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11 Common Dating Dilemmas and How to Fix Them
I wouldn’t necessarily think of the word “easy” when it comes to dating. Sure it’s thrilling and fun. But, it can be be confusing, complicated, and really, a rollercoaster of emotions. There are many common dating dilemmas that can happen while you’re single and looking. And, it’s better to be prepared and know how to handle these situations, then act like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Dating is a time where you are getting to know other people as potential mates, but more importantly – you are getting to know yourself. You are figuring out what you are like as a dater, want you want out a dating in general and a relationship, and what you like and dislike. Spoiler alert – there is going to be a good amount of dislike. So, it’s better to know that prior to entering the world of dating. Set your expectations. Go into it focused on learning more about your dating wants and needs. And takes in these moments of meeting other individuals and learning from them, even if it’s just over dinner and drinks. The most important thing is that you are ready to be in the dating scene and you’ve worked on yourself and your own self-love. Because if certain dating dilemmas do arise, you’ll be able to handle them as if they were no big thang.
Here are the common dating dilemmas to prepare yourself for…
1. Can’t Meet Anyone
The number one thing I hear most from people is that they aren’t dating because they aren’t meeting anyone they want to date. Sure, that is probably the case if you live in a town a population of 30. You can’t blame a lackluster dating life on your city if you aren’t putting yourself out there enough. You won’t meet anyone if you follow you routine of waking up, going to work, going to the gym and then going home. Change it up and go to new places and try new things and watch your circle of people grow, and hopefully your love life.
2. Overwhelmed By Too Many Potential Matches
Usually when you enter into the world of online dating sites or dating apps, you end up chatting with many potential matches. However, with a couple more swipes you have somehow managed to set up three dinner dates for next week, two coffee dates, and one just drinks. Now all of your admirers are texting you and you can’t keep them straight. To fix this, it’s best to slow down. Instead of signing up for every online dating account, pick the best site/app for your dating needs. The team at Reviews.com, who recently researched 68 online dating sites, suggests to get the best results, “sign up for one of the big four sites and a smaller, targeted site too.”
3. Aren’t Digging the People You Are Meeting
Dating is a numbers game, and sometimes the odds aren’t always in your favor. If you start to feel like each first date is a total bummer, then it might be time to question things. It’s easy to blame the other person for a bad date, but if it’s continuously happening you need to look for any red flags prior to meeting another person. Are you talking on the phone with them beforehand? Do you have a good idea of the kind of person you are going to meet? If you aren’t putting much thought into a person before your date, then you get what you give. Start realizing that your time is precious, and so are you.
4. Expectations Are Different
So, you’re dating and you keep ending up with people that want completely different things out of a relationship than what you want. Uh oh. Ignorance isn’t bliss. Ignorance about another person’s dating expectations might be bliss for a couple of months, but then it quickly turns. Instead, put things out on the table and be upfront about what you want. Just want to have a friend with benefits? Perfect, just say that! Looking for a long-term relationship that will hopefully lead to marriage? Great – let that be known! No use hiding what will eventually be known down the road anyways.
5. Moving Too Fast
You start dating someone and you’ve realized it’s moving way too fast the moment your partner asks you to meet his or her parents. If things aren’t going at a speed you like, hit the brakes. The good news is that you can always change up your dating pace. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you want to move slower, speak up and share that with the person you are dating.
6. Being Ghosted By Someone You Like
Being ghosted never feels good, especially if it’s by someone you are digging. Instead of texting and calling more pretending like you don’t know what’s going on, face it head on like an adult. Either realize you are being ghosted and you don’t deserve to be treated like that and move on. (Easier said than done, I know) Or, directly ask the person you like “what’s up?”. Direct communication cuts directly through any dating game bullshit.
7. Can’t Afford To Go On So Many Dates
Dating can be expensive, especially if you’re often footing the bill. Well I’ve got good new for you, dinner dates and lunches are so last year. Change it up and take your date out to something different, and cheaper. Haven’t you ever heard of a romantic walk in the park? Or a picnic? Take your date to a museum and show off your intellectual and artsy side. Think outside the box, and think outside your wallet.
8. Friends Keep Setting You Up
How lovely when your friends set you up, huh? Well, not exactly if they keep setting you up with people who are obviously not your type. Now brace yourself for awkwardness every time you see them at future gatherings. Instead of accepting a date just to be nice, simple tell your friends “thanks, but no thanks.” Tell them you’ve taking a dating hiatus and that should get them off your back for at least a little while.
9. Not Into Someone You Started Dating
It’s bound to happen. Someone is going to like you more than you like him or her. Do yourself and the other person a HUGE favor and be upfront and honest. As much as it’s hard to tell someone you’re just not that into him/her, it’s respectable. You will be saving both of you a lot of time and energy – trust.
10. Unsure When To Get Intimate
I hear this question all the time. When it is “okay” to sleep with someone you’re dating? The real answer is there is no answer to that question. It all depends on you. Of course, you can act on the attraction between you, whether that’s naturally or by wearing pheromones perfume to heighten this, whenever you wish. However, there is something you should always follow. Becoming intimate with someone should be entirely up to you and what you want, not about pleasing the other person. Furthermore, always be safe about it. Other than that, you can get down and dirty with someone whenever you damn well please.
11. Too Busy To Date
Dating does take up a lot of time. It can start to feel like a part-time job, so I get it. However, saying that you are “too busy to date” doesn’t exactly fly with me. If you want to open up your life to someone else, you are going to have to make time. You can fit in a couple hours a week to meet someone. Set a date around your schedule, making it easier for you. Only got an hour at lunch? That will do! Make a little bit of time and you’ll see a bigger payout.
Sara Altschule
