6 ways to save a relationship before it falls apart

How many failed relationships do you have behind you? Why did they fail? Could any of them be saved? Relationships break all the time. Sometimes it’s difficult to break up, and sometimes we are so sick and tired of everything that a break-up comes as a sort of relief. Still, if you are in a relationship you care about, you probably don’t want it to end. So, what can you do if you’ve hit a rough patch? Here are suggestions.

1. Remind yourselves that your relationship is important

After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the excitement wears off. Your partner isn’t something new and exciting in your life, but something that’s been around for a while, and is not as thrilling anymore. Your relationship may become a source of frustration, and you may start thinking that it’s simply not worth it. Now is the time to stop and re-evaluate everything. Why do you love your partner? What are some of their great characteristics that make them an important part of your life? Do they make you a better person? Just thinking about this can be enough for you to realize that you’ve been taking them for granted, and gain a fresh perspective on your relationship.

2. Learn to communicate

Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. You need to be able to clearly say what you want, and what you won’t stand for. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is choosing your words and timing. If you think that your partner drinks too much, don’t say so when they’re already drunk. Wait for them to start thinking clearly once again, and speak to them calmly and rationally about the problem. Do not make the conversation about them, make it about the problem.

3. Make your relationship a priority

You and your partner need to admit that your relationship is facing a difficult period. Once you do, you can consciously make working on it a priority. You can skip your cocktail night with the girl in order to spend a bit more time with your significant other. He doesn’t have to watch the game if you need emotional support because you’re going through a rough patch at work, or having a family crisis. Both of you need to make a conscious effort to rediscover each other as your support system, romantic partner, and best friend.

4. Spend time together

Find some activities you like doing together. Are you both into golf? Head straight to Swing Eagle and get some lessons together. Always wanted to learn a new language? Find a language school and start learning French or Spanish. Find something you both enjoy, and spend some meaningful time together. It will strengthen your bond and it will prevent you from thinking that your time together is spent on just being together, without any other benefit. Don’t overdo it, though. You shouldn’t feel like your significant other is invading every single aspect of your life, which leads us to our next point.

5. Set boundaries

You need to set boundaries. That means telling your partner clearly that you need some time for yourself. You probably don’t want your partner present at every girls’ or boys’ night, and you need to communicate that sentiment clearly. Maybe you just need some me-time, and it is absolutely within your rights to say so. Of course, you need to respect your partner’s boundaries as well. It’s not healthy to let your life revolve around a single person. It makes you feel dependent and weak. You simply need to make a point of having a fulfilled life on your own, and then you can commit to a healthy relationship.

6. Forgive each other

To forgive is to leave all the negative emotions behind and move on. True forgiveness will let you forget the painful memories and focus on the future of your relationship. If you continue to linger on hurtful memories you will only prolong the agony. Achieving a peaceful and harmonious relationship is going to require a lot of hard work and dedication. It is a continuous process and both of you will have to show each other that you care and that you are willing to give it your all.

7. Ask people who have made it

Talk to your friends and family. Ask them if they have ever been through a similar situation. Even though what you are going through might be different, you will still learn a lot from their experience. Every story might give you a different perspective on what ails you and possibly an unique way of saving your relationship. You can also be encouraged by stories of others, once you realize that people whose relationships were in a much worse spot are still living happily together, you might feel that your problems are not as bad as you have initially thought.

8. Have sex

Sex is a very important aspect of a relationship. It is also usually the first thing to disappear if there is something wrong. It brings you and your partner closer, and it makes your bond stronger. Therefore, you need to keep your sex life alive, even when it’s inconvenient. If you have children, let them spend a weekend at their grandparents’ house, so you and your partner can spend some alone time. Find a way to make things work.

9. Show them how much you want this means to you

Be open about your emotions. Don’t close yourself off because this will only make your partner feel more insecure. Openly tell them you love them. This will help you reestablish the trust you lost. Once you become more open about your emotions and your commitment, you`ll come to a point where all the burden you have been carrying is just going to disappear. You will feel more relaxed and more willing to invest even more in your relationship. Also, don`t hesitate to show them love by buying an awesome and unique gift.

Like all things in life, relationships require some work. Some challenges will be more difficult than others and sometimes you will fail to do your part. Never forget that everything is not always perfect, but if you try, you can definitely save your relationship.

 

Office romance: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Office romance is not the taboo it used to be. We are spending more and more time at work, so it’s only natural to start developing feelings for some of your co-workers. Still, in most cases, an office romance is not really such a great idea. Sure, there are some great upsides to it, but there are also many dangerous downsides. Let’s take a look at all the aspects of an office romance – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

1. The Good

Obviously, there are some genuinely good things about an office romance, and they’re the ones we’re going to talk about first.

It’s convenient

Most of us spend the biggest amount of our time at work, surrounded by our colleagues. When you see someone all the time and you spend a lot of time together, starting an office romance may be very tempting. This is especially true if you know them well and you have plenty of things in common. Dating a co-worker makes planning easier, as you probably won’t have to go out of your way to adapt your schedules to accommodate the needs of your new relationship. And well, when you’re meeting for drinks after work, you don’t have to go through the trouble of setting a time and place.

Your partner understands your job-related frustrations and achievements

Who better to understand your job-related frustrations and worries than your colleague? If you’re dating a person who works with you, they have first-hand knowledge of the situation in the workplace. They know if your boss is unfair, or if your clients were especially difficult that day. This makes it easier to sympathize with you, which makes for a better relationship.

It’s easier and safer than going “out there”

Many people feel that dating can sometimes be dangerous. If you go out with a person you’ve just met, you’re risking all kinds of things. You don’t know their character; they can be violent or have a problem with sudden mood swings. They can be criminals or other shady characters, or they can simply be weirdoes. Because of all of this, the majority of people find it safer to date someone they already know – for example, a person with whom they spend 40 hours a week.

2. The Bad

Unfortunately, there are many downsides as well.

The gossip

If you get into a relationship with a colleague, sooner or later people will notice, and you’ll become the subject of gossip. It’s unavoidable. Even though many people enjoy gossip, and for those who don’t, there are ways to deal with it, nobody really likes being put in the spotlight in such a way. Furthermore, a relationship can easily be jeopardized in its early stages if too many people start meddling.

A possibility of reduced performance

Even if you don’t mean to work less, chances are that you will. And the fact is that your co-workers will notice as well. If you stop to chat on your way to the bathroom or if your lunch breaks start lasting 10 minutes longer than before, other people at work will think that you’re slacking off. Of course, you may continue to do your job with the same or even increased efficiency – if you’re seen changing your habits to accommodate your relationship, you’ll provoke negative attitudes in your co-workers.

If it doesn’t work out…

Finally, if it doesn’t work out, your ex is still your colleague, and you have to see them every day. It can cause a very difficult situation at work, especially if one of you didn’t want the relationship to end. Imagine spending 40 hours a week working with a person who broke your heart. Not nice, right? Even worse, if the tension between the two of you is too high, it can even cause problems for other people, and one or both of you can lose your job.

3. The Ugly

In the very worst of cases, there can be some downright nasty consequences of an office romance.

Harassment claims

So, it didn’t work out, you broke up, and you thought that that was it. And then you get a call from the HR, and you hear that your ex claims that you harassed him or her before or after the breakup. This happens more often if you are in a superior position in the company compared to your ex. Now this is a tricky business and you should be aware that your job is on the line, so you should seek professional help. Find a good law office, such as Stevenson Business Lawyers, and make sure your rights (and your job) are protected

Power dynamics

If one of you is the other’s boss, your relationship has just become more complicated. If you are in a lower position, be ready to face the distrust of your co-workers. From the moment they find out about your relationship, they’ll assume that any recognition you get at work is because of that relationship, even if it’s well-deserved. If you are in a higher position, you may start to question your partner, because it may cross your mind that they are simply taking advantage of you. Furthermore, there are usually rules in place for such cases, so tread lightly and make sure you understand the consequences of your relationship.

Potential embarrassment and drama

When you work with a person, how much do you really know about their personal life? Imagine if your new boyfriend or girlfriend is actually in a committed relationship that you know nothing about. Now imagine their partner storming into office and start calling you names and stirring drama. It’s embarrassing, it can cause your co-workers to lose respect for you, and it can even cost you your job. Or what happens if you find out that your new partner has been sleeping around with several colleagues? There are many disaster scenarios, but they all end in tension in the best case or losing your job in the worst.

Even though an office romance has some benefits, usually it’s a bad idea. Of course, if your co-worker if your soul-mate, you should go for it. However, if they’re not, it’s simply not worth the risk.

Mending Your Marriage after Brain Injury

Marriage is a union that takes a lot of work even years after the couple said: “I Do.” Partners go through many trials over the course of their relationship. Some of those are easily overcome, but others can be challenging and especially hard.

One of the biggest trials for marriage is a sickness of the partner. Even the conditions that can be managed rather easily, such as diabetes can severely impact your relationship with your partner, especially if they are affecting his mental state. This is a hard period for both spouses that completely changes the dynamics of marriage. While some couples accept this new instance and try to overpass it, there are those that crumble and break down.

One of these trying moments is when a partner suffers from an illness that is difficult and life-changing, like brain injury. It will put the marriage on a trial and insert numerous emotional obstacles into persons’ lives. Mending a marriage after brain injury is a process that will require investing a lot of emotions, patience and above else time into getting the bearings again.

Brain injury can change your partner to the lengths that you would have to get to know them all over again. The recovery time alone may take a long time and put quite a strain on your relationship. However, it is not impossible to find your bearings again and with some dedication and patience, you will get there.

1. Have daily alone time

If you are surrounded by people the whole day, you two will hardly have enough time to find out new mechanics of your relationship. And that includes the kids as well. So, make room every day to spend time with your partner alone so you can get to know each other all over again.

This doesn’t have to be anything special, but rather normal and casual like playing games or walking. Find an activity that will make you both happy and use it to learn more about each other. After all, your partner’s brain injury may have changed them, but you can discover them anew.

2. Don’t reminiscence of how it used to be

We all like to remember how things were before the certain change in our lives. And if your partner suffered a brain injury that changed them in some way, you may do it more than usual. Often, it’s about who they used to be and are now, but that is a futile and damaging course.

Accept your partner as they are now and focus on what you can do to help them and your marriage survive through this change. This is not only an emotionally healthy approach but will also allow you to use your time more productively. Accepting, after all, is a way to resolve the issues you face in any aspect of your life, and thus in this.

3. Work out the little things

Every day small gestures can do a lot in a thriving relationship, but also it’s the little things that can damage your marriage. Find what bothers you and your partner and work on changing. At the same time, don’t forget to show your love to one another with some small acts of affection like a kiss or giving them a smile.

4. Don’t compare with others

Others might have experienced the same problems you have, and their advice and stories can be useful but avoid comparing yourself to them. In this case, you need to find your own bearing and strategy to overcome emotional troubles. Everyone’s situation is different and unique, and so you won’t find a marriage that is just like yours.

People let you see what they want and although you may see that someone is successfully handling one aspect of their marriage, it may not be that simple. So, don’t compare to others and strain your relationship even more with that sort of pressure. But rather get to know your partner and your marriage in order to find the right solution for your problems.

5. Go to marriage counseling

When things become too tough to handle, it’s wise to seek a professional help to show you the way. Marriage counseling is intended to do just that for couples in troubled relationships and help them overcome their problems. Sometimes, couples would have to go through individual sessions as well, so the counselor could more easily understand what they’re going through.

The most important thing to remember is that you need to be honest with yourself and your partner during these appointments. They will be emotionally demanding, but this is nothing to fear or run from. After all, facing off emotional troubles and doubts will only help you be closer as a couple and get you on the right path.

6. Seek legal help

Legal help is useful in many ways after your partner suffered a brain injury. First of all, hire personal injury lawyers to advise you and represent as you seek financial compensation for the injury. This so-called loss of consortium claim will help you cover medical expenses and other costs which incurred after the accident.

Additionally, another reason to seek legal help is to transfer property in your name and become representative for your partner, if need be. It will help you run your home, organize finances and make decisions for your partner if they’re not capable of doing so themselves.

7. Use a kitchen timer

Kitchen timer technique is pretty useful in times when you are arguing to stop the conversation from becoming more heated. Use a simple kitchen timer that you start every time you cook and set it for 30 minutes if the discussion is starting to get out of hand. Then both of you make some space between you two by going to different rooms and cool off.

This technique will save you the arguing and give you an opportunity to have a constructive discussion. Not to mention that it will eliminate stress from your conversations and help you come to understanding more easily.

As a conclusion

Managing your marriage after brain injury will be a demanding process that will take a lot from you and your partner. But it will also be a rewarding one since it will help them recover and you to accept the changes after the accident. After all, when there is will, there aren’t many things that people can’t do or achieve in their lives.

5 Challenges of Intercultural Marriage

Even though we live in a world which sends robots to Mars, sometimes technological advancement is all there is from humankind. While we aim for the stars to give us a better future, we forget that there are still certain issues that should be addressed here on Earth. Intercultural marriage is one of the numerous things we should discuss and resolve, as a testament to positive human evolution for our posterity.

Marriage is a challenge. It requires work and compromise between partners, no matter how much they love each other. However, marriage also requires strength to overcome the stressors surrounding the relationship. And that is what challenges of intercultural marriage mean for the partners – endurance of bigotry, racism, class differences and all the things that come out of petty minds.

In a way, these couples have to work on their marriage at the same time they’re working on showing the world that love is the most valuable feeling in the world. Unfortunately, sometimes that is simply not enough and these couples face a lifelong battle with issues that don’t belong in the civilized, modern society that wants to spread across the universe.

1. Interracial marriages

Racism is, sadly, still a serious issue that exists in even the most modern countries in the world like the USA. Judging people by their skin color shouldn’t be discussed any more at all since it shouldn’t exist in the first place. But we all know that the world is more complicated and challenging than that.

But people are not judged for their interracial marriages only by strangers. The worst impact on their relationship is made by their peers, family, and friends. This is something that has been present in society for centuries, and will undoubtedly be here in the future.

Thus, the pressure on the interracial marriage is like carrying a heavy load which just got heavier because someone set on it instead of helping you carry it. Racism won’t go away if we turn our heads the other way, but only if we join the ranks of brave men and women who fight it all their lives. This is a complex problem that needs to be addressed from all the social, political and cultural points in order to eradicate it.

2. Class differences and challenges

You’ve probably read Jane Austen or at least seen some of the movie adaptations to know how class difference works. Even The Great Gatsby deals with this issue from a different, but equally important point of view. Marriage between rich and poor has so much scrutiny surrounding it that Pandora had a pretty big box where all those evils came from.

Sometimes, the couple or one of the partners, usually the less economically situated one, are forced to sign a prenuptial agreement. This can be the initiator of marital problems and even cause the cancelation of marriage altogether. Here lie many challenges and prejudice that a couple must face in order to have a healthy marriage and keep the family safe.

Popular culture often depicts these relationships either as cautionary tales or true love stories. In reality, the matter is not so easy to fight off and the reputation follows some couples throughout their marriage. This issue is, thus, resolved, with firm attitude rather than constant justifying oneself to everyone, and as an underlying stressor, it’s an ever-present challenge for the couple.

3. Educational backgrounds and careers

Love is blind, they say, but for how long? This is a fitting question that perfectly fits the challenges of a marriage between two people with different educational backgrounds. Some even didn’t see this as a challenge until women were given the same opportunity at education as men.

Just remember Mad Men TV show for the easiest reference and women there being perfect housewives, while men did all the important work. Nowadays, the society may have allowed women to have the education they rightfully deserve, but not that Mad Men ideal of perfect marriage is hard to destroy. But the things swing the other way as well, so this educational gap is not only the gender issue anymore.

The lack of communication in marriage and understanding from a partner are often the causes of discord. While some tend to put in the effort to understand each other completely, others forget about it and it turns into an issue fast. However, the true way of dealing with this is for partners to include one another in each other’s lives, and not feed the monster.

4. Overcoming legal issues

The main legal issue when it comes to intercultural marriage is visa and citizenship for one of the partners. Every country has its own set of laws and regulations governing this field and some are really complex to handle by yourself, like the UK’s or Australia’s. Therefore, hiring immigration solicitors is necessary to complete the paperwork and avoid serious repercussions such as deportation.

Of course, every couple entering into an intercultural marriage is aware of this issue when one is not the citizen of the other’s country. If prepared for this bureaucratic entanglement in time, couples won’t even feel this period in their lives. Otherwise, the problems arising from untimely tackling of this issue can lead to serious legal consequences and divorce.

5. Statistics show a high divorce rate

Couples today face the fact that the divorce rate is high. In a way, if a marriage doesn’t work than it’s right to get the divorce. However, doing your best to overcome the problems should be the first course of action and not calling it quits. Intercultural marriages have a high divorce rate and that is why they need more work and attention.

Different religious backgrounds can be overcome with one partner accepting the religion of the other. Certain customs can undergo small changes to fit both partners, while different cultural backgrounds carry diverse behaviors and perspectives. So, while high divorce rate of these marriages may speak against them, couples shouldn’t focus on that but on methods to overcome these problems and love each other.

In the end

Every relationship is a challenge and needs work to succeed. Intercultural marriage is a perfect example of what a relationship between two people needs to endure and how much we have to further evolve to be worthy of the stars.