The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
People hearing those professionals who frequently travel for business reasons have a lot of assumptions. These range from the hotel they are staying in, the leisure they are getting aside from the intended business purpose to the overall “vacation” experience. In this article, we will list down the seven most common stereotypes made about them.
Maybe you have friends posting on social media about their business trips. The backgrounds, if you notice, would mostly consist of the touristy places that everyone raves about in the country. Seeing these photos and status messages about famous landmarks makes one envious. However, this must not mean that the person traveling for business has a lot of time for leisure. In fact, there are only a handful of places that are visited while the remaining majority has to be spent working with clients or training with colleagues. The time designated for leisure and fun during these trips is so minimal that the person just could not help but share about “good times” before they are over.
When visiting a foreign country, the tendency for regular travellers is to like the feeling and idea of wandering around the place so much so that they want to stay there for more. Some people would not want to leave anymore, especially in countries in Europe. However, the reality for frequent business travellers is that the feeling is quite the opposite. Since they are traveling for business or work, the place must evoke a sense of pressure and stress to them. The area of travel is much remembered as where they should accomplish all their tasks before coming home.
Meeting with clients and vendors may allow them to dine in at posh restaurants and hotels, but this is not happening all the time. Companies which send out people for business or work reasons often set a budget for travel. In most cases, the budget cannot be stretched out further to accommodate dining to fancy and high-star restaurants. Frequent business travellers would save money as they are given only a limited amount of it. Also, they would have to report their expenses as they go back. As long as they are able to feed themselves, a decent canteen or food court may do just fine.
People may think that when hopping from one country to another, frequent business travellers learn more cultures of ethnicities and different nations. But this is not entirely true. Since most time is devoted to the real purpose of the trip which is either work or serious business, communicating with locals and sharing cultures is not the focus. With the finite time they are present, rubbing elbows with them during meeting may be their only chance to share some personal stuff about themselves.
Many assume that business travellers ride on nice cars all the time to impress clients and business folks. Instead of riding taxicabs, renting private cars or hiring a driver or chaperone to guide them in the travel, frequent business travellers would have more experiences and ideas to get them to places on their own. Commuting via public transportation is most ideal.
Airports are not a really good place to stay for long. Although they are equipped with nice lounge areas and reception areas, shopping stalls and dining establishments, travellers waiting for their flights feel bored, too. Frequent business travellers are already tired of having to fly from one country to another and they must also be tired worrying about luggage apart from keeping themselves safe while abroad. The least they want to experience is to be on a hospital bed after being severely stressed or badly injured.
People back home almost always expect their friend or family who are traveling even for business cause to get them unique things or souvenirs. Even if the traveler has gone to the country many times, they also feel guilty when returning to their home country without buying anything as a gift and remembrance. Frequent business travellers cannot afford to go glamorous shopping. Rather, these souvenir items are purchased mostly at the last minute—when they are in the airport or when they happen to stop by at a dainty shop before going to a meeting.
Fancy dining, staying in at enormous and classy hotels and finding luxury are all common stereotypes that are linked to frequent business travellers. The reality is that with the limited budget they are provided with, they prefer to channel their resources to make themselves just safe and comfortable while in another place.
Danielle Santiago is a freelance photographer with a marketing diploma. On her spare time, she enjoys reading the Russian Classics and Fitzgerald’s flapper girls. 3 Personality Tests testify that she is a sanguine spirit. This has enormously helped girls to be in total ease and comfort as they journey to find their inner and outer beauty with Danielle as their boudoir photographer. A little old fashioned, Danielle is a strong advocate of killing television and other virtual distractions – nothing beats a walk in the park! Follow her on Twitter and Google+.
A recent study by a team of Brazilian researchers has confirmed that babies breastfed by their mothers for up to a year have a higher Intelligent Quotient (IQ) than others, even up to adulthood.
The study was carried out on about 6,000 children in Pelotas, Brazil and the participants were followed up to their adulthood at the age of 30.
Information was gathered from about 3,500 participants who went through an IQ test and it was discovered that longer breast feeding resulted in higher intelligence, longer schooling and higher earnings.
An infant who had been breastfed for at least a year gained a full four IQ points (about a third of standard deviation above the average), and a higher income. EurekAlert, a global source for science news quoted Bernardo Lessa Horta, a doctor and lead author of the research, as saying one of the benefits of breast milk is the presence of long-chain saturated fatty acids (DHAs).
“The likely mechanism underlying the beneficial effects of breast milk on intelligence is the presence of long-chain saturated fatty acids (DHAs) found in breast milk, which are essential for brain development,” Horta said. “Our finding that predominant breastfeeding is positively related to IQ in adulthood also suggests that the amount of milk consumed plays a role.”
During the study, factors considered to determine the benefits of breast feeding include duration of breast feeding, family income at birth, parental schooling, genomic ancestry, maternal smoking during pregnancy and maternal age. The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends up to six months of exclusive breastfeeding, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.
Also, it recommends that the colostrum – the yellowish, sticky breast milk produced at the end of pregnancy – is a perfect food for the newborn, and feeding should be initiated within the first hour after birth.
The long-breastfeeding-for-babies campaign looks to be gaining increasing popularity among women.
During a personal interaction with two mothers who were on a visit to a first-time nursing mother, the two mothers both advised their counterpart to breast feed her baby for at least a year and the half, that is 18 months, saying that longer breast feeding would increase the child’s intelligence and academic performance.
Both gave examples of their own long breastfeeding regime and its role in the positive academic performances of their children.
Therefore, more women must know that it is not in their interest for their babies to have their breasts for anything less than a year.
With work commitments, busy social lives, and kids running around the place, many of us don’t get to spend as much quality time with our other halves as we’d like – that’s why taking a romantic getaway, just the two of you, is so important for relationships. Whether it’s a well planned out foreign holiday or a spontaneous weekend trip, romantic getaways can help reignite that spark, and they can also be great for new couples who want to discover more about each other. Take a look at our handy guide, which will help you plan and prepare a perfect romantic getaway that’s straight from the movies:
Deciding on a location and hotel for your loved up holiday can be tricky – there are so many places you might choose for your intimate getaway. Paris, of course, is considered to be the romance capital of the world, but there are plenty of other romantic destinations to consider – a long weekend in New York City, a sunny beach break in Spain and, believe it or not, there are plenty of romantic destinations in the UK, too! The Lake District, Cornwall, and the Cotswolds have been voted some of the most romantic destinations in the UK, perfect for couples looking to spend some relaxing quality time together without the kids, or for new couples wanting to get to know each other better. Look out for all inclusive holidays, where food, drinks, and activities are all a part of the deal, are also great choices, offering the ultimate in indulgence.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of your upcoming trip, but don’t forget to keep at least one foot firmly on the floor – while you may have butterflies floating around your tummy, there’s still housework that needs to be done. If you’re rushing out the door on Friday evening after work it’s very tempting to leave the dirty dishes and the smelly laundry until you come back – we’ve all done it – but walking into a messy, dirty house is a real buzzkill after such a romantic, chilled out getaway. Taking just a bit of time to get things straight at home can make a huge difference. You don’t need to spend hours making everything spotless, but there are plenty of housekeeping tips for your holidays available to help you clear up fast before you go. Your future self will thank you!
One of the last things to do before heading off on your relaxing holiday with your loved one is pack for the occasion. You’ll want to make sure that you have all the travel essentials, plus a few little extras that you wouldn’t normally take on a regular sightseeing trip. Romantic music to help set the mood is an absolute must, along with candles (or LED candles if you’ve decided to go glamping – you don’t want to set the tent on fire!), some fragrant massage oil, and a few aphrodisiac snacks like chocolate, red wine, and walnuts that you can nibble in the evenings. If you’re travelling by plane and have to stick to a strict luggage allowance, don’t bother packing too many outfits – you might not even make it out of the room some days!
Now that you’re all ready to travel, there’s just one final thing to do – relax! Romantic getaways are the perfect excuse to forget about work, take a deep breath, and just unwind with your loved one. For the next few days, it’s just the two of you. Bon Voyage!
We all want happy relationships, but there are only a few people who actually achieve the goal of living in happy, supportive and fulfilling relationships. There are way too many people who end up in relationships with partners that are anything but good for them.
Why do they stay in those relationships? Well, some of them stay because they believe that they don’t have any alternatives and others are deluded by love, without even realizing that they make the biggest mistake of their life. The uncomfortable truth is that both men and women end up in relationships and marriages that they shouldn’t end up in.
If you dream about waking up next to your soulmate and marrying a partner who is perfect for you, you should first think about whether or not he or she is really good for you. How do you do that? I am pretty sure that the following seven traits will help you to find out if the person you are currently dating deserves to be your future spouse.
I know quite a few people who are living in relationships in which they don’t feel any love. On the one hand, this is quite shocking to me but on the other hand, I can totally understand why there are so many relationships in which one or even both partners don’t feel loved.
The problem is that many people are not able to love. This can have various reasons. Maybe this person was hurt in his or her last relationship and decided to not allow deep emotions anymore. Maybe this person has never experienced how it feels to be loved.
Make sure that the partner you want to marry is able to allow love in his life. Otherwise, you and your partner will never feel truly fulfilled in the relationship.
Does your partner support you? I don’t want to know if your partner gives you a hug whenever you celebrate an accomplishment. I want to know if your partner is there for you when no one else is. I want to know if your partner holds you when you think that you are drowning under all the stress and pressure.
When I think about the girl that I want to marry I think about someone who is there for me during the good times and during the bad times. If you have a partner who is only there for you when you are smiling and who makes excuses to get away from you as soon as you are in tears, you should think twice before you marry this person.
Does your partner have the same goals as you? I am sorry to say that but if you are together with someone who doesn’t want to have children and who dreams about traveling the world with you, while you are ready to settle down and to raise a family it is nearly impossible that your marriage won’t end up in a divorce.
Unless your partner has the same goals and the same expectations as you have, you will have a hard time to maintain a happy marriage. Of course it is important to discuss things and to make compromises, but if your expected path goes in completely different directions you won’t end up happily ever after.
In order to maintain a happy relationship your partner has to trust you. This means that you have to be a trustworthy person. The fastest way to gain trust is to always be completely honest and to behave as authentic as possible.
On the other hand, you also have to be able to trust your partner. Trust is reciprocal. As soon as one of both partners loses his trustworthiness and his trust in the other person, the relationship is doomed to fail.
Be as honest as possible and make sure that your partner understands how important trust is for you. Be careful to end up in a relationship with someone who cheated before. This doesn’t mean that he or she will automatically cheat again, but the inhibition threshold is definitely lower when you have never cheated before.
Being afraid of commitment and being unwilling to commit to another person, even if this person is absolutely perfect has become an epidemic in our society. It’s all about being as individual as possible. There is no time for family, commitment and supportive relationships.
Today it is a lot harder to find a partner who is willing to commit, but if you are really interested in settling down you have to find someone who wants that. Remember that I told you how important it is to have the same goals in life?
If you are dating someone who is afraid of commitment you might end up alone, because his or her fear was too strong to allow a happy relationship.
Even the most fulfilling relationship has times that are not so amazing. You will have argument, you will have different opinions and you might even have one or two fights along the way. For people who are emotionally stable this is absolutely no problem.
However, if you are dating an emotionally unstable person an innocent argument could be interpreted as a reason for a divorce. Emotionally unstable people tend to dramatize everything, which can easily lead to rash decisions that they will regret later.
Make sure that you have an emotionally stable partner who won’t think about leaving you after every tiny argument.
Everybody wants to have a happy relationship, but the only way to achieve this goal is to date someone who is already happy without you. I know that it sounds counterintuitive but let me explain what I mean.
True happiness comes from within and even though a relationship has the power to increase our happiness level, it should never be the foundation for your happiness. Unless the person you are with is happy without you, he or she won’t suddenly become happy with you.
Find someone who was already happy before he or she met you and your chance to end up in an amazing relationship is much higher.
It’s easy to dismiss stress as simply an unavoidable part of our lives. However, if you’re under too much strain, your health and general wellbeing can suffer. You might experience sleeping problems, have difficulty concentrating, feel irritable or anxious and suffer a loss of appetite. You might also be more likely to drink excessively and to act unreasonably. Stress can even trigger headaches, muscle pain and dizziness, and it’s a risk factor for high blood pressure. So, if you’re feeling under too much pressure, now could be the time to take action. Here are three common causes of stress in men, and some simple tips to help you ease the pressure.
Let’s face it, most men don’t like to talk about problems in the bedroom. However, sexual difficulties are much more common that you might think. It’s estimated that around one in ten men has a problem related to having sex, and erectile dysfunction is the most prevalent. It affects around 7-8% of men aged between 20 and 40, 11% of those aged 40 to 50 and 40% of the over 60s. There are a range of causes that can trigger this problem, both psychological and physical. There are also a variety of useful erectile dysfunction treatment options on offer. However, because of their reluctance to talk about these difficulties, men often fail to seek help. This can lead to a vicious cycle. Stress and anxiety about sexual problems can itself reduce men’s ability to perform, and the more negative experiences people have in the bedroom, the more anxious they become.
If you’re experiencing sexual difficulties, don’t simply hope they will go away. It’s important to be proactive. Firstly, try to establish the cause of your problems as this will help you to determine the best treatment. You might benefit from taking prescription-only erectile dysfunction medicines like Viagra. If you don’t want to visit your doctor to get these, you can seek a prescription from reputable websites such as onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com. By taking action like this, you stand to lower your stress levels and improve your love life.
Pressure at work is another major cause of stress among guys. Excessive workloads, a lack of support from managers and bullying are among the most common triggers. There’s no denying the fact that it’s a competitive employment market out there, and you may feel under pressure to accept all the challenges thrown at you by your boss. However, bear in mind that by taking on too much, you may end up doing nothing well. By having the confidence to say ‘no’ sometimes, you can actually make yourself a more effective worker and you can lower your stress levels too.
It’s also important to try to find ways to resolve any problems you have with your managers or colleagues. A more harmonious workplace can do wonders to reduce anxiety.
Last but by no means least, money troubles are an all too common cause of stress. Difficulty balancing the books from month to month can really pile the pressure on guys, and spiralling debt is especially worrying. The threat of redundancy can also be a major concern.
To help limit the anxiety you feel as a result of your finances, try to deal with any problems early on rather than burying your head in the sand and simply hoping they’ll go away. For example, you might benefit from seeking professional advice on how to prioritise your debts.
By following tips like these, you should find it easier to keep your stress levels in check, which is good news for both your body and mind.
…At 73, Adeboye reveals secrets of his 47-year old marriage
WAY before he became a prominent pastor, Enoch Adejare Adeboye of The Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, was a Mathematics lecturer at the University of Lagos and at a point, the University of Ilorin and he reminded everyone of that on Thursday, February 19, 2015.
Daddy G.O. as he is fondly called, who has been married for 47 years shared with the audience at the first annual lecture of Pastor E.A. Adeboye Professorial Chair for mathematics, the four simultaneous linear equations for successful marital life.
Pastor Adeboye supported each equation with relevant biblical verses as he told the audience at the main auditorium of the University of Lagos, UNILAG, that his understanding of the mathematics of marriage is what has kept his marriage strong.
“I told my children that why I have remained married for 47 years is because I understand the mathematics of marriage. Mathematics is a science of living,” he said.
His equation number 1, which states that ‘Love is blind’, was supported with a biblical passage from Proverbs 10:12, which states that love covers a multitude of sins.
Then he said the explanation for Equation number 2, ‘which is that “marriage is a miracle worker with special anointing for curing blindness”’ could be found in Genesis 29:16-25 which gives the account of how Jacob was so much in love that he did not know it was Leah that was given to him in marriage instead of Rachel until the next day.
When simultaneously calculated, he said the result shows that during courtship, love does not make shortcomings obvious until after marriage, when all doubts about character are cleared.
Moving on to Equation number 3, which states that “Angels don’t eat jollof rice”, he made reference to Judges 6:11-21 where the sacrifice Gideon offered to the angel was consumed by fire, while he said Equation number 4 is that angels don’t marry Matthew 22:30.
In essence, Pastor Adeboye explained that women eat jollof rice so they are not angels and are not perfect, just like men.
He advised couples to have reasonable expectations of their spouses and not expect them to be like angels.
Pastor Adeboye was the first Master’s and Ph.D student of Mathematics produced by the University of Lagos. The Apapa Family of the RCCG endowed the professorial chair in Mathematics, valued at N50 million at the university on his behalf in 2009.
The UNILAG Vice Chancellor, Prof. Rahamon Bello, announced at the lecture that the university would confer an honorary doctoral degree of science on Pastor Adeboye for his contribution to life and the growth of his church.
“In recognition of Pastor Adeboye’s contribution to life and the growth of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, the Senate of the University of Lagos has approved the award of a Doctor of Science (D.Sc) Honoris Causa to Pastor Adeboye. We look forward to the award will be bestowed on him officially,” he said.
Responding, Adeboye said he would accept the award with joy.
“While I have humbly rejected the awards of many universities, I will gladly accept that of the University of Lagos,” said the man of God.
Finding hobbies you can share as a couple helps make a relationship last. Whether you’ve just found each other or you’ve been together for years, if you’ve not gone metal detecting together yet you should! While it might not be the first “couples activity” that comes to mind, metal detecting together has a lot of benefits for a couple and can become an activity you enjoy together throughout your relationship whether you each have your own metal detector or not.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80 – you can enjoy metal detecting. There are light weight machines, long handled shovels and more to help make this a pass time that’s comfortable and fun for everyone.
Heading outside together can take the pressure off a new relationship and can bring long-term couples even closer together. Since you can’t go metal detecting indoors, you can experience a range of outdoor settings together when you both head out to find treasure.
If you don’t go with your significant other, be sure to take a friend. Since you’re usually out exploring new terrain metal detecting is the safest using the buddy system.
By the nature of the way you use your metal detector you’ll definitely get some exercise. You’ll need to walk around nearly the entire time you’re searching for treasure. Plus you’ll use your arm muscles to swing the machine back and forth while you’re walking. And, you’ll end up doing some squats as you dig up your treasure onyour next date.
Once you have a metal detector (you only need one, although having two can be fun as well) and your metal detecting tools, you’re all set to have an affordable (read Free!) date any day of the week. In fact, metal detecting may even be one of the only date night activities where you could actually make some money instead of spend it.
Metal detecting with your partner can also boost your overall effectiveness by allowing you help each other with the metal detecting. After all, two heads are better than one! Working together you can –
The most exciting thing about metal detecting is discovering what’s underground and learning more about it’s history, and it’s worth once you’re back home. The only thing that’s more exciting than that is to find these unique treasures with someone you love.
As you’re out metal detecting together, you’ll have time to talk, discover more about each other, and find additional shared interests. Not only that, through metal detecting you may be led to other interests that are totally new to both of you that you can now explore together such as hiking, history, antiquing, coin collecting, gold panning, geocaching, gardening, and so much more.
Finding activities you can appreciate together is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you already have a passion for metal detecting, take your partner along with you next time. If you’ve never been metal detecting – try it with your partner. Whether it’s your first date or you’re just looking for something to do since the kids are gone, metal detecting is a perfect activity for any couple to enjoy together.
About the author: Michael Bernzweig manages MetalDetector.com in Southborough, MA. He has written extensively on the subject of metal detecting since the mid 1980’s. He has traveled world-wide in his pursuit of educating, exploring and advising others in the proper use of metal detectors. Outside of the business he enjoys mentoring students, being involved in the community and spending time with his family.
Health issues can strike men at any age and stage, but as you get older, you might find that you’re beset by an increasing number of medical problems. By the time you hit midlife, you may have a range of health complications. The important thing is to remember that you’re not alone. As the male body ages, it becomes more susceptible to an array of medical issues. Here are just a few of the more common ones, and some suggestions to help you tackle them.
Sexual problems of any kind can be embarrassing to talk about, and it’s easy to feel isolated and ashamed if you develop difficulties in the bedroom. However, these issues may be much more common than you realise. For example, it’s estimated that around half of men aged between 40 and 70 have erectile dysfunction (ED). This refers to the inability to get and maintain an erection.
Physical causes of ED can include a narrowing of the blood vessels to the penis, hormonal changes, surgery or injury. Meanwhile, psychological issues such as relationship problems, anxiety and depression can also result in ED. Fortunately, help is at hand. There are now medicines available that can give firmer and longer-lasting erections. For example, you can head to trusted websites like onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com to request a prescription for Levitra. This works in a similar way to Viagra and Sildenafil, and when taken 30 to 60 minutes before sex, it can remain effective for around four to six hours.
These medicines can help to boost your confidence and they can prove effective at treating anxiety-related ED. However, bear in mind that they will not address any underlying medical causes like high blood pressure or diabetes. If you think your sexual problems have a physical basis, it’s important to seek information and advice from a medical professional.
In the UK alone, around 16 million people have high blood pressure (hypertension) and once you enter middle age, you are at an increased risk of this. After all, while the cause of most cases of hypertension is unknown, there a number of risk factors – and age is one of them. Other dangers include eating too much salt, not doing enough exercise, being overweight, drinking large amounts of alcohol and smoking.
If your blood pressure readings on separate occasions consistently come out at 140/90mmHg or above, you have hypertension. This is not something to ignore. Bear in mind that, if left untreated, high blood pressure can increase your chances of suffering a heart attack or stroke. In some cases, doctors recommend medication to help bring blood pressure under control. However, lifestyle changes can also lead to an improvement. For example, your doctor may advise you to lose weight, cut back on your salt and caffeine intake, stop smoking, reduce your alcohol consumption, exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet.
If you’ve noticed that your waistline has started to expand since you entered your midlife, you can rest assured you’re not alone. Unfortunately, it’s harder to stay trim as you get older. Between the ages of 30 and 40, people tend to experience changes in their metabolisms that predispose them to putting on extra weight. Also, lots of people find they do less exercise as they get older, often because they don’t have time to hit the gym or head out for a jog.
However, it’s important to make an effort to stay in shape. Health risks associated with obesity include type 2 diabetes, stroke, coronary heart disease and certain types of cancer. To help ensure you stay slim, it’s important to eat a healthy diet and to keep active.
Hi, I bring you a true life story of a marriage that lasted for only 5days. Not only that the marriage did not last, but one killed the other. The lesson therein is that maturity in marriage helps in reducing the chances of divorce. I was thirty when I got married but some people hold the opinion that marriage of couple younger than 25 can still flourish. Dear, read the true and touching story I present to you below and leave a comment.
An 18-year-old woman has allegedly killed her husband five days in what a neighbour described as a “forced marriage”.
The suspect, Rahma Hussaini, allegedly attacked the husband, 24-year-old Tijjani Basiru with a knife on Wednesday at Darmunawa quarters of Kano city. A neighbour, Isa Alhassan, told reporters that the young couple got married last Friday. “From what we heard the union was a product of forced marriage,” he said.
He said neighbours heard a frightening scream. “The man sounded like someone subdued man in need of rescue and we rushed to discovered that the man of the house was in his pool of his blood,” he said.
Neighbours took Basiru to Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital but he was confirmed dead on arrival by doctors. Hussaini was handed over to the police after the incident, which was confirmed by Magaji Musa Majia, the Kano police command spokesman.
“At about 10:00hrs one Rahma Hussaini of Darmunawa quarters stabbed her husband, one Tijjani M Basiru, on his stomach with a knife and was rushed to AKTH,” he said. He said the criminal investigation department (CID) team had taken over the case.
Love is an incredibly powerful emotion, even scientists can agree on that. But so called boffin wisdom goes on to insist that when we fall in love our bodies are aching and racing with hormones, adrenaline and pheromones – physical reactions driven by our oh-so smitten hearts.
Now wearing glasses doesn’t make me a scientist, so I’ll take their word for it. But after 26 blissful years with my husband, I can see why it’s way too easy for some people to undermine the very foundations of their loving relationship while innocently working their hardest to make it a long, strong, robust affair. Thankfully, we’ve always taken a different approach to ensure we build a relationship our hearts love which is why I want to share our secret with you.
You see, when you topple over the parapet and fall in love, you’re completely in tune with your heart. There’s no logic, no reason, no rhyme, nothing but your molecules communicating one on one with those of your heart’s true desire –the person with whom you’ll build a relationship your heart will love.
But then, disaster strikes. As human beings, all too often we go and screw it up!
Relationship mistake 101: having found our soulmate with our heart’s blind, raw emotion, we then try and build a relationship with our head’s logic, reason and rhyme.
Our hearts are immensely powerful, life-supporting bits of kit that only have two requests:
a) “Don’t clog me up by munching on too much fried cheese” – seems fair.
b) “Shut the brain up and let me do my job of ensuring you have a loving, committed relationship that lasts as long as I do” – seems a good deal, really.
If you want to build a relationship your heart will love, give it its head! That’s the secret.
And here’s the recipe…
A strong relationship that will endure anything and everything that it collides with in life relies on both partners being completely, wholly, totally open with each other. Sometimes, with the very best of intentions to keep from hurting the other’s feelings, it seems better not to say what we really mean – a nice sentiment, potentially. Unfairly though, all too often this leads to miscommunication which can pierce the hull of even the strongest relationship. ‘Open’ is strong because it says ‘I love you’ enough to tell you. Not being truly open and genuine will fall very short in the heart’s expectations. Only the real, heartfelt ‘you’ speaking is going to satisfy the positive emotions of a forever relationship.
There is categorically no room for dishonesty in a decent, loving relationship that has a future and no, I don’t need scientific data to back that up. Suspicion and insecurity will be rife when partners are deceitful or untruthful, even if this only happens a few times. The heart demands to know where it stands and any doubt will cause it to fall out of love very quickly. However, mutual trust built from honesty on both sides engenders feelings of security and commitment which is a better buttress to every heart than anything the Great Wall of China thinks it can show us about longevity.
Love isn’t blind – that’s just cliché nonsense. Love is priceless, not blind… loyalty on the other hand, oh now that’s wears a blacker blindfold than any knife thrower ever dared put on. Partners who build a relationship that’s truly loving and enduring are loyal beyond anything social customs, peer pressure or even authority could ever challenge. The person they fell totally in love with is still the one standing in front of them, five, ten, fifty years on. Hearts are strong, super strong but even they rely on the armor of loyalty for defense.
Want to see a heart leap higher for joy than it did when it first fell in love? Easy. Tell it that your love is forever. That’s it, right there, nothing difficult, no hoops to leap through, simple. A truly committed partner understands this is the cornerstone of a lasting relationship. Eliminating doubt that your heart will be held forever is the greatest possible freedom from loneliness and feeling incomplete. That’s going to let every heart take gold medal in the high jump, every time.
Seemingly strong relationships can fail on the track of love through the fierceness of competition between partners. Vying for dominance, recognition, even greater attention all seriously over challenge the heart which is way too busy trying to keep us upright, breathing and talking to be match fit enough to constantly beat an opponent who’s supposed to be a team mate – that’s so not going to happen, think about it. Truly regarding a partner as an equal in every area of life will build a stage where you both wear the crown, your heart will see to that. It will even make sure you’re super fit in the love stakes, now that’s a good deal.
Oh, life’s too busy. Way too busy, too filled with trying to get through the days, make enough money, put a roof over our heads, keep up with technology, blah, blah blah! And even though really decent, loving couples know that making time for each other is key to a lasting relationship, they can still fall short of satisfying the heart’s need for fun – pure, carefree, genuine fun. There’s no greater relationship stress buster, argument healer, love builder or memory maker than laughing and playing together. Fun is the ultimate detox than will keep a good relationship healthy forever. Seriously, you’ve got to go from the heart on this one.
Want to build a relationship your heart will love? Give it its head. I did and it gets better every single day.