The art of listening
More often than not, couples face the perils of communication blunders these days. Surrounded by devices, we rely too much on connectivity to get through and keep in touch with our beloved ones. The truth is that, however useful, digital communication can inevitably lead to detachment and despair: flat batteries, signal flaws, miscarried messages, mobile phones left behind, etc. These examples are as frequent as irritating and may put the stability of your relationship at risk. That’s why, you must always remain personal and encourage opportunities for face-to-face conversation so that the one you love feels understood and cared for.
Seizing all chances
It is essential to establish positive bonds with the people we love through different means. Some may prefer to hold hands and simply wander round a park, while others could choose eating out and having endless conversations over dinner.
Either on the phone, sitting side by side while driving, peacefully strolling on the beach or even walking your dog, simple occasions may open up a whole realm of communication lapses from which you and your partner will easily profit. Mutual understanding will pave the way for the pursuit of projects. Goals will be set in a state of common grounds that will entice how each person feels and increase his / her motivation.
We must give it more important to seek to understand ourselves, rather than to do it with our respective partners. In a relationship that we have with our partner it is better that we slow down for a while, and spend some time reflecting on our own needs and feelings
For you, in a way, to properly attune yourself to your needs and feelings, you should give more due attention to your bodily sensations. This allows you to identically identify what is happening to you internally so that you can express it openly to your partner. Anything however trivial or disturbing it may be worth mentioning, both you and your partner will benefit from it, and your partner will certainly thank you.
Understanding our partners requires a lot of patience on our part, requires that you do not express your opinion for an approximate range of time, without interrupting our partner, you have to be as if you are entirely in paused. You should give your partner all the attention that she or he deserves, do not interrupt him every moment to ask him or her some question that has begun to be formulated deep inside your mind while your partner has told you everything it needs to be told. It really costs a lot to dedicate to our significant other excessive attention, it requires a certain practice, yet it is extremely valuable, and you could consider it a kind of gift, a beautiful gift that you make to your partner: a gift that allows you to your partner be seen as they really are and for what they truly need.
It is never too late to start listening. Throughout long-term relationships, some people are constantly whining and will complain about everything related to their partner. This might shed light onto dissatisfaction or uneasiness for not being heard. When criticism sets its roots within two lovers, it is often hard to get over crisis and recover the fresher and simpler sensations of the old days. Needless to say, both the complained-about and the complainer suffer as the conflict becomes stronger.
We should be alert and keep in mind we must give a hearing to our partner showing that we respect his / her opinion and will endeavor to please them as much as we can. The exchange of personal points of view is nothing to fear, it can be nourished as a healthy habit so as to mutually collaborate and improve the quality of the relationship.
You have to pick the right time to talk to your partner
Sometimes you need to be listened to when you want to express something that troubles you. But maybe your partner can be busy with something else at the moment, such as: Watching the game, cooking dinner, trying to sleep, any work that you brought to your home, or simply not in the right frame of mind at that time. If you realize this, just be patient and shut up to tell your partner what you are worried about or at a later time. If it is something extremely important and you want to communicate it to your partner, you can ask: “Is there time available to be able to talk?” And depending on the response of your partner you can settle for the following two options. Talk about what is troubling you, or wait a reasonable time to do so. If you are the listener, no doubt your partner would appreciate the same.
The need to know your partner well
You must be observant and learn to know your partner in order to understand what you are trying to communicate. For this you need not only partially hear what your partner tells you, but develop a great listening ability for your partner. If what you do is usually just to hear, in reality what you are doing is worrying more about what happens inside you during the conversation, and what you are going to respond to. Instead, listening means caring about the person in front of you and trying to understand the situation that is happening. I assure you that developing the ability to listen is one of the best gifts you can give your partner.
The importance of showing empathy
It is important to give a sample of understanding to our partner, one has to get “deep inside the skin of the other” as it is said, doing this will be able to better understand the reasons behind our partner need to worry, what can really feel your partner, and the need to make your partner feel that we can take care of them and ourselves for that matter. It is not a question of wanting to take advantage of the weakness that our partner may feel, but to convey the message that one is able to put oneself in its place. So we will be generating in our partner empathy.
Avoid prejudging the message your partner is telling you
You should listen to what your partner wants to convey to you, without any interruption except for an important question or additional comment that has to do with the message you are letting him know. You should never interpret the message from “your” point of view, instead of the point of view that matters is that of your partner to let it know to you the message and therefore their point of view.
Don’t get carried away and don’t overreact
Either that which your partner is communicating is serious or you do not have to take into account how difficult it will doubtless have taken you to have gathered the courage to tell the message. You should be very clear about the perspective, that of your partner and yours; do not alter, you must be calm, you must let reason prevail over a fit of fury. You must speak in a softer tone, in a given case even loving and tender.
Author byline: Article written by Martin, who is owner and writer of his Dating Website (www.russia-girls.net). He believes that online dating is great for connecting people from the whole world using new technologies. He enjoys learning about human relationship to improve and share his knowledge about online relationships.