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Mending Your Marriage after Brain Injury
Marriage is a union that takes a lot of work even years after the couple said: “I Do.” Partners go through many trials over the course of their relationship. Some of those are easily overcome, but others can be challenging and especially hard.
One of the biggest trials for marriage is a sickness of the partner. Even the conditions that can be managed rather easily, such as diabetes can severely impact your relationship with your partner, especially if they are affecting his mental state. This is a hard period for both spouses that completely changes the dynamics of marriage. While some couples accept this new instance and try to overpass it, there are those that crumble and break down.
One of these trying moments is when a partner suffers from an illness that is difficult and life-changing, like brain injury. It will put the marriage on a trial and insert numerous emotional obstacles into persons’ lives. Mending a marriage after brain injury is a process that will require investing a lot of emotions, patience and above else time into getting the bearings again.
Brain injury can change your partner to the lengths that you would have to get to know them all over again. The recovery time alone may take a long time and put quite a strain on your relationship. However, it is not impossible to find your bearings again and with some dedication and patience, you will get there.
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Have daily alone time
If you are surrounded by people the whole day, you two will hardly have enough time to find out new mechanics of your relationship. And that includes the kids as well. So, make room every day to spend time with your partner alone so you can get to know each other all over again.
This doesn’t have to be anything special, but rather normal and casual like playing games or walking. Find an activity that will make you both happy and use it to learn more about each other. After all, your partner’s brain injury may have changed them, but you can discover them anew.
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Don’t reminiscence of how it used to be
We all like to remember how things were before the certain change in our lives. And if your partner suffered a brain injury that changed them in some way, you may do it more than usual. Often, it’s about who they used to be and are now, but that is a futile and damaging course.
Accept your partner as they are now and focus on what you can do to help them and your marriage survive through this change. This is not only an emotionally healthy approach but will also allow you to use your time more productively. Accepting, after all, is a way to resolve the issues you face in any aspect of your life, and thus in this.
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Work out the little things
Every day small gestures can do a lot in a thriving relationship, but also it’s the little things that can damage your marriage. Find what bothers you and your partner and work on changing. At the same time, don’t forget to show your love to one another with some small acts of affection like a kiss or giving them a smile.
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Don’t compare with others
Others might have experienced the same problems you have, and their advice and stories can be useful but avoid comparing yourself to them. In this case, you need to find your own bearing and strategy to overcome emotional troubles. Everyone’s situation is different and unique, and so you won’t find a marriage that is just like yours.
People let you see what they want and although you may see that someone is successfully handling one aspect of their marriage, it may not be that simple. So, don’t compare to others and strain your relationship even more with that sort of pressure. But rather get to know your partner and your marriage in order to find the right solution for your problems.
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Go to marriage counseling
When things become too tough to handle, it’s wise to seek a professional help to show you the way. Marriage counseling is intended to do just that for couples in troubled relationships and help them overcome their problems. Sometimes, couples would have to go through individual sessions as well, so the counselor could more easily understand what they’re going through.
The most important thing to remember is that you need to be honest with yourself and your partner during these appointments. They will be emotionally demanding, but this is nothing to fear or run from. After all, facing off emotional troubles and doubts will only help you be closer as a couple and get you on the right path.
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Seek legal help
Legal help is useful in many ways after your partner suffered a brain injury. First of all, hire personal injury lawyers to advise you and represent as you seek financial compensation for the injury. This so-called loss of consortium claim will help you cover medical expenses and other costs which incurred after the accident.
Additionally, another reason to seek legal help is to transfer property in your name and become representative for your partner, if need be. It will help you run your home, organize finances and make decisions for your partner if they’re not capable of doing so themselves.
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Use a kitchen timer
Kitchen timer technique is pretty useful in times when you are arguing to stop the conversation from becoming more heated. Use a simple kitchen timer that you start every time you cook and set it for 30 minutes if the discussion is starting to get out of hand. Then both of you make some space between you two by going to different rooms and cool off.
This technique will save you the arguing and give you an opportunity to have a constructive discussion. Not to mention that it will eliminate stress from your conversations and help you come to understanding more easily.
As a conclusion
Managing your marriage after brain injury will be a demanding process that will take a lot from you and your partner. But it will also be a rewarding one since it will help them recover and you to accept the changes after the accident. After all, when there is will, there aren’t many things that people can’t do or achieve in their lives.
About the Author DanielBrown
Daniel Brown is a law graduate and a passionate blogger from Sydney. His areas of interest are alternative dispute resolution and its applicability in different fields of law, IP law and resolution of disputes arising from intellectual property infringement and commerce law.
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