Bible – the word of God say that is not good for man to be alone and in the same way, it is not good for woman to be alone. God has a good plan for every creature whether man or woman. Don’t let your heart be troubled; it is God’s will to bless your marriage, so all you need is to walk into the plan of God for your marriage. I believe you are dreaming of a fulfilled marital life and that is one of the reasons you are reading up to this moment. Read my friend, God will surely make your dreams come true. God will also help you to have a peace-filled home here on earth. Are you willing to avoid the mistakes of so many people in the past, if yes then consider the following points below:-
Marriage is not meant for the boys. If you truly want to successful in your marriage, you must be matured both emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually and otherwise.
A man or woman must be emotionally matured before entering into marriage relationship. You may be in a distant relationship and often times, your lover admire you with all sweet words to keep the relationship going. Intending couples also seek opportunities to meet to sing each other love songs. It was so for a young man who was in a courtship with a young lady. As soon as the wedding is over, he sat his wife down and made her realize that marriage is not just about emotional but a reality. He told her, When you were far from me, you could like my facial appearance or the sound of my voice, but now you are very close, you will equally perceive my mouth odour. These simply imply that one must be emotionally matured and prepared to face realities of life in marriage.
A story was told of a young man who approached his Dad and informed him of his intention to get married, the wanted to prove his state of maturity and gave him a pet to train. Few weeks later, his father inquired from him the whereabouts of the pet and he replied: The pet made me angry and I kicked it away. His father replied and said to him, you are yet not matured for marriage.
Marriage requires a lot of patience and tolerance, but these qualities can only be found in a matured person. Emotional maturity is the maturity of the mind to handle whatever situations that may arise tomorrow. Marriage is a union of two imperfect persons and without compromise from both; two imperfect objects can never blend to become a perfect entity. It therefore requires emotional maturity to blend. Are you emotionally matured? Then go ahead and search for your life partner.
The number of degrees you have acquired do not guarantee that you are prepared or matured. There are those who are matured in age but are still not emotionally matured. You need to get emotionally matured to enter into marriage. If you must achieve emotional maturity, the following is necessary:
(a) Take time to read books on marriage
(b) Attend workshops meant to prepare people for marriage
(c) Listens to tape
(d) Let people who are experienced in marriage share their experience with you.
In African setting for instance, 16 and 14 years of age may not apply in many cultures when it comes to marriage. Tribes and language have a certain age in life when a man is said to be matured.
Emotional maturity can as well be acquired by reason of maturity in age. There is no doubt that an adult has a more stable emotion than a child.
There is also the need for economic/financial maturity before one should consider going into marriage. Marriage is associated with so many financial responsibility, ranging from the provision of food, clothes and shelter to the up bring of children and fulfillment of social responsibilities. However a man must not be living in abundance before he could seek for a life partner, but it is important that any man who intends to marry must at least be able to feed himself. If you cannot feed yourself, you may not be able to feed your wife.
The man who intends to marry must be able to take care of himself and should as well be prepared to take care of his wife and children. Marriage requires financial maturity; this does not mean to swim in wealth or count in millions but at least, must have a point of interest; a job and future. He must have something doing. A man who has no job should not seek to marry. If you have handwork, then there is hope. In terms f maturity in the economic aspect, a man should have something doing and should be equally be ready to face financial challenges.
It is considerably good for a man to at least be able to provide shelter, that is, he should have a house or have the capacity to build one. It I not mandatory that a man must own a house to marry, no but a least a man should be able to afford his rents and as well, work hard to own his own house. Marriage responsibilities involves children upbringing so a man intending to get married should lay a foundation so as to be able to cater for his children.
There is also the need for spiritual maturity. When you get married you are spiritually united with your partner. Marriage is a union of two imperfect persons who come to be together and to tolerate each other. But these things are not just accomplished humanly; a man and a woman need spiritual potentials for marriage. Marriage responsibility is not just social, it is not just economic, it is more spiritual than ever; for instance, when a man marries a woman, he becomes the spiritual head of the woman, and the father and mother become the spiritual heads of their children.
So, there is the need for spiritual preparation, there is need for spiritual maturity as a man intends to begin a search for his life partner. You must be spiritual matured to stand the challenges of marriage – For example the story of Joe and his wife I shared earlier.
When you feel that these are in place, then commit yourself to Dating
You should not make any mistake about it, you need to spend yourself in dating; treat your search for spouse the same way you would your search for a dream home. Know what you are in search for. But not withstanding, keep God in fore-front, He knows the best for you more than you do.
Also surround yourself with positive dating and marriage mentors who will inspire and advise you. Be sure to stay away from sex before marriage – sex before marriage make some truth hidden about your spouse to be and above all it is breaking of the sixth commandment of God.