The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Back in the days when verbal communication was the only way people could interact, things were harder than today. Dating couples had to wait until they met to communicate a message. Then came the letter posting era, telephone and fast forward to today when we have the internet.
It has changed every aspect of how people do things, especially socializing. People do not need to meet physically to start a relationship. There are many ways in which the internet makes dating possible, and this is what we are going to highlight here.Continue reading
We know that people who go on vacations are more productive at work and more likely to get promoted, but are they also happier in their romantic relationships? A study review published in the Journal of Travel Research found that travel has several benefits for families, relationships, and individuals. Holidays are a reminder of the fact that although some things change when you have been married for many years, your enjoyment of each other and your love, can be stronger than ever if you just take the time to enjoy each other with no pressures of work or other commitments. If you and your partner could use a few days away, discovering new sights and learning more about each other, learning about just a few benefits of holidays may inspire you. Does booking a week away to one of the world’s most romantic cities appeal?
Building Beautiful Memories
When you think back on the highs and lows of your relationships, the best moments are probably centered on travel. As noted in a Study by Shaw, Havitz, and Delemere, holidays build tighter bonds because they provide an escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and create memories that are cherished years later. As noted by one participant to their study, investing in a holiday makes sense because you are in essence buying into beautiful memories, not just material things that don’t mean as much when you look back on meaningful moments of your life.
The Effect of Holidays on Relationships
Research by Newman and Newman has found that spending more leisure time together is linked to a lower probability of divorce. Another study by Gilbert and Abdullah, undertaken on over 6,000 people, found that those who took at least four consecutive days off to travel, enjoyed greater wellbeing and happiness. A third study by Hoopes and Lounsbury found that going on holiday increased a couple’s satisfaction once they were back home. Some countries have taken notice of the psychological importance of vacations. Malaysia, for instance, introduced a Second Honeymoon Program in 2010, offering couples who were considering divorce an island getaway where they would enjoy counselling as well as enough time to enjoy the paradisiacal setting together. People argue less and enjoy greater intimacy when they are on their vacation, than in daily life.
Holidays Reduce Stress and Promote Peace in a Relationship
Many studies have shown that holidays are important, particularly when you have a high-stress lifestyle or when, as a couple, you have been through the stress of illness. A study conducted recently by the American Psychological Association found that vacations significantly lower stress levels because they take remove us from the activities and environments that cause worry and anxiety. Holidays ensure we have less headaches and backaches, which puts us into ‘the mood for love’. They also enable us to sleep better, so we feel more alert and are better able to give our full attention to our partner. Simply sleeping poorly or tossing and turning frequently at night can increase our stress levels, so a holiday is a good way to cut both stress and poor sleep hygiene in the bud.
Choosing a Romantic Getaway
Paradisiacal islands and mountainside resorts often spring to mind when we think of a romantic holiday, but if you are a city lover at heart, a buzzing city like New York, with its romantic nightclubs, rooftop terrace restaurants, and meaningful monuments (does the Empire State ring any bells?), has all the ingredients it takes to wine and dine your partner in style. Because New York is so expansive, it offers a plethora of romantic activities, including a picnic at Central Park, a visit to the Hayden Planetarium, or a visit to the Diamond District. Other cities on the top of the romance list include Paris, Sydney, and Venice. Whether you are catching a show at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, walking along the beach in Sydney, or taking a gondola ride in Venice, chances are, you will feel fortunate that you are enjoying all these sites with someone you love.
Making Time for a Nature Escape
If you do choose a city escape, try to find a beautiful green area or seaside part of the area you are visiting, to add a little dose of romance to what will undoubtedly already be an unforgettable trip. Researchers in Finland (Liisa Tyrvainen of the Finnish Forest Institute) recently measured people’s wellbeing in three different environments: busy city parks, urban streetscapes, and wild forests. In their study, participants were asked to take a 15-break in these areas. They found that those who had visited the city parks and forests, felt psychologically restored. These feelings were slightly heightened in a forest setting but interestingly, even being in an urban green area had powerful restorative effects. Another study by scientists at Stanford University, meanwhile, found that walking in a city park lifted the mood, working memory, and attention. Once again, it is evident that by working on our own stress levels, we can give our best self to our partner. Therefore, if you do opt for a city break, consider giving priority to cities with a beach, nearby forests, or numerous green areas in which to relax after a hectic day sightseeing.
If you would love to surprise your partner or spouse with a special gift, a holiday may just be one of the best investments you can make. As mentioned above, material things (a designer outfit, killer pair of shoes, or even an elegant piece of jewellery) don’t really form part of our memory when we recall special moments with our loved one. Holidays don’t have to be expensive, or involve a plane ride and fancy hotels. You don’t even have to leave your city or state to disconnect with your partner. Taking a quick city or nature break for a weekend can help reduce stress and arguments, improve your mood, and make you more aware of/attentive to your loved one.
Feeling a little blue? May be a little lonely and single? Perhaps your heart skipped a beat as you saw that woman or guy saunter past you and now you are starting to wonder if love at first sight really does exist. Most optimists believe in love at first sight, serendipity, fate and all of the things that make our hearts go boom! However, there are those who will argue that there is nothing more to bumping into the love of your life other than being at the right place at the right time. No person can tell you what they think will happen to you, but they can only tell you about what has happened to them and what the meaning of love is.Continue reading
In the list of Top 10 reasons for a marriage to end in divorce in the UK, money problems come in third. As observed by lawyers specialising in divorce law, money problems put a major strain on couples; so much so that in 2010 (the aftermath of the financial crisis) many decided to call it quits. It is difficult to keep the flame burning when bills continue to pile up, so if money’s too tight to mention, be aware of its potential to risk the stability or your relationship and take the necessary steps to ensure you and your better half are financially and personally stable.
If you are newly married and you frequently argue about money with your partner, consider this a warning sign. Researchers have found that in the ‘honeymoon’ stage of relationships, “Arguments about money is by far the top predictor of divorce. It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money — for both men and women.” When you argue with your partner frequently, it is difficult to feel responsive and loving towards them. Worst of all, when you are stressed, it can be hard to find the mental clarity you need to sit with your partner, analyze your finances, and make a few necessary changes. Sound financial planning is key for couples at all stages of their lives but especially when economic times are tough. By working on resolving your difference and reducing tension at home, you can work on a long-term strategy together.
Research indicates that equality seems to promote stability – especially when it comes to finances. Couples who feel that they are part of a team in which everyone contributes money towards bills can feel that they are being treated more fairly, than those who feel overburdened by having to assume all expenses. The truth is that although modern couples don’t necessarily aim to be millionaires, they do perceive that living on a very small income can be highly stressful. This is especially true when they are struggling to pay the bills or do not have a savings account they can turn to on a rainy day. Sometimes, households simply cannot meet all their expenses unless both partners contribute.
Money can’t buy you love
While it is true that financial stress can hamper a couple’s happiness, wealth is not everything, which is something couples should keep in mind in hard times. Research shows that overly materialistic couples fare worse than more spiritually inclined couples when it comes to communication, conflict resolution, and responsiveness. Interestingly, researchers have noted that the way a couple perceives their finances is more important than the actual money they have. By keeping your focus on the value of your relationship rather than the wealth you are building up, keeping that loving feeling alive becomes easier. Sharing tasks is also important. Couples as a whole seek some sort of equity, so that if one spouse works from home while the other works in an office, home tasks such as cleaning and cooking should be fairly divided.
How can you talk about money without causing couple strife?
If money objectively does have the capacity to destroy marriages, what steps can you take to ensure this doesn’t happen to you? You essentially have three choices when times are tough financially: you can take steps to improve your situation, avoid facing the facts, or adapt to a tighter budget. The first strategy – informing yourself, making changes to your budget, and creating a strategy for the months ahead – is the most proactive and arguably the most useful in the long run. Creating a Plan B for your future will help you feel that financial worries are all temporary and surmountable.
What stops couples from moving forward during financial crises
Some of the biggest problems standing in the way of couples include lack of (or too much) information, poor communication between partners, and poor time management or lack of time to do the research. Try to work as a team, dividing tasks if need be until you talk to the right people or find interesting information online. If you have kids, try to teach them the basics of financial literacy early. As soon as they are able to, they should learn about concepts such as loans, interests, credit etc. so that as they enter into adulthood, they refrain from buying things that are simply above their means, or borrowing more than they can reasonably pay. Scientists note that today’s young couples want a big wedding, a home, cars etc. but it is sometimes important to take things in small steps, opting to spend less so as to enjoy financial stability later in their lives.
Having a talk once a year
Get together at least once a year with your partner to have a ‘reality check’. Talk about old and new financial goals – including saving for a family holiday, paying off credit, or taking out a private pension. During this talk, you can agree to discuss (non-defensively) any concerns you may be having. For instance, rising interest rates might mean one of you is paying off a higher amount on a loan, and this needs to be factored into your respective contributions if you have different accounts. This is also a good time to bring up hopes and dreams. Is there an experience or item that would make your life a lot more meaningful? Is there a caprice you would love to treat yourself to? You might be surprised to learn that your partner also sees value in what you do. It is important to support each other as much as possible, so long as any expense incurred is not unrealistic or above your means. Of course, in addition to this ‘big talk’, smaller discussions should take place throughout the year.
‘Give and take’ is key when it comes to staying together ‘through the good and bad’. Partners can agree to see their financial success as a team goal; one that both partners do their share to fulfil either in a paid or unpaid fashion. By being aware that financial instability is a stressor, and committing to tackling it proactively, couples can ensure that strife is temporary, and that stress does not take away the most important thing they have: each other.
Down with insistence on how one can easily find love online. As hard as dating can be sometimes, many of us have good stories to tell thanks to the matchmaking abilities of our friends. Needless to say, kissing a few (or lots of) frogs in the process is pretty much a given, but at least it is all worth it in the end. This blind date story has a happy ending thanks to my friend D who set me up A out of the blue one early spring Saturday.
Blind dates are possibly even worse than job interviews because there are lots of interviews out there where you walk in knowing the interviewer or at least being acquainted with them. On a blind date, you don’t have the slightest idea who the person sitting across the table from you is. Sure, you’ve seen their photo and heard a short bio, but still.
In any case, I decided to give it a shot not really believing anything would come of it. I agreed to meet up with A one Thursday afternoon and go for a joint dog walk through the park, my Labradoodle Ben and his Weimaraner Romeo in tow. Side note: for a blind date pick, as neutral a ‘venue’ as possible, and if dinner seems too formal as it does to me, go ahead and take it down a notch. Since a dog walk can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours depending on how much fun you’re having, you’re going in with a bullet-proof exit strategy in case things turn out badly. And if they go well, you can tell all your friends (kids and grandkids included) that you’ve met by chance at a park walking your pooches!
I wasn’t taken aback by A immediately. It took me some time to really get his vibe so it’s not like this was love at first sight. He wasn’t really my type either. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and I’m a sucker for baby blue eyes, you know, like Cillian Murphy’s. Anyway, I was surprised how much we had in common and the more he talked the more I realized I really liked what he had to say. I was becoming more interested because I didn’t feel like he was trying to play me at all. He was just being himself, and pretty much everything he said was spot on. He took initiative, was smooth, and seemed to care just a touch about impressing me, which I found cute.
Then I realized he was cute! He had full lips and a beautiful set of pearly white teeth, something I never really pay attention to because I always look at the eyes. And his weren’t blue but they were just as deep. It usually takes a pair of pale blue eyes looking deep into mine for the butterflies in my stomach to start having a party, but this time it took a smile. Or several smiles, that is, one for every time I said something he was impressed with, like what my job was or which countries I’ve lived in.
We didn’t stay too long. After about an hour and a half, we said good-bye and went our separate ways. The next morning, he gave D, my matchmaking friend, a ride to my place because she needed to pick something up from me. Did I think this was just a ploy to see me again? Sure. Did I think it was lame? Not a chance because for a full 24 hours after our ‘date’ I was still drunk on the whole thing without having a drop of alcohol.
A few days later, he sent me his first text, and that was more than a year ago. He still makes me weak in the knees despite the fact we moved in together a few months back. I don’t know where D kept him all this time, but I know our encounter was definitely not by chance. I was meant to meet him and realize that you absolutely never know where or who is going to sweep you off your feet.
Telling someone you love them is a truly incredible gift, but, in the end, words are not nearly everything. True love and affection can be shown much more through little gestures than words. That said, there are plenty of ways you can tell your partner you love them without actually saying these words, but they will recognize your feelings and appreciate them for sure. If you’re looking for ideas that can help you brighten up your partner’s day and make their heart leap for joy, keep on reading.Continue reading
Do you know of a couple or several couples whose relationship seems unshakeable? The type that people say they were made for each other. They have been together for long and their love is still blazing and their relationship stable. They are still madly in love as if they met recently. Well, you may wonder what makes them remain so much in love. If you are starting a new relationship or wish to breathe a new life into your already existing dull relationship you may wonder what the secret behind those long-lasting couples is. However, you may even not have found your significant other and have no idea where to get him or her or how to go about. Do not worry; you can quickly hook up with your mate on some sites like https://www.happymatches.com and end up with a life partner or a long-term partner.Continue reading
Back in the day, there was a rather clear distinction between matchmaking platforms and social media sites. For example, if you wanted to meet people online, you had to make a profile on a dating site. Nowadays, that’s not exactly the case. Most people these days are using Facebook and Twitter as dating platforms, and up until recently, Instagram was the only app that wasn’t used for such purposes. However, after a few big changes, this app became one of the most popular dating sites out there. So, if you have Instagram and you want to use this particular app as a dating platform, here’s how it works.
A few years ago when Instagram didn’t have stories, it was rather hard for people to know who is really interested in them, who likes their photos out of courtesy, and who’s actually “stalking” them. Today, however, stories are one of the main indicators that tell users who their biggest fans are. As you probably already know, once you finish watching someone’s story, that person receives a notification that you watched their content. So, by reviewing their notifications, users can easily determine if you’re just a follower or a secret admirer. Also, you can use this method to subtly state your intentions without being intrusive or straightforward.
It’s safe to say that the advanced and improved options like “search” and “discover” are helping people to find the perfect potential partner. The intuitive search engine allows them to easily track down any person they know, both in real life and via other social media websites. Also, if users want to find someone completely new, they can search the Instagram by using specific hashtags and they will find exactly what they’re searching for. For example, if a guy is looking for redheads, he can simply insert #redhead and #redhair hashtags and the app will provide him with a number of beautiful girls and photos on his feed. As you can see, searching for a specific type is easier on Instagram than on other matchmaking platforms.
One of the options that changed the game completely is, of course, direct messaging. As you know, at first, Instagram only had “like” and “comment” options, while messages and chats were reserved for Facebook, Twitter, and specialized dating platforms. Nowadays, however, Instagram users are able to send direct messages to their followers. Naturally, this particular option allowed people to contact users they are attracted to in a private manner. In other words, they can use the previous options we mentioned in the article to track down a perfect person, follow them, and contact them via messages. These intuitive and rather convenient options are the main reason why this social media site is now one of the most popular matchmaking spots on the Internet. Therefore, even though this network was never meant to serve this purpose, it’s safe to say that Instagram is now a dating app too.
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
In one of my previous articles here in Singles and Married, I talked about infidelity myths and mentioned some underlying issues which can be motives for cheating. I also elaborated on how disloyal partners a.k.a cheaters aren’t all the same. Some cheat physically, others cheat emotionally; some folks don’t know what they’re doing, others are just plain egocentric jerks.
Let me share you a true story: a month ago, I just discovered that my boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me with a co-worker he has known for nine months. Based on the pictures I saw and the drastic decline of affection I felt, I assume they’ve been dating for five months while we’re still in a relationship. He did apologize but he never asked for another shot, so I guess I know what he chose, or rather, WHO he chose.
Now that I have experienced an infidelity story first-hand, I can say that the article I wrote last January has more depth and meaning than ever. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of days, questioning myself what went wrong and what was wrong with me. Am I not enough? Am I unattractive? Then why did he do it? Then I recalled that even seemingly perfect relationships are susceptible to infidelity.
This time, I’ll share 10 common signs your partner might be cheating, based not only on my personal experience for the past months but also on the experiences of women who had fallen for the wrong guys in the past.
You tell him countless times to eat his veggies and head to the gym but did he ever listen? No. However, these past few weeks or months, you notice that he transformed into a fitness-conscious person, not in a “do it for your health” way but in a “do it for your 6-pack abs” way.
Another sign is when he’s getting a little extra with his clothing. He never dresses up his fancy attire when you go out on dates to impress you. Well, he used to when your love was new. But lately, you see him looking his best when he goes out with “the boys” or leaves for work. He changes his perfume. He shaves and cuts his hair too, which are unusual.
It’s unusual because you’ve known him as the person heads home the second the clock strikes 5. He’s been extra busy lately and is working overtime – even strange hours. He spends extra hours with co-workers and volunteers to travel out of town on assignments.
And he seems very enthusiastic when he does.
Work affairs are very common, considering how much time we spend working together in one room or building. He might mention a “friend” to dispel any suspicions. He might even ask you to meet her in person because they “talk about you a lot.” He assures you that this “coworker” is just a friend and he’s just helping her to get over her past relationship or to improve at work.
And he quickly turns it off when you enter the room.
We know privacy is important, but the way he hides his phone from you seems suspicious. He often sets it to airplane mode. He never even shows you pictures or videos on his own phone. Suddenly, there’s a password.
If you have to use it for whatever reason like if you have to call someone, it hard for him to lend it. He says he’s finishing a game but the truth is he’s talking to someone. He glances at his phone first before giving it to you.
You find a lipstick he claims that belongs to her sister, a lady’s undergarment which, he claims, got mixed in from his mom’s laundry, and hickeys on his neck he claims are insect bites.
There are two sides of the story. Firstly, perhaps he’s getting attention from another woman that he’s no longer interested in sleeping with you. Secondly, maybe he wants to have sex with you more since his “other woman” is giving him sex drive boost.
Simple questions like “where are you going tonight” or “what did you eat for dinner” feel more like a series of interrogations for him. He gets really mad and defensive and even accuses you of being distrustful (when in reality, you have the reason to be).
He accuses you of seeing other men when you’re at work, or of texting your ex even if you’re not doing anything. He prohibits you from partying or going home late because you might see other men. He’s projecting his own guilt onto you, and he’s assuming you’re being as disloyal as he is.
Remember when he used to say how amazing you look in your black dress? How your red lipstick suited you? Or even how pretty you are even when you’re not wearing any makeup?
Well, that was yesterday. Today’s a different story.
Even if you exerted some efforts to look your best, he shows no interest in you. He never even notices you changed your hairstyle.
Whenever you’re nice to him, he says he’s not good enough, and that you deserve someone better. He even asks you, “are you still happy with me?” These are some of the signs he’s slowly letting you go. He doesn’t even have the guts to tell straight to your face that he wants to break up with you.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting,
When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.
Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.
Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.
Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.
Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.
Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.
Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.
Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!
Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.
Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.
Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.
Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.
Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.
Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.
Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.
Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.
Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.
Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.
Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.