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How To Be Happy & Satisfied with Life After Divorce

Just like millions of other people all over the world, you will also be traumatized when your marriage comes to an end. However, it will help you tremendously, if you know the steps to take that will show you how to be happy after divorce, such as the following tips suggested by the family solicitors in Sydney:

 

Consider getting help from a professional

You will probably go through emotional trauma when your marriage has ended. Accept it and see a counsellor help you come to terms with these feelings.

 

Build a support network

You will have days where the sadness that followed the divorce is almost unbearable. Instead of trying to deal with your grief on your own, speak to your family and friends about your feelings. They care about you and will no doubt give you all the support you need during these difficult times.

 

Be honest with yourself as to why your marriage failed

The one thing that you must do to become happier after your divorce, is to be 100% honest as to the reasons for your marriage coming apart at the seams. This will give you closure, instead of the constant “if only” that could prevent you from moving on with your life.

 

Be careful of the strategies you use 

There are people who resort to using drugs and alcohol to block out the bad feelings they have about their failed marriages. Then there are those who immediately jump into a new and unfulfilling relationship to reassure themselves that they are not the one made the mistakes to cause the divorce. These strategies are not only unhealthy but are almost guaranteed to prevent you from being happy in the future.

 

Keep busy with a new hobby

Remember, your time is your own now. Instead of spending it doing things for your spouse, you are now able to do things that make you happy! You’re free to try out new experiences that you’ve always dreamt of doing. Take up skydiving, learn to crochet, plant a vegetable garden, try living off the grid, or take a gourmet cooking class.

 

Focus on your own needs

Now you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself and the things you want and need in life. If you feel like going out, then do it. If you feel like staying in and reading all day, then do that too. You don’t have to feel selfish about anything you do from now on, to heal yourself after your divorce.

 

Stay healthy

Maintain healthy eating habits and exercise on a regular basis. By doing this, you will be keeping your body in excellent condition, look and feel great, and help to prevent illness and depression.

 

Choose to be happy

Divorce might give you negative feelings, but in the end, it is up to you entirely, to decide on how long you are going to ride the pity train or make the choice to get out from under the duvet and be a happier person.

 

To summarize

While all the above steps will help you to overcome the trauma after your divorce, it’s the first one that is extremely important! Make an appointment with family law experts for post-divorce counselling.

 

Mending Your Marriage after Brain Injury

Marriage is a union that takes a lot of work even years after the couple said: “I Do.” Partners go through many trials over the course of their relationship. Some of those are easily overcome, but others can be challenging and especially hard.

One of the biggest trials for marriage is a sickness of the partner. Even the conditions that can be managed rather easily, such as diabetes can severely impact your relationship with your partner, especially if they are affecting his mental state. This is a hard period for both spouses that completely changes the dynamics of marriage. While some couples accept this new instance and try to overpass it, there are those that crumble and break down.

One of these trying moments is when a partner suffers from an illness that is difficult and life-changing, like brain injury. It will put the marriage on a trial and insert numerous emotional obstacles into persons’ lives. Mending a marriage after brain injury is a process that will require investing a lot of emotions, patience and above else time into getting the bearings again.

Brain injury can change your partner to the lengths that you would have to get to know them all over again. The recovery time alone may take a long time and put quite a strain on your relationship. However, it is not impossible to find your bearings again and with some dedication and patience, you will get there.

  1. Have daily alone time

If you are surrounded by people the whole day, you two will hardly have enough time to find out new mechanics of your relationship. And that includes the kids as well. So, make room every day to spend time with your partner alone so you can get to know each other all over again.

This doesn’t have to be anything special, but rather normal and casual like playing games or walking. Find an activity that will make you both happy and use it to learn more about each other. After all, your partner’s brain injury may have changed them, but you can discover them anew.

  1. Don’t reminiscence of how it used to be

We all like to remember how things were before the certain change in our lives. And if your partner suffered a brain injury that changed them in some way, you may do it more than usual. Often, it’s about who they used to be and are now, but that is a futile and damaging course.

Accept your partner as they are now and focus on what you can do to help them and your marriage survive through this change. This is not only an emotionally healthy approach but will also allow you to use your time more productively. Accepting, after all, is a way to resolve the issues you face in any aspect of your life, and thus in this.

  1. Work out the little things

Every day small gestures can do a lot in a thriving relationship, but also it’s the little things that can damage your marriage. Find what bothers you and your partner and work on changing. At the same time, don’t forget to show your love to one another with some small acts of affection like a kiss or giving them a smile.

  1. Don’t compare with others

Others might have experienced the same problems you have, and their advice and stories can be useful but avoid comparing yourself to them. In this case, you need to find your own bearing and strategy to overcome emotional troubles. Everyone’s situation is different and unique, and so you won’t find a marriage that is just like yours.

People let you see what they want and although you may see that someone is successfully handling one aspect of their marriage, it may not be that simple. So, don’t compare to others and strain your relationship even more with that sort of pressure. But rather get to know your partner and your marriage in order to find the right solution for your problems.

  1. Go to marriage counseling

When things become too tough to handle, it’s wise to seek a professional help to show you the way. Marriage counseling is intended to do just that for couples in troubled relationships and help them overcome their problems. Sometimes, couples would have to go through individual sessions as well, so the counselor could more easily understand what they’re going through.

The most important thing to remember is that you need to be honest with yourself and your partner during these appointments. They will be emotionally demanding, but this is nothing to fear or run from. After all, facing off emotional troubles and doubts will only help you be closer as a couple and get you on the right path.

  1. Seek legal help

Legal help is useful in many ways after your partner suffered a brain injury. First of all, hire personal injury lawyers to advise you and represent as you seek financial compensation for the injury. This so-called loss of consortium claim will help you cover medical expenses and other costs which incurred after the accident.

Additionally, another reason to seek legal help is to transfer property in your name and become representative for your partner, if need be. It will help you run your home, organize finances and make decisions for your partner if they’re not capable of doing so themselves.

  1. Use a kitchen timer

Kitchen timer technique is pretty useful in times when you are arguing to stop the conversation from becoming more heated. Use a simple kitchen timer that you start every time you cook and set it for 30 minutes if the discussion is starting to get out of hand. Then both of you make some space between you two by going to different rooms and cool off.

This technique will save you the arguing and give you an opportunity to have a constructive discussion. Not to mention that it will eliminate stress from your conversations and help you come to understanding more easily.

As a conclusion

Managing your marriage after brain injury will be a demanding process that will take a lot from you and your partner. But it will also be a rewarding one since it will help them recover and you to accept the changes after the accident. After all, when there is will, there aren’t many things that people can’t do or achieve in their lives.

Happy & Healthy Marriage Advice Every Couple Should Use

Tying the knot is easy, it’s staying married that is the tricky part.

In order to be successful, you and your spouse must learn to compromise, respect each other, and communicate. Don’t let yourself forget how important your partner is to you.

If you want to have a happy, successful married life, then read on and learn the 10 best tips for a healthy marriage that every couple should be following.

  1. Always Put in the Effort

Getting married shouldn’t mean that end of dating – each other, obviously!

Putting in the effort to schedule a fun, sexy, or romantic date night is all about making your partner feeling loved, adored, and desired. These are important aspects of any healthy marriage.

Studies reveal other benefits of date night as well, such as heightened sexual and emotional intimacy, boredom prevention, and deeper communication.

  1. Build Lasting Trust

Trust is one of the most important parts of any healthy marriage.

Your partner should be the person you can tell your deepest secrets to without every worrying that they will judge you or share your stories with anyone else. Trust also means living with confidence that your spouse would never do anything to betray you nor you them.

  1. Play Like Friends

In a study about what makes a marriage last, treating a spouse like a best friend rated as one of the biggest indicators of success. Research also indicates that couples who laugh together regularly are more likely to stay together than those who do not.

Your best friend is the first person you think to call when something exciting happens. They are the person you want to go to concerts with, the person you trust, and the person who can always make you laugh. So, why shouldn’t this person be your spouse?

  1. Don’t Expect Perfection

Part of having a healthy married life is about having realistic expectations about your partner and loving them for who they are, not who you wish they would become.

People naturally mature as they grow older. They grow and change in various ways. Perhaps they even quit bad habits such as smoking or staying up all hours of the night. Your spouse may change their opinion about getting a pet, decide they actually do want kids, or may even change careers after marriage.

But, those are their own decisions. While you have every right to weigh in, offer you opinion, and give support as a spouse – thinking that you can be the cause of change in your partner is a fruitless challenge that will only leave you shaking your head.

  1. Maintain Your Sex Life

Sex is arguably the biggest way in which couples bond both emotionally and physically. The oxytocin released during intercourse is largely responsible for stress-reduction, mood elevation, and is the biggest predictor in heightened emotional intimacy in married couples.

An active sex life also promotes bonding, and is scientifically shown to deepen trust.

Plus, it’s fun.

  1. Pursue Separate Interests

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you always have the same interests. It is just as important to pursue separate interests as is it to share hobbies and goals.

Maintaining solo hobbies and social lives will help each spouse hang onto their sense of self outside the relationship. In turn, this confidence will strengthen the marriage bond.

  1. Do New Things Together

According to twentieth century philosopher Rudolf Steiner, people change their opinions and interests every seven years. So, if the changing of body and mind is inevitable, do your utmost to ensure you and your spouse are changing and growing in the same direction.

One way you can do this is by sharing new things together. Take up a class, instrument, language, or start a new hobby like exercising or photography. By taking up these challenges together, you’ll be able to deepen the connection in your married life.

  1. Be Partners

Your spouse is not simply the person you married, they are your partner. By marrying them it means that you have entered into a partnership, so always treat it like one. Decisions are made together, issues are talked about respectfully, and each spouse’s feelings, thoughts, and opinions are to be treated with care.

Just like in a business, you and your spouse are working toward the same goal together in order to profit your relationship.

  1. Learn to Compromise

This step may be difficult for those who are used to getting what they want. But, being in a marriage means melding two different lives together. As with any couple, this is bound to cause you two to butt heads every once in a while. This is where the art of compromise comes in.

Marrying the love of your life means everything isn’t always about you anymore. You are building a family together as partners, not enemies. Learn to pick your battles. Decide what is important to you and what isn’t worth your instance.

  1. Don’t Go to Bed Angry

This age-old advice had been around for decades for a reason. Going to bed angry is a hurtful thing to do to both partners. You’ll end up losing sleep, hurting your spouse for your lack of communication and understanding, and be hurting your brain in the process. Literally.

Studies prove that by going to bed angry, you are actually encouraging your brain to hold onto negative emotions that will be harder to get rid of then if you had simply called a truce before bed.

Sure, there are some issues that could be put on hold until morning, but you should always strive to kiss and make up before bedtime.

Being married is a rewarding adventure, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t bumps along the way. By following these 10 tips, you’ll be setting yourself up for a healthy marriage for years to come.

9 Differences between Being Single And Married

When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.

  1. Clothing And Style

Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.

Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.

  1. Parties

Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.

Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.

  1. Exercising

Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.

Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.

  1. Spending Money

Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!

Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.

  1. Hanging Out With Friends

Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.

Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.

  1. Eating

Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.

Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.

  1. Date Nights:

Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.

Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.

  1. Traveling

Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.

Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.

  1. Sex

Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.

Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.

Smartphones Don’t Ruin Relationships – Sick Phone Habits Do

A smartphone is a powerful invention designed to keep us connected, and it’s ironic how it also becomes the culprit for keeping most people apart. But the question is, should smartphones take all the blame?

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Never Tie A Knot Without Answering These 10 Questions

So you’re madly in love and you want to take your long-term relationship to the next level – marriage. The fact that you get along for almost a decade and sparks just light up whenever you look at each other’s eyes just validate that your partner is “the one.” It’s just like the movies, and you can’t wait for a sequel. But taking all the chick flick moments aside, what would remain? Are you best friends? Or merely cold strangers?

Older folks used to say that marriage is not like a hot spoonful of rice that you can spit out once you get burned. Unlike in young, shallow love, there’s no such thing as a “break-up” when you get married. It’s a lifetime commitment. Yes, divorce and annulment exist but nobody wanted to even go there. Upon wearing those rings, two persons vow to spend the rest of their lives with each other, for happiness and sorrow, and for better or for worse.

Before you say “I do,” here are 10 brutally honest questions you and your spouse should answer.

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Four Truths About Marriage Every Unhappy Couple Should Digest

Nobody hopes to end up in a bad marriage. Every individual who yearns to love and be loved wants a marriage that lasts a lifetime – to grow old in love with one another until mortality parts them.

But things change through the course of the relationship. People change. Priorities change. Feelings change. Some marriages which are built with a solid foundation stand the test, while some eventually crumble like a house of cards. Some people part ways and move on upon recognizing it cannot be fixed, while some people decide to stay in an unhappy marriage, still hoping.

Do you find yourself stuck in an unhappy marriage? Don’t get me wrong – the lack of happiness and intimacy isn’t uncommon in romantic relationships. But if the cause of unhappiness is beyond repair and you feel like you’re wasting your time in a relationship that’s no longer working, maybe it’s time to face these four truths.

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Make Your Marriage Work

Seven Things You Have To Let Go Today To Make Your Marriage Work

Every time we see old couples, who hold each other’s wrinkled hands, kiss each other’s cheeks, and remain madly in love through the years, we cannot help but ask: what is your secret to achieving a happy and long-lasting marriage? How have you kept your love for each other alive?Continue reading

The 6 Mistakes Couples Make When Booking Their Honeymoons

The 6 Mistakes Couples Make When Booking Their Honeymoons

Planning a wedding can stress out even the most organized of people and the honeymoon is the much-needed relief from all of that. But most couples tend to give less attention in planning their honeymoon in favor of making sure everything else is perfect for the wedding, which is great but you still need to make sure you don’t do your honeymoon wrong. Here is a guide to at least help you be aware on the shoulds and shouldn’ts. These are some Not-To’s you need to take note of after you say the “I Do’s”.Continue reading

5 Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship

5 Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship

5 Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship
5 Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship

Relationships are hard work, and even the best ones require stubborn tenacity from both partners. However, not all relationships are meant to last. Some were never right from the beginning, while others have served their purpose and run their course. How can you tell if your relationship is worth fixing, or whether it is time to walk away? Here are 5 signs you are in the wrong relationship.

1. You are distracted/anxious/obsessive

If you and your mate just had a big fight, it is normal to have trouble concentrating on anything else for a bit. Having a good cry or taking a long walk are healthy ways of expressing your emotions before talking out the issues. In a good relationship though, you know that both of you are committed to working things out. This makes it easier to put difficulties in perspective and avoid ruminating on the drama of the moment.

If you are in the wrong relationship, you probably spend a great deal of time worrying about your relationship. You might obsessively replay conversations in your head, looking for hidden meanings, become fixated on something that one of you said, or even start to dread being with your partner for fear of having another fight. If the negative emotions outweigh the positive ones over a period of time, it might be time to move on.

2.You make excuses for your partner

When you are in the wrong relationship, your perceptions will likely become distorted. You might read hidden meanings into innocent statements or behaviours, while minimising the things that are more serious. A common reaction to a bad relationship is making excuses or justifying your partner’s behaviour. If you constantly find yourself thinking up reasons for him to come home late, or apologising to friends for her cancelling plans at the last minute, your relationship might not be right.

3. Your family and friends want you to quit

Occasional personality conflicts are inevitable, and everyone has a horror story about a relative’s partner that they simply cannot get along with. So don’t read too much into one or two people’s opinions. Overall though, the people who love you want you to be happy. If your friends and family express strong dislike for your partner, or concern for your emotional well-being, take them seriously.

4. Your self-esteem is taking a beating

Do you feel like you are always apologising for conflicts that happen in the relationship? Have you stopped enjoying your hobbies and interests? Do you wish there was a way to fix yourself? In a healthy relationship, both partners encourage each other to be the best they can be, but in a kind and loving way that demonstrates emotional support and genuine pride in each other’s successes. If your relationship is unhealthy, you might feel like you don’t have a voice. Constant criticism, even in the name of “teasing,” minimising your accomplishments, or making you feel like something is wrong with you are just a few of the ways that your partner might undermine your self-esteem.

5. You want out

We all have gut instincts that help us tell right from wrong. It can be tough to separate your actual instincts from the effects of fear and doubt, especially if you have been hurt before. So don’t pay too much attention to passing thoughts, particularly those that occur to you during heated moments. When your gut brain really feels something is wrong, it will let you know.

When your relationship is wrong, your mind will wander to doubts even in the quiet moments. Though everything seems fine on the surface, you might start thinking about past loves or wondering how it would feel to date someone new. You might also begin to ruminate on things that have happened during your relationship, such as hurtful verbal exchanges or behaviours you can’t quite explain. If you start to experience these thoughts, take some time to sit down and truthfully analyse your relationship. You might realize that you are ready to walk away.

Looking for verifiable information on the science of attraction and relationships? We’re a neuroscientist and a biological anthropologist eager to help you put the Anatomy of Love to work in your own life.