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6 Tests Of Long-Term Relationships Only Strong Couples Can Overcome

“It’s easier to fall in love than to stay in love” – we couldn’t agree more.

Whether we admit it or not, we dwell in deeply romantic culture with big, and often unrealistic expectations of how love should be. When things get rough, people immediately give up, abandon and find comfort in new ones, instead of fixing what’s broken. That’s why we admire rare couples who, through the years, have kept their love for each other alive.

It’s not that they have a perfect connection since no relationship is flawless – every couple has issues and bad times. Every couple gets tired and bored of each other at some point. Every couple discovers each other true colors, including the quirks, gross habits, and shortcomings.

It’s just that some couples are wise and emotionally capable enough to build a solid foundation, deal with these obstacles, try to work things out, and focus on the things that truly matters, making their relationship stand the test of time and hardships.

Here are 6 of the biggest obstacles couples in long-term relationships face, and what strong couples do to deal with them and create a love that lasts a lifetime.

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10 Out Of The Ordinary Floral Arrangements Your Lover Would Love

Because Bouquets Are So Passé.

If you’re surprising your lover with flowers, chances are you’re going to grab a presentation-style bouquet, which is pre-selected in a flower shop or local supermarket. Presentation bouquets generally look like this: a bunch of flowers tied together and typically adorned with dry waxed paper or floral tissue, jutte fabrics, and mesh ribbons.

They are nice and convenient, but they can be, well, clichéd and predictable – especially if you’re giving it to a long-term spouse whom you’ve been giving bouquets for years.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing sweeter than receiving a handheld bouquet filled with vibrant and freshly-picked flowers of your taste. But wouldn’t it be nicer to receive flowers that have a dash of creativity and personality into it?

If you’re sending flowers for your wife, girlfriend, or special someone but you want to elevate your usual handheld bouquet and give something unexpected, here are 10 wonderful ideas to keep in mind.

1. Put ’em in a Quaint Teapot

If your wife loves both tea and flowers, then an English country garden-inspired teapot full of blooms is the best way to go. A lovely arangement of roses, daisy, and poms in feminine pastel-hued pots would definitely brighten up their day.

2. Or a Rustic Watering Can

For a rustic, “fresh from the garden” look, use rustic watering cans. The pale, timeworn look of watering cans add charm to the arrangement of vibrant blooms. You may also loop wire around the handle so it can be hung on the door for a beautiful display.
You may use the same approach for ceramic mugs, painted bottles, and vividly-colored jars.

3. Your Grandma’s Vintage Canisters

Love metals and vintage prints? Your recipient would definitely love blooms in old, vintage canisters. They come in different designs, from old-fashioned floral patterns to 50s-inspired typography and poster signages. Even vintage soup and coffee tin canisters elevate your floral arrangement.

4. Beautifully Trapped in Old Lanterns

Forget conventional vases and put old lanterns to use. Antique lanterns make romantic flowers arrangements, like roses, baby breath, and foliage, even dreamier. They also make a nice centerpiece for one’s home.

5. Bloom-filled Wooden Crates

If your recipient loves a wild arrangement of pretty pastel flowers, then wooden containers, like crates, would make perfect vessels. Aside from roses, flowers like hydrangeas, lisianthus, and snapdragons look stunning on crates.

6. Flower and Fruit Mix Basket

Bouquets usually come with a box of chocolates and other confectioneries , but wouldn’t it be nice if you give something sweet but healthier? Pair your fresh blooms with sweet edibles, that are also freshly picked – fruits. Flowers and fruits go well with each other since they’re both vibrant plants. They also make great “get well soon” gifts for a lover or friend who needs healthy munchies to recover.

7. Pretty, Mini Bouquets

Who doesn’t love mini versions of anything? Be creative enough to turn smaller  floral varieties into cute mini bouquets. You may scrimp on size but never on beauty, since they look lovely when attached to greeting cards and love letters for your special someone.

8. Classic Heart-Shaped Floral Arrangement

If you’re overly cheesy and romantic, you can never go wrong with the classic heart-shaped floral arrangement. A heart-shaped arrangement of roses, which may come in one solid color or multi-color, make a perfect gift for Valentine’s day, wedding anniversary, and your loved one’s birthday.

9. Whimsical Floral Wreath

Giving a floral wreath is one splendid way to opt out of handheld bouquet without losing the sweet gesture of “giving flowers for your love.” Floral wreaths look amazing, whether they are in bold and vibrant hues or pretty pastel hues. For a more earthy appeal, use a grapevine wreath and adorn with your recipient’s favorite flowers. They make a lovely door and wall decoration.

10. Umbrella Bouquet

Don’t throw your broken umbrella yet! You can fill it with your love’s favorite blooms, tie it with some pretty ribbons, and tada – you have a beautiful bouquet that looks quirky and out of the box! It’s multi-purpose too – you can use the handle for hanging the blooms and using it as a wall or door décor.

Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.

9 Qualities That Innocently Make Men More Irresistible To Women

Just because you’re not gifted with Hollywood-worthy facial features and strong and lean physique doesn’t mean you can’t be attractive.

In contrary to stereotypes, women are pretty much easy to please. There are certain masculine features that make us swoon, and chances are that most guys are unaware of them.

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7 Reasons Why It’s A Good Idea To Get Back Together With Your Ex

Do you believe in the saying, “love is lovelier the second time around?”

Taking the cheesy, hopeless romantic statement aside, getting back with a former lover isn’t a piece of cake. The word “ex” often gets a bad rap. The two of you broke up for a reason, and you fear the possibilities of falling back into old habits and circumstances that didn’t work in the first place. You worry about how your friends and family would react. You’re afraid of being hurt again by the same person you tried to move on from.

But former sweethearts come in different forms. We all have those exes who made our life miserable and we’re good with never seeing them again. On the other hand, there are the ones who you’d be willing to befriend and rekindle with again if the time was right.

If you happen to reunite with someone special from the past and you’re contemplating whether to give it another shot or not, check out these things to see if your relationship is worth the second chance.

1. You had a clean break

You’ve been with this person for three years but due to several circumstances, you felt like it would be better to end the relationship. While it’s tempting to keep in touch with this person and replace the romantic relationship with friendship immediately, it wouldn’t be the best thing to do. The essence of ending a relationship is to grow apart.

Time heals, right?

Give it time. It would be better if you have spent a lot of months or years apart with no intention of future reconciliation. Have you cut off your contact after the breakup? Did you unfriend, unfollow, or block your ex so you can spend the time growing individually? Have you had the taste of life on your own? Did you do some soul searching?

After some time away from the person, you’ll have a clearer pair of eyes to figure out what’s best for you. By the time you reunite, you have a lot of new insights and discoveries about life and yourself, which you can apply on your fresh start.

2. You’re willing to start anew

Start from the start. Isn’t it nice to experience that “getting to know” stage all over again?

Sure, you are in love with the same person. But you’re living a different timeline now. You probably have a new circle of friends. Your career statuses have changed. You have new hobbies and interests to talk about. Your perspectives have evolved too. There are a lot of things to be discovered.

Okay, don’t fool yourselves that you’re “strangers again.” You’re not. The fact that you have a shared history will never disappear. Talking about things from the past is inevitable. But the point now is you have grown separately and you have learned from your previous mistakes. After growing apart, you tend to forget the petty things you fought about. You are restarting with a clean slate and healthier habits.

3. Your past relationship wasn’t a toxic one

Not all exes are the same. There are good exes and there are bad exes. The good exes are the ones whom you can totally relate to. You shared the same interests and you treated each other with compassion, trust, loyalty, and respect. It’s just that you realized you’re no good as a couple.

On the other hand, there are those exes who ruined you. They brought out the worst in you. They abused you physically and/or emotionally. And you got a sigh of relief when you two broke up.

For sure, you don’t want to get back with or even be friends with the latter.

4. The reason for why you broke up is fixable

Perhaps you broke up 5 years ago because of long distance relationship and this time, you’re residing in the same city. Or maybe one’s hectic schedule drew you apart but you’re in a more relaxed state now. Maybe you were just kids when you fell in love and you’ve grown older and wiser now.

If the reason the two of you broke up is no longer a problem anymore, then it’s okay to give it a second chance.

5. You have forgiven each other

It’s a must to seek forgiveness and accept one’s apology. Whether you admit it or not, your relationship is not normal. You’re unlike other brand new couples. You have a heavier baggage, so eliminate that massive burden from your chest.

6. You have let go of the grudges

If you’re thinking of getting back together, make sure you don’t carry the grudges from the past relationship to this new one. When you decide to open up your heart again to your past lover and forgive him/her, you accept to let go of the hurt and resentment so you can finally start over again. Avoid digging and bringing up old issues. Avoid making the other feel guilty about the past. Letting go is your sole ticket to happiness.

7. You understand each other now more deeply

Going back five years ago, you seemed to be living in an entirely different planet. You didn’t like the same things. Your ideas used to clash and every conversation wasn’t healthy.

Aside from healing wounds, time also changes people. Now, you discover that your needs, expectations, and goals have changed and these are aligned with your ex’s. You get along now more than ever. When you understand each other more deeply, you can love each other more deeply as well than you ever did before.

Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting.

10 Telltale Signs Your Man Is Cheating On You

Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.

In one of my previous articles here in Singles and Married, I talked about infidelity myths and mentioned some underlying issues which can be motives for cheating. I also elaborated on how disloyal partners a.k.a cheaters aren’t all the same. Some cheat physically, others cheat emotionally; some folks don’t know what they’re doing, others are just plain egocentric jerks.

Let me share you a true story: a month ago, I just discovered that my boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me with a co-worker he has known for nine months. Based on the pictures I saw and the drastic decline of affection I felt, I assume they’ve been dating for five months while we’re still in a relationship. He did apologize but he never asked for another shot, so I guess I know what he chose, or rather, WHO he chose.

Now that I have experienced an infidelity story first-hand, I can say that the article I wrote last January has more depth and meaning than ever. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of days, questioning myself what went wrong and what was wrong with me. Am I not enough? Am I unattractive? Then why did he do it? Then I recalled that even seemingly perfect relationships are susceptible to infidelity.

This time, I’ll share 10 common signs your partner might be cheating, based not only on my personal experience for the past months but also on the experiences of women who had fallen for the wrong guys in the past.

1. He suddenly becomes concerned with his appearance

You tell him countless times to eat his veggies and head to the gym but did he ever listen? No. However, these past few weeks or months, you notice that he transformed into a fitness-conscious person, not in a “do it for your health” way but in a “do it for your 6-pack abs” way.

Another sign is when he’s getting a little extra with his clothing. He never dresses up his fancy attire when you go out on dates to impress you. Well, he used to when your love was new. But lately, you see him looking his best when he goes out with “the boys” or leaves for work. He changes his perfume. He shaves and cuts his hair too, which are unusual.

2. He spends a lot of time at work

It’s unusual because you’ve known him as the person heads home the second the clock strikes 5. He’s been extra busy lately and is working overtime – even strange hours. He spends extra hours with co-workers and volunteers to travel out of town on assignments.

3. He always talks about this new “friend”

And he seems very enthusiastic when he does.

Work affairs are very common, considering how much time we spend working together in one room or building. He might mention a “friend” to dispel any suspicions. He might even ask you to meet her in person because they “talk about you a lot.” He assures you that this “coworker” is just a friend and he’s just helping her to get over her past relationship or to improve at work.

4. He’s on his phone all the time

And he quickly turns it off when you enter the room.

We know privacy is important, but the way he hides his phone from you seems suspicious. He often sets it to airplane mode. He never even shows you pictures or videos on his own phone. Suddenly, there’s a password.

If you have to use it for whatever reason like if you have to call someone, it hard for him to lend it. He says he’s finishing a game but the truth is he’s talking to someone.  He glances at his phone first before giving it to you.

5. You keep finding weird things

You find a lipstick he claims that belongs to her sister, a lady’s undergarment which, he claims, got mixed in from his mom’s laundry, and hickeys on his neck he claims are insect bites.

6. His sex drive is totally different

There are two sides of the story. Firstly, perhaps he’s getting attention from another woman that he’s no longer interested in sleeping with you. Secondly, maybe he wants to have sex with you more since his “other woman” is giving him sex drive boost.

7. He gets mad whenever you question him

Simple questions like “where are you going tonight” or “what did you eat for dinner” feel more like a series of interrogations for him. He gets really mad and defensive and even accuses you of being distrustful (when in reality, you have the reason to be).

8. He even accuses you of cheating

He accuses you of seeing other men when you’re at work, or of texting your ex even if you’re not doing anything. He prohibits you from partying or going home late because you might see other men. He’s projecting his own guilt onto you, and he’s assuming you’re being as disloyal as he is.

9. He shows no sign of interest in you

Remember when he used to say how amazing you look in your black dress? How your red lipstick suited you? Or even how pretty you are even when you’re not wearing any makeup?

Well, that was yesterday. Today’s a different story.

Even if you exerted some efforts to look your best, he shows no interest in you. He never even notices you changed your hairstyle.

10. He indirectly pushes you away

Whenever you’re nice to him, he says he’s not good enough, and that you deserve someone better. He even asks you, “are you still happy with me?” These are some of the signs he’s slowly letting you go. He doesn’t even have the guts to tell straight to your face that he wants to break up with you.

Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting,

9 Differences between Being Single And Married

When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.

  1. Clothing And Style

Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.

Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.

  1. Parties

Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.

Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.

  1. Exercising

Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.

Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.

  1. Spending Money

Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!

Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.

  1. Hanging Out With Friends

Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.

Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.

  1. Eating

Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.

Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.

  1. Date Nights:

Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.

Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.

  1. Traveling

Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.

Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.

  1. Sex

Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.

Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.

Relationship Tips For Women In The 21st Century

Modern relationships are hard, no doubt about that! It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a widower, a young man, or a mature gentleman, being a successful woman and maintaining a fulfilling love life is anything but easy. We live in a rather fast-paced modern society where there’s no time to stop and rethink your motives, ambitions, and actions. This lack of time is exactly what makes dating extremely hard for women. If by any chance you have the same problem, make sure to stick around and read these crucial tips that will help you sustain a successful relationship in this chaotic 21st Century.

Don’t Choose Your Career Over Love

Nowadays, a lot of young women are sacrificing their love life in order to pursue illustrious and lucrative careers. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a successful business career, but completely neglecting your love life can cause serious problems in the future. If you focus solely on your job, you will lose that all-important touch you need to have in order to be good at dating. Therefore, you need to find a perfect balance between your job and romance. Don’t neglect your partner, include him in your everyday activities and allow him to share the load with you. This way, you’ll be able to improve your position at work and maintain a functional relationship.

As we’ve already said, it’s perfectly normal to want a good job and a successful career, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. However, what most people fail to realize is that jobs come and go, but true love is once in a lifetime. Sure, everyone needs money in order to survive in the modern world and the only (legal) way to obtain it is by working, but what is life if you have no love in it? Think about it.

Be Honest, Be True, Be Yourself

We live in a cruel world where people love to judge other people based on their looks, clothing style, and music taste. It’s almost impossible to be yourself and be accepted at the same time. This is exactly why you must not care about other people’s opinions. You need to be brave, honest, and true! If you manage to do that, men will be all over you! A confident woman is an extremely sexy woman!

Here are two possible scenarios of what may happen if you’re being dishonest about yourself while dating someone. In the first one, your date eventually finds out that you have been pretending to be someone you’re not the entire time, gets utterly disappointed and shocked with you and most likely leaves immediately. In the second, the lies you tell about yourself stick from the beginning, not allowing you to completely relax while you’re with your partner, making your whole relationship with him a lie. Either way, it’s not good.

Don’t Be Afraid To Express Your Sexuality

Anyone can be sexy! However, not every woman has the courage to express her sexuality! If you want to have a successful love life and find/keep your man, you need learn how to access your sexiness. Don’t be afraid to show off your physical attributes in a classy and sophisticated way. Feel free to tickle their imagination with sassy and provocative remarks. Don’t hide your wild sexual drive, use it to attract potential partners or keep your current one.

Also, note that there is a fine line between “knowing how to carry what you were given” and overdoing it. Instead of hiding your sexuality, like we have mentioned above, make sure that everyone (not just your potential/current partner) realizes just how hot you can be. However, don’t exaggerate and overexpress your attributes, as it may make you come off as “trying too hard” or even as slutty. Don’t close up but also don’t let everything run wild – stay in balance, just like with everything else in life.

Learn How To Listen

This is one of the most important relationship tips for a modern woman. Most ladies today are not able to have an open conversation with a man. They’re trying so hard to keep up with this chaotic world of ours, that they forgot how to communicate with the opposite sex. Listening to your partner is the crucial aspect of every relationship. If you don’t listen to what he has to say, how do you expect him to listen to you? Slow down and truly listen to your man. You’ll see that being in a relationship is not that hard at all.

If we’re being completely honest here, men really do have a one-track mind. When he’s watching the game, that’s all he’s doing. When he’s listening to you, once again, that’s all he’s doing. This also means that when he’s talking to you and letting you know how he feels and what’s going through his head, you should probably listen carefully because you don’t know when it’s going to happen again and it can be hard to make him talk about that stuff if he doesn’t feel like it.

Think About the Future

Dating is mostly about what you do and say right now, however, the end results can vary quite a lot depending on what you’re looking for. That’s why it’s important that you keep your goals in mind, no matter how serious they might be. Some people want to hook up, others are looking for serious relationships – regardless of what your target is, always keep it in your sights.

This mostly refers to marriage and kids. If you don’t want to get married in the near future and you haven’t even thought about having kids, your potential partner should know that. Furthermore, you should not be forced into changing your mind or your priorities, no matter how much you may like the person you’re dating. Love should be unconditional, which means no conditions should apply neither to you nor your partner once your relationship begins.

6 Things To Do When You’re Madly In Love But Feel Incompatible

You like your coffee black, strong, and sugarfree. He doesn’t like coffee at all.

You’re an articulate writer. He’s a tech-savvy introvert who’s not good with words but with codes.

You speak your mind. He’s passive-aggressive.

Opposites attract and likes repel. But does this natural principle hold true when it comes to the matters of the heart? Clinical psychologist and journalist Vinita Mehta says, “It’s complicated.”

Every couple has incompatibilities. Every couple argues about the same things, like money, sex, kids, and the lack of time. We are all wired differently. It’s about how you manage those differences. It’s about not making your incompatibilities deal breakers.

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love life

How to Improve Your Love Life in 5 Effective Steps

They say that when you’re single, the world is your oyster, and in many ways that’s true. There are plenty of advantages to being single, but at the end of the day, we’re all longing for that one person who will be everything. We want a friend, a confidant, a lover and someone around whom we can be our most authentic self. In today’s strange dating world you could be taking all the steps that seem right to you, but still fall short. Times have definitely changed, and in order to get to ‘the one’ there seem to be a lot more obstacles than before. Still, that’s not a reason to give up.

No, this is the time when you pick yourself up, even after the worst of experiences and try something new. You know the saying – you can’t do the same thing and expect different results. These five steps are probably something you haven’t tried before, and they are bound to get your love mojo back, whether you’re single and looking for love or already dating and searching for ways to improve a relationship.

Compromise with a twist

The general rule of thumb is that relationships are about compromise, and there is great truth to that. One of the biggest mistakes people make comes as a result of misinterpretation of the concept. While you should do things for the other person that aren’t exactly your cup of tea, such as for instance going hiking even though you’re not exactly outdoorsy, there is a fine line between compromise and accepting things that truly bother you. Certain types of behavior are unacceptable, they’re what we call deal-breakers, and when these arise, you need to have an open conversation with the person you’re dating and express your feelings.

If they are worthy and willing to make an effort for the sake of the relationship, they will change these habits. If not, your frustration will continue to increase. Sometimes being smart is knowing when to call it quits. For those who are single – try to see the potential in someone, and don’t discard a possible relationship as soon as you notice one flaw.

Know your worth

When you look back at your dating record, do you sometimes get the feeling that you’ve been dating the same guy over and over again? We all have a pattern, and when picking a certain type of person is one of yours, you need to put an end to it. This is where doing the same thing and expecting the same results resonates most true. If things aren’t working out and you keep dating, it’s because you’re constantly choosing virtually the same guy, and that guy is not the one for you. Step out of your comfort zone and realize that you deserve better.

As an experiment, just once go out with someone completely different from your usual type, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how refreshing this change could be. This next person might not be the one, even though you might be insanely attracted to them. Always be aware of that there is a battle of lust vs. love going on, and try to keep your head above the clouds and not get swept up by the first. Dip your feet in the water, date several different types, and ultimately you’ll find the one that truly fits. There are many things one should compromise on, but the choice of partner is not one of them. Always know your worth  and never settle for a treatment that leaves plenty to be desired.

No such thing as perfect

People are quick to notice the shortcomings of others, but quite reluctant to accept and acknowledge their own. If you’re the kind of person who always claims to be right, and whatever goes sour is someone else’s fault, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and reexamine your own actions. Taking your share of the blame, whether for a bad date or a small fight that escalated, there are always two sides of the story. When in a fight, instead of instinctively placing the blame on the other person, step out of your body and listen to the words coming out of your own mouth and pay attention to your body language. Believe us, it takes two to tango.

In coupling and in singleness

You should never, ever stop improving yourself and lose sight of who you are. This isn’t only relevant for your love life, although it can be a great bonus. Never stop doing the things you love, chasing your passions, taking up hobbies – in short, never stop elevating yourself, culturally, spiritually, intellectually. Being the best possible version of yourself inevitably increases your sense of self-worth, and your positive and confident attitude as well as all the wonderful quirks and interests make you incredibly attractive. People pick up on that – the right people that is, so the more complete you are as a person, the more high-quality people you will attract. It applies to co-workers, friends and potential partners.

Out of want, not out of need

Never enter a relationship when you’re at your loneliest. That is when we are prone to accepting whatever little attention is given to us. Loneliness often leads to desperation, and that in turn can make you fall in the arms of a completely wrong person, simply because you needed a pair of hands to hold you. These kinds of relationships inevitably make you feel stuck and you end up resenting the person, thinking they’ve tricked you into being with them. Accept the loneliness, work on yourself, and when you realize that you want someone instead of desperately needing someone, you will be able to make much better choices.