How many failed relationships do you have behind you? Why did they fail? Could any of them be saved? Relationships break all the time. Sometimes it’s difficult to break up, and sometimes we are so sick and tired of everything that a break-up comes as a sort of relief. Still, if you are in a relationship you care about, you probably don’t want it to end. So, what can you do if you’ve hit a rough patch? Here are suggestions.
After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the excitement wears off. Your partner isn’t something new and exciting in your life, but something that’s been around for a while, and is not as thrilling anymore. Your relationship may become a source of frustration, and you may start thinking that it’s simply not worth it. Now is the time to stop and re-evaluate everything. Why do you love your partner? What are some of their great characteristics that make them an important part of your life? Do they make you a better person? Just thinking about this can be enough for you to realize that you’ve been taking them for granted, and gain a fresh perspective on your relationship.
Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. You need to be able to clearly say what you want, and what you won’t stand for. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is choosing your words and timing. If you think that your partner drinks too much, don’t say so when they’re already drunk. Wait for them to start thinking clearly once again, and speak to them calmly and rationally about the problem. Do not make the conversation about them, make it about the problem.
You and your partner need to admit that your relationship is facing a difficult period. Once you do, you can consciously make working on it a priority. You can skip your cocktail night with the girl in order to spend a bit more time with your significant other. He doesn’t have to watch the game if you need emotional support because you’re going through a rough patch at work, or having a family crisis. Both of you need to make a conscious effort to rediscover each other as your support system, romantic partner, and best friend.
Find some activities you like doing together. Are you both into golf? Head straight to Swing Eagle and get some lessons together. Always wanted to learn a new language? Find a language school and start learning French or Spanish. Find something you both enjoy, and spend some meaningful time together. It will strengthen your bond and it will prevent you from thinking that your time together is spent on just being together, without any other benefit. Don’t overdo it, though. You shouldn’t feel like your significant other is invading every single aspect of your life, which leads us to our next point.
You need to set boundaries. That means telling your partner clearly that you need some time for yourself. You probably don’t want your partner present at every girls’ or boys’ night, and you need to communicate that sentiment clearly. Maybe you just need some me-time, and it is absolutely within your rights to say so. Of course, you need to respect your partner’s boundaries as well. It’s not healthy to let your life revolve around a single person. It makes you feel dependent and weak. You simply need to make a point of having a fulfilled life on your own, and then you can commit to a healthy relationship.
To forgive is to leave all the negative emotions behind and move on. True forgiveness will let you forget the painful memories and focus on the future of your relationship. If you continue to linger on hurtful memories you will only prolong the agony. Achieving a peaceful and harmonious relationship is going to require a lot of hard work and dedication. It is a continuous process and both of you will have to show each other that you care and that you are willing to give it your all.
Talk to your friends and family. Ask them if they have ever been through a similar situation. Even though what you are going through might be different, you will still learn a lot from their experience. Every story might give you a different perspective on what ails you and possibly an unique way of saving your relationship. You can also be encouraged by stories of others, once you realize that people whose relationships were in a much worse spot are still living happily together, you might feel that your problems are not as bad as you have initially thought.
Sex is a very important aspect of a relationship. It is also usually the first thing to disappear if there is something wrong. It brings you and your partner closer, and it makes your bond stronger. Therefore, you need to keep your sex life alive, even when it’s inconvenient. If you have children, let them spend a weekend at their grandparents’ house, so you and your partner can spend some alone time. Find a way to make things work.
Be open about your emotions. Don’t close yourself off because this will only make your partner feel more insecure. Openly tell them you love them. This will help you reestablish the trust you lost. Once you become more open about your emotions and your commitment, you`ll come to a point where all the burden you have been carrying is just going to disappear. You will feel more relaxed and more willing to invest even more in your relationship. Also, don`t hesitate to show them love by buying an awesome and unique gift.
Like all things in life, relationships require some work. Some challenges will be more difficult than others and sometimes you will fail to do your part. Never forget that everything is not always perfect, but if you try, you can definitely save your relationship.
Daniel Brown is a law graduate and a passionate blogger from Sydney. His areas of interest are alternative dispute resolution and its applicability in different fields of law, IP law and resolution of disputes arising from intellectual property infringement and commerce law.