15 ways to bring your first date to ruin

The night is still young, you walk in and see the beautiful lady you have been texting for the longest time. It was just the other day that you decided to meet up for a first date. Everything seems blurry to you. This is all new, considering you have been experiencing the longest dry-spell in the history of dry spells. This is definitely a make or break moment for you. The first date either leads to the next or you going back to your ex asking what you did wrong again. It is an avenue to open up to each other, and if you play your cards right, you might actually seal the deal. In order to pull this off, attention to details is key. You must pull off the macho man/girl persona, create an impression that won’t be easy to forget. In today’s world, there exist no rules when it comes to the first date. Everything and anything can be considered relative. With such conditions existing, anything can go wrong at any time, but heed my wisdom, and the night will sail through smoothly.

  1. Prepare for Nothing While Expecting Everything. Be prepared! First dates can be nerve-racking, but with adequate preparation, you will come out on top. Preparation does not involve googling “how to.” All you need to know are her interests, her preferences, does she drink? Is she a vegan? The list is endless. You don’t want to be in an all meat joint, yet she has staunch beliefs against consumption of flesh. That immediately is a deal-breaker.
  2. Keep Time. If there is anything I have learnt in my few years of dating, it’s if you can’t be on time, be early. Tardiness is the first signal when it comes to figuring out a person. The moment you start getting texts and phone calls asking where you are, is the moment the date takes a first dive. When it comes to first dates, the only acceptable excuse when you end up late is that you died, and hence could not make it at the agreed upon time.
  3. Talking too much. I do want to know you better. But in all fairness, bombarding me with details and facts about yourself and your experiences will only seem like you are a self-obsessed and obnoxious person. I will barely find any space in between your life narration to tell you more about myself or react to what you are saying. It should be a conversation and therefore when it comes to first dates, everyone should at least get the opportunity to say something.
  4. Bringing up Past Relationships. Sometimes you get the urge to talk about how your ex was pretty awesome yet a tiny devil at the same time. It is not entirely wrong to delve into this topic. My advice would be to tread softly because when it comes to past love, you might spew out everything, leaving nothing to speculation whatsoever. This consequently will lead to your date being self-conscious or listening to the history of someone who might end up being their competitor in the unprecedented future.
  5. Concentrating on your Phone. When you make a full-grown person dress up and get all excited about meeting you, at the very least, make it worth their while. The more you concentrate on your phone, the more your date gets pissed off. This beautiful being can be sitting in front of you, yet you barely notice them because Instagram has all of a sudden become more engrossing.
  6. Eating hurriedly or too slow. Though grossly overlooked, your eating behavior is quite important when it comes to first dates. You do not want to be eating all night while she is busy trying to tell you something. You might end up putting your manners aside, which is quite unpleasant. Try as much as possible to maintain the same pace with your date.
  7. Insinuate Sex. Truth be told, changing trends might leave you clueless on what to expect on the first date. The television is the biggest liar when it comes to sex and first dates. Some get lucky, while the vast majority do not. Thus, always have an open mind with realistic expectations. Letting things flow naturally is the best way to go about it.
  8. Not Minding Personal Space. The more comfortable you get, the higher your chances of accidentally stepping on her toes are. Once can be accepted, but when you are constantly apologizing for consistently crushing her toes with your foot, your date is turning sour. Be certain not to intrude on his/her personal space.
  9. Turning up Drunk. You decide to take one for the road, to ease you up and calm you down. Sounds like a good idea at first, but one is never enough. Liquid courage is never accepted on the first date. It is always a turnoff when you reek of alcohol.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
  10. Being Nervous. Nervousness is never anticipated. It happens more times than not. But in such a graceful occasion, you need to bring out the big guns! Try as much as possible and be yourself. Everyone likes a confident, calm and collected individual. You therefore have to keep your nerves.
  11. Lack of Proper Dress Code. The theme of the date defines everything. Being overdressed or under-dressed might ruin the date. Depending on the set-up of the venue, decide conscientiously on what to wear. Make sure to always look good at all times.
  12. Last Minute Cancellation. This is obviously unacceptable when it comes to first dates. Have a clear and open schedule that day. Prepare for any unforeseen circumstances. If anything arises, ensure you either postpone it or delegate it to someone else. Simply make sure you have made it to the venue. If something inevitable occurs, rescheduling the date may be prudent. But this should be done at least 4 hours earlier.
  13. Ignoring Common Courtesy. Common courtesy suggests the guy covers the bill. This is one unspoken rule. The only loophole to this rule is when the lady suggests she cover the whole bill or her personal bill. In such instances, a gentleman would insist he pays but should ensure he isn’t being headstrong. If she insists, let her have her way.
  14. Asking Weird Questions. When it comes to first dates, conversation is key. Any wrong or misplaced word may render the date ruined, and therefore you need to pay attention to the nitty-gritty details. There are several awkward questions to ask a girl – avoid them. These are landmines you should not venture to. Questions on weight, sex partners or surgeries she’s had. This list is endless. Simply play safe.
  15. Ignoring your Date’s Cues. They say actions speak louder than words for a reason. Your date may express indirectly that she might be uncomfortable or needs to go. Blatantly ignoring these subtle but serious suggestions may prove detrimental and might cost you a next date.

It is never rocket-science when it comes to the first date, even though it seems so. The best advice you can get is to try as much as possible and be yourself. Break the ice while being mindful of the others contribution, in order to make your first date a success.

About the Author Susy Richards

Susy Richards is a lovely mother of 3 girls (3 years, 4 years and 5) and a simple woman who is ready to share her priceless experience with other mommies around the world. She is an Advanced Practice Provider who passed birth doula and postpartum doula courses at Childbirth International in 2013. Susy is passionate about providing holistic care and is involved in pregnancy research currently publishing her articles concerning pregnancy on site rocketparents.com

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