The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
When it comes to dating, you should focus only on what would turn the other person on. Rather, think about the things that would turn the person off.
Major let-downs for women can range from superficial, such as physical features and hygiene, to absolutely offensive, like beliefs and manners.
If you’re a guy and is new to dating, here are 13 of the biggest deal breakers women share.
If you’re dishonest on the very first date, then there’s no way you’ll be asked for a second date. We all deserve truth and authenticity. Any kind of dishonesty, whether it’s as trivial as your favorite hobby or as extreme as your marital status, is an immediate red flag.
Women and men alike won’t be interested in someone who feels the need to misrepresent their age, height, marital status, occupation, financial stability, possessions, and vices.
If you’re always running late or can’t totally show up from time to time (even when you’re sending fresh, beautiful flowers) , your date may imply that you’re not serious, or worse, you’re self-centered. Time is precious, so wasting your date’s time repetitively is a strong signal for her to look elsewhere.
Nothing turns off a woman faster than a man who doesn’t even make an effort to look and smell decent and presentable.
Combed hair, clean, newly-laundered clothes, fresh breath and regularly brushed teeth, tidy nails, clean ears, washed hands, and pleasant (not even scented with expensive perfume) smell all over – are these too much to ask?
It’s not just a matter of being unpleasant. When a guy doesn’t seem to be taking care of himself, that could be a sign that he’s looking for someone to take care of him – and no, that shouldn’t be the woman’s problem.
There’s a fine line between being “carefree” and “lacking the ambition.” You don’t have to have big goals for yourself and for your future partner. However, you must have some goals and work to get close to that pursuit.
Being unemployed is a top deal breaker for women, especially if you’re still living in your mother’s nest. Not that most women can’t provide for themselves – unemployment implies you’re not where you want to be, thus are not stable both financially and emotionally.
Depending and living with your parents while in your 20s or 30s may suggest co-dependence, fear of commitment, and the lack of motivation and emotional maturity.
Smoking has long been considered as a major turn off, especially for non-smokers. But for some, dating a smoker is okay as long as the person is responsible enough to smoke in designated areas, control the intake, and work to curb the unpleasant effects like bad breath and smelly clothes and house.
The real problem occurs when the person has been addicted to smoking to the point it’s unbearable. Same goes with alcoholism, gambling, and drug abuse. Addiction affects not only the heart, lungs, and gut – it damages the mind, which can be a major relationship issue in the long run.
There are three types of men with poor communication skill;
One, the guy who nods at everything his date talks about, and answers only when asked. Two, the guy who doesn’t appear to be listening and fails to give feedback on what has talked about. Three, the guy who wants to talk about no one but himself and his greatness, disabling the date to speak up.
Isn’t it a bummer when you have spent hours to be presentable and your date has a divided attention because his phone is glued to his hand?
Smartphones kill genuine conversations – and relationships. When you’re on a date, gentlemen, it’s a no-brainer to free yourself from all your distractions. Forget checking e-mails, sports scores, or game night invites by your bros.
Excuse me? We’re not in the 1950s. If you throw these questions on the first date, then there’s no point in continuing.
There’s a fine line between expressing attraction and being pushy about sex. It’s all about the intention. Women looking for a serious relationship immediately back off when a man can’t shut up about how much he wants to “bed” her on the first date and it’s getting uncomfortable.
No woman can trust a guy whose IG feed is loaded with pictures of scantily clad party girls, vain gym mirror selfies, and photos of women he has dated in the past (or is currently dating).
Several children, multiple women, and complicated relationship or unfinished business with an ex – these are some of the “excess baggage” a man may have. To make it worse, some men with an excess baggage even negatively talk about their ex or children on the first date. These are deal-breakers since no person wants to be dragged into the unnecessary mess and drama.
A guy who is genuinely kind-hearted respects, not only his date but everyone in the room – including the servers and sanitary personnel. Experts agree: you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those in the service jobs.
Listen up: If the man yells and badmouths the restaurant staff, and is basically rude to other people, then it’s a red flag, revealing a preview of how he might treat the lady as they go on. Other red flags include road rage, failure to compromise several times, failure to accept blame, and manipulating behavior.
The first impression lasts, they say. But chances are, if a guy shows up with one or a few of these major turnoffs, he may not score a second or third date to redeem himself and score a potential good relationship with a great woman.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
Because Bouquets Are So Passé.
If you’re surprising your lover with flowers, chances are you’re going to grab a presentation-style bouquet, which is pre-selected in a flower shop or local supermarket. Presentation bouquets generally look like this: a bunch of flowers tied together and typically adorned with dry waxed paper or floral tissue, jutte fabrics, and mesh ribbons.
They are nice and convenient, but they can be, well, clichéd and predictable – especially if you’re giving it to a long-term spouse whom you’ve been giving bouquets for years.
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing sweeter than receiving a handheld bouquet filled with vibrant and freshly-picked flowers of your taste. But wouldn’t it be nicer to receive flowers that have a dash of creativity and personality into it?
If you’re sending flowers for your wife, girlfriend, or special someone but you want to elevate your usual handheld bouquet and give something unexpected, here are 10 wonderful ideas to keep in mind.
If your wife loves both tea and flowers, then an English country garden-inspired teapot full of blooms is the best way to go. A lovely arangement of roses, daisy, and poms in feminine pastel-hued pots would definitely brighten up their day.
For a rustic, “fresh from the garden” look, use rustic watering cans. The pale, timeworn look of watering cans add charm to the arrangement of vibrant blooms. You may also loop wire around the handle so it can be hung on the door for a beautiful display.
You may use the same approach for ceramic mugs, painted bottles, and vividly-colored jars.
Love metals and vintage prints? Your recipient would definitely love blooms in old, vintage canisters. They come in different designs, from old-fashioned floral patterns to 50s-inspired typography and poster signages. Even vintage soup and coffee tin canisters elevate your floral arrangement.
Forget conventional vases and put old lanterns to use. Antique lanterns make romantic flowers arrangements, like roses, baby breath, and foliage, even dreamier. They also make a nice centerpiece for one’s home.
If your recipient loves a wild arrangement of pretty pastel flowers, then wooden containers, like crates, would make perfect vessels. Aside from roses, flowers like hydrangeas, lisianthus, and snapdragons look stunning on crates.
Bouquets usually come with a box of chocolates and other confectioneries , but wouldn’t it be nice if you give something sweet but healthier? Pair your fresh blooms with sweet edibles, that are also freshly picked – fruits. Flowers and fruits go well with each other since they’re both vibrant plants. They also make great “get well soon” gifts for a lover or friend who needs healthy munchies to recover.
Who doesn’t love mini versions of anything? Be creative enough to turn smaller floral varieties into cute mini bouquets. You may scrimp on size but never on beauty, since they look lovely when attached to greeting cards and love letters for your special someone.
If you’re overly cheesy and romantic, you can never go wrong with the classic heart-shaped floral arrangement. A heart-shaped arrangement of roses, which may come in one solid color or multi-color, make a perfect gift for Valentine’s day, wedding anniversary, and your loved one’s birthday.
Giving a floral wreath is one splendid way to opt out of handheld bouquet without losing the sweet gesture of “giving flowers for your love.” Floral wreaths look amazing, whether they are in bold and vibrant hues or pretty pastel hues. For a more earthy appeal, use a grapevine wreath and adorn with your recipient’s favorite flowers. They make a lovely door and wall decoration.
Don’t throw your broken umbrella yet! You can fill it with your love’s favorite blooms, tie it with some pretty ribbons, and tada – you have a beautiful bouquet that looks quirky and out of the box! It’s multi-purpose too – you can use the handle for hanging the blooms and using it as a wall or door décor.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
Just because you’re not gifted with Hollywood-worthy facial features and strong and lean physique doesn’t mean you can’t be attractive.
In contrary to stereotypes, women are pretty much easy to please. There are certain masculine features that make us swoon, and chances are that most guys are unaware of them.
Having a fetish isn’t as bizarre as it may sound. Having a paraphilia – a physical object, role or thought that is the principal center of your sexual drive – can be somewhat invigorating and fun in the room. It doesn’t matter if you’re into straight, gay, bi, transgender dating or just want to meet online – fetishes can show up anywhere and under any conditions.
Some people develop fetishes at a very young age due to various causes, while others only figure out that they have a sexual paraphilia much later in life by accident. There are pretty simple and common ones, like fetishes that focus on body parts which already have established sexual attributes, and then there are rarer and more intriguing, such as fetishes that put odd things in a person’s sexual focus (feet, hair, nostrils, etc.).
Still, it’s by most considered as weird, freaky, even disgusting and sick for some unknown reason, even though it doesn’t have to be that way. For the most part, this is caused by prejudice and people’s fear of that which they do not understand or which they do not perceive as a part of everyday life – which fetishes totally are for some folk. In that name, here is our attempt at explaining the phenomenon that are fetishes by addressing the top 4 myths about fetishism.
Does having an interest make somebody debased? With respect to why that happens, hypotheses extend. One, clarified by therapist and sex scientist Justin Lehmiller, is established in traditional molding, whereby “to the extent that a specific object repeatedly appears just before we experience sexual arousal, we may eventually come to see that object as a cue for sexual arousal.” Another hypothesis is geographic, as the zone of our brains that control our sexual parts may cover or be firmly situated to another piece of the cerebrum — say, “the region that manages your feet.”
Once again, this myth can be attributed to the common misconception that just because something is “out of the box,” it automatically has to be freakish and bizarre. Surely, there are certain fetishes that can make others queasy, but that does not justify any prejudice which would mark fetishists as weirdos or perverts.
There is no such thing as a standard fetishist, as the obsession group is extraordinarily various — indeed, it’s not even a solitary group. “There are communities for foot fetishes, latex and rubber fetishists, chastity fetishists, lingerie fetishists, diaper fetishists, and myriad other specialized sexual interests,” sexologist Gloria Brame said.
Indeed, even inside individual interest groups, tastes can change, as a certain foot fetishist wrote in a 2014 Medium exposition: “It’s all a matter of taste, and like music, some fetishists have a narrow, refined taste while some guys don’t care if their girlfriend has hooves and sausage toes.”
Basically, this means that having a fetish isn’t a simple phenomenon in any way. As we’ve mentioned before, there are fetishes that focus on things that are already sexualized in general (and sometimes people don’t even know that they’re having a fetish), while on other occasions there are fetishes that are very specific and very out-of-the-ordinary. This all means that there’s no telling who can or cannot become a fetishist or who is or isn’t one already.
Yet another case misdefining something that has to be defined right in order to be understood.
As noted over, a fetish is frequently based on a physical object or particular activity. Kink, in the interim, is frequently used to depict any sexual practices that fall outside of the standard — however, there can be overlapping, making some perplexity even inside the group.
“I have always referred to my main kink, which is being spanked, and being submissive to my partner, as my fetishes,” Jessica Wakeman wrote for the Frisky in 2013. “Technically-speaking, however, my ‘spanking fetish’ and my ‘submission fetish’ are not fetishes.”
If we were to really get into the terminology here, we would have to separate spanking and submission from fetishism simply due to them belonging to two different groups. The first two are actually a part of a very complex sexual preference known widely as BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism), while for something to be described as a fetish, it needs to have a paraphilia, or in other words, an object or body part that would be in the center of a fetishist’s sexual focus.
Despite what might be expected, Internet people group propose that fetishists are all around, and they exist in huge numbers. Interpersonal organization FetLife alone has almost 4 million individuals.
“The Internet has been the single biggest boon to sexually unconventional hook-ups in human history,” Brame says “It has been demonstrated time and again that if you build a site for an interest you don’t think anyone in the world shares, within a few months you’ll have a bustling membership.”
If we’re being honest, weirder things than fetishists can be found on the web, and furthermore, it’s not really that hard finding them. Remember all those fetishes Gloria Brame mentioned earlier? Foot, latex and rubber, chastity, lingerie, diaper – all these fetishes and many more can be found all over the internet, from sites that deal with the social and sexual problems and dilemmas of fetishism to full-blown pornographic videos and live sex cams that revolve exclusively around fetishes.
When looking for the perfect ways to spice up a bland relationship, couples often turn to grand gestures. They go out and splurge on a fancy date at a steakhouse, travel out of town, and buy expensive things for their partner. We tend to forget that it is the smallest, simplest things that keep a relationship moving.
Oftentimes, you don’t have to go outside. Genuine and heartwarming gestures of love and affection are displayed at home
It doesn’t take that much amount of time, effort, and money to make your partner feel valued every day. To build a strong connection and bond that lasts, here are some expert tricks to fit into your routine.
Anyone who wants to meet people online should ask the college kids for help, right? Well, wrong. You’d be surprised to learn that college students are a lot more old-fashioned than modern technology and media would have us believe. Today, we take a closer look at how college students use dating apps, and how they prefer to find new dates.
According to a study which included 3,500 college students done by Abodo, the apartment hunting app, these kids might be online for the better part of their day, but still prefer to meet new people through traditional means. Of those who participated in the survey, only 4 percent said they liked to meet matches using dating apps. A total of 80 percent of survey participants said they liked to meet through mutual friends or shared interests, while some 15 percent said they preferred to leave things up to chance, and meet people when out and about.
These results look pretty old-fashioned, and certainly not what we expect to see. At the same time, college kids do use dating apps, but they don’t prefer to use them to date. Over 90 percent of respondents say they use Tinder and other apps for purposes other than to hook up with someone over the weekend. In other words, Tinder & Co have not led to a culture of endless hook-ups, as is the popular belief.
Those other purposes include entertainment, which is a response given by 35 percent of Tinder, Bumble and Grindr users. Also, 15 percent of women and 9 percent of men said they used the apps for an ego boost, and the rest of the respondents said they used dating apps to find friends, although the term “friend” wasn’t clearly defined.
In terms of dating apps that surveyed college students used, 85 percent said they preferred Tinder, 17 percent said Bumble was their first choice, and OKCupid came in first for almost 9 percent of the respondents.
In practical terms, these results suggest that college kids live in a structured social environment that seems to present plenty of opportunity to meet people organically, without having to enlist the help of technology. When we take the size of campuses into account, it actually makes sense that they build their romantic lives in the offline world.
At the same time, their habits are likely to change when they graduate and enter the workforce where they won’t have as much time to socialize, and are expected to lean on dating apps much more to find suitable partners.
When it comes to Tinder influencing the dating habits of college students, this survey suggests Tinder is most often used out of boredom, not to cure loneliness or find a date for the upcoming weekend. This is not to say college kids aren’t dating as crazy, but they sure don’t depend on their phones to connect them with potential partners.
Do you believe in the saying, “love is lovelier the second time around?”
Taking the cheesy, hopeless romantic statement aside, getting back with a former lover isn’t a piece of cake. The word “ex” often gets a bad rap. The two of you broke up for a reason, and you fear the possibilities of falling back into old habits and circumstances that didn’t work in the first place. You worry about how your friends and family would react. You’re afraid of being hurt again by the same person you tried to move on from.
But former sweethearts come in different forms. We all have those exes who made our life miserable and we’re good with never seeing them again. On the other hand, there are the ones who you’d be willing to befriend and rekindle with again if the time was right.
If you happen to reunite with someone special from the past and you’re contemplating whether to give it another shot or not, check out these things to see if your relationship is worth the second chance.
1. You had a clean break
You’ve been with this person for three years but due to several circumstances, you felt like it would be better to end the relationship. While it’s tempting to keep in touch with this person and replace the romantic relationship with friendship immediately, it wouldn’t be the best thing to do. The essence of ending a relationship is to grow apart.
Time heals, right?
Give it time. It would be better if you have spent a lot of months or years apart with no intention of future reconciliation. Have you cut off your contact after the breakup? Did you unfriend, unfollow, or block your ex so you can spend the time growing individually? Have you had the taste of life on your own? Did you do some soul searching?
After some time away from the person, you’ll have a clearer pair of eyes to figure out what’s best for you. By the time you reunite, you have a lot of new insights and discoveries about life and yourself, which you can apply on your fresh start.
2. You’re willing to start anew
Start from the start. Isn’t it nice to experience that “getting to know” stage all over again?
Sure, you are in love with the same person. But you’re living a different timeline now. You probably have a new circle of friends. Your career statuses have changed. You have new hobbies and interests to talk about. Your perspectives have evolved too. There are a lot of things to be discovered.
Okay, don’t fool yourselves that you’re “strangers again.” You’re not. The fact that you have a shared history will never disappear. Talking about things from the past is inevitable. But the point now is you have grown separately and you have learned from your previous mistakes. After growing apart, you tend to forget the petty things you fought about. You are restarting with a clean slate and healthier habits.
3. Your past relationship wasn’t a toxic one
Not all exes are the same. There are good exes and there are bad exes. The good exes are the ones whom you can totally relate to. You shared the same interests and you treated each other with compassion, trust, loyalty, and respect. It’s just that you realized you’re no good as a couple.
On the other hand, there are those exes who ruined you. They brought out the worst in you. They abused you physically and/or emotionally. And you got a sigh of relief when you two broke up.
For sure, you don’t want to get back with or even be friends with the latter.
4. The reason for why you broke up is fixable
Perhaps you broke up 5 years ago because of long distance relationship and this time, you’re residing in the same city. Or maybe one’s hectic schedule drew you apart but you’re in a more relaxed state now. Maybe you were just kids when you fell in love and you’ve grown older and wiser now.
If the reason the two of you broke up is no longer a problem anymore, then it’s okay to give it a second chance.
5. You have forgiven each other
It’s a must to seek forgiveness and accept one’s apology. Whether you admit it or not, your relationship is not normal. You’re unlike other brand new couples. You have a heavier baggage, so eliminate that massive burden from your chest.
6. You have let go of the grudges
If you’re thinking of getting back together, make sure you don’t carry the grudges from the past relationship to this new one. When you decide to open up your heart again to your past lover and forgive him/her, you accept to let go of the hurt and resentment so you can finally start over again. Avoid digging and bringing up old issues. Avoid making the other feel guilty about the past. Letting go is your sole ticket to happiness.
7. You understand each other now more deeply
Going back five years ago, you seemed to be living in an entirely different planet. You didn’t like the same things. Your ideas used to clash and every conversation wasn’t healthy.
Aside from healing wounds, time also changes people. Now, you discover that your needs, expectations, and goals have changed and these are aligned with your ex’s. You get along now more than ever. When you understand each other more deeply, you can love each other more deeply as well than you ever did before.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting.
Married sex should be anything but boring. The longer you spend together as a couple the more you get to know each other emotionally and physically.
As long-term partners, you get to learn each other’s likes and dislikes, kinks and turn-offs, and have years’ worth of practice to make sure you’re both satisfied by the end of your romp. Truly, your sex life should actually be better the longer you’re together – not worse.
Still, if emotional intimacy in marriage is lacking, it can create problems in the bedroom. Your sex life should be fun and satisfying, not predictable and dull. Whether you’re bored in bed or are just looking to add a little spice to your sex life, look no further. Here are 8 tips for making your sex life even sexier.
As long-term partners, all you and your spouse have to do to get the message across that you’re in the mood is make some simple eye-contact. Convenient? Yes. Romantic? Hardly.
There are charms to the occasional quickie, but when is the last time you and your spouse worked on seducing one another? One of the best things about getting married is that having sex is basically a given, but that doesn’t mean you should stop putting effort into the seduction process.
Stimulate your partner by setting the mood for lovemaking. Put on your favorite bedroom music, light some candles, and give each other massages. These things will stimulate sexual chemistry and make the payoff that much more exhilarating.
It’s time to get your acting chops ready, because you’re about to add a little drama into your sex life. One great way to spice up your sex is through a little harmless roleplay.
Roleplaying is great for boosting intimacy in marriage and your libidos since it allows you to stretch your creative muscles and act out dirty fantasies without actually putting yourself into danger.
Your imagination is often the key to a better sex life, so why not pretend to be someone else for a night and go wild? Pretend to be a student and teacher, pirate and wench, secretary and boss, dirty massage parlor, maid and boss, fake “hate sex”. Whatever your thrill, add it to the list of sexy roleplaying ideas you want to try.
Want to know how to spice up your sex life? Get creative.
Erotica is a great way to bring something new into the bedroom. Reading erotic stories to one another is a great start. Find a story that contains a fantasy you’re both curious about and take turns reading it to each other. Incorporate your naughty story as a regular part of foreplay and switch up the fantasies every once and a while.
Not only will this turn you both on, but the stories will also give you ideas for great role plays or new sex positions to try.
Another great way to get creative in bed is to experiment with sex toys. These are designed, not to replace your partner, but to enhance the sex you’re already having.
It is thought that roughly 53% of women own a vibrator. This is not surprising, considering women are more likely to achieve orgasm during intercourse when adding a vibrating companion into the mix.
Don’t think that sex toys are just for her. There are plenty of other toys and additives you can incorporate into your sex life that will please both partners. Flavored or sensational lubricants, vibrating cock rings, dual stimulators, handcuffs, whips, ticklers, and orgasm gel are all great additions to your bedroom antics.
Communication is key for any healthy relationship, and that includes talking about all things sex-related. When you talk to your partner about your desires, you build intimacy in marriage that teaches you both how to please one another.
Talk about what you like in bed, share your deepest fantasies, or do a sexy show-and-tell, talking them through the things you love while you’re actually in the act together. This fun instruction doubles as sexy dirty talk and is fun for both partners.
Routines in the bedroom can be nice. They help keep you focused and organized, are likely to get the orgasm every time. But, routines can also be monotonous.
Fight the bedroom boredom blues by mixing up your routine with new positions. Grab a book of sex positions and endeavor to try a new one each week. This is a great way to bond with your spouse while giving each other something new to look forward to.
You can also break your routine by taking sex out of the bedroom. Try fooling around somewhere new like on the couch, the kitchen table, or sit on the same side of the booth the next time you head out for a drink together and use some discreet handplay under the table.
Lingerie is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. For him, lingerie is a sexy way to be visually seduced by his partner. For her, wearing a lacy, silky garment that’s designed specifically to make her feel sexy and desirable is a huge ego-boost.
When you have self-confidence you’re more able to let go of your inhibitions in the bedroom. You can choose lingerie as tasteful, kinky, or risque as you are comfortable with.
So long what you’re wearing makes you feel hot and confident, it’s a winner. The bottom line is when you look good, you feel good, and feeling confident in the bedroom is one of the quickest ways to skyrocket your sex life.
Don’t let a long-term relationship be your excuse for a boring sex life. By setting the mood, building up your body confidence, fostering emotional intimacy, getting creative, and taking your time in bed, you and your spouse are sure to have a sex life that is anything but boring.
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
In one of my previous articles here in Singles and Married, I talked about infidelity myths and mentioned some underlying issues which can be motives for cheating. I also elaborated on how disloyal partners a.k.a cheaters aren’t all the same. Some cheat physically, others cheat emotionally; some folks don’t know what they’re doing, others are just plain egocentric jerks.
Let me share you a true story: a month ago, I just discovered that my boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me with a co-worker he has known for nine months. Based on the pictures I saw and the drastic decline of affection I felt, I assume they’ve been dating for five months while we’re still in a relationship. He did apologize but he never asked for another shot, so I guess I know what he chose, or rather, WHO he chose.
Now that I have experienced an infidelity story first-hand, I can say that the article I wrote last January has more depth and meaning than ever. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of days, questioning myself what went wrong and what was wrong with me. Am I not enough? Am I unattractive? Then why did he do it? Then I recalled that even seemingly perfect relationships are susceptible to infidelity.
This time, I’ll share 10 common signs your partner might be cheating, based not only on my personal experience for the past months but also on the experiences of women who had fallen for the wrong guys in the past.
You tell him countless times to eat his veggies and head to the gym but did he ever listen? No. However, these past few weeks or months, you notice that he transformed into a fitness-conscious person, not in a “do it for your health” way but in a “do it for your 6-pack abs” way.
Another sign is when he’s getting a little extra with his clothing. He never dresses up his fancy attire when you go out on dates to impress you. Well, he used to when your love was new. But lately, you see him looking his best when he goes out with “the boys” or leaves for work. He changes his perfume. He shaves and cuts his hair too, which are unusual.
It’s unusual because you’ve known him as the person heads home the second the clock strikes 5. He’s been extra busy lately and is working overtime – even strange hours. He spends extra hours with co-workers and volunteers to travel out of town on assignments.
And he seems very enthusiastic when he does.
Work affairs are very common, considering how much time we spend working together in one room or building. He might mention a “friend” to dispel any suspicions. He might even ask you to meet her in person because they “talk about you a lot.” He assures you that this “coworker” is just a friend and he’s just helping her to get over her past relationship or to improve at work.
And he quickly turns it off when you enter the room.
We know privacy is important, but the way he hides his phone from you seems suspicious. He often sets it to airplane mode. He never even shows you pictures or videos on his own phone. Suddenly, there’s a password.
If you have to use it for whatever reason like if you have to call someone, it hard for him to lend it. He says he’s finishing a game but the truth is he’s talking to someone. He glances at his phone first before giving it to you.
You find a lipstick he claims that belongs to her sister, a lady’s undergarment which, he claims, got mixed in from his mom’s laundry, and hickeys on his neck he claims are insect bites.
There are two sides of the story. Firstly, perhaps he’s getting attention from another woman that he’s no longer interested in sleeping with you. Secondly, maybe he wants to have sex with you more since his “other woman” is giving him sex drive boost.
Simple questions like “where are you going tonight” or “what did you eat for dinner” feel more like a series of interrogations for him. He gets really mad and defensive and even accuses you of being distrustful (when in reality, you have the reason to be).
He accuses you of seeing other men when you’re at work, or of texting your ex even if you’re not doing anything. He prohibits you from partying or going home late because you might see other men. He’s projecting his own guilt onto you, and he’s assuming you’re being as disloyal as he is.
Remember when he used to say how amazing you look in your black dress? How your red lipstick suited you? Or even how pretty you are even when you’re not wearing any makeup?
Well, that was yesterday. Today’s a different story.
Even if you exerted some efforts to look your best, he shows no interest in you. He never even notices you changed your hairstyle.
Whenever you’re nice to him, he says he’s not good enough, and that you deserve someone better. He even asks you, “are you still happy with me?” These are some of the signs he’s slowly letting you go. He doesn’t even have the guts to tell straight to your face that he wants to break up with you.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting,
When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.
Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.
Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.
Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.
Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.
Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.
Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.
Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!
Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.
Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.
Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.
Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.
Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.
Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.
Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.
Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.
Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.
Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.
Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.