I never thought I would be in a position like this. Five years ago my husband of sixteen years and I mutually broke up because we decided it was no longer working which was hard to admit after all that time together. After a long stint in which I have been single and enjoying time to myself I now feel like I am ready to move on, start dating and look for love again with the right man. It was a hard decision to even decide to date again because I felt if after a sixteen year marriage it doesn’t work out then what hope do we have? But then I realised that we actually weren’t happy for almost half of those sixteen years.
I’m back trying to find new love and have had a few dilemmas along the way, including this one which I’ve decided to share with you.
I took to online dating not long ago after “peer pressure” from my friends. I write peer pressure in inverted commas since it didn’t take much persuading from my friends for me to agree that it was the best course of action. I’m now a fifty three year old woman and even though I still go out and socialise with friends quite often, it’s rare that I would come in contact with a man on a romantic level. I also feel like time is running out for me (sorry for those who are my age or older who would rightfully disagree) to find love again.
It didn’t take long after I signed up before I got talking to someone, maybe about a week. But that didn’t get anywhere. I soon learned that it takes patience with online dating, at least if you’re willing to take your time to find someone you want to have a serious future with.
Having said that, after about three weeks I got talking to someone I can only describe as a gentlemen at least by the way we conversed online. But just like London buses, another man came along typically on the same evening. I thought there could be no harm in talking to two men online. Besides, at this point it was just harmless conversation and getting to know them.
Things seemed to escalate quite fast with both of them, not on purpose but organically. They were both extremely nice but seemed to have slightly different personalities. For example they were both humorous but in opposing ways. After about two weeks of talking online as well as by text messages to both of these men they both asked to meet up within a few days of each other. When I was asked by the first gentlemen, of course I willingly agreed to meet up, not anticipating that there was a strong chance of the second gentlemen asking me sooner or later. But I live my life in the present and don’t like to think too far ahead. Perhaps this was a reason to alter that logic and way of living as of course he did ask to meet up and suddenly I saw myself in a position agreeing to meet up with two different men in the space of a few days.
The reason for the title “two and half men” was because I then began talking to yet ANOTHER man online. But there was no hint of meeting up which is why I counted that as “half”.
I now have a hard decision to make after dating both of these men and both going exceptionally well. I am no nearer to deciding which one I would like to carry on dating so do I carry on dating them both? I would like to think that at some point there would be a factor which would push me towards one and not the other but how long that takes is the concerning thing.
Like I said before, I have never been in a position like this before so it’s not something I would say I’m proud of. But perhaps I am overthinking and exaggerating the seriousness of this. Maybe I should just embrace it while I can and enjoy the ride!
So here’s my question to you. Was I right or wrong to agree to meet up with two different men? What would you have done if you were in a similar position?
The way I have been thinking about it is that I was always going to have to let at least one of these men down sooner or later. In that respect I guess it was wrong of me to supposedly lead one of them on. I hate having to let people down.
But having said that, you have to be selfish in life sometimes right? Plus it was still early days and so I had to meet up with them to get to know them better. If I had stopped talking to one of them sooner then I would have never have known what could have been. In my mind that would’ve been foolish.
www.seniordatingblog.com / Twitter – @snrdatingblog / Facebook – @seniordatingblog / Instagram – @seniordatingblog