They say that when you’re single, the world is your oyster, and in many ways that’s true. There are plenty of advantages to being single, but at the end of the day, we’re all longing for that one person who will be everything. We want a friend, a confidant, a lover and someone around whom we can be our most authentic self. In today’s strange dating world you could be taking all the steps that seem right to you, but still fall short. Times have definitely changed, and in order to get to ‘the one’ there seem to be a lot more obstacles than before. Still, that’s not a reason to give up.
No, this is the time when you pick yourself up, even after the worst of experiences and try something new. You know the saying – you can’t do the same thing and expect different results. These five steps are probably something you haven’t tried before, and they are bound to get your love mojo back, whether you’re single and looking for love or already dating and searching for ways to improve a relationship.
The general rule of thumb is that relationships are about compromise, and there is great truth to that. One of the biggest mistakes people make comes as a result of misinterpretation of the concept. While you should do things for the other person that aren’t exactly your cup of tea, such as for instance going hiking even though you’re not exactly outdoorsy, there is a fine line between compromise and accepting things that truly bother you. Certain types of behavior are unacceptable, they’re what we call deal-breakers, and when these arise, you need to have an open conversation with the person you’re dating and express your feelings.
If they are worthy and willing to make an effort for the sake of the relationship, they will change these habits. If not, your frustration will continue to increase. Sometimes being smart is knowing when to call it quits. For those who are single – try to see the potential in someone, and don’t discard a possible relationship as soon as you notice one flaw.
When you look back at your dating record, do you sometimes get the feeling that you’ve been dating the same guy over and over again? We all have a pattern, and when picking a certain type of person is one of yours, you need to put an end to it. This is where doing the same thing and expecting the same results resonates most true. If things aren’t working out and you keep dating, it’s because you’re constantly choosing virtually the same guy, and that guy is not the one for you. Step out of your comfort zone and realize that you deserve better.
As an experiment, just once go out with someone completely different from your usual type, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how refreshing this change could be. This next person might not be the one, even though you might be insanely attracted to them. Always be aware of that there is a battle of lust vs. love going on, and try to keep your head above the clouds and not get swept up by the first. Dip your feet in the water, date several different types, and ultimately you’ll find the one that truly fits. There are many things one should compromise on, but the choice of partner is not one of them. Always know your worth and never settle for a treatment that leaves plenty to be desired.
People are quick to notice the shortcomings of others, but quite reluctant to accept and acknowledge their own. If you’re the kind of person who always claims to be right, and whatever goes sour is someone else’s fault, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and reexamine your own actions. Taking your share of the blame, whether for a bad date or a small fight that escalated, there are always two sides of the story. When in a fight, instead of instinctively placing the blame on the other person, step out of your body and listen to the words coming out of your own mouth and pay attention to your body language. Believe us, it takes two to tango.
You should never, ever stop improving yourself and lose sight of who you are. This isn’t only relevant for your love life, although it can be a great bonus. Never stop doing the things you love, chasing your passions, taking up hobbies – in short, never stop elevating yourself, culturally, spiritually, intellectually. Being the best possible version of yourself inevitably increases your sense of self-worth, and your positive and confident attitude as well as all the wonderful quirks and interests make you incredibly attractive. People pick up on that – the right people that is, so the more complete you are as a person, the more high-quality people you will attract. It applies to co-workers, friends and potential partners.
Never enter a relationship when you’re at your loneliest. That is when we are prone to accepting whatever little attention is given to us. Loneliness often leads to desperation, and that in turn can make you fall in the arms of a completely wrong person, simply because you needed a pair of hands to hold you. These kinds of relationships inevitably make you feel stuck and you end up resenting the person, thinking they’ve tricked you into being with them. Accept the loneliness, work on yourself, and when you realize that you want someone instead of desperately needing someone, you will be able to make much better choices.