The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Money talk is probably the last thing on your mind right after you get back from your honeymoon.
You might be thinking – you just got back from a romantic getaway with your spouse after your successful wedding that’s thoughtfully planned and splurged on. You’re not even done unboxing all of your wedding gifts. And now you’re going to talk about financial paperwork?
Well, sorry to say, but it’s got to be done. After all, money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Financial issues, no matter how daunting, should be discussed before they become bigger and more damaging in the relationship.
A blissful marriage isn’t measured on the number of date nights, romantic vacations, and lavish anniversary gifts. Couples who face financial hurdles together and overcome them together come out stronger than ever.
So if you’re ready to do some daunting financial tasks after the wedding, here are top 6 things you should do as a couple.
Have you decided to have a joint banking account and merge all of your finances for household spending? Or you want to keep your personal account? Or perhaps do both by having a shared account and a separate account for personal spending at the same time?
Whatever that is, make sure you’re both on the same track about this matter and do all the paperwork together.
Once you’re married, you should have each other’s names on all of your accounts. It’s also important to change your beneficiary information for those accounts: If it’s your first marriage your beneficiaries are likely your parents. If you’ve been married before, it’d be your ex.
Make sure to update it ASAP to avoid bigger and more expensive problems should anything bad happen to you.
“Til death do us part” or “Til debt do us part”?
Debt should be openly discussed and addressed as early as possible to avoid it to cause further damage to the relationship.
Get out the paperwork, provide copies of your own credit reports, look for the real bottom line, and deal with it. Debt catches up eventually – whether it’s the tax collector, your university, or creditor. One day, the terrifying details of the past will come creeping out when you’re trying to get a mortgage and other loans.
Not all money talk is bad. Some prudent men and women enter marriage with trust funds, investment accounts, real estate properties, and other significant assets. Your spouse should know what you have and what you can share unless you have a prenuptial agreement that excludes the spouse from any benefit. Again, beneficiary names should be updated.
Now that you’re married, looking at your paychecks and other income sources is just a right thing to do. You’re a team here, remember?
It’s crucial to determine your combined monthly income and how it’ll affect your spending and savings.
Make a detailed budget out of the combined list of all your monthly expenses: housing, utilities, internet, cable, phone, groceries, car payments, leisure, and other routine costs. Plan for payments on debts too. Last but not least, make sure to have a budget for unexpected expenses that may come up, like home repair and medical bills.
Odds are that, you’ve splurged on your wedding and your honeymoon. YYour first year together is the perfect time to recoup those losses and continue saving up for the future.
Don’t forget to feed your savings account – together. We can all agree that having a financial cushion for emergencies and retirement is a must.
You can fuel your savings by finding ways to be frugal. You may limit nights out and put your focus on groceries and rent. Be wise when going on vacations. Set limits for internet, cable, and electricity use. It’s more fun to celebrate your first year of marriage without overindulging.
Communication is key to a successful marriage, especially in terms of money. Couples who discuss money matters, set financial goals and help each other achieve them tend to be happier and healthier than those who don’t.
Take the time to sit down with your spouse to talk about money – your short-term and long-term goals and your plans to make these goals a reality. Discuss where you want to be in five years. Are you planning to build a business? Will you buy stocks or other investment vehicles? Will one or both of you work abroad? Do you have a plan to level up on your career?
Talk about money handling practices and expectations. Are you guilty of poor spending habits? Do you plan to quit certain expensive vices? How often do you plan to go on vacations?
Talk about future expenses that will eventually arrive, including children’s education, buying your first home, your first car, and the emergency and retirement funds.
I know these things may be too much to talk about, especially if you’re just starting your life together. However, it’s great to be open about these things and to know that you and your partner are on the same track.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. She may be hopeless romantic but she’s got some straightforward pieces of advice about love, dating, and relationships
Marriage is a rollercoaster. It provides happiness and escape from everyday life. It occasionally comes with a unique set of trials. And it is the perfect place to develop and hone leadership abilities.
This is because leadership and marriage have something in common – a partnership. One spouse can’t have a healthy marriage without the help of their partner. Similarly, leadership involves teamwork and cooperation in order to be successful.
Leadership can be used on various occasions throughout life. In marriage, business, or even simply coaching a sports team. Marriage impacts how a leader speaks to their team. It sets the tone for how much trust, consideration, and communication there is in interpersonal relationships.
Here are 7 ways marriage equips you to be a strong leader in your life.
In a healthy marriage, both partners learn how to listen to one another. Couples are happier when they feel they can speak their mind and that their partner is hearing them.
Partners must be empathetic when they listen. They pay attention to what emotion is coming forward and react accordingly. Part of listening also means not interrupting or overreacting, even when they feel like their partner is completely wrong or off-base about certain claims.
These positive qualities of listening are essential for a strong marriage. They are also helpful in developing good leadership habits.
Leaders must listen to their teams concerns and comments. They must be able to hear criticism without getting upset and show their team the respect of being uninterrupted. This will ultimately make the team stronger and more united.
The Australian Institute of Family Studies discusses eight characteristics of long-married couples. The long-term study on marriage found that some of the most important qualities in a lasting relationship are adaptability, enjoying each other’s company, and a balance of power.
This balance of power, or teamwork, is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage.
The study goes on to have partners cite reasons why they believe their marriages have been successful. Among the top reasons listed were agreement on goals and aims, treating a partner as a best friend, and being committed to making the marriage work.
Leaders must also be able to appreciate teamwork. Ego has no place in a team environment. It is only with the help and support of others that a leader is able to lead effectively.
Communication is the backbone of any good relationship. Couples communicate to get to know one another better. They also talk when they need comfort, forgiveness or fun. But, communicating is more than just talking.
Partners must be honest with one another about their thoughts and feelings. Communicating effectively means talking about a problem instead of attacking your spouse. It involves active listening and empathy.
Healthy communication can help resolve arguments and prevent misunderstandings from happening.
These are vital skills for those in positions of leadership. A leader must be able to understand their team, clients, and colleagues. Communicating will help make tasks and personal relationships a breeze.
Nobody gets married and then gets crowned the best husband/wife in the world the very next day. Learning about a partner takes time and patience. Couples must put in the effort to learn how to make their marriage work.
Partners should never feel too embarrassed to learn more about their spouse. They need to ask questions, make time for one another, and communicate regularly.
Leaders also learn to hone their craft. They learn about their team. They learn about their own strengths and weaknesses. And they look for opportunities to continue to grow and get better.
Nobody ever stops learning. Not married couples and not leaders.
Couples who are truly in love know the value of sharing their successes and celebrating each other’s victories.
Studies show that couples who celebrate successes together are more likely to associate their relationship with happiness and well-being. Couples who did not share their triumphs together were commonly quotes as relating their relationship as poor.
Positive emotional exchanges are an important and sometimes overlooked aspect of a healthy marriage. Partners love and appreciate when their spouse shows appreciation for their work and celebrates them achieving their goals.
Leaders should also celebrate the success of their team. Doing so creates personal connections and raises team morale.
Marriage is a wild ride that is full of ups and downs for every couple out there. There are times when being married will feel like winning the lottery every day. There will also be times where a husband or wife will question why walking down the aisle ever seemed like a good idea.
But those who are true to their marriage vows have one undeniable leadership skill. They never give up.
Couples who love each other work through their problems and vow to stay together through thick and thin. They address problems and talk to each other in order to keep their bond strong. Nothing will stand in the way of their marriage being a success.
Leaders have this same drive and passion when it comes to making their goals a reality.
A married couple is deeply in-tune with one another. This connection allows them to realize when something seems amiss in the relationship.
A leader must be able to follow their gut instincts. They must know when something seems off about their team. They should have a firm grasp on their goals and be attuned to their gut instincts. This will help them re-adjust personal relationships and goals for the greater good.
Many lessons learned through marriage can be applied to one’s personal and professional life. Teamwork is essential both in marriage and in running a business. It’s equally as important to know the strengths of yourself and your partner. Yes, marriage is the perfect place to learn such valuable leadership skills.
When it comes to dating, you should focus only on what would turn the other person on. Rather, think about the things that would turn the person off.
Major let-downs for women can range from superficial, such as physical features and hygiene, to absolutely offensive, like beliefs and manners.
If you’re a guy and is new to dating, here are 13 of the biggest deal breakers women share.
If you’re dishonest on the very first date, then there’s no way you’ll be asked for a second date. We all deserve truth and authenticity. Any kind of dishonesty, whether it’s as trivial as your favorite hobby or as extreme as your marital status, is an immediate red flag.
Women and men alike won’t be interested in someone who feels the need to misrepresent their age, height, marital status, occupation, financial stability, possessions, and vices.
If you’re always running late or can’t totally show up from time to time (even when you’re sending fresh, beautiful flowers) , your date may imply that you’re not serious, or worse, you’re self-centered. Time is precious, so wasting your date’s time repetitively is a strong signal for her to look elsewhere.
Nothing turns off a woman faster than a man who doesn’t even make an effort to look and smell decent and presentable.
Combed hair, clean, newly-laundered clothes, fresh breath and regularly brushed teeth, tidy nails, clean ears, washed hands, and pleasant (not even scented with expensive perfume) smell all over – are these too much to ask?
It’s not just a matter of being unpleasant. When a guy doesn’t seem to be taking care of himself, that could be a sign that he’s looking for someone to take care of him – and no, that shouldn’t be the woman’s problem.
There’s a fine line between being “carefree” and “lacking the ambition.” You don’t have to have big goals for yourself and for your future partner. However, you must have some goals and work to get close to that pursuit.
Being unemployed is a top deal breaker for women, especially if you’re still living in your mother’s nest. Not that most women can’t provide for themselves – unemployment implies you’re not where you want to be, thus are not stable both financially and emotionally.
Depending and living with your parents while in your 20s or 30s may suggest co-dependence, fear of commitment, and the lack of motivation and emotional maturity.
Smoking has long been considered as a major turn off, especially for non-smokers. But for some, dating a smoker is okay as long as the person is responsible enough to smoke in designated areas, control the intake, and work to curb the unpleasant effects like bad breath and smelly clothes and house.
The real problem occurs when the person has been addicted to smoking to the point it’s unbearable. Same goes with alcoholism, gambling, and drug abuse. Addiction affects not only the heart, lungs, and gut – it damages the mind, which can be a major relationship issue in the long run.
There are three types of men with poor communication skill;
One, the guy who nods at everything his date talks about, and answers only when asked. Two, the guy who doesn’t appear to be listening and fails to give feedback on what has talked about. Three, the guy who wants to talk about no one but himself and his greatness, disabling the date to speak up.
Isn’t it a bummer when you have spent hours to be presentable and your date has a divided attention because his phone is glued to his hand?
Smartphones kill genuine conversations – and relationships. When you’re on a date, gentlemen, it’s a no-brainer to free yourself from all your distractions. Forget checking e-mails, sports scores, or game night invites by your bros.
Excuse me? We’re not in the 1950s. If you throw these questions on the first date, then there’s no point in continuing.
There’s a fine line between expressing attraction and being pushy about sex. It’s all about the intention. Women looking for a serious relationship immediately back off when a man can’t shut up about how much he wants to “bed” her on the first date and it’s getting uncomfortable.
No woman can trust a guy whose IG feed is loaded with pictures of scantily clad party girls, vain gym mirror selfies, and photos of women he has dated in the past (or is currently dating).
Several children, multiple women, and complicated relationship or unfinished business with an ex – these are some of the “excess baggage” a man may have. To make it worse, some men with an excess baggage even negatively talk about their ex or children on the first date. These are deal-breakers since no person wants to be dragged into the unnecessary mess and drama.
A guy who is genuinely kind-hearted respects, not only his date but everyone in the room – including the servers and sanitary personnel. Experts agree: you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those in the service jobs.
Listen up: If the man yells and badmouths the restaurant staff, and is basically rude to other people, then it’s a red flag, revealing a preview of how he might treat the lady as they go on. Other red flags include road rage, failure to compromise several times, failure to accept blame, and manipulating behavior.
The first impression lasts, they say. But chances are, if a guy shows up with one or a few of these major turnoffs, he may not score a second or third date to redeem himself and score a potential good relationship with a great woman.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
Because Bouquets Are So Passé.
If you’re surprising your lover with flowers, chances are you’re going to grab a presentation-style bouquet, which is pre-selected in a flower shop or local supermarket. Presentation bouquets generally look like this: a bunch of flowers tied together and typically adorned with dry waxed paper or floral tissue, jutte fabrics, and mesh ribbons.
They are nice and convenient, but they can be, well, clichéd and predictable – especially if you’re giving it to a long-term spouse whom you’ve been giving bouquets for years.
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing sweeter than receiving a handheld bouquet filled with vibrant and freshly-picked flowers of your taste. But wouldn’t it be nicer to receive flowers that have a dash of creativity and personality into it?
If you’re sending flowers for your wife, girlfriend, or special someone but you want to elevate your usual handheld bouquet and give something unexpected, here are 10 wonderful ideas to keep in mind.
If your wife loves both tea and flowers, then an English country garden-inspired teapot full of blooms is the best way to go. A lovely arangement of roses, daisy, and poms in feminine pastel-hued pots would definitely brighten up their day.
For a rustic, “fresh from the garden” look, use rustic watering cans. The pale, timeworn look of watering cans add charm to the arrangement of vibrant blooms. You may also loop wire around the handle so it can be hung on the door for a beautiful display.
You may use the same approach for ceramic mugs, painted bottles, and vividly-colored jars.
Love metals and vintage prints? Your recipient would definitely love blooms in old, vintage canisters. They come in different designs, from old-fashioned floral patterns to 50s-inspired typography and poster signages. Even vintage soup and coffee tin canisters elevate your floral arrangement.
Forget conventional vases and put old lanterns to use. Antique lanterns make romantic flowers arrangements, like roses, baby breath, and foliage, even dreamier. They also make a nice centerpiece for one’s home.
If your recipient loves a wild arrangement of pretty pastel flowers, then wooden containers, like crates, would make perfect vessels. Aside from roses, flowers like hydrangeas, lisianthus, and snapdragons look stunning on crates.
Bouquets usually come with a box of chocolates and other confectioneries , but wouldn’t it be nice if you give something sweet but healthier? Pair your fresh blooms with sweet edibles, that are also freshly picked – fruits. Flowers and fruits go well with each other since they’re both vibrant plants. They also make great “get well soon” gifts for a lover or friend who needs healthy munchies to recover.
Who doesn’t love mini versions of anything? Be creative enough to turn smaller floral varieties into cute mini bouquets. You may scrimp on size but never on beauty, since they look lovely when attached to greeting cards and love letters for your special someone.
If you’re overly cheesy and romantic, you can never go wrong with the classic heart-shaped floral arrangement. A heart-shaped arrangement of roses, which may come in one solid color or multi-color, make a perfect gift for Valentine’s day, wedding anniversary, and your loved one’s birthday.
Giving a floral wreath is one splendid way to opt out of handheld bouquet without losing the sweet gesture of “giving flowers for your love.” Floral wreaths look amazing, whether they are in bold and vibrant hues or pretty pastel hues. For a more earthy appeal, use a grapevine wreath and adorn with your recipient’s favorite flowers. They make a lovely door and wall decoration.
Don’t throw your broken umbrella yet! You can fill it with your love’s favorite blooms, tie it with some pretty ribbons, and tada – you have a beautiful bouquet that looks quirky and out of the box! It’s multi-purpose too – you can use the handle for hanging the blooms and using it as a wall or door décor.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
Just because you’re not gifted with Hollywood-worthy facial features and strong and lean physique doesn’t mean you can’t be attractive.
In contrary to stereotypes, women are pretty much easy to please. There are certain masculine features that make us swoon, and chances are that most guys are unaware of them.
Having a fetish isn’t as bizarre as it may sound. Having a paraphilia – a physical object, role or thought that is the principal center of your sexual drive – can be somewhat invigorating and fun in the room. It doesn’t matter if you’re into straight, gay, bi, transgender dating or just want to meet online – fetishes can show up anywhere and under any conditions.
Some people develop fetishes at a very young age due to various causes, while others only figure out that they have a sexual paraphilia much later in life by accident. There are pretty simple and common ones, like fetishes that focus on body parts which already have established sexual attributes, and then there are rarer and more intriguing, such as fetishes that put odd things in a person’s sexual focus (feet, hair, nostrils, etc.).
Still, it’s by most considered as weird, freaky, even disgusting and sick for some unknown reason, even though it doesn’t have to be that way. For the most part, this is caused by prejudice and people’s fear of that which they do not understand or which they do not perceive as a part of everyday life – which fetishes totally are for some folk. In that name, here is our attempt at explaining the phenomenon that are fetishes by addressing the top 4 myths about fetishism.
Does having an interest make somebody debased? With respect to why that happens, hypotheses extend. One, clarified by therapist and sex scientist Justin Lehmiller, is established in traditional molding, whereby “to the extent that a specific object repeatedly appears just before we experience sexual arousal, we may eventually come to see that object as a cue for sexual arousal.” Another hypothesis is geographic, as the zone of our brains that control our sexual parts may cover or be firmly situated to another piece of the cerebrum — say, “the region that manages your feet.”
Once again, this myth can be attributed to the common misconception that just because something is “out of the box,” it automatically has to be freakish and bizarre. Surely, there are certain fetishes that can make others queasy, but that does not justify any prejudice which would mark fetishists as weirdos or perverts.
There is no such thing as a standard fetishist, as the obsession group is extraordinarily various — indeed, it’s not even a solitary group. “There are communities for foot fetishes, latex and rubber fetishists, chastity fetishists, lingerie fetishists, diaper fetishists, and myriad other specialized sexual interests,” sexologist Gloria Brame said.
Indeed, even inside individual interest groups, tastes can change, as a certain foot fetishist wrote in a 2014 Medium exposition: “It’s all a matter of taste, and like music, some fetishists have a narrow, refined taste while some guys don’t care if their girlfriend has hooves and sausage toes.”
Basically, this means that having a fetish isn’t a simple phenomenon in any way. As we’ve mentioned before, there are fetishes that focus on things that are already sexualized in general (and sometimes people don’t even know that they’re having a fetish), while on other occasions there are fetishes that are very specific and very out-of-the-ordinary. This all means that there’s no telling who can or cannot become a fetishist or who is or isn’t one already.
Yet another case misdefining something that has to be defined right in order to be understood.
As noted over, a fetish is frequently based on a physical object or particular activity. Kink, in the interim, is frequently used to depict any sexual practices that fall outside of the standard — however, there can be overlapping, making some perplexity even inside the group.
“I have always referred to my main kink, which is being spanked, and being submissive to my partner, as my fetishes,” Jessica Wakeman wrote for the Frisky in 2013. “Technically-speaking, however, my ‘spanking fetish’ and my ‘submission fetish’ are not fetishes.”
If we were to really get into the terminology here, we would have to separate spanking and submission from fetishism simply due to them belonging to two different groups. The first two are actually a part of a very complex sexual preference known widely as BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism), while for something to be described as a fetish, it needs to have a paraphilia, or in other words, an object or body part that would be in the center of a fetishist’s sexual focus.
Despite what might be expected, Internet people group propose that fetishists are all around, and they exist in huge numbers. Interpersonal organization FetLife alone has almost 4 million individuals.
“The Internet has been the single biggest boon to sexually unconventional hook-ups in human history,” Brame says “It has been demonstrated time and again that if you build a site for an interest you don’t think anyone in the world shares, within a few months you’ll have a bustling membership.”
If we’re being honest, weirder things than fetishists can be found on the web, and furthermore, it’s not really that hard finding them. Remember all those fetishes Gloria Brame mentioned earlier? Foot, latex and rubber, chastity, lingerie, diaper – all these fetishes and many more can be found all over the internet, from sites that deal with the social and sexual problems and dilemmas of fetishism to full-blown pornographic videos and live sex cams that revolve exclusively around fetishes.
When looking for the perfect ways to spice up a bland relationship, couples often turn to grand gestures. They go out and splurge on a fancy date at a steakhouse, travel out of town, and buy expensive things for their partner. We tend to forget that it is the smallest, simplest things that keep a relationship moving.
Oftentimes, you don’t have to go outside. Genuine and heartwarming gestures of love and affection are displayed at home
It doesn’t take that much amount of time, effort, and money to make your partner feel valued every day. To build a strong connection and bond that lasts, here are some expert tricks to fit into your routine.
Anyone who wants to meet people online should ask the college kids for help, right? Well, wrong. You’d be surprised to learn that college students are a lot more old-fashioned than modern technology and media would have us believe. Today, we take a closer look at how college students use dating apps, and how they prefer to find new dates.
According to a study which included 3,500 college students done by Abodo, the apartment hunting app, these kids might be online for the better part of their day, but still prefer to meet new people through traditional means. Of those who participated in the survey, only 4 percent said they liked to meet matches using dating apps. A total of 80 percent of survey participants said they liked to meet through mutual friends or shared interests, while some 15 percent said they preferred to leave things up to chance, and meet people when out and about.
These results look pretty old-fashioned, and certainly not what we expect to see. At the same time, college kids do use dating apps, but they don’t prefer to use them to date. Over 90 percent of respondents say they use Tinder and other apps for purposes other than to hook up with someone over the weekend. In other words, Tinder & Co have not led to a culture of endless hook-ups, as is the popular belief.
Those other purposes include entertainment, which is a response given by 35 percent of Tinder, Bumble and Grindr users. Also, 15 percent of women and 9 percent of men said they used the apps for an ego boost, and the rest of the respondents said they used dating apps to find friends, although the term “friend” wasn’t clearly defined.
In terms of dating apps that surveyed college students used, 85 percent said they preferred Tinder, 17 percent said Bumble was their first choice, and OKCupid came in first for almost 9 percent of the respondents.
In practical terms, these results suggest that college kids live in a structured social environment that seems to present plenty of opportunity to meet people organically, without having to enlist the help of technology. When we take the size of campuses into account, it actually makes sense that they build their romantic lives in the offline world.
At the same time, their habits are likely to change when they graduate and enter the workforce where they won’t have as much time to socialize, and are expected to lean on dating apps much more to find suitable partners.
When it comes to Tinder influencing the dating habits of college students, this survey suggests Tinder is most often used out of boredom, not to cure loneliness or find a date for the upcoming weekend. This is not to say college kids aren’t dating as crazy, but they sure don’t depend on their phones to connect them with potential partners.
Do you believe in the saying, “love is lovelier the second time around?”
Taking the cheesy, hopeless romantic statement aside, getting back with a former lover isn’t a piece of cake. The word “ex” often gets a bad rap. The two of you broke up for a reason, and you fear the possibilities of falling back into old habits and circumstances that didn’t work in the first place. You worry about how your friends and family would react. You’re afraid of being hurt again by the same person you tried to move on from.
But former sweethearts come in different forms. We all have those exes who made our life miserable and we’re good with never seeing them again. On the other hand, there are the ones who you’d be willing to befriend and rekindle with again if the time was right.
If you happen to reunite with someone special from the past and you’re contemplating whether to give it another shot or not, check out these things to see if your relationship is worth the second chance.
1. You had a clean break
You’ve been with this person for three years but due to several circumstances, you felt like it would be better to end the relationship. While it’s tempting to keep in touch with this person and replace the romantic relationship with friendship immediately, it wouldn’t be the best thing to do. The essence of ending a relationship is to grow apart.
Time heals, right?
Give it time. It would be better if you have spent a lot of months or years apart with no intention of future reconciliation. Have you cut off your contact after the breakup? Did you unfriend, unfollow, or block your ex so you can spend the time growing individually? Have you had the taste of life on your own? Did you do some soul searching?
After some time away from the person, you’ll have a clearer pair of eyes to figure out what’s best for you. By the time you reunite, you have a lot of new insights and discoveries about life and yourself, which you can apply on your fresh start.
2. You’re willing to start anew
Start from the start. Isn’t it nice to experience that “getting to know” stage all over again?
Sure, you are in love with the same person. But you’re living a different timeline now. You probably have a new circle of friends. Your career statuses have changed. You have new hobbies and interests to talk about. Your perspectives have evolved too. There are a lot of things to be discovered.
Okay, don’t fool yourselves that you’re “strangers again.” You’re not. The fact that you have a shared history will never disappear. Talking about things from the past is inevitable. But the point now is you have grown separately and you have learned from your previous mistakes. After growing apart, you tend to forget the petty things you fought about. You are restarting with a clean slate and healthier habits.
3. Your past relationship wasn’t a toxic one
Not all exes are the same. There are good exes and there are bad exes. The good exes are the ones whom you can totally relate to. You shared the same interests and you treated each other with compassion, trust, loyalty, and respect. It’s just that you realized you’re no good as a couple.
On the other hand, there are those exes who ruined you. They brought out the worst in you. They abused you physically and/or emotionally. And you got a sigh of relief when you two broke up.
For sure, you don’t want to get back with or even be friends with the latter.
4. The reason for why you broke up is fixable
Perhaps you broke up 5 years ago because of long distance relationship and this time, you’re residing in the same city. Or maybe one’s hectic schedule drew you apart but you’re in a more relaxed state now. Maybe you were just kids when you fell in love and you’ve grown older and wiser now.
If the reason the two of you broke up is no longer a problem anymore, then it’s okay to give it a second chance.
5. You have forgiven each other
It’s a must to seek forgiveness and accept one’s apology. Whether you admit it or not, your relationship is not normal. You’re unlike other brand new couples. You have a heavier baggage, so eliminate that massive burden from your chest.
6. You have let go of the grudges
If you’re thinking of getting back together, make sure you don’t carry the grudges from the past relationship to this new one. When you decide to open up your heart again to your past lover and forgive him/her, you accept to let go of the hurt and resentment so you can finally start over again. Avoid digging and bringing up old issues. Avoid making the other feel guilty about the past. Letting go is your sole ticket to happiness.
7. You understand each other now more deeply
Going back five years ago, you seemed to be living in an entirely different planet. You didn’t like the same things. Your ideas used to clash and every conversation wasn’t healthy.
Aside from healing wounds, time also changes people. Now, you discover that your needs, expectations, and goals have changed and these are aligned with your ex’s. You get along now more than ever. When you understand each other more deeply, you can love each other more deeply as well than you ever did before.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting.
Married sex should be anything but boring. The longer you spend together as a couple the more you get to know each other emotionally and physically.
As long-term partners, you get to learn each other’s likes and dislikes, kinks and turn-offs, and have years’ worth of practice to make sure you’re both satisfied by the end of your romp. Truly, your sex life should actually be better the longer you’re together – not worse.
Still, if emotional intimacy in marriage is lacking, it can create problems in the bedroom. Your sex life should be fun and satisfying, not predictable and dull. Whether you’re bored in bed or are just looking to add a little spice to your sex life, look no further. Here are 8 tips for making your sex life even sexier.
As long-term partners, all you and your spouse have to do to get the message across that you’re in the mood is make some simple eye-contact. Convenient? Yes. Romantic? Hardly.
There are charms to the occasional quickie, but when is the last time you and your spouse worked on seducing one another? One of the best things about getting married is that having sex is basically a given, but that doesn’t mean you should stop putting effort into the seduction process.
Stimulate your partner by setting the mood for lovemaking. Put on your favorite bedroom music, light some candles, and give each other massages. These things will stimulate sexual chemistry and make the payoff that much more exhilarating.
It’s time to get your acting chops ready, because you’re about to add a little drama into your sex life. One great way to spice up your sex is through a little harmless roleplay.
Roleplaying is great for boosting intimacy in marriage and your libidos since it allows you to stretch your creative muscles and act out dirty fantasies without actually putting yourself into danger.
Your imagination is often the key to a better sex life, so why not pretend to be someone else for a night and go wild? Pretend to be a student and teacher, pirate and wench, secretary and boss, dirty massage parlor, maid and boss, fake “hate sex”. Whatever your thrill, add it to the list of sexy roleplaying ideas you want to try.
Want to know how to spice up your sex life? Get creative.
Erotica is a great way to bring something new into the bedroom. Reading erotic stories to one another is a great start. Find a story that contains a fantasy you’re both curious about and take turns reading it to each other. Incorporate your naughty story as a regular part of foreplay and switch up the fantasies every once and a while.
Not only will this turn you both on, but the stories will also give you ideas for great role plays or new sex positions to try.
Another great way to get creative in bed is to experiment with sex toys. These are designed, not to replace your partner, but to enhance the sex you’re already having.
It is thought that roughly 53% of women own a vibrator. This is not surprising, considering women are more likely to achieve orgasm during intercourse when adding a vibrating companion into the mix.
Don’t think that sex toys are just for her. There are plenty of other toys and additives you can incorporate into your sex life that will please both partners. Flavored or sensational lubricants, vibrating cock rings, dual stimulators, handcuffs, whips, ticklers, and orgasm gel are all great additions to your bedroom antics.
Communication is key for any healthy relationship, and that includes talking about all things sex-related. When you talk to your partner about your desires, you build intimacy in marriage that teaches you both how to please one another.
Talk about what you like in bed, share your deepest fantasies, or do a sexy show-and-tell, talking them through the things you love while you’re actually in the act together. This fun instruction doubles as sexy dirty talk and is fun for both partners.
Routines in the bedroom can be nice. They help keep you focused and organized, are likely to get the orgasm every time. But, routines can also be monotonous.
Fight the bedroom boredom blues by mixing up your routine with new positions. Grab a book of sex positions and endeavor to try a new one each week. This is a great way to bond with your spouse while giving each other something new to look forward to.
You can also break your routine by taking sex out of the bedroom. Try fooling around somewhere new like on the couch, the kitchen table, or sit on the same side of the booth the next time you head out for a drink together and use some discreet handplay under the table.
Lingerie is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. For him, lingerie is a sexy way to be visually seduced by his partner. For her, wearing a lacy, silky garment that’s designed specifically to make her feel sexy and desirable is a huge ego-boost.
When you have self-confidence you’re more able to let go of your inhibitions in the bedroom. You can choose lingerie as tasteful, kinky, or risque as you are comfortable with.
So long what you’re wearing makes you feel hot and confident, it’s a winner. The bottom line is when you look good, you feel good, and feeling confident in the bedroom is one of the quickest ways to skyrocket your sex life.
Don’t let a long-term relationship be your excuse for a boring sex life. By setting the mood, building up your body confidence, fostering emotional intimacy, getting creative, and taking your time in bed, you and your spouse are sure to have a sex life that is anything but boring.