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Mending Your Marriage after Brain Injury

Marriage is a union that takes a lot of work even years after the couple said: “I Do.” Partners go through many trials over the course of their relationship. Some of those are easily overcome, but others can be challenging and especially hard.

One of the biggest trials for marriage is a sickness of the partner. Even the conditions that can be managed rather easily, such as diabetes can severely impact your relationship with your partner, especially if they are affecting his mental state. This is a hard period for both spouses that completely changes the dynamics of marriage. While some couples accept this new instance and try to overpass it, there are those that crumble and break down.

One of these trying moments is when a partner suffers from an illness that is difficult and life-changing, like brain injury. It will put the marriage on a trial and insert numerous emotional obstacles into persons’ lives. Mending a marriage after brain injury is a process that will require investing a lot of emotions, patience and above else time into getting the bearings again.

Brain injury can change your partner to the lengths that you would have to get to know them all over again. The recovery time alone may take a long time and put quite a strain on your relationship. However, it is not impossible to find your bearings again and with some dedication and patience, you will get there.

  1. Have daily alone time

If you are surrounded by people the whole day, you two will hardly have enough time to find out new mechanics of your relationship. And that includes the kids as well. So, make room every day to spend time with your partner alone so you can get to know each other all over again.

This doesn’t have to be anything special, but rather normal and casual like playing games or walking. Find an activity that will make you both happy and use it to learn more about each other. After all, your partner’s brain injury may have changed them, but you can discover them anew.

  1. Don’t reminiscence of how it used to be

We all like to remember how things were before the certain change in our lives. And if your partner suffered a brain injury that changed them in some way, you may do it more than usual. Often, it’s about who they used to be and are now, but that is a futile and damaging course.

Accept your partner as they are now and focus on what you can do to help them and your marriage survive through this change. This is not only an emotionally healthy approach but will also allow you to use your time more productively. Accepting, after all, is a way to resolve the issues you face in any aspect of your life, and thus in this.

  1. Work out the little things

Every day small gestures can do a lot in a thriving relationship, but also it’s the little things that can damage your marriage. Find what bothers you and your partner and work on changing. At the same time, don’t forget to show your love to one another with some small acts of affection like a kiss or giving them a smile.

  1. Don’t compare with others

Others might have experienced the same problems you have, and their advice and stories can be useful but avoid comparing yourself to them. In this case, you need to find your own bearing and strategy to overcome emotional troubles. Everyone’s situation is different and unique, and so you won’t find a marriage that is just like yours.

People let you see what they want and although you may see that someone is successfully handling one aspect of their marriage, it may not be that simple. So, don’t compare to others and strain your relationship even more with that sort of pressure. But rather get to know your partner and your marriage in order to find the right solution for your problems.

  1. Go to marriage counseling

When things become too tough to handle, it’s wise to seek a professional help to show you the way. Marriage counseling is intended to do just that for couples in troubled relationships and help them overcome their problems. Sometimes, couples would have to go through individual sessions as well, so the counselor could more easily understand what they’re going through.

The most important thing to remember is that you need to be honest with yourself and your partner during these appointments. They will be emotionally demanding, but this is nothing to fear or run from. After all, facing off emotional troubles and doubts will only help you be closer as a couple and get you on the right path.

  1. Seek legal help

Legal help is useful in many ways after your partner suffered a brain injury. First of all, hire personal injury lawyers to advise you and represent as you seek financial compensation for the injury. This so-called loss of consortium claim will help you cover medical expenses and other costs which incurred after the accident.

Additionally, another reason to seek legal help is to transfer property in your name and become representative for your partner, if need be. It will help you run your home, organize finances and make decisions for your partner if they’re not capable of doing so themselves.

  1. Use a kitchen timer

Kitchen timer technique is pretty useful in times when you are arguing to stop the conversation from becoming more heated. Use a simple kitchen timer that you start every time you cook and set it for 30 minutes if the discussion is starting to get out of hand. Then both of you make some space between you two by going to different rooms and cool off.

This technique will save you the arguing and give you an opportunity to have a constructive discussion. Not to mention that it will eliminate stress from your conversations and help you come to understanding more easily.

As a conclusion

Managing your marriage after brain injury will be a demanding process that will take a lot from you and your partner. But it will also be a rewarding one since it will help them recover and you to accept the changes after the accident. After all, when there is will, there aren’t many things that people can’t do or achieve in their lives.

10 Small Romantic Gestures That Boost Your Relationship Big Time

When looking for the perfect ways to spice up a bland relationship, couples often turn to grand gestures. They go out and splurge on a fancy date at a steakhouse, travel out of town, and buy expensive things for their partner. We tend to forget that it is the smallest, simplest things that keep a relationship moving.

Oftentimes, you don’t have to go outside. Genuine and heartwarming gestures of love and affection are displayed at home

It doesn’t take that much amount of time, effort, and money to make your partner feel valued every day. To build a strong connection and bond that lasts, here are some expert tricks to fit into your routine.

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5 Reasons Why Premarital Counseling Is A Must Before Saying “I Do”

It’s natural for anyone who’s getting married to be optimistic – to be confident that nothing can break them apart and nothing can go wrong. The truth is, a lot of things will change after marriage, and even the happiest of all relationships can fall apart without proper preparation, attention, and investment.

This is where premarital counseling comes in. As its name suggests, it is the type of couples therapy in preparation for marriage aiming to help your relationship grow stronger. However, this couples therapy is far from the sweet, romantic talk you might think of. You seek counselors not only to talk about the things you love about each other but the unattractive things you just prefer to keep under the rug.

Ahead are five major reasons why premarital counseling is crucial before tying a knot.

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Marriage Counseling: Strengthen The Bond With Your Partner 

Whether you have a love marriage or an arranged marriage, with the passage of time you are bound to face difficulties in your relationship no matter how much you love your partner. And that’s the case with all most all the couples in this universe or most of the  marriages.

In the beginning, when you fall in love with your partner, you start believing that you will never face issues in your marriage, but slowly and gradually the world around you (including the social, political and economic factors) somewhere start contributing in destroying your relationship with your partner. No happily married couples would ever like the idea of falling out of love, however, a large number of them face this situation at least once in their life. Hence, every couple must realize that difficulties are always going to be a part of their married life, and they should take necessary steps to deal with them in a healthy manner if they want to preserve their relationship.

If you are experiencing a really bad time in your married life then you must take professional support to deal with the problem, wherein you can either go for marriage counseling or couples therapy.

Here Is a Snapshot Of Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling is a highly important part of relationship counseling, and it aims at resolving the problems between married couples. However, if couples facing tremendous problems in their relationship do not opt for marriage counseling, chances of their marriage ending up soon become too high. Marriage counseling is a systematic process of counseling married couples, wherein an experienced therapist or a marriage counselor effectively listens to the problems confronted by them in their relationship.

The therapist asks a range of questions related to the personal life of the couples in order to understand or identify the core issues so that he/she can offer the right type of advice or guidance to them. Depending upon the condition of your relationship, a therapist may either ask you to go for short-term counseling or long-term counseling, wherein the former can be completed with just a few sessions, but the later one can run for several years.

If you want to get the best advice from your counselor, it is better to explain everything clearly to him/her, because his/her advice is always based on your experiences. On top of that, you should also describe whether your relationship is getting better after you met your counselor or not. In that way, your counselor or therapist will get to know whether the advice or suggestions given by him/her are working properly or not, and if in case that’s not leading to any sort of positive development as far as your relationship with your spouse is concerned, then he/she should try out something else. Generally,  the couples who go for marriage counseling get tremendous positive outcomes, when it comes to preserving their marriage.

 Now Let’s Take a Look At Couples Therapy

 Couples therapy is also an indispensable part of relationship therapy, wherein the therapist tries to explore the thoughts and behavior of the couples by asking them important questions regarding their relationship with their partner. The major difference between couples therapy and marriage counseling is that the former can be carried out both for unmarried and married couples, but the later one strictly deals with the problems faced by married couples.

During couples therapy, a therapist offers the solutions for issues associated with communication, intimacy, and family problems etc. And in order to offer correct advice, the therapist try to understand the relationship history and the way couples behave with each other. Same like marriage counseling, here also couples need to be extremely honest when it comes to explaining the issues faced by them in the relationship with the therapist so that they can get valuable advice.

During the therapeutic process, the entire aim of the therapist remains to provide positive advice to couples so that they can understand the importance of their relationship and can work together in sorting out the difficulties. Mostly after a few sessions couples start taking their relationship more seriously, which eventually helps them in maintaining it properly.

What Sort Of Advice Or Support Can You Expect From a Therapist?Marriage Counselling1

 The therapist whom you approach for couples therapy or marriage counseling is generally a person with strong knowledge of Psychology, who can judge the condition of your relationship through your behavior with your partner and by exploring your feelings and thoughts for him/her. Before offering any sort of guidance to couples, the therapist first observes their behavior against each other in order to understand the exact problem and its cause. For example, if the couples are facing disturbance in their relationship because of their family members, then the therapist will guide them accordingly so that the problem can be resolved completely.

However, if financial problem is creating trouble in their life, then the therapist would give necessary guidance on how to keep such issues out of personal life or he/she may also advice them on how to become a little more responsible when it comes to tackling the money, so that the entire problem can be kept at the bay.

On the other hand, if the couples are losing interest in each other, then the therapist may ask them to spend more of their time together so that they can fill the gap that was created between them over a period of time due to various reasons. The therapist will definitely try to understand the reason behind couples losing interest in each other, which could even be anything such as an extra-marital affair or their busy work schedules etc.

For example, if one of the partners is having an extra-marital affair, then the therapist will definitely like to know if the couple wants to continue with their marriage or not, and if at all they are willing to work on it, he/she will offer the advice accordingly.

In most of the cases, the counseling and therapy provided by the therapist work in favor of the couples.