The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Your home is probably one of your most treasured possessions. However, if you (or the previous owner) didn’t keep a good care of it, you may notice that it is starting to look a bit battered and worn out. In that case, your home may be in need of a makeover.
A makeover is a great idea for many reasons. First of all, the exterior is the first thing that people see about your house. Essentially, the exterior is the first impression your house makes. Next, with a makeover, you can address certain issues that you’ve been struggling with. It can be anything, form a leak in the roof, to a broken window. A revamp is a great way to deal with all the problems related to the exterior, without making your home look patchy. Finally, a good renovation can boost your home’s value on the market, which can be very useful if you decide to sell it one day.
So, what can you do to give your house new sparkle? Here are some suggestions to consider.
Landscaping is a vital part of the overall appearance of your house. Even the most beautiful of buildings diminishes if it is surrounded by an unkempt garden. That is precisely why taking care of your front and backyard is so important. A beautiful landscape can improve the appearance of a house even if it is a bit on the shabby side. Be practical. If you don’t like gardening, don’t plant high-maintenance flowers. Go with trees and shrubs, as they will provide structure, and find some low-maintenance plants for your flower beds. Make sure everything is nice and neat, and take good care of your lawn. Sure, it takes some effort, but it’s worth it in the long run.
If you have really old, high-quality wood windows, do not replace them. It’s really difficult to find well-made wooden frame windows today, so it would be great if you could keep them. Find a person who does window restoration, and keep those vintage beauties. If you have regular windows, then it may be a time to replace them. The newer window frames are not as secure as the old ones, and they don’t really work well for a long time. That basically means that you should check them fairly often, and you should replace probably every 20 years or so. Bad windows will cause energy losses, which cost money, so make sure your windows work fine – if not, get rid of them.
As long as you’re replacing the windows, it might be a good idea to take a long hard look and the front door as well. Doors can also waste energy, so if they don’t fit with their frame as well as they used to, you should replace them. The front door is also important because of the security of your home. Make sure you have a good peephole, and that the door is well-lit. Of course, match the door with the windows.
If there is any rotting under the roof, any leakage or anything else, you need to pay attention to it. Inspect closely all the issues, and consult a professional if you have any doubts. Chances are that you might be forced to replace the roof, especially if the house is older. If you decide to do so, do your homework first. Find out about the materials and the prices, and think outside the box – white roofs help conserve energy during summer, because the house will heat less, for example. That fact also makes them better for the environment. But even if you decide to go with some other option, your home will be better insulated and protected, so it pays off in the long run.
Of course, one of the most obvious things when it comes to revamping your house is the color of the exterior. Unfortunately, sometimes it may not be as simple as that. If the façade has deteriorated too much, which often happens in Australia, you may need to do the rendering all over again. Luckily, there are many businesses that provide house cement rendering, so you can relax and think about the color. Now, the color’s a tricky business. First, make sure that the color you choose goes well with the rest of the neighborhood. If all the neighbors paint their homes in shades of white and cream, don’t let your home stand out too much. If the neighborhood is colorful, paint your house accordingly. Don’t go too crazy with it. You may want to sell your house sometime in the future, and in that case, you’ll need the color to be acceptable to most of the people who come to see it. Going with a neutral shade is the safest choice in that regard.
Make sure your house looks breathtaking from the street. Build a beautiful porch, and put pots of flowers around to complement your gorgeous landscape. Put some nice chairs and a coffee table, for the first coffee in the morning. Build a brick pathway that leads to it, and surround it with bushes and flowerbeds. Add fairy-tale lighting around, for a more romantic feel in the evenings. Paint your fence, if you have one, to give it a new glow. Simply put, make sure that the curb appeal doesn’t leave much to be desired.
Patios are great for many reasons. They can provide you with a place to relax and read while drinking a cup of tea, or they can be a space where you entertain your guests. Make a fire pit, so you and your family can roast marshmallows, or build a grill for all those instances when it’s too hot to cook inside. Find some beautiful garden furniture and make your own personal little piece of heaven, right behind your home. Not only will be a wonderful addition to your home, but it will also increase its value in case you ever decide to sell it.
Giving your home a makeover is not only useful but also a lot of fun. Consider some of these ideas, and give your house a whole new look!
The love can blind us, it can heal us, it can make us do extraordinary things. When people start a relationship, sparkles constantly fly around, because we are learning about each other and investigating our sexuality. So, when we enter the world of marriage, that fierce passion slowly fades away, and couples usually transit into the attachment phase and value more conformity, respect and security. Keeping the sparks lit in our body is essential for a long-lasting marriage because we would feel happier, more satisfied and even healthier.
2. Plan an exciting weekend getaway
Hectic lifestyle, work responsibilities, kids and many other obligations, next to being exhausting, can also be sexually repulsive. That means, that you would just feel too tired to engage in night activities. A perfect way to escape from your daily routines and, of course, spice up your marriage, is to just run away. Find a nice cottage in the mountains, or go to a 5-star hotel and enjoy in thrilling and relaxing spa and juicy weekend getaway. Dedicate that time only to yourself. If possible, leave the smartphones at home and only bring a bottle (or two) of wine. And don’t forget to light up the fireplace and turn the heat on (literally).
2. Get spontaneous
If it has been days or even weeks after your last physical connection, then you should try the surprise factor. All relationships need spontaneity, and believe it or not, many great things can come out of it. It isn’t difficult to be spontaneous. You only have to kiss your partner when he or she is least expecting it and follow up that kiss with a nice twist and roll to the bed. Play smooth jazz and pop the champagne. And before you know it, things will heat up.
3. Embrace the role play
After a certain period, many married couples got used to making love in the same tedious manner. But as time passes, same old posses can get rather dull and that should be a signal to make a change. Role play can be extremely fun and exciting. Even those people who aren’t creative at all can come up with some vivid role. You can play pretend that you are an officer and prisoner begging to be set free. Or a nurse and a dying patient, the list is endless. You don’t need provocative costumes, or any special dress up, just try to make it a little bit dramatic and exhilarating.
4. Try something new
Again, routine! The best way to totally transform your marriage and spice it up is to try out something different. You can organize an intimate dinner party and have a heavy make-out session. Or break the rules and do something utterly thrilling like sneaking out into a park after hours or getting some fiery sex toys such as The Hot Spot has to offer and set fire to your imagination. By igniting your naughty side, and having fun you would, without doubt, fire up your marriage
5. Put off the contact
You might be wondering, why should we do that? Some research has actually proven that by delaying and putting off physical contact can lead to having passionate and flaming sex. What?! Oh yes. Just when you have started getting physical, try to stop it. It might drive you completely crazy, but in a few days, when you continue where you’ve left off, you won’t be able to keep the hands off each other.
6. Mix it up with food
When you fall into a boring routine and keep going to the same old restaurant, your spirit will definitely bring you down. In order to shake things up, break that routine and embark in a spicy adventure. Go together to a local market and get exotic food like lobster or seafood. Go home, add mix those exotic ingredients and start cooking together. After dinner, bring the dessert to the bedroom. And for the dessert serve strawberries, cherries, whipped cream and each other.
7. Try juicy aphrodisiacs
Let’s just follow up with the desserts. There is no better way to get active than by experimenting. And some aphrodisiacs can do wonders because they actually work. Next, to being delicious, an aphrodisiac is something that can immediately increase your libido. Chocolate and red wine are at the top of the list. Fruits dipped into chocolate mousse are also a winning combo. Then there is the edible body paint. Licking chocolate sauce and whipped cream off your partner is undoubtedly fiery and it will get the ball rolling.
8. Be flirtatious
Bring back the memories of past days when you have just started dating. By reminiscing about the past, you can remember how your partner used to court you and then you can try to redo all of that. Get flirtatious, talk about past days and how you used to make love, and then try to repeat old favourites. Try dressing a little bit provocative, and make your partner talk how he would take off your clothes and explain, step by step, things he would do to you.
9. Location and pose shift
If you can’t seem to find time to go somewhere far, then you can try with changing locations locally. Make love in the places where you haven’t done before. The back of your car is always a good option, soup up in the shower, “do a quickie” in the restaurant’s toilet, or just place a blanket in your backyard and let the starts wow you. Change poses more often. Get the classical kama sutra book of love and positions, and start experimenting.
10. Talk about it
Communication and respect is the key to a good marriage. You might not know it, but it is also key to a quality sex life. There is something that rekindles the spark between spouses when they start talking about their wishes and desires. Open up, and discuss what you would like to try to change in order to enliven your marriage. In the end, practice gratitude, and try to help each other and be thankful for your relationship.
In Summation
It would be absolutely perfect if there existed a magic wand which you can just swing and make everything peachy as it used to be. It takes time, effort, a little bit of patience and creativity. However, if you follow these tips you will spice up your marriage in no time.
It’s not always blissful when you are in a relationship with someone. Couples understand this better when their initial days of charm, wooing each other gets over and they step into the drill of getting to know each other for real. And this is the phase, where most couples get disillusioned with the concept of love. Or, they are confused, considering that its love that got them into this mess. However, thanks to the new age couples therapy and marriage counseling, that couples can look at their relationship and their partners in a whole new way.
The precious lessons that couples learn
Most of the times we fall in love based on what our minds have been fed with about love. We are limited to our notions. It’s when we are in a relationship that we get to understand the true meaning of love. And sometimes, to understand this, couples need to count on marriage counseling and couples therapy. To know more on these therapies, you can browse through The Wellness Counseling Center and read more. Some of the valuable lessons learned by couples are as follows:
Each one of us has been illusioned with the idea of an ideal partner. The truth is there is no perfect partner. When we accept this truth, we set ourselves be free from all the wrong expectations. Also, marriage counseling helps us look at a partner just as an ordinary human being with their set of rights and wrong. Couples take their partners for who they are and not who they want them to be. And this brings in peace and calm to a relationship.
We stay in a world where rat race is the order of the day! Things move fast. And that has made us jump to our conclusions about relationships quickly as well. It is the reason why couples think that their relationship has no future after a few ego clashes. With advanced marriage counseling and couples therapy, partners understand that ego clashes are an external manifestation of the difference of opinions. Each one us wants to secure our point of views which results in ego clashes. When you allow a little bit of open-mindedness, we will be able to understand the other person’s perspective as well. And this will take away all the negativity that people attach with an ego clash. You can reach out to The Wellness Counseling Center to know more.
Developing empathy helps to solve many challenges we face in life. Couples therapy teaches individuals that everyone is struggling and is going through their tests and trials in life. And that makes someone bitter and someone oversensitive. When you realize this truth, you start to develop compassion for yourself and others as well. And that is the starting point of individual and relationship healing.
These are three valuable lessons that marriage counseling and couples therapy offers us. Not every tumultuous relationship is the end of the world. With therapy, there’s hope and better possibilities. And with therapy, there’s a chance of a couples becoming better individuals.
There’s a time in everyone’s lives where they want to stop hanging out and begin going on dates. If that’s where you are, you need some fantastic first date ideas to woo the special someone on the first date. While people always dread the first date, research shows that most people decide the future of the romance on the very first evening.
Here’s your cheat sheet to an excellent first date –
Always have a plan
First, you need to have a plan. There is nothing worse than sitting on the couch with your date wondering what to do for the evening. If you have been friends, that’s great news because that will give you an idea about what he or she might want to do the first evening together. The first meeting between just the two of you can be awkward, which is why it is necessary to meet outside, at a neutral place like a restaurant.
Check out food preferences
Second, find out what your date likes to eat. Is he or she a vegetarian? Does he or she love a juicy steak? Do you want your date to be casual and a “burger and fries” joint? Or, do you want to do something special like a romantic dinner? It is essential to plan this part because both of you can prepare accordingly. If it is a visit to a classy wine and dine restaurant, you should dress respectably. Frayed jeans and a casual t-shirt might not be that welcome at an upscale place. So, research the restaurant, check the menu and withdraw cash from the ATM just in case there’s an emergency.
Research the place’s menu
Third, research the restaurant’s menu. If your date is vegan, you must ensure that the place you picked specializes in vegan food as well. In most of the regular sites, the vegetarian options are limited, and they usually do not have vegan alternatives to their regular items. If you are not sure about a particular diet, he or she is on like a keto diet, or an ovo-lacto vegetarian diet, make sure the place serves something up to his or her expectations. Restaurants that do not have their menu online, usually answer questions regarding their menu options over the phone.
Check the quality of service
Fourth, check the reviews and ratings of the restaurant. Sometimes, a place might serve all the food you can think of, but many of the items on the menu can be of subpar quality. That is completely unfortunate, but it is true. There is nothing worse than sitting on either side of a gorgeous tabbouleh salad and not being able to dig into it! Then check if you will need reservations. Do not get your hopes up without knowing how long the average seating time is, or how long ago you have to book for a fine dining experience.
Great food is the best social and romantic glue. There is nothing like bonding over common food interests with a new person. On a first date, always try to be sensitive, appreciative and supportive. Having an impressive spread in front of you with a delicious bottle of wine is all you will need to spill your heart and listen as your date reciprocates.
When you ask someone how to buy engagement rings, they will probably tell you all about the “two-month salary” rule. Does it make sense to spend two months of your hard-earned salary on a diamond right for engagement? If that’s how you buy proposal rings, how does one buy wedding rings? In most of the cases, women do not continue wearing the engagement ring after their wedding. They replace it with their wedding ring. The modern woman does stack her rings together or wears the other one on her right ring finger, but even that does not justify the “two-month salary” rule.
What should be the value of your engagement ring?
According to the younger generation, proposing is not the tough part of the romantic moment, but finding the right ring is. It is easier to pop the question than to decide on your budget for the ring. The decision is not always rational and logical. The choice of an engagement ring is often emotional and the existence of these “two months’ salary” rules, age rule and the car rule do not help the situation at all. So, what should you consider while choosing the engagement ring for you bae?
Pay attention to what your lady likes
Your lady must have mentioned what the one engagement ring they really wanted. Whether it was a three-karat rock or a speck on a gold band, her choice will reveal a lot about her taste. It is safe to assume that women like it big. We have never seen a rock under 1 carat elicit as much excitement as a big one. Even if your lady is super smart, charming and intelligent, there is no way she will overlook the size, shape, color, and clarity of the diamond on her ring. If you are wondering if you can forgo diamonds and going with other gemstones, don’t even think about it! Instead, check out Jannpaul engagement ring designs that will fit your budget.
Think about designing the ring on your own
You can be sure that your girlfriend has been thinking about her engagement ring for quite some time now. All women fantasize about engagement rings. They dream about the perfect clarity, cut, and carat. She may have even mentioned that cushion shaped solitaire ring in platinum or the halo diamond ring in white gold. If you do not find the exact design in the store, you can build your bespoke engagement ring from scratch with on the website.
Choosing your ring should be a financial decision
Your engagement should be romantic and dreamy. Finding the right ring should not give you cold feet or become a glitch in the process. To make the process struggle-free, weigh the following facts –
If you have stowed away money for buying the perfect ring for your precious one, then it should be easy for you. Check out the best quality and design your money can buy. If you don’t have enough in savings, then consider your potential income. Do you have a lump sum profit coming your way? Then you can think about splurging a little more than your savings will permit.
It is imperative not to go overboard. Check all your options, compare the quality and prices, and choose the ring that will perfectly symbolize your love and commitment.
Moving in with your partner is a major step towards building your life together. Living with the person you love is certainly rewarding, but you need to be ready to adjust to your partner’s habits and preferences. You’re likely to come across some of the first challenges when furnishing and decorating your new home. Aside from making certain compromises, you should aim for a design that will incorporate both of your personal styles and try to maximise the functionality of your home.
Whether you and your partner are moving into a completely new home or one of your current apartments, you’ll still have significantly more items. This means that you’ll need to introduce more storage compartments, too. Aside from allowing you to keep everything in its own place and minimise the mess in your home, storage units will provide both of you with enough space for your personal belongings.
When adding more storage units to your home, make sure to pick functional solutions that will help you make the most of your space. Floating shelves and other wall-mounted compartments can be added to almost any wall, helping you free some of your floor space. Finally, if you decide to buy some new shelves, bookcases, closets or some other storage units, make sure to pick a style that will fit into your overall home design and create a cohesive look.
Even the most like-minded couples can have completely different tastes. It’s important that you find a middle ground and pick a design that you’ll both love. And choosing a colour scheme for your new home is a great place to start. To avoid disagreements, you can choose one neutral colour for the backdrop and one or two hues for visual interest. This way, you’ll be able to introduce shades that you both like and create a cohesive, stylish look. You should make sure that your accent colours are complementary and harmonious when used together. Using these hues throughout your home will help you establish a colour theme and create a balanced atmosphere.
You and your partner should aim at creating a functional environment in your new home. A simple way to achieve this is to pick low-maintenance elements such as window blinds. Blinds will provide you with greater light control and more privacy, enabling you to adjust the general home atmosphere. Furthermore, window blinds are easier to maintain than curtains because you can just wipe them with a cloth instead of washing them. What’s more, blinds are quite a popular form of window treatments in Australia. In fact, chic and practical venetian blinds in Melbourne come in different styles, colours and materials, so Aussie couples can easily find a design that fits into their home décor. Therefore, you and your partner should definitely consider getting this practical and trendy solution for your new home.
This part can be a bit tricky, but decluttering and organising your home is essential when you move in with your partner. Both of you will have plenty of clothes and personal items that can easily clutter up your space and make it seem small and overwhelming. So, instead of postponing this dreary task, you should get rid of the items that you don’t want and need in your new home. However, be understanding towards your partner if they want to keep an item or two due to sentimental reasons. However, neither of you should keep a pile of things that you never use. Afterwards, try to maintain a clutter-free environment for a chic and comfy atmosphere.
Both of you will have your own furniture that you’ll want to bring into your new home. Mixing and matching different pieces can actually help you create an enchanting, eclectic look that will include your favourite items. However, when combining your furniture pieces, make sure to pick those that have certain features in common, such as a colour, finish, texture or style. This will help you introduce a sense of balance and harmony while still creating visual interest.
Although you and your partner will have to make certain compromises when decorating your new home, remember that you’ll finally be able to be by each other’s side.
If you are a single mom suppressing your bream to be a business owner, here is some good news. You can fulfill your dream with the easy accessible finds that are available now in the market for small businesses. These loans are specially designed for those aspiring mothers who do not have the required fund to become a successful business owner. However, you will need to know a few things first regarding the small business loans for single mothers. Remember, being a single mother and looking for a business loan, both are difficult but there is nothing to be disheartened especially when you have survived worse situations.
The life of a single mother is full of challenges and unpredictability as it is. It becomes even more difficult if you want to start a small business and keep it running as well. The business risks and operation are even higher considering their responsibility as a single parent. The consequences are greater and more severe if you make the wrong choice. Therefore, you as a single mother must know the how to figure out the best option for funding for your business. It will pay off well if you are fully informed about your options before signing on the dotted lines for the loan.
Where to start
To start with your business funding endeavor you must first know where to start from. Irrespective of the type of funding you choose, there are three basic things that you should do:
You can use The Small Business Administration or SBA template for this purpose which is the universal model often recommended by https://www.libertylending.com/ and several other experts.
Consider government business resources
It is recommended that all single mothers seeking financial assistance for starting a small business contact the SBA’s Women’s Business Center. You will get all necessary information from these centers that also offer:
Apart from that, you may also consider other different federal government programs such as the Community Development Financial Institution Program, CFDI. This is the initiative of the Treasury Department and works with SBA. It helps single mothers develop their small businesses in the under-served communities but lacks access to any traditional financing. It is a tailored resource that offers innovative programs investing federal dollars along with private sector capital.
Different finance options
There are different financing options for single mothers wanting to start a small business such as traditional banks and alternative lenders.
But before you sign on the dotted line you must read the terms and conditions of the business loan. There may be several clauses and terms that may put you and subsequently your family at a considerable risk if you are unable to repay it back on time. Avoid applying for too many loans because each application will directly impact your credit score.
As for the alternative lenders, you must be more careful as the rate of interest in their loan will be higher than the traditional big banks due to your higher risk. Check the BBB rating before you pick one and make sure the reputation of the lender is solid.
A final thought
Give a final thought so that you are very sure before you take on the loan. Plan way ahead of the approaches to overcome the challenges by avoiding toxic people, being proud of being a single mom business owner, working harder and looking for someone who will support your dreams
Halloween is a fun time of year when you and your partner can put your creative minds together and rock a couple’s costume. The trick is to think outside the box and create something memorable.
There are plenty of go-to Halloween costumes for you and your partner to invoke feelings of nostalgia, humor, and amazement. Here are some iconic couple’s Halloween costumes for you to wear (and scare) together.
There are so many iconic, classic creepy couples for you and your other half to be for Halloween. Take a page from Tim Burton’s creations and go as Jack and Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas, Kim and Edward from Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice and Lydia from Beetlejuice or Victor and Emily from The Corpse Bride.
If Burton’s characters don’t have the emotional response you need, take another direction and channel your inner Gomez and Morticia Addams. Alternatively, take it even further back and create a new age spin on a classic movie monster couple, Frankenstein’s monster and his bride.
While one could argue that many of Tim Burton’s characters fall under the Disney umbrella, some look for a more lighthearted approach to their couple’s costume. Choose your favorite Disney couple to dress up as, either from the classic Disney Renaissance period or one of the more modern movies. Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin are Disney cartoon classics that are at the forefront of movie-goer’s minds right now due to the focus on their remakes.
It’s worth noting, that technically Princess Leia and Han Solo are now Disney characters, as are the Avengers. Now is a fun time to create cross-over costumes between new Disney and old or create a few scandals by mixing and matching your Disney couple.
For the humorous couple, aim to get some laughs from your friends with a funny Halloween costume. Stick with something classic and cute such as Pacman and a ghost or be the two sides of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Play up the opportunity for puns by having one person dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and the other dressed as a taco. Alternatively, play it a little edgier and dress up as a plug and socket.
When aiming for some laughs, think of commercials, pop culture references, puns, and jokes that get you chuckling every time. A fan-favorite this year is Jake from State Farm and the angry wife on the phone.
If you’re one of those couples who has big ideas, then leaves everything to the last minute, this one is for you. The trick to a successful last-minute Halloween costume is being able to repurpose things you have at home, with a few things you can pick up at the local dollar store for a minimal investment.
Some common ideas are a fisherman and mermaid or hunter and deer or rabbit. Alternatively, go as social media with a cardboard cut out of an Instagram post or as Facebook in the style of Jim Halpert and a “like.” Whether you go for something pre-planned and elaborate, purchased from an online store or thrown together last-minute, remember to stick together and have fun.
In the UK as is many other countries, divorce, separation, and repartnering are the norm, with many welcoming children from their partner’s former relationship into their home to live together as a family. The latest report from the Office for National Statistics recorded over half a million blended families with dependent children in England and Wales, with 28% of these families having three or more children. Without a doubt, walking the fine line between parent and friend can be challenging for parents of new blended families, and it is vital for spouses or partners to manage their situation with a sound and united strategy, working as a team to ensure the health and happiness of every person living in their home.
What are Some Problems that Blended Families can Encounter?
Parentline Plus, a hotline for parents with family issues, reported receiving over 14,000 calls in a single year from step parents with stepfamily issues. Research by psychologist, Lisa Doodson of Regent’s University London found that stepmothers had significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression than biological mothers, as well as a weaker support structure. Common problems can include a lack of time (parents find that they now have to spread the little time they may have between more children); sibling rivalry (children may find it hard to get along with their step siblings or compete for their parents’ attention, fearful that they will be loved less now that they are not living with both biological parents); and territorial issues (children can find it hard to have to share bedrooms, bathrooms, toys, etc. There can be initial difficulties establishing territory and limits). Parents can also struggle to get twice as many kids to get to after-school activities and lessons, while work and other personal and social demands.
Adaptation Takes Time
Research shows that it can take blended families at least four years to adjust to their new arrangement. Therefore, if you feel frustrated or powerless when it comes to managing so much change, know that it takes time to get to know your stepchildren and to negotiate the many rules and routines that may differ considerably from your own. Be patient and use humour to diffuse tense situations, and use tried-and-tested conflict resolution skills to reduce tension and focus on issues that arise, looking to solve these issues one by one. As time passes, you will start to appreciate the benefits that being part of a blended family can bring to your life. Things may be a bit more chaotic than they used to be, but they can also be more entertaining and the presence of more rather than less people in a household can actually be a source of support in terms of time, chores, company, and other essential life factors.
Building a Strategy
Before you begin to live as a blended family, it is important to time to discuss routines and rules with your new spouse or partner. Uniformity must prevail in a home if there is to be peace in a blended family. Therefore, some feel it is logical to ask new children arriving into the home to adapt to established routines, bedtimes, etc. This isn’t to say that your spouse’s considerations don’t matter. During your discussion, you might decide that some changes will be profitable for everyone in the family. Equality should prevail, but you should not feel like you don’t have the right to establish norms in your home.
Deciding on Conflict Resolution Norms
When norms for conflict aren’t established, arguments can quickly escalate. It is important that once children are mature enough to understand and learn conflict resolution skills, that conflict resolution skills be learned, to make for peaceful, purposeful communication within your blended family. At a family meeting, you can explain to kids why using the right language is important. For instance, language such as “You always” or “You never” should be avoided, because they put the listener on the defensive and veer the discussion away from the actual problem you are trying to fix. The ultimate aim is for step siblings to see the family unit as a team. This way, conflicts can be seen as an opportunity to achieve outcomes rather than to ‘beat the opponent’.
Adding a Dash of Understanding
Be prepared for your stepchildren to utter, at some point during your life together, “You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my mom/dad.” Understand that when they say this, they are essentially telling you they are hurting, they are finding it hard to adapt, and they may miss their old home structure with their biological parents. For some kids, discussing conflicts should be left for when the situation is calmer. Take the time you need to clear your mind when you feel like you are frustrated. Go for a walk, do some deep breathing, or meditate for a few moments, coming back to your stepchild when the tension has diffused a little. Explain that you are not trying to replace their parent, but that as an adult in the home, you need to establish ground rules across the board, for all kids living with you. When you speak to them, use humour and warmth to help them feel loved rather than chastised. A warm embrace and a smile can go a long way towards helping children understand that there is nothing personal about rules; they simply need to be set for the household to run as smoothly as possible.
If you are about to start a blended family living arrangement, it is important to be realistic and expect a few teething problems, both on your part and those of your existing and new kids. You and your partner can reduce the likelihood of conflict by agreeing on ground rules and explaining them together to your children in a family meeting. Be prepared for a few territorial fights and tears at first, but be resistant, don’t give in, and always stress the importance of approaching problems as a family. Take complaints as a sign your new kids may need a little reassurance and extra time and attention and do your best to give them as much support as they need. Once rules, schedules, and bedroom arrangements are set, you can start enjoying the diversity and fun involved in living together, seeing conflict as an opportunity to learn more about your biological and step children, but also about yourself.
After a horribly long day, the idea of snuggling in a warm bed is often the only thing that keeps us standing. Bedrooms are our retreat at the end of the day. They provide a sort of sanctuary, a safe place for when we’re tired and lifeless. It’s really important to have a place to relax, and because of that, we should make our bedrooms as comfy as possible. Of course, that means that we should also decorate them according to our personal style and preferences. A room that is decorated to your taste can do wonders in helping you to relax and unwind. Furthermore, if you are able to fully let go of your worries and everyday problems, you’ll find it much easier to fall asleep, and the quality of your sleep will improve significantly. For all of these reasons, you should approach bedroom decorating with a serious mind. Here are some decorating ideas to help you in your efforts to make your bedroom even more comfortable.
One of the perks of decorating not only your bedroom but your entire house is that you can incorporate many of the personal items you hold dear into the design. Photographs can be even more beautiful if you put them into frames that match the rest of your room. Jewelry boxes can be an art form in themselves, and they look marvelous if made well. Works of art with a soothing aura are great for bedrooms and can really enhance the atmosphere of tranquility you want to create. However, never put things you don’t really like into your bedroom. If your friend gave you a really expensive vase that you’re not really fond of, put it into the living room instead.
Repainting your bedroom is one of the best ways to freshen it up. Choose a new color for your walls, and make sure to only choose the colors you’ll love. Even if you’re aware that the paint won’t match your furniture, but you simply love that dysfunctional combination, go for it. It’s your bedroom, and you need to like it, not make a picture-perfect magazine image of a room. If you’ve found particularly nice wallpapers you don’t think you’ll be able to peacefully live without, don’t be afraid to incorporate it into your design. Of course, the wallpapers will take a bit of extra work compared to simple painting, so don’t hesitate to call for professional aid. Find a reliable company, such as Well Hung Wallpaper, which specializes in wallpaper, and enjoy the makeover your room is about to go through!
Bed sheets are not just the things you put on your bed. They are also an important part of the appearance of the room, so choose wisely. Find some nice bed sheets in the colors or prints that you like and that work well with the rest of the room. For the sake of comfort, treat yourself to some fancy fabrics. Sure, silk costs a pretty penny, but the feel of it is positively fabulous, and it’ll make you look forward to bedtime each night.
You can never have too many pillows. A bed with a neatly arranged bunch of pillows looks way more inviting than a bare one, wouldn’t you agree? Multiple pillows provide multiple opportunities for decoration. They look great, and just the thought of a big bed with plenty of pillows is nearly irresistible. There is also the advantage of always being able to accommodate your needs – you have pillows of different sizes, which provide a better chance of being comfortable every single night. Therefore, stock up on pillows and create your dream ambient.
A comfortable bedroom is one of the most basic needs for a working person. Every one of us needs a place in which we feel safe and in which we can forget about everyday stress and troubles. Therefore, treat yourself to a wonderful bedroom makeover, and enjoy the work!