly as well. It is the reason why couples think that their relationship has no future after a few ego clashes. With advanced marriage counseling and couples therapy, partners understand that ego clashes are an external manifestation of the difference of opinions. Each one us wants to secure our point of views which results in ego clashes. When you allow a little bit of open-mindedness, we will be able to understand the other person’s perspective as well. And this will take away all the negativity that people attach with an ego clash. You can reach out to The Wellness Counseling Center to know more.
Developing empathy helps to solve many challenges we face in life. Couples therapy teaches individuals that everyone is struggling and is going through their tests and trials in life. And that makes someone bitter and someone oversensitive. When you realize this truth, you start to develop compassion for yourself and others as well. And that is the starting point of individual and relationship healing.
These are three valuable lessons that marriage counseling and couples therapy offers us. Not every tumultuous relationship is the end of the world. With therapy, there’s hope and better possibilities. And with therapy, there’s a chance of a couples becoming better individuals.