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The Secret to Keeping your Sex Life Sexy is Simple
Married sex should be anything but boring. The longer you spend together as a couple the more you get to know each other emotionally and physically.
As long-term partners, you get to learn each other’s likes and dislikes, kinks and turn-offs, and have years’ worth of practice to make sure you’re both satisfied by the end of your romp. Truly, your sex life should actually be better the longer you’re together – not worse.
Still, if emotional intimacy in marriage is lacking, it can create problems in the bedroom. Your sex life should be fun and satisfying, not predictable and dull. Whether you’re bored in bed or are just looking to add a little spice to your sex life, look no further. Here are 8 tips for making your sex life even sexier.
1. Set the Mood
As long-term partners, all you and your spouse have to do to get the message across that you’re in the mood is make some simple eye-contact. Convenient? Yes. Romantic? Hardly.
There are charms to the occasional quickie, but when is the last time you and your spouse worked on seducing one another? One of the best things about getting married is that having sex is basically a given, but that doesn’t mean you should stop putting effort into the seduction process.
Stimulate your partner by setting the mood for lovemaking. Put on your favorite bedroom music, light some candles, and give each other massages. These things will stimulate sexual chemistry and make the payoff that much more exhilarating.
2. Roleplay Together
It’s time to get your acting chops ready, because you’re about to add a little drama into your sex life. One great way to spice up your sex is through a little harmless roleplay.
Roleplaying is great for boosting intimacy in marriage and your libidos since it allows you to stretch your creative muscles and act out dirty fantasies without actually putting yourself into danger.
Your imagination is often the key to a better sex life, so why not pretend to be someone else for a night and go wild? Pretend to be a student and teacher, pirate and wench, secretary and boss, dirty massage parlor, maid and boss, fake “hate sex”. Whatever your thrill, add it to the list of sexy roleplaying ideas you want to try.
3. Read to Each Other
Want to know how to spice up your sex life? Get creative.
Erotica is a great way to bring something new into the bedroom. Reading erotic stories to one another is a great start. Find a story that contains a fantasy you’re both curious about and take turns reading it to each other. Incorporate your naughty story as a regular part of foreplay and switch up the fantasies every once and a while.
Not only will this turn you both on, but the stories will also give you ideas for great role plays or new sex positions to try.
4. Play with Toys
Another great way to get creative in bed is to experiment with sex toys. These are designed, not to replace your partner, but to enhance the sex you’re already having.
It is thought that roughly 53% of women own a vibrator. This is not surprising, considering women are more likely to achieve orgasm during intercourse when adding a vibrating companion into the mix.
Don’t think that sex toys are just for her. There are plenty of other toys and additives you can incorporate into your sex life that will please both partners. Flavored or sensational lubricants, vibrating cock rings, dual stimulators, handcuffs, whips, ticklers, and orgasm gel are all great additions to your bedroom antics.
5. Communicate
Communication is key for any healthy relationship, and that includes talking about all things sex-related. When you talk to your partner about your desires, you build intimacy in marriage that teaches you both how to please one another.
Talk about what you like in bed, share your deepest fantasies, or do a sexy show-and-tell, talking them through the things you love while you’re actually in the act together. This fun instruction doubles as sexy dirty talk and is fun for both partners.
6. Break Your Routine
Routines in the bedroom can be nice. They help keep you focused and organized, are likely to get the orgasm every time. But, routines can also be monotonous.
Fight the bedroom boredom blues by mixing up your routine with new positions. Grab a book of sex positions and endeavor to try a new one each week. This is a great way to bond with your spouse while giving each other something new to look forward to.
You can also break your routine by taking sex out of the bedroom. Try fooling around somewhere new like on the couch, the kitchen table, or sit on the same side of the booth the next time you head out for a drink together and use some discreet handplay under the table.
7. Wear Lingerie
Lingerie is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. For him, lingerie is a sexy way to be visually seduced by his partner. For her, wearing a lacy, silky garment that’s designed specifically to make her feel sexy and desirable is a huge ego-boost.
When you have self-confidence you’re more able to let go of your inhibitions in the bedroom. You can choose lingerie as tasteful, kinky, or risque as you are comfortable with.
So long what you’re wearing makes you feel hot and confident, it’s a winner. The bottom line is when you look good, you feel good, and feeling confident in the bedroom is one of the quickest ways to skyrocket your sex life.
Don’t let a long-term relationship be your excuse for a boring sex life. By setting the mood, building up your body confidence, fostering emotional intimacy, getting creative, and taking your time in bed, you and your spouse are sure to have a sex life that is anything but boring.
About the Author Rachael Pace
Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
