The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Telling someone you love them is a truly incredible gift, but, in the end, words are not nearly everything. True love and affection can be shown much more through little gestures than words. That said, there are plenty of ways you can tell your partner you love them without actually saying these words, but they will recognize your feelings and appreciate them for sure. If you’re looking for ideas that can help you brighten up your partner’s day and make their heart leap for joy, keep on reading.Continue reading
Do you know of a couple or several couples whose relationship seems unshakeable? The type that people say they were made for each other. They have been together for long and their love is still blazing and their relationship stable. They are still madly in love as if they met recently. Well, you may wonder what makes them remain so much in love. If you are starting a new relationship or wish to breathe a new life into your already existing dull relationship you may wonder what the secret behind those long-lasting couples is. However, you may even not have found your significant other and have no idea where to get him or her or how to go about. Do not worry; you can quickly hook up with your mate on some sites like https://www.happymatches.com and end up with a life partner or a long-term partner.Continue reading
Back in the day, there was a rather clear distinction between matchmaking platforms and social media sites. For example, if you wanted to meet people online, you had to make a profile on a dating site. Nowadays, that’s not exactly the case. Most people these days are using Facebook and Twitter as dating platforms, and up until recently, Instagram was the only app that wasn’t used for such purposes. However, after a few big changes, this app became one of the most popular dating sites out there. So, if you have Instagram and you want to use this particular app as a dating platform, here’s how it works.
A few years ago when Instagram didn’t have stories, it was rather hard for people to know who is really interested in them, who likes their photos out of courtesy, and who’s actually “stalking” them. Today, however, stories are one of the main indicators that tell users who their biggest fans are. As you probably already know, once you finish watching someone’s story, that person receives a notification that you watched their content. So, by reviewing their notifications, users can easily determine if you’re just a follower or a secret admirer. Also, you can use this method to subtly state your intentions without being intrusive or straightforward.
It’s safe to say that the advanced and improved options like “search” and “discover” are helping people to find the perfect potential partner. The intuitive search engine allows them to easily track down any person they know, both in real life and via other social media websites. Also, if users want to find someone completely new, they can search the Instagram by using specific hashtags and they will find exactly what they’re searching for. For example, if a guy is looking for redheads, he can simply insert #redhead and #redhair hashtags and the app will provide him with a number of beautiful girls and photos on his feed. As you can see, searching for a specific type is easier on Instagram than on other matchmaking platforms.
One of the options that changed the game completely is, of course, direct messaging. As you know, at first, Instagram only had “like” and “comment” options, while messages and chats were reserved for Facebook, Twitter, and specialized dating platforms. Nowadays, however, Instagram users are able to send direct messages to their followers. Naturally, this particular option allowed people to contact users they are attracted to in a private manner. In other words, they can use the previous options we mentioned in the article to track down a perfect person, follow them, and contact them via messages. These intuitive and rather convenient options are the main reason why this social media site is now one of the most popular matchmaking spots on the Internet. Therefore, even though this network was never meant to serve this purpose, it’s safe to say that Instagram is now a dating app too.
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
In one of my previous articles here in Singles and Married, I talked about infidelity myths and mentioned some underlying issues which can be motives for cheating. I also elaborated on how disloyal partners a.k.a cheaters aren’t all the same. Some cheat physically, others cheat emotionally; some folks don’t know what they’re doing, others are just plain egocentric jerks.
Let me share you a true story: a month ago, I just discovered that my boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me with a co-worker he has known for nine months. Based on the pictures I saw and the drastic decline of affection I felt, I assume they’ve been dating for five months while we’re still in a relationship. He did apologize but he never asked for another shot, so I guess I know what he chose, or rather, WHO he chose.
Now that I have experienced an infidelity story first-hand, I can say that the article I wrote last January has more depth and meaning than ever. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of days, questioning myself what went wrong and what was wrong with me. Am I not enough? Am I unattractive? Then why did he do it? Then I recalled that even seemingly perfect relationships are susceptible to infidelity.
This time, I’ll share 10 common signs your partner might be cheating, based not only on my personal experience for the past months but also on the experiences of women who had fallen for the wrong guys in the past.
You tell him countless times to eat his veggies and head to the gym but did he ever listen? No. However, these past few weeks or months, you notice that he transformed into a fitness-conscious person, not in a “do it for your health” way but in a “do it for your 6-pack abs” way.
Another sign is when he’s getting a little extra with his clothing. He never dresses up his fancy attire when you go out on dates to impress you. Well, he used to when your love was new. But lately, you see him looking his best when he goes out with “the boys” or leaves for work. He changes his perfume. He shaves and cuts his hair too, which are unusual.
It’s unusual because you’ve known him as the person heads home the second the clock strikes 5. He’s been extra busy lately and is working overtime – even strange hours. He spends extra hours with co-workers and volunteers to travel out of town on assignments.
And he seems very enthusiastic when he does.
Work affairs are very common, considering how much time we spend working together in one room or building. He might mention a “friend” to dispel any suspicions. He might even ask you to meet her in person because they “talk about you a lot.” He assures you that this “coworker” is just a friend and he’s just helping her to get over her past relationship or to improve at work.
And he quickly turns it off when you enter the room.
We know privacy is important, but the way he hides his phone from you seems suspicious. He often sets it to airplane mode. He never even shows you pictures or videos on his own phone. Suddenly, there’s a password.
If you have to use it for whatever reason like if you have to call someone, it hard for him to lend it. He says he’s finishing a game but the truth is he’s talking to someone. He glances at his phone first before giving it to you.
You find a lipstick he claims that belongs to her sister, a lady’s undergarment which, he claims, got mixed in from his mom’s laundry, and hickeys on his neck he claims are insect bites.
There are two sides of the story. Firstly, perhaps he’s getting attention from another woman that he’s no longer interested in sleeping with you. Secondly, maybe he wants to have sex with you more since his “other woman” is giving him sex drive boost.
Simple questions like “where are you going tonight” or “what did you eat for dinner” feel more like a series of interrogations for him. He gets really mad and defensive and even accuses you of being distrustful (when in reality, you have the reason to be).
He accuses you of seeing other men when you’re at work, or of texting your ex even if you’re not doing anything. He prohibits you from partying or going home late because you might see other men. He’s projecting his own guilt onto you, and he’s assuming you’re being as disloyal as he is.
Remember when he used to say how amazing you look in your black dress? How your red lipstick suited you? Or even how pretty you are even when you’re not wearing any makeup?
Well, that was yesterday. Today’s a different story.
Even if you exerted some efforts to look your best, he shows no interest in you. He never even notices you changed your hairstyle.
Whenever you’re nice to him, he says he’s not good enough, and that you deserve someone better. He even asks you, “are you still happy with me?” These are some of the signs he’s slowly letting you go. He doesn’t even have the guts to tell straight to your face that he wants to break up with you.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting,
When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.
Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.
Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.
Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.
Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.
Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.
Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.
Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!
Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.
Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.
Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.
Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.
Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.
Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.
Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.
Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.
Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.
Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.
Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.
Modern relationships are hard, no doubt about that! It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a widower, a young man, or a mature gentleman, being a successful woman and maintaining a fulfilling love life is anything but easy. We live in a rather fast-paced modern society where there’s no time to stop and rethink your motives, ambitions, and actions. This lack of time is exactly what makes dating extremely hard for women. If by any chance you have the same problem, make sure to stick around and read these crucial tips that will help you sustain a successful relationship in this chaotic 21st Century.
Nowadays, a lot of young women are sacrificing their love life in order to pursue illustrious and lucrative careers. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a successful business career, but completely neglecting your love life can cause serious problems in the future. If you focus solely on your job, you will lose that all-important touch you need to have in order to be good at dating. Therefore, you need to find a perfect balance between your job and romance. Don’t neglect your partner, include him in your everyday activities and allow him to share the load with you. This way, you’ll be able to improve your position at work and maintain a functional relationship.
As we’ve already said, it’s perfectly normal to want a good job and a successful career, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. However, what most people fail to realize is that jobs come and go, but true love is once in a lifetime. Sure, everyone needs money in order to survive in the modern world and the only (legal) way to obtain it is by working, but what is life if you have no love in it? Think about it.
We live in a cruel world where people love to judge other people based on their looks, clothing style, and music taste. It’s almost impossible to be yourself and be accepted at the same time. This is exactly why you must not care about other people’s opinions. You need to be brave, honest, and true! If you manage to do that, men will be all over you! A confident woman is an extremely sexy woman!
Here are two possible scenarios of what may happen if you’re being dishonest about yourself while dating someone. In the first one, your date eventually finds out that you have been pretending to be someone you’re not the entire time, gets utterly disappointed and shocked with you and most likely leaves immediately. In the second, the lies you tell about yourself stick from the beginning, not allowing you to completely relax while you’re with your partner, making your whole relationship with him a lie. Either way, it’s not good.
Anyone can be sexy! However, not every woman has the courage to express her sexuality! If you want to have a successful love life and find/keep your man, you need learn how to access your sexiness. Don’t be afraid to show off your physical attributes in a classy and sophisticated way. Feel free to tickle their imagination with sassy and provocative remarks. Don’t hide your wild sexual drive, use it to attract potential partners or keep your current one.
Also, note that there is a fine line between “knowing how to carry what you were given” and overdoing it. Instead of hiding your sexuality, like we have mentioned above, make sure that everyone (not just your potential/current partner) realizes just how hot you can be. However, don’t exaggerate and overexpress your attributes, as it may make you come off as “trying too hard” or even as slutty. Don’t close up but also don’t let everything run wild – stay in balance, just like with everything else in life.
This is one of the most important relationship tips for a modern woman. Most ladies today are not able to have an open conversation with a man. They’re trying so hard to keep up with this chaotic world of ours, that they forgot how to communicate with the opposite sex. Listening to your partner is the crucial aspect of every relationship. If you don’t listen to what he has to say, how do you expect him to listen to you? Slow down and truly listen to your man. You’ll see that being in a relationship is not that hard at all.
If we’re being completely honest here, men really do have a one-track mind. When he’s watching the game, that’s all he’s doing. When he’s listening to you, once again, that’s all he’s doing. This also means that when he’s talking to you and letting you know how he feels and what’s going through his head, you should probably listen carefully because you don’t know when it’s going to happen again and it can be hard to make him talk about that stuff if he doesn’t feel like it.
Dating is mostly about what you do and say right now, however, the end results can vary quite a lot depending on what you’re looking for. That’s why it’s important that you keep your goals in mind, no matter how serious they might be. Some people want to hook up, others are looking for serious relationships – regardless of what your target is, always keep it in your sights.
This mostly refers to marriage and kids. If you don’t want to get married in the near future and you haven’t even thought about having kids, your potential partner should know that. Furthermore, you should not be forced into changing your mind or your priorities, no matter how much you may like the person you’re dating. Love should be unconditional, which means no conditions should apply neither to you nor your partner once your relationship begins.
Although Tinder is a fast-working app and lets you meet people online for various purposes, it’s not like you can just ask for a blowjob right off the bat and expect a girl to accept your offer. Hooking up with chicks via this app isn’t as complicated as trying to use it for dating, but you’ll still need a certain dose of know-how if you want to persuade any woman to hook up with you simply based on your chat with her.
You know how they say that patience is a virtue? While it’s most certainly not a flaw, it will be very useful in case you’re talking up a girl on Tinder.
Most failures in these scenarios come from male impatience. Sure, you aren’t supposed to waste your time on a chick who obviously isn’t DTF (down to f***), but you shouldn’t rush ahead and give up or try to force a hookup if there’s real potential in a girl who really is DTF but is playing hard to get.
If a girl you’re chatting with doesn’t agree to have a one night stand with you right away, it means not only that she isn’t an easy chick, but also that she wants to make sure that she can be safe around you and have a great time if she hooks up with you.
This is why it’s important that you talk to a girl about things which aren’t related to sex. We know it sounds like a waste of time because you aren’t trying to marry this woman, but it can be really productive if you manage to assure her that you’re a really fun guy who only wants to have casual sex with her – nothing more, nothing less.
Once you’ve approached a girl on Tinder tactically and while still giving off a gentleman vibe and you’ve managed to get her to accept your hookup invite, you should get a clear sign from her that “all systems are go.”
It’s not going to happen every time, even if you’re the most persuasive man on the planet. When it does happen, however, don’t jump the gun – wait to get a green light for her, which will be obvious and without any doubt if she’s really down for it. Otherwise, you’ve got nothing to look for there, so move on to the next chick.
So, you’ve got the thumbs-up from her and you’re taking things off Tinder and into real life. This doesn’t mean that you should immediately suggest bumping uglies with her as soon as possible – instead, keep your cool and be a man about it.
If she wants to skip all pleasantries and move straight to the main course, you shouldn’t have any problems with that. But if she doesn’t says it herself, suggest that you meet for a drink first, because the most important thing is implied anyway. Why not be a gentleman while at it?
Let’s face it – hooking up is a pretty standard activity nowadays. Not only is it completely fine if you do it, but in some cases, it’s actually preferable if you just hook up with someone instead of entering a relationship with them. This is why it’s of critical importance that you’re always honest about your intentions and wishes.
Pretending like you’re looking for romance while your only goal is to have casual sex never leads to anything good. Sure, it might work as far as getting a person to sleep with you, but you can rest assured that your true goals will come to surface sooner or later – and when they do, all hell will brake loose.
Instead of that, why not just be straight up about what you want and why you’re even communicating with someone in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a hookup, so try to be honest about it when someone asks you “Why do you want to be with me?”
Like we’ve mentioned before, patience is a virtue when it comes to hookups (or anything else in life, really). This doesn’t only apply to actual communication with someone you want to hook up with, but also to looking for those who would interested in such an activity.
Thanks to the advances of modern technology, there is more than one way to find a hookup in the XXI century. Instead of just going to a popular club or bar, you can now sit down in front of your computer and type in a bunch of things in order to find the perfect person for a hookup.
Nevertheless, rejection still exists, even on the internet. You might get shut down a dozen times or more before you come across a person who’s even remotely interested in hooking up with you. This is actually pretty normal, because with online dating came a much larger pool of potential relationship and hookup partners, which is why most people won’t stop until they find exactly what they’re looking for.
It’s really important to always remember that you shouldn’t give up. Even if you get rejected 20 times, you should still keep on looking because your perfect hookup might be just around the corner.
Although a hookup isn’t exactly a real romantic relationship, that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want and get away with it. Be polite and show that you care, because it might pay off in the future.
Instead of never calling or seeing a person you’ve just hooked up with after the fact, try and send them a message a few days later to check on how they’re doing and if they want to grab some coffee with you. This will help maintain that friendliness that all hookups imply and it might just turn casual sex into real romance – you never know.
I never thought I would be in a position like this. Five years ago my husband of sixteen years and I mutually broke up because we decided it was no longer working which was hard to admit after all that time together. After a long stint in which I have been single and enjoying time to myself I now feel like I am ready to move on, start dating and look for love again with the right man. It was a hard decision to even decide to date again because I felt if after a sixteen year marriage it doesn’t work out then what hope do we have? But then I realised that we actually weren’t happy for almost half of those sixteen years.
I’m back trying to find new love and have had a few dilemmas along the way, including this one which I’ve decided to share with you.
I took to online dating not long ago after “peer pressure” from my friends. I write peer pressure in inverted commas since it didn’t take much persuading from my friends for me to agree that it was the best course of action. I’m now a fifty three year old woman and even though I still go out and socialise with friends quite often, it’s rare that I would come in contact with a man on a romantic level. I also feel like time is running out for me (sorry for those who are my age or older who would rightfully disagree) to find love again.
It didn’t take long after I signed up before I got talking to someone, maybe about a week. But that didn’t get anywhere. I soon learned that it takes patience with online dating, at least if you’re willing to take your time to find someone you want to have a serious future with.
Having said that, after about three weeks I got talking to someone I can only describe as a gentlemen at least by the way we conversed online. But just like London buses, another man came along typically on the same evening. I thought there could be no harm in talking to two men online. Besides, at this point it was just harmless conversation and getting to know them.
Things seemed to escalate quite fast with both of them, not on purpose but organically. They were both extremely nice but seemed to have slightly different personalities. For example they were both humorous but in opposing ways. After about two weeks of talking online as well as by text messages to both of these men they both asked to meet up within a few days of each other. When I was asked by the first gentlemen, of course I willingly agreed to meet up, not anticipating that there was a strong chance of the second gentlemen asking me sooner or later. But I live my life in the present and don’t like to think too far ahead. Perhaps this was a reason to alter that logic and way of living as of course he did ask to meet up and suddenly I saw myself in a position agreeing to meet up with two different men in the space of a few days.
The reason for the title “two and half men” was because I then began talking to yet ANOTHER man online. But there was no hint of meeting up which is why I counted that as “half”.
I now have a hard decision to make after dating both of these men and both going exceptionally well. I am no nearer to deciding which one I would like to carry on dating so do I carry on dating them both? I would like to think that at some point there would be a factor which would push me towards one and not the other but how long that takes is the concerning thing.
Like I said before, I have never been in a position like this before so it’s not something I would say I’m proud of. But perhaps I am overthinking and exaggerating the seriousness of this. Maybe I should just embrace it while I can and enjoy the ride!
So here’s my question to you. Was I right or wrong to agree to meet up with two different men? What would you have done if you were in a similar position?
The way I have been thinking about it is that I was always going to have to let at least one of these men down sooner or later. In that respect I guess it was wrong of me to supposedly lead one of them on. I hate having to let people down.
But having said that, you have to be selfish in life sometimes right? Plus it was still early days and so I had to meet up with them to get to know them better. If I had stopped talking to one of them sooner then I would have never have known what could have been. In my mind that would’ve been foolish.
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I’m going to share my story of both my best and worst date which both took place in the last few years during my ongoing search for love…again. I’m still a single widow today but am convinced I will find another man to make me happy again, especially now that I’m back on the dating scene and have experienced all kinds of strange and wonderful moments in that time.
This time last year I had the most incredible date with a hugely interesting man who I met online. What made it so unique and memorable was that I had no idea what the plan was so the spontaneity of it was something I instantly loved. He picked me up from my house on a Friday evening after work (I trusted him enough to give him my home address through conversations online and the phone, he seemed very genuine). He knocked on my front door stood there with a bunch of flowers. What a start I thought, his romantic side evident from first sight.
Us women pick up on every detail when it comes to dating. From his well polished shoes to his nicely groomed facial hair I was definitely impressed within the first 5 seconds. And at the end of the drive way was a beautiful sparkling silver Porsche. Lovely!
As we sped off in his fancy car I had mixed emotions; nervous, excited and intrigued. As much as I asked throughout the journey, he gave me no insight in to where we were heading. I went along with it willingly as I trusted him. Strange for someone I had just met but he gave off that sort of vibe.
We arrived at a beautifully looking Indian restaurant which was next to the river and he actually reserved a table overlooking the tremendous views. It was a warm, wonderful evening too which made it even better. Looking back now it was quite a gamble for him to choose an Indian restaurant as it’s a cuisine which isn’t for everyone. Thankfully for him I wasn’t in that minority. The food was delicious and so too was the bottle of red wine that we shared.
The conversation flowed throughout the entire meal which isn’t always easy but we seemed to have so much in common from enjoying golf to having the same opinions on general affairs. It was all going so smoothly it felt so natural as if we had known each other for years. Perhaps this is to be expected from a true gentlemen but he also paid the entire bill which is a big tick in the dating department for me, not because I’m materialistic or expect a man to pay for everything, but because it’s just “the thing that’s done” by a man on a first date in my eyes.
If the date had ended there I would have been more than satisfied and content but to my surprise, again, we went to a bar just around the corner which played live music. My kind of scene! They played a mixture of songs, from cheesy classics to rock and roll greats. We continued to indulge in deep conversation and drinks which made the time pass by so quickly. Too quickly for my liking in truth. I wish the night hadn’t ended.
Sometimes less is more and as basic as this date may sound it had everything a first date needed; A gentlemen, surprises, food, drinks, music and even a first kiss. Little did I know that it would also be the last kiss with this particular person. To my devastation, he decided he didn’t want to meet up again. I guess it was too good to be true.
I’ve had several bad dates in my time from back when I was a teenager all the way up to now. But there was one stand out winner of the worst date which was just a few months ago. Dating is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. It’s very much a case of trial and error unless you’re lucky enough to strike gold first time.
This particular date that I went on was a complete and utter shambles. This time we planned to meet for lunch on a Saturday afternoon in a country pub, midway between our two houses. We said we would meet at 1pm and being the punctual woman I stuck to my word. He, however, certainly did not. He kept me waiting there for about 45 minutes with no communication during that time. The only reason I was still there was because I thought I’d make the most of it and stick around for a drink on my own having made the effort to drive there Nevertheless, being the forgiving woman I am I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and move on with the date.
With his apology accepted we got talking briefly but he seemed more interested in the food menu since he had his head buried in it. Now I’m a huge fan of food but I’m also a fan of manners and completely ignoring someone while they’re speaking to you is as rude as it gets in my opinion. Even more so if it’s the first 5 minutes of a first date!
It turned out that he was just generally a rude person. He was rude to the waiter on several occasions, demanding cutlery and then moaning about the food which was completely out of the waiters hands. Complaining to the waiter that there was too much fat on his gammon seemed pointless and ridiculous to me.
When we finally got talking it was all about him. I hardly managed to get a word in. It got to the point where I genuinely had no interest in being there and all I could think about was how much I wanted to get up and leave. To this day all I think to myself is “does this man really think I’m enjoying this date?” No one wants to be talked at for a whole hour, especially not on a first date. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly wanted to find out about him but he didn’t do it in the right way.
The icing on the cake though was when the bill came. He had zero intention of paying anything more than what he ordered. To my disbelief, he actually studied the receipt to make sure he wasn’t paying for anything I had ordered. To say I’m glad to see the back of him is an understatement. That was the end of that!
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Around this time last year I decided to finally give online dating a chance after days, months and even years of deliberation. At the tender age of 43 I thought I was destined to be single forever, with a barely existent social life as well. I’m now over the moon that I stumbled across the world of online dating and specifically a mature dating website for singles which was perfect for my situation.
From a young age I had always been driven by money and focused purely on my job week after week until before I knew it half my life seemed to pass by in a flash. Suddenly I took a step back for a minute to evaluate what I was doing with my life and what sort of future I would have if I carried on down this same path. I certainly wouldn’t say I had a midlife crisis but I quickly realised that there were other priorities ahead of work and money that life has to offer which I still hadn’t witnessed yet.
I began to panic thinking that it was too late but I had plenty of reassurance from my family, work colleagues and seeing it for myself on TV that age is just a number. There’s nothing stopping a 43 year old man like me doing the same as a 25 year old man (to a degree at least).
In the blink of an eye I began to change my ways, starting with a healthier lifestyle by eating cleaner and joining a gym. I have quite an obsessive personality so once I have my mind set on something I pretty much go all out with it. So thankfully, the gym and eating well soon became a routine which wasn’t too hard to maintain. But I also needed to start meeting and socialising with people too. I was so caught up and involved with my job that I missed out on making friends outside of work. The only people I spoke to looking back now were colleagues where almost all the conversation was work related.
I still struggled to find the time to meet new people even with my change in lifestyle. Even though I now set aside time for the gym I still didn’t really communicate with many people there. Most people in the gym have headphones in and are there purely for the health benefits, which to be fair is the main reason for their existence. It was difficult even finding a place where I would have a chance of finding a friend or partner, never mind then talking to them and getting to know them. I don’t really have any hobbies other than football but again that isn’t the ideal hobby to find a girlfriend in most cases.
At my age it isn’t easy to just go out and meet a woman in a bar or club. In all honestly, I feel like I would have been judged by younger people if I was out in the same places as them. That’s why I eventually gave in and tried the online dating scene. For some reason I had always been against online dating but I didn’t really have a valid reason as to why. I think it was a pride thing. I thought I was above it. Let me tell you now that online dating is not something to be ashamed about at all now that I have witnessed the immense benefits it brings. I wish I had done it earlier!
One night after yet another routine day at work, I decided to log back on to my laptop and started searching for dating websites. For the older generation more specifically since I didn’t want to attract people much younger than me and looking for much different things. I was looking to settle down, perhaps start a family, although the thought of actually admitting that was a little scary for me to comprehend. But that’s when I came across a website called YourMatureDating.com.
I decided to sign up that night since I thought there was nothing to lose and it was free to sign up. I browsed some of the profiles on the site and I have to be honest that I did see some very nice women that caught my eye immediately. But at this point I was still a bit skeptical about what I was doing. I logged off soon after that but I had got the ball rolling at least and had the right intentions to find a partner.
A few nights later I went back on and this time I messaged one of the women that I liked the look and sound of by her profile. She had amazing eyes that caught my attention because of the slight sparkle they had. Her interests too excited me. She pretty much seemed to have the exact same past I had, in that her work dictated her life.
Two years on from that initial message and I am now engaged to her. I decided to propose recently and thankfully for me she said yes! Never in a million years did I expect to fall in love so quickly and find someone so amazing and so similar to me. I wanted to share my story so others in my position weren’t afraid to do the same as me. I am so thankful for online dating and I truly believe there are thousands of other stories just like mine out there too.
Today I am ecstatic with the way my life has panned out. From experiencing the ways of business and working hard for money to now looking to start a family I feel like I have been incredibly fortunate.