Having a fetish isn’t as bizarre as it may sound. Having a paraphilia – a physical object, role or thought that is the principal center of your sexual drive – can be somewhat invigorating and fun in the room. It doesn’t matter if you’re into straight, gay, bi, transgender dating or just want to meet online – fetishes can show up anywhere and under any conditions.
Some people develop fetishes at a very young age due to various causes, while others only figure out that they have a sexual paraphilia much later in life by accident. There are pretty simple and common ones, like fetishes that focus on body parts which already have established sexual attributes, and then there are rarer and more intriguing, such as fetishes that put odd things in a person’s sexual focus (feet, hair, nostrils, etc.).
Still, it’s by most considered as weird, freaky, even disgusting and sick for some unknown reason, even though it doesn’t have to be that way. For the most part, this is caused by prejudice and people’s fear of that which they do not understand or which they do not perceive as a part of everyday life – which fetishes totally are for some folk. In that name, here is our attempt at explaining the phenomenon that are fetishes by addressing the top 4 myths about fetishism.
Does having an interest make somebody debased? With respect to why that happens, hypotheses extend. One, clarified by therapist and sex scientist Justin Lehmiller, is established in traditional molding, whereby “to the extent that a specific object repeatedly appears just before we experience sexual arousal, we may eventually come to see that object as a cue for sexual arousal.” Another hypothesis is geographic, as the zone of our brains that control our sexual parts may cover or be firmly situated to another piece of the cerebrum — say, “the region that manages your feet.”
Once again, this myth can be attributed to the common misconception that just because something is “out of the box,” it automatically has to be freakish and bizarre. Surely, there are certain fetishes that can make others queasy, but that does not justify any prejudice which would mark fetishists as weirdos or perverts.
There is no such thing as a standard fetishist, as the obsession group is extraordinarily various — indeed, it’s not even a solitary group. “There are communities for foot fetishes, latex and rubber fetishists, chastity fetishists, lingerie fetishists, diaper fetishists, and myriad other specialized sexual interests,” sexologist Gloria Brame said.
Indeed, even inside individual interest groups, tastes can change, as a certain foot fetishist wrote in a 2014 Medium exposition: “It’s all a matter of taste, and like music, some fetishists have a narrow, refined taste while some guys don’t care if their girlfriend has hooves and sausage toes.”
Basically, this means that having a fetish isn’t a simple phenomenon in any way. As we’ve mentioned before, there are fetishes that focus on things that are already sexualized in general (and sometimes people don’t even know that they’re having a fetish), while on other occasions there are fetishes that are very specific and very out-of-the-ordinary. This all means that there’s no telling who can or cannot become a fetishist or who is or isn’t one already.
Yet another case misdefining something that has to be defined right in order to be understood.
As noted over, a fetish is frequently based on a physical object or particular activity. Kink, in the interim, is frequently used to depict any sexual practices that fall outside of the standard — however, there can be overlapping, making some perplexity even inside the group.
“I have always referred to my main kink, which is being spanked, and being submissive to my partner, as my fetishes,” Jessica Wakeman wrote for the Frisky in 2013. “Technically-speaking, however, my ‘spanking fetish’ and my ‘submission fetish’ are not fetishes.”
If we were to really get into the terminology here, we would have to separate spanking and submission from fetishism simply due to them belonging to two different groups. The first two are actually a part of a very complex sexual preference known widely as BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism), while for something to be described as a fetish, it needs to have a paraphilia, or in other words, an object or body part that would be in the center of a fetishist’s sexual focus.
Despite what might be expected, Internet people group propose that fetishists are all around, and they exist in huge numbers. Interpersonal organization FetLife alone has almost 4 million individuals.
“The Internet has been the single biggest boon to sexually unconventional hook-ups in human history,” Brame says “It has been demonstrated time and again that if you build a site for an interest you don’t think anyone in the world shares, within a few months you’ll have a bustling membership.”
If we’re being honest, weirder things than fetishists can be found on the web, and furthermore, it’s not really that hard finding them. Remember all those fetishes Gloria Brame mentioned earlier? Foot, latex and rubber, chastity, lingerie, diaper – all these fetishes and many more can be found all over the internet, from sites that deal with the social and sexual problems and dilemmas of fetishism to full-blown pornographic videos and live sex cams that revolve exclusively around fetishes.