The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Love is an incredibly powerful emotion, even scientists can agree on that. But so called boffin wisdom goes on to insist that when we fall in love our bodies are aching and racing with hormones, adrenaline and pheromones – physical reactions driven by our oh-so smitten hearts.
Now wearing glasses doesn’t make me a scientist, so I’ll take their word for it. But after 26 blissful years with my husband, I can see why it’s way too easy for some people to undermine the very foundations of their loving relationship while innocently working their hardest to make it a long, strong, robust affair. Thankfully, we’ve always taken a different approach to ensure we build a relationship our hearts love which is why I want to share our secret with you.
You see, when you topple over the parapet and fall in love, you’re completely in tune with your heart. There’s no logic, no reason, no rhyme, nothing but your molecules communicating one on one with those of your heart’s true desire –the person with whom you’ll build a relationship your heart will love.
But then, disaster strikes. As human beings, all too often we go and screw it up!
Relationship mistake 101: having found our soulmate with our heart’s blind, raw emotion, we then try and build a relationship with our head’s logic, reason and rhyme.
Our hearts are immensely powerful, life-supporting bits of kit that only have two requests:
a) “Don’t clog me up by munching on too much fried cheese” – seems fair.
b) “Shut the brain up and let me do my job of ensuring you have a loving, committed relationship that lasts as long as I do” – seems a good deal, really.
If you want to build a relationship your heart will love, give it its head! That’s the secret.
And here’s the recipe…
A strong relationship that will endure anything and everything that it collides with in life relies on both partners being completely, wholly, totally open with each other. Sometimes, with the very best of intentions to keep from hurting the other’s feelings, it seems better not to say what we really mean – a nice sentiment, potentially. Unfairly though, all too often this leads to miscommunication which can pierce the hull of even the strongest relationship. ‘Open’ is strong because it says ‘I love you’ enough to tell you. Not being truly open and genuine will fall very short in the heart’s expectations. Only the real, heartfelt ‘you’ speaking is going to satisfy the positive emotions of a forever relationship.
There is categorically no room for dishonesty in a decent, loving relationship that has a future and no, I don’t need scientific data to back that up. Suspicion and insecurity will be rife when partners are deceitful or untruthful, even if this only happens a few times. The heart demands to know where it stands and any doubt will cause it to fall out of love very quickly. However, mutual trust built from honesty on both sides engenders feelings of security and commitment which is a better buttress to every heart than anything the Great Wall of China thinks it can show us about longevity.
Love isn’t blind – that’s just cliché nonsense. Love is priceless, not blind… loyalty on the other hand, oh now that’s wears a blacker blindfold than any knife thrower ever dared put on. Partners who build a relationship that’s truly loving and enduring are loyal beyond anything social customs, peer pressure or even authority could ever challenge. The person they fell totally in love with is still the one standing in front of them, five, ten, fifty years on. Hearts are strong, super strong but even they rely on the armor of loyalty for defense.
Want to see a heart leap higher for joy than it did when it first fell in love? Easy. Tell it that your love is forever. That’s it, right there, nothing difficult, no hoops to leap through, simple. A truly committed partner understands this is the cornerstone of a lasting relationship. Eliminating doubt that your heart will be held forever is the greatest possible freedom from loneliness and feeling incomplete. That’s going to let every heart take gold medal in the high jump, every time.
Seemingly strong relationships can fail on the track of love through the fierceness of competition between partners. Vying for dominance, recognition, even greater attention all seriously over challenge the heart which is way too busy trying to keep us upright, breathing and talking to be match fit enough to constantly beat an opponent who’s supposed to be a team mate – that’s so not going to happen, think about it. Truly regarding a partner as an equal in every area of life will build a stage where you both wear the crown, your heart will see to that. It will even make sure you’re super fit in the love stakes, now that’s a good deal.
Oh, life’s too busy. Way too busy, too filled with trying to get through the days, make enough money, put a roof over our heads, keep up with technology, blah, blah blah! And even though really decent, loving couples know that making time for each other is key to a lasting relationship, they can still fall short of satisfying the heart’s need for fun – pure, carefree, genuine fun. There’s no greater relationship stress buster, argument healer, love builder or memory maker than laughing and playing together. Fun is the ultimate detox than will keep a good relationship healthy forever. Seriously, you’ve got to go from the heart on this one.
Want to build a relationship your heart will love? Give it its head. I did and it gets better every single day.
With New Year fast approaching, chances are life has gotten a little messy of late, what with all the excitement and seasonal get-togethers. It is also a time for fresh starts – including your love life. Whether it’s finding a new partner or reinvigorating your long-term relationship, change begins with tidying up your living space and scrubbing up your appearance. After all, a long year takes its toll on all of us, and facing the New Year is easier when you look and feel refreshed. This is the beginning of making an active change.
In general, actively seeking to look tidy and clean can affect your entire outlook and give you a positivity to carry you through the New Year. The Christmas break gives us all a little breathing space to make the changes we’d been planning to make all year but never got around to, like booking in a haircut or sprucing up our wardrobes. While none of things will actively make or break a relationship (that’s on you, we’re afraid) it can give you that boost of confidence you’ll need to approach a new interest or take the next step with your current partner.
You might also take some time to rethink your current look and make some changes. For example, 2014 was the year we reached ‘peak beard’ – and 2015 looks to be the year we’ll once again embrace the shaven visage. No one wants to be dismissed for a dodgy beard or told to remove it by a partner, so start the year by getting prepared. A good start for men would be to trim that beard into shape and face the upcoming year with neatened face fuzz, rather than a Mr Twit extravagance – after all you can always download a replacement beard from the Roald Dahl site if you really miss it.
Your surroundings will also play an important part on your outlook. A tidy living environment helps you keep a tidy and focused mind – and makes an immense difference to how your partner (or prospective partner) feels about spending time there. Plus, if you’re co-habiting, you probably already know how easy it is to bicker about even little household tasks, so a comprehensive tidying up session can actually do wonders for your relationship. Here are a few tips:
No relationship is based entirely on the state of your home or wardrobe, but by building up an all round strategy for self-improvement, you could start up or continue a relationships with renewed vigour – and face the new year with a lasting positive mind set.
Our lives today mean that we’re so focused on our careers that many of us find the path to true love doesn’t always run smoothly. We’re so focused on other things that we blink and find we’re suddenly in our thirties and the things our own parents had by that age just haven’t materialized. Sometimes it isn’t through lack of trying; sometimes it is just because we haven’t had the time to commit.
More people are turning to dating websites to find their partner, or simply sometimes to find a companion or someone to socialize with. As far back as 2012, it was being reported that dating sites were coining it in the UK alone, with as much as £2billion is being spent on them, by people who were desperate to find the love of their life.
Not all dating sites are the same; anyone who has used them will know this. There are ones to avoid and ones that have great reputations – but what suits one person really might not suit another’s needs (or their pocket, if we’re talking in financial terms).
You don’t necessarily need to pay a lot to find love, but, if you want to weed out the shysters – the men and women who are perhaps only just after one thing – from the people who are truly serious about finding a long term partner to cherish, you will have to grit your teeth and fork out some cash.
The general consensus is that free sites are not all bad – but…you must be prepared to come across a larger pool of people, and within that pool there might be more than a few weirdoes. That’s the nature of the game.
You’d actually be amazed at how many people don’t use these types of sites safely or are surprised when they run into trouble. Having an idea of the types of sites out there and what they can offer is a good idea – as knowing how to be smart and savvy when you log into them too.
Before you commit, think about your profile too. Think about what you want to say, how you want to show yourself. Choose a decent headshot, or more than one, one really important thing that a lot of dating experts agree on is that your chosen profile photo shouldn’t show you drinking. Many people make the mistake of adding in a shot of themselves in a pub or in a bar with an alcoholic drink in their hand – this is a bit of an unwritten no-no. Use a full face shot, make sure the background is as neutral as possible and smile!
Some sites offer a free trial period, so you can see if you like the way they operate, before you commit. These tend to be quite user friendly and give you the opportunity to see how you can communicate with men or women you’re attracted to.
Lastly, there are paid sites – the ones you must join fully and pay upfront to get the most from. Most opinions seem to agree that these sites will have the more “seriously minded” daters on there, the ones who really are out to find someone to fall in love with.
The choice really is up to you at the end of the day, it doesn’t have to cost a bomb, but – if you want to be considered a serious dater, it might be best to bite the bullet, put your money where your mouth is and pay a fee to find fun and frolics with a like minded person.
The world of dating advice can be often confusing. On the one hand, you shouldn’t seem too interested in a girl. On the other hand, you can’t really avoid showing interest at all. So what’s the right thing to do?
Showing a girl that you like her is important, because otherwise she’ll ask herself the question – “if he doesn’t like me at all, why is he dating me?!?!”
In this post, I’ll share several dating tips for men on how to show your interest in a girl, and how to tell her that you like her.
Let’s begin with what you shouldn’t be doing, and this is complimenting a girl when she doesn’t deserve it. What do I mean?
Men often give women compliments on how they look, or other kinds of generic compliments – such as “You are cute” and “Love your shirt”.
These types of compliments sound fake and seem like you’re trying to impress and bribe a girl using your compliments. It doesn’t work and isn’t attractive.
If you want to compliment and show interest in a girl, do it when she deserves this.
After we figured out when not to give compliments, let’s ask the next question – when and how is it OK, and even attractive, to compliment a woman?
Women, like men, love to get compliments for doing something good – when they “deserve” it. This is actually the basic principle for giving attractive compliments.
Give her your compliments based on her behavior. For example, if she tells you a funny joke – you can say “The joke you told me was funny. I like your humor.”
Or if she tells you something impressive about herself, such as that she studies engineering; compliment her – “Wow, that’s pretty impressive when a girl studies engineering. I like intelligent girls”
Give women compliments that they deserve, and you’ll never be seen as needy or over interested.
Showing your interest in women is important. If you don’t give her any signals of interest It seems like you’re either desperate and ready you be with any girl, or that you only want to sleep with her. Either option isn’t very attractive to women. So you simply must find reasons to compliment her.
Therefore, you don’t have to wait until she gives you reasons to compliment. Instead, you can qualify her, and make her give you reasons to compliment her.
Qualifying women means that you ask or check if she has the qualities and traits that you want in women. So you should better have some qualities that you look in women (beside physical looks), because women are attracted to men who are picky.
So, with this list of traits that you want in a woman, go on and qualify her, by checking if she possesses these qualities.
If you want a girl who knows how to cook, tell her: “Do you know how to cook? Because I love when women make me my favorite meal, which is…..”
Most of the chances are that her answer will positive (because most women in fact know how to cook, and because she will want to impress you), and now you can give her a decent compliment – “Wow, that’s cool. I kind of like you. I like women who are good cookers.”
Showing your interest in a woman while qualifying is the perfect way to tell that you like her. After doing this, she’ll be actually expecting you to ask her out on a date.
Sarah Williams is a freelance writer that is passionate about psychology. After several relationships and a LOT of dates, she shares her honest female perspective about dating, sex and men’s health on Wingman Magazine . After all, she is just a hopeless romantic trying to figure it all out.
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