The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
In one of my previous articles here in Singles and Married, I talked about infidelity myths and mentioned some underlying issues which can be motives for cheating. I also elaborated on how disloyal partners a.k.a cheaters aren’t all the same. Some cheat physically, others cheat emotionally; some folks don’t know what they’re doing, others are just plain egocentric jerks.
Let me share you a true story: a month ago, I just discovered that my boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me with a co-worker he has known for nine months. Based on the pictures I saw and the drastic decline of affection I felt, I assume they’ve been dating for five months while we’re still in a relationship. He did apologize but he never asked for another shot, so I guess I know what he chose, or rather, WHO he chose.
Now that I have experienced an infidelity story first-hand, I can say that the article I wrote last January has more depth and meaning than ever. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of days, questioning myself what went wrong and what was wrong with me. Am I not enough? Am I unattractive? Then why did he do it? Then I recalled that even seemingly perfect relationships are susceptible to infidelity.
This time, I’ll share 10 common signs your partner might be cheating, based not only on my personal experience for the past months but also on the experiences of women who had fallen for the wrong guys in the past.
You tell him countless times to eat his veggies and head to the gym but did he ever listen? No. However, these past few weeks or months, you notice that he transformed into a fitness-conscious person, not in a “do it for your health” way but in a “do it for your 6-pack abs” way.
Another sign is when he’s getting a little extra with his clothing. He never dresses up his fancy attire when you go out on dates to impress you. Well, he used to when your love was new. But lately, you see him looking his best when he goes out with “the boys” or leaves for work. He changes his perfume. He shaves and cuts his hair too, which are unusual.
It’s unusual because you’ve known him as the person heads home the second the clock strikes 5. He’s been extra busy lately and is working overtime – even strange hours. He spends extra hours with co-workers and volunteers to travel out of town on assignments.
And he seems very enthusiastic when he does.
Work affairs are very common, considering how much time we spend working together in one room or building. He might mention a “friend” to dispel any suspicions. He might even ask you to meet her in person because they “talk about you a lot.” He assures you that this “coworker” is just a friend and he’s just helping her to get over her past relationship or to improve at work.
And he quickly turns it off when you enter the room.
We know privacy is important, but the way he hides his phone from you seems suspicious. He often sets it to airplane mode. He never even shows you pictures or videos on his own phone. Suddenly, there’s a password.
If you have to use it for whatever reason like if you have to call someone, it hard for him to lend it. He says he’s finishing a game but the truth is he’s talking to someone. He glances at his phone first before giving it to you.
You find a lipstick he claims that belongs to her sister, a lady’s undergarment which, he claims, got mixed in from his mom’s laundry, and hickeys on his neck he claims are insect bites.
There are two sides of the story. Firstly, perhaps he’s getting attention from another woman that he’s no longer interested in sleeping with you. Secondly, maybe he wants to have sex with you more since his “other woman” is giving him sex drive boost.
Simple questions like “where are you going tonight” or “what did you eat for dinner” feel more like a series of interrogations for him. He gets really mad and defensive and even accuses you of being distrustful (when in reality, you have the reason to be).
He accuses you of seeing other men when you’re at work, or of texting your ex even if you’re not doing anything. He prohibits you from partying or going home late because you might see other men. He’s projecting his own guilt onto you, and he’s assuming you’re being as disloyal as he is.
Remember when he used to say how amazing you look in your black dress? How your red lipstick suited you? Or even how pretty you are even when you’re not wearing any makeup?
Well, that was yesterday. Today’s a different story.
Even if you exerted some efforts to look your best, he shows no interest in you. He never even notices you changed your hairstyle.
Whenever you’re nice to him, he says he’s not good enough, and that you deserve someone better. He even asks you, “are you still happy with me?” These are some of the signs he’s slowly letting you go. He doesn’t even have the guts to tell straight to your face that he wants to break up with you.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting,
It’s natural for anyone who’s getting married to be optimistic – to be confident that nothing can break them apart and nothing can go wrong. The truth is, a lot of things will change after marriage, and even the happiest of all relationships can fall apart without proper preparation, attention, and investment.
This is where premarital counseling comes in. As its name suggests, it is the type of couples therapy in preparation for marriage aiming to help your relationship grow stronger. However, this couples therapy is far from the sweet, romantic talk you might think of. You seek counselors not only to talk about the things you love about each other but the unattractive things you just prefer to keep under the rug.
Ahead are five major reasons why premarital counseling is crucial before tying a knot.
When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.
Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.
Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.
Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.
Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.
Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.
Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.
Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!
Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.
Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.
Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.
Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.
Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.
Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.
Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.
Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.
Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.
Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.
Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.
Modern relationships are hard, no doubt about that! It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a widower, a young man, or a mature gentleman, being a successful woman and maintaining a fulfilling love life is anything but easy. We live in a rather fast-paced modern society where there’s no time to stop and rethink your motives, ambitions, and actions. This lack of time is exactly what makes dating extremely hard for women. If by any chance you have the same problem, make sure to stick around and read these crucial tips that will help you sustain a successful relationship in this chaotic 21st Century.
Nowadays, a lot of young women are sacrificing their love life in order to pursue illustrious and lucrative careers. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a successful business career, but completely neglecting your love life can cause serious problems in the future. If you focus solely on your job, you will lose that all-important touch you need to have in order to be good at dating. Therefore, you need to find a perfect balance between your job and romance. Don’t neglect your partner, include him in your everyday activities and allow him to share the load with you. This way, you’ll be able to improve your position at work and maintain a functional relationship.
As we’ve already said, it’s perfectly normal to want a good job and a successful career, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. However, what most people fail to realize is that jobs come and go, but true love is once in a lifetime. Sure, everyone needs money in order to survive in the modern world and the only (legal) way to obtain it is by working, but what is life if you have no love in it? Think about it.
We live in a cruel world where people love to judge other people based on their looks, clothing style, and music taste. It’s almost impossible to be yourself and be accepted at the same time. This is exactly why you must not care about other people’s opinions. You need to be brave, honest, and true! If you manage to do that, men will be all over you! A confident woman is an extremely sexy woman!
Here are two possible scenarios of what may happen if you’re being dishonest about yourself while dating someone. In the first one, your date eventually finds out that you have been pretending to be someone you’re not the entire time, gets utterly disappointed and shocked with you and most likely leaves immediately. In the second, the lies you tell about yourself stick from the beginning, not allowing you to completely relax while you’re with your partner, making your whole relationship with him a lie. Either way, it’s not good.
Anyone can be sexy! However, not every woman has the courage to express her sexuality! If you want to have a successful love life and find/keep your man, you need learn how to access your sexiness. Don’t be afraid to show off your physical attributes in a classy and sophisticated way. Feel free to tickle their imagination with sassy and provocative remarks. Don’t hide your wild sexual drive, use it to attract potential partners or keep your current one.
Also, note that there is a fine line between “knowing how to carry what you were given” and overdoing it. Instead of hiding your sexuality, like we have mentioned above, make sure that everyone (not just your potential/current partner) realizes just how hot you can be. However, don’t exaggerate and overexpress your attributes, as it may make you come off as “trying too hard” or even as slutty. Don’t close up but also don’t let everything run wild – stay in balance, just like with everything else in life.
This is one of the most important relationship tips for a modern woman. Most ladies today are not able to have an open conversation with a man. They’re trying so hard to keep up with this chaotic world of ours, that they forgot how to communicate with the opposite sex. Listening to your partner is the crucial aspect of every relationship. If you don’t listen to what he has to say, how do you expect him to listen to you? Slow down and truly listen to your man. You’ll see that being in a relationship is not that hard at all.
If we’re being completely honest here, men really do have a one-track mind. When he’s watching the game, that’s all he’s doing. When he’s listening to you, once again, that’s all he’s doing. This also means that when he’s talking to you and letting you know how he feels and what’s going through his head, you should probably listen carefully because you don’t know when it’s going to happen again and it can be hard to make him talk about that stuff if he doesn’t feel like it.
Dating is mostly about what you do and say right now, however, the end results can vary quite a lot depending on what you’re looking for. That’s why it’s important that you keep your goals in mind, no matter how serious they might be. Some people want to hook up, others are looking for serious relationships – regardless of what your target is, always keep it in your sights.
This mostly refers to marriage and kids. If you don’t want to get married in the near future and you haven’t even thought about having kids, your potential partner should know that. Furthermore, you should not be forced into changing your mind or your priorities, no matter how much you may like the person you’re dating. Love should be unconditional, which means no conditions should apply neither to you nor your partner once your relationship begins.
Although Tinder is a fast-working app and lets you meet people online for various purposes, it’s not like you can just ask for a blowjob right off the bat and expect a girl to accept your offer. Hooking up with chicks via this app isn’t as complicated as trying to use it for dating, but you’ll still need a certain dose of know-how if you want to persuade any woman to hook up with you simply based on your chat with her.
You know how they say that patience is a virtue? While it’s most certainly not a flaw, it will be very useful in case you’re talking up a girl on Tinder.
Most failures in these scenarios come from male impatience. Sure, you aren’t supposed to waste your time on a chick who obviously isn’t DTF (down to f***), but you shouldn’t rush ahead and give up or try to force a hookup if there’s real potential in a girl who really is DTF but is playing hard to get.
If a girl you’re chatting with doesn’t agree to have a one night stand with you right away, it means not only that she isn’t an easy chick, but also that she wants to make sure that she can be safe around you and have a great time if she hooks up with you.
This is why it’s important that you talk to a girl about things which aren’t related to sex. We know it sounds like a waste of time because you aren’t trying to marry this woman, but it can be really productive if you manage to assure her that you’re a really fun guy who only wants to have casual sex with her – nothing more, nothing less.
Once you’ve approached a girl on Tinder tactically and while still giving off a gentleman vibe and you’ve managed to get her to accept your hookup invite, you should get a clear sign from her that “all systems are go.”
It’s not going to happen every time, even if you’re the most persuasive man on the planet. When it does happen, however, don’t jump the gun – wait to get a green light for her, which will be obvious and without any doubt if she’s really down for it. Otherwise, you’ve got nothing to look for there, so move on to the next chick.
So, you’ve got the thumbs-up from her and you’re taking things off Tinder and into real life. This doesn’t mean that you should immediately suggest bumping uglies with her as soon as possible – instead, keep your cool and be a man about it.
If she wants to skip all pleasantries and move straight to the main course, you shouldn’t have any problems with that. But if she doesn’t says it herself, suggest that you meet for a drink first, because the most important thing is implied anyway. Why not be a gentleman while at it?
Let’s face it – hooking up is a pretty standard activity nowadays. Not only is it completely fine if you do it, but in some cases, it’s actually preferable if you just hook up with someone instead of entering a relationship with them. This is why it’s of critical importance that you’re always honest about your intentions and wishes.
Pretending like you’re looking for romance while your only goal is to have casual sex never leads to anything good. Sure, it might work as far as getting a person to sleep with you, but you can rest assured that your true goals will come to surface sooner or later – and when they do, all hell will brake loose.
Instead of that, why not just be straight up about what you want and why you’re even communicating with someone in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a hookup, so try to be honest about it when someone asks you “Why do you want to be with me?”
Like we’ve mentioned before, patience is a virtue when it comes to hookups (or anything else in life, really). This doesn’t only apply to actual communication with someone you want to hook up with, but also to looking for those who would interested in such an activity.
Thanks to the advances of modern technology, there is more than one way to find a hookup in the XXI century. Instead of just going to a popular club or bar, you can now sit down in front of your computer and type in a bunch of things in order to find the perfect person for a hookup.
Nevertheless, rejection still exists, even on the internet. You might get shut down a dozen times or more before you come across a person who’s even remotely interested in hooking up with you. This is actually pretty normal, because with online dating came a much larger pool of potential relationship and hookup partners, which is why most people won’t stop until they find exactly what they’re looking for.
It’s really important to always remember that you shouldn’t give up. Even if you get rejected 20 times, you should still keep on looking because your perfect hookup might be just around the corner.
Although a hookup isn’t exactly a real romantic relationship, that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want and get away with it. Be polite and show that you care, because it might pay off in the future.
Instead of never calling or seeing a person you’ve just hooked up with after the fact, try and send them a message a few days later to check on how they’re doing and if they want to grab some coffee with you. This will help maintain that friendliness that all hookups imply and it might just turn casual sex into real romance – you never know.
When people find out about one person’s infidelity, they usually jump to conclusions and make all kinds of assumptions as to why people are having affairs. Infidelity has also been dramatized in different forms of media like films, demonizing and name-calling the adulterer. But have you ever thought about the underlying issues that made the cheater cheat in the first place? Will a cheater forever be a cheater? And who the heck cheats more often; the men or the women?
Though infidelity in relationships is something we shouldn’t condone, there are many common yet wrong beliefs about infidelity we should also stop believing in.
You like your coffee black, strong, and sugarfree. He doesn’t like coffee at all.
You’re an articulate writer. He’s a tech-savvy introvert who’s not good with words but with codes.
You speak your mind. He’s passive-aggressive.
Opposites attract and likes repel. But does this natural principle hold true when it comes to the matters of the heart? Clinical psychologist and journalist Vinita Mehta says, “It’s complicated.”
Every couple has incompatibilities. Every couple argues about the same things, like money, sex, kids, and the lack of time. We are all wired differently. It’s about how you manage those differences. It’s about not making your incompatibilities deal breakers.
Can you believe it? In a span of a week, we’ll say adieu to 2017 and welcome 2018 with open arms. Have you prepared your annual “New Year’s Resolution” list yet?
Resolutions often get a bad rap but they work for you if you give your 100% in taking a leap and making significant changes in your life. And they say that two is better than one, so fulfilling these promises with your significant other can help you stick to your words, and hopefully strengthen your bond. Instead of “New Year, New Me,” how about “New Year, New Us”?
Have you thought about the changes you’d like to see? What are the positive differences you want to achieve as an individual and as a couple? What are the issues you have to talk about? And what are the ones you have to let go?
If you’re looking forward to another blissful year with your partner and you want to improve not just your bond but your individuality as well, here are some resolutions to list down and achieve.
They say that when you’re single, the world is your oyster, and in many ways that’s true. There are plenty of advantages to being single, but at the end of the day, we’re all longing for that one person who will be everything. We want a friend, a confidant, a lover and someone around whom we can be our most authentic self. In today’s strange dating world you could be taking all the steps that seem right to you, but still fall short. Times have definitely changed, and in order to get to ‘the one’ there seem to be a lot more obstacles than before. Still, that’s not a reason to give up.
No, this is the time when you pick yourself up, even after the worst of experiences and try something new. You know the saying – you can’t do the same thing and expect different results. These five steps are probably something you haven’t tried before, and they are bound to get your love mojo back, whether you’re single and looking for love or already dating and searching for ways to improve a relationship.
The general rule of thumb is that relationships are about compromise, and there is great truth to that. One of the biggest mistakes people make comes as a result of misinterpretation of the concept. While you should do things for the other person that aren’t exactly your cup of tea, such as for instance going hiking even though you’re not exactly outdoorsy, there is a fine line between compromise and accepting things that truly bother you. Certain types of behavior are unacceptable, they’re what we call deal-breakers, and when these arise, you need to have an open conversation with the person you’re dating and express your feelings.
If they are worthy and willing to make an effort for the sake of the relationship, they will change these habits. If not, your frustration will continue to increase. Sometimes being smart is knowing when to call it quits. For those who are single – try to see the potential in someone, and don’t discard a possible relationship as soon as you notice one flaw.
When you look back at your dating record, do you sometimes get the feeling that you’ve been dating the same guy over and over again? We all have a pattern, and when picking a certain type of person is one of yours, you need to put an end to it. This is where doing the same thing and expecting the same results resonates most true. If things aren’t working out and you keep dating, it’s because you’re constantly choosing virtually the same guy, and that guy is not the one for you. Step out of your comfort zone and realize that you deserve better.
As an experiment, just once go out with someone completely different from your usual type, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how refreshing this change could be. This next person might not be the one, even though you might be insanely attracted to them. Always be aware of that there is a battle of lust vs. love going on, and try to keep your head above the clouds and not get swept up by the first. Dip your feet in the water, date several different types, and ultimately you’ll find the one that truly fits. There are many things one should compromise on, but the choice of partner is not one of them. Always know your worth and never settle for a treatment that leaves plenty to be desired.
People are quick to notice the shortcomings of others, but quite reluctant to accept and acknowledge their own. If you’re the kind of person who always claims to be right, and whatever goes sour is someone else’s fault, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and reexamine your own actions. Taking your share of the blame, whether for a bad date or a small fight that escalated, there are always two sides of the story. When in a fight, instead of instinctively placing the blame on the other person, step out of your body and listen to the words coming out of your own mouth and pay attention to your body language. Believe us, it takes two to tango.
You should never, ever stop improving yourself and lose sight of who you are. This isn’t only relevant for your love life, although it can be a great bonus. Never stop doing the things you love, chasing your passions, taking up hobbies – in short, never stop elevating yourself, culturally, spiritually, intellectually. Being the best possible version of yourself inevitably increases your sense of self-worth, and your positive and confident attitude as well as all the wonderful quirks and interests make you incredibly attractive. People pick up on that – the right people that is, so the more complete you are as a person, the more high-quality people you will attract. It applies to co-workers, friends and potential partners.
Never enter a relationship when you’re at your loneliest. That is when we are prone to accepting whatever little attention is given to us. Loneliness often leads to desperation, and that in turn can make you fall in the arms of a completely wrong person, simply because you needed a pair of hands to hold you. These kinds of relationships inevitably make you feel stuck and you end up resenting the person, thinking they’ve tricked you into being with them. Accept the loneliness, work on yourself, and when you realize that you want someone instead of desperately needing someone, you will be able to make much better choices.
A smartphone is a powerful invention designed to keep us connected, and it’s ironic how it also becomes the culprit for keeping most people apart. But the question is, should smartphones take all the blame?