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Category Archives for Relationship Advice

Listen and understand your partner

The art of listening

More often than not, couples face the perils of communication blunders these days. Surrounded by devices, we rely too much on connectivity to get through and keep in touch with our beloved ones. The truth is that, however useful, digital communication can inevitably lead to detachment and despair: flat batteries, signal flaws, miscarried messages, mobile phones left behind, etc. These examples are as frequent as irritating and may put the stability of your relationship at risk. That’s why, you must always remain personal and encourage opportunities for face-to-face conversation so that the one you love feels understood and cared for.

Seizing all chances

It is essential to establish positive bonds with the people we love through different means. Some may prefer to hold hands and simply wander round a park, while others could choose eating out and having endless conversations over dinner.

Either on the phone, sitting side by side while driving, peacefully strolling on the beach or even walking your dog, simple occasions may open up a whole realm of communication lapses from which you and your partner will easily profit. Mutual understanding will pave the way for the pursuit of projects. Goals will be set in a state of common grounds that will entice how each person feels and increase his / her motivation.

Understanding yourself

We must give it more important to seek to understand ourselves, rather than to do it with our respective partners. In a relationship that we have with our partner it is better that we slow down for a while, and spend some time reflecting on our own needs and feelings

For you, in a way, to properly attune yourself to your needs and feelings, you should give more due attention to your bodily sensations. This allows you to identically identify what is happening to you internally so that you can express it openly to your partner. Anything however trivial or disturbing it may be worth mentioning, both you and your partner will benefit from it, and your partner will certainly thank you.

Understanding our partners requires a lot of patience on our part, requires that you do not express your opinion for an approximate range of time, without interrupting our partner, you have to be as if you are entirely in paused. You should give your partner all the attention that she or he deserves, do not interrupt him every moment to ask him or her some question that has begun to be formulated deep inside your mind while your partner has told you everything it needs to be told. It really costs a lot to dedicate to our significant other excessive attention, it requires a certain practice, yet it is extremely valuable, and you could consider it a kind of gift, a beautiful gift that you make to your partner: a gift that allows you to your partner be seen as they really are and for what they truly need.

Tackling criticism

It is never too late to start listening. Throughout long-term relationships, some people are constantly whining and will complain about everything related to their partner. This might shed light onto dissatisfaction or uneasiness for not being heard. When criticism sets its roots within two lovers, it is often hard to get over crisis and recover the fresher and simpler sensations of the old days. Needless to say, both the complained-about and the complainer suffer as the conflict becomes stronger.

We should be alert and keep in mind we must give a hearing to our partner showing that we respect his / her opinion and will endeavor to please them as much as we can. The exchange of personal points of view is nothing to fear, it can be nourished as a healthy habit so as to mutually collaborate and improve the quality of the relationship.

 

You have to pick the right time to talk to your partner

Sometimes you need to be listened to when you want to express something that troubles you. But maybe your partner can be busy with something else at the moment, such as: Watching the game, cooking dinner, trying to sleep, any work that you brought to your home, or simply not in the right frame of mind at that time. If you realize this, just be patient and shut up to tell your partner what you are worried about or at a later time. If it is something extremely important and you want to communicate it to your partner, you can ask: “Is there time available to be able to talk?” And depending on the response of your partner you can settle for the following two options. Talk about what is troubling you, or wait a reasonable time to do so. If you are the listener, no doubt your partner would appreciate the same.

 

The need to know your partner well

You must be observant and learn to know your partner in order to understand what you are trying to communicate. For this you need not only partially hear what your partner tells you, but develop a great listening ability for your partner. If what you do is usually just to hear, in reality what you are doing is worrying more about what happens inside you during the conversation, and what you are going to respond to. Instead, listening means caring about the person in front of you and trying to understand the situation that is happening. I assure you that developing the ability to listen is one of the best gifts you can give your partner.

The importance of showing empathy

It is important to give a sample of understanding to our partner, one has to get “deep inside the skin of the other” as it is said, doing this will be able to better understand the reasons behind our partner need to worry, what can really feel your partner, and the need to make your partner feel that we can take care of them and ourselves for that matter. It is not a question of wanting to take advantage of the weakness that our partner may feel, but to convey the message that one is able to put oneself in its place. So we will be generating in our partner empathy.

Avoid prejudging the message your partner is telling you

You should listen to what your partner wants to convey to you, without any interruption except for an important question or additional comment that has to do with the message you are letting him know. You should never interpret the message from “your” point of view, instead of the point of view that matters is that of your partner to let it know to you the message and therefore their point of view.

Don’t get carried away and don’t overreact

Either that which your partner is communicating is serious or you do not have to take into account how difficult it will doubtless have taken you to have gathered the courage to tell the message. You should be very clear about the perspective, that of your partner and yours; do not alter, you must be calm, you must let reason prevail over a fit of fury. You must speak in a softer tone, in a given case even loving and tender.

 

 

Images: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Author byline: Article written by Martin, who is owner and writer of his Dating Website (www.russia-girls.net). He believes that online dating is great for connecting people from the whole world using new technologies. He enjoys learning about human relationship to improve and share his knowledge about online relationships.

 

 

 

7 Ways to Spice Up a Long Relationship

Long relationships can be a challenge for both parties and maintaining them will usually take some creativity and a lot of effort. However, relationships also vary from couple to couple and to know what needs to be done you usually have to analyze your relationship first. It’s important that both you and your partner are aware of the situation that you’re in and that something needs to be done to keep things going. So without further ado, here are some of the best ways to spice up your relationship and get it close to what it was when you first started dating.

Ditch the Routine

The worst thing that can happen to your passion is the daily routine between you and your partner, especially if you’re living together. Who packs the dishes and who does the laundry can be a real downer and something you need to forget about for a while. This also applies to your bedroom, as sex sometimes becomes something that you just do without investing a lot of yourself in it. A good place to start is to start seducing your partner at times you don’t usually do. Getting intimate outside of the comfortable hours is an important thing, which is why we’re all attracted to unexpected. Also, there’s no reason why your bedroom should be the only place for your intimacy.

Travel Together

Like we previously stated, new places can be quite a stimulator when it comes to long relationships. Traveling to a destination where you’ve never been before will make you walk the streets together and do the things you might’ve forgotten about. Not to mention that you’ll have the needed time only for the two of you, which in itself is enough to get on this list. Romance takes effort, and anything new you do will inevitably affect it. Take your partner to a dinner or go to an event in the place you’ve picked as your travel destination and you’ll immediately see the difference.

Redecorate Your Bedroom

The bedroom is the most important room in one’s relationship and it should be treated as a shrine of sorts. Try to get rid of everything that serves as a distraction and you should have an easier time seducing your partner. It’s not always easy to set up your bedroom to be sexy and the most important thing about it is to really know and care about your partner. Long lasting relationships are all about respecting other’s wishes as well, so make sure you redecorate the room with that in mind and from there you’ll have an easier time spicing things up.

Dress Up For the Occasion

Remember the time when you took quite some time to dress when you were going on a date with your dear? The fact is, as time passes by and as our partner gets to know us, we usually invest less effort into looking great. Actually, looking like we’ve invested a lot of time in it. And not only that, but it’s also important to dress in a way that tickles your partner’s imagination. Bring out the unexpected look you’ve always wanted and take it a few steps further. Sometimes you can do this with your clothes, but it’s usually better just to go shopping and get something completely new.

Be Unpredictable

Some people enjoy being in their comfort zone, but most of us get more excited about the things that take us by surprise. Whether it’s sexting, or taking your partner to a striptease bar, you should always try to show that they don’t know everything about you. Being unpredictable can be difficult at times and it certainly takes some practice to get it right, but don’t be afraid to do it because of that. If your partner can guess what you’re doing at every point of the day then you’re clearly not doing something right. Intrigue is the name of the game here and it can be quite powerful when it comes to maintaining a relationship.

Roleplay

It might sound silly to you at first, but everyone loves roleplay. Not the act itself, but every single person had a crush on something or someone. Again, it’s important to know what your partner likes but it’s also important to take them up by surprise when you actually go on and do it. Whether you dress up as a maid or play the part of a naughty nurse, it’s up to you to figure out which one will work the best. It will put a giant smile on your partner’s face and he’ll immediately know that you’re a keeper. Don’t be shy, if you can share a bathroom you can also act a little bit.

Go Naughty

Alright, it’s time to put it out in the open. Sex life can be a disaster if it’s just happening the same way from day to day. Most of us still nurture a crush or two for a favorite actor or an actress and we’d love to have a chance to be with them. But you probably also love your partner and you want to build a long-lasting relationship, so it’s time to bring out the big guns. Here are some of the tips to really get things going in the bedroom.

  • Sex Toys – I know what you’re thinking, but these can be quite a game changer when used by couples. Go to a sex shop together and find the ones you’d love to test out together. If you can’t even talk about it with your partner, it might already be too late.
  • Hire Some Company – For the brave couples out there who really trust each other hiring a third person through Liaisons Brothel in Sydney can go a long way in revitalizing your sex drive.
  • Outdoor Intimacy – Just hear me out – it doesn’t have to end with sex. By simply going towards it you can already achieve your goal and let things wrap up in your bedroom. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with it even if you go for the home run. You wouldn’t be the first.

Conclusion

While sex life is a big part of any long-term relationship, it’s also what you do and how you behave towards each other that defines a good relationship. By sending a simple smile from across the room you can do a lot more than by saying something. In a different situation, a quiet ‘I love you’ will send shivers through your partner’s spine. The most important thing to remember is to always do your best and try to do something new. Relationships are built, they aren’t a gift from the sky. It’s just that some people need less effort to maintain them than others.

I’m Currently Dating Two Men – Is That Okay?

I never thought I would be in a position like this. Five years ago my husband of sixteen years and I mutually broke up because we decided it was no longer working which was hard to admit after all that time together. After a long stint in which I have been single and enjoying time to myself I now feel like I am ready to move on, start dating and look for love again with the right man. It was a hard decision to even decide to date again because I felt if after a sixteen year marriage it doesn’t work out then what hope do we have? But then I realised that we actually weren’t happy for almost half of those sixteen years.

I’m back trying to find new love and have had a few dilemmas along the way, including this one which I’ve decided to share with you.

Dating Two and a Half Men

I took to online dating not long ago after “peer pressure” from my friends. I write peer pressure in inverted commas since it didn’t take much persuading from my friends for me to agree that it was the best course of action. I’m now a fifty three year old woman and even though I still go out and socialise with friends quite often, it’s rare that I would come in contact with a man on a romantic level. I also feel like time is running out for me (sorry for those who are my age or older who would rightfully disagree) to find love again.

It didn’t take long after I signed up before I got talking to someone, maybe about a week. But that didn’t get anywhere. I soon learned that it takes patience with online dating, at least if you’re willing to take your time to find someone you want to have a serious future with.

Having said that, after about three weeks I got talking to someone I can only describe as a gentlemen at least by the way we conversed online. But just like London buses, another man came along typically on the same evening. I thought there could be no harm in talking to two men online. Besides, at this point it was just harmless conversation and getting to know them.

Things seemed to escalate quite fast with both of them, not on purpose but organically. They were both extremely nice but seemed to have slightly different personalities. For example they were both humorous but in opposing ways. After about two weeks of talking online as well as by text messages to both of these men they both asked to meet up within a few days of each other. When I was asked by the first gentlemen, of course I willingly agreed to meet up, not anticipating that there was a strong chance of the second gentlemen asking me sooner or later. But I live my life in the present and don’t like to think too far ahead. Perhaps this was a reason to alter that logic and way of living as of course he did ask to meet up and suddenly I saw myself in a position agreeing to meet up with two different men in the space of a few days.

The reason for the title “two and half men” was because I then began talking to yet ANOTHER man online. But there was no hint of meeting up which is why I counted that as “half”.

Hard Decision

I now have a hard decision to make after dating both of these men and both going exceptionally well. I am no nearer to deciding which one I would like to carry on dating so do I carry on dating them both? I would like to think that at some point there would be a factor which would push me towards one and not the other but how long that takes is the concerning thing.

Like I said before, I have never been in a position like this before so it’s not something I would say I’m proud of. But perhaps I am overthinking and exaggerating the seriousness of this. Maybe I should just embrace it while I can and enjoy the ride!

Right or Wrong?

So here’s my question to you. Was I right or wrong to agree to meet up with two different men? What would you have done if you were in a similar position?

The way I have been thinking about it is that I was always going to have to let at least one of these men down sooner or later. In that respect I guess it was wrong of me to supposedly lead one of them on. I hate having to let people down.

But having said that, you have to be selfish in life sometimes right? Plus it was still early days and so I had to meet up with them to get to know them better. If I had stopped talking to one of them sooner then I would have never have known what could have been. In my mind that would’ve been foolish.

 

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How To Balance Work And Pleasure

Balancing work and pleasure can be a tricky task. Most of us are guilty of falling in to a set routine every single week. Before we know it a week turns in to a month and eventually a year passes by in the blink of an eye without having set aside time to enjoy our own life.
So how do we change that and find a balance between working and enjoying ourselves?

The older we get the quicker time seems to fly by. This is because we end up cruising in auto-pilot every day. We become so fixed in to a daily routine that we forget to pay ourselves back with time for ourselves.

Working 9 to 5, going to the gym, having dinner and going to bed is a very common example of a Monday to Friday lifestyle of plenty of seniors in this day and age or even for the younger generation for that matter. Snapping out of that routine can actually be very easy. It is just a case of making the effort to make new plans in the week and arranging to do something different. For example, going out for a midweek meal, going to the cinema or even meeting up with a friend for a catch up rather than going home after work and having the same dinner at home is a simple place to start.

Understandably, for some it’s a case of expense in that they don’t wish to spend unnecessary money during the week. But there’s no reason a midweek meal can’t be cheap and cheerful. For the sake of twenty pounds, it’s actually quite healthy to keep the mind active by going out for a meal and socializing. But what about those of us who are single and are looking for a partner to spend that time with?

When it comes to senior singles and relationships, many turn to online dating because it’s the only way for them to find other mature singles to spend their time with. But once they do arrange a date this is the start of a change in lifestyle. Pleasure begins to take a forward step and life can suddenly become a lot more exciting. Work no longer dictates the individual and Wednesday can become the new Friday. It’s hugely important for people of all ages, especially seniors to maintain this lifestyle when possible to remain mentally active and happy.

Don’t let work take over your life, experience some fun, meet new people and start smiling again. Visit www.seniordatingblog.com for more advice and tips on all things senior and dating.

 

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Dating Is A Patience Game

Have a little patience

Finding “the one” is rarely easy and to be honest it shouldn’t be either. What’s the point in settling for a mediocre partner in terms of your similarities and compatibility when there are thousands of single people out there. There’s no doubt in my mind that there is a person suited for everyone in this world but it’s just taking the time to find them. Dating is a game of patience.

Understandably, we become desperate sometimes to find a partner we can share our laughs, tears and experiences with but it’s important that we share those moments with the right person. After all, if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this person then you can forever have these moments to reminisce on.

Never too old

There seems to be a misinterpretation that once you hit a certain age that it is then too late to start dating or find the perfect match. Well that isn’t true at all. There are millions of people around the world that are single aged 40 and above who are still being hit by Cupid’s arrow and finding their true love. The majority of the time it’s over online dating websites because that’s the easiest way for them and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There are hundreds of senior dating websites online that you can use to slowly search for your ideal partner with patience. There’s no rush when you’re sitting behind a computer.

Taking your time to find the right person might seem like a chore but in the long term it will be much more worth it. The question you have to ask is would you rather settle for an average person that you find “OK” or take your time, have a bit of patience and find that partner that you love sharing your life with where your heart skips a beat every time you hear from them.

Is Your Relationship Healthy?

Balance

Image result for balance

It’s incredibly important to have the right balance in your relationship. By this I mean balancing the time you spend with your partner, your family and other friends. Spending all your time with your partner can be unhealthy. You’ll become in danger of potentially getting bored of them and you might start noticing the little things that bother you.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to spend time with the person you love but you’ll learn to appreciate them even more when you’re away from them from time to time.

Arguments

Some people think that if you have an argument with your partner then it isn’t a healthy and solid relationship. Let’s be realistic though, it’s probably the opposite. Unless you happen to

be very fortunate and never have misunderstandings or falling outs then it’s only natural to have arguments now and then. It’s certainly a better idea than bottling up all of your thoughts and not sharing your concerns with your partner.

Speaking from personal experience it’s far more beneficial to be honest with your partner, even if it’s over the smallest things. You’ll then learn for future situations what buttons are the wrong ones to press!

Love

This might sound daft but it’s an incredibly common occurrence in this day and age. The question is are you still in love with your partner? A lot of relationships are built on a solid foundation over time. However, some couples think they have to remain together purely on the basis that they have shared a lot of time together. But if the spark has gone, no one is benefiting from staying with each other for the sake of it. I’m certainly not insinuating you should get up and go when times get hard but it’s something worth contemplating if you’re not happy the majority of the time you spend together.

Online Dating Changed My Life

Around this time last year I decided to finally give online dating a chance after days, months and even years of deliberation. At the tender age of 43 I thought I was destined to be single forever, with a barely existent social life as well. I’m now over the moon that I stumbled across the world of online dating and specifically a mature dating website for singles which was perfect for my situation.

Early Life

From a young age I had always been driven by money and focused purely on my job week after week until before I knew it half my life seemed to pass by in a flash. Suddenly I took a step back for a minute to evaluate what I was doing with my life and what sort of future I would have if I carried on down this same path. I certainly wouldn’t say I had a midlife crisis but I quickly realised that there were other priorities ahead of work and money that life has to offer which I still hadn’t witnessed yet.

I began to panic thinking that it was too late but I had plenty of reassurance from my family, work colleagues and seeing it for myself on TV that age is just a number. There’s nothing stopping a 43 year old man like me doing the same as a 25 year old man (to a degree at least).

Change

In the blink of an eye I began to change my ways, starting with a healthier lifestyle by eating cleaner and joining a gym.  I have quite an obsessive personality so once I have my mind set on something I pretty much go all out with it. So thankfully, the gym and eating well soon became a routine which wasn’t too hard to maintain. But I also needed to start meeting and socialising with people too. I was so caught up and involved with my job that I missed out on making friends outside of work. The only people I spoke to looking back now were colleagues where almost all the conversation was work related.

I still struggled to find the time to meet new people even with my change in lifestyle. Even though I now set aside time for the gym I still didn’t really communicate with many people there. Most people in the gym have headphones in and are there purely for the health benefits, which to be fair is the main reason for their existence. It was difficult even finding a place where I would have a chance of finding a friend or partner, never mind then talking to them and getting to know them. I don’t really have any hobbies other than football but again that isn’t the ideal hobby to find a girlfriend in most cases.

Online Dating

At my age it isn’t easy to just go out and meet a woman in a bar or club. In all honestly, I feel like I would have been judged by younger people if I was out in the same places as them. That’s why I eventually gave in and tried the online dating scene. For some reason I had always been against online dating but I didn’t really have a valid reason as to why. I think it was a pride thing. I thought I was above it. Let me tell you now that online dating is not something to be ashamed about at all now that I have witnessed the immense benefits it brings. I wish I had done it earlier!

One night after yet another routine day at work, I decided to log back on to my laptop and started searching for dating websites. For the older generation more specifically since I didn’t want to attract people much younger than me and looking for much different things. I was looking to settle down, perhaps start a family, although the thought of actually admitting that was a little scary for me to comprehend. But that’s when I came across a website called YourMatureDating.com.

I decided to sign up that night since I thought there was nothing to lose and it was free to sign up. I browsed some of the profiles on the site and I have to be honest that I did see some very nice women that caught my eye immediately. But at this point I was still a bit skeptical about what I was doing. I logged off soon after that but I had got the ball rolling at least and had the right intentions to find a partner.

A few nights later I went back on and this time I messaged one of the women that I liked the look and sound of by her profile. She had amazing eyes that caught my attention because of the slight sparkle they had. Her interests too excited me. She pretty much seemed to have the exact same past I had, in that her work dictated her life.

Today

Two years on from that initial message and I am now engaged to her. I decided to propose recently and thankfully for me she said yes! Never in a million years did I expect to fall in love so quickly and find someone so amazing and so similar to me. I wanted to share my story so others in my position weren’t afraid to do the same as me. I am so thankful for online dating and I truly believe there are thousands of other stories just like mine out there too.

Today I am ecstatic with the way my life has panned out. From experiencing the ways of business and working hard for money to now looking to start a family I feel like I have been incredibly fortunate.

Four Truths About Marriage Every Unhappy Couple Should Digest

Nobody hopes to end up in a bad marriage. Every individual who yearns to love and be loved wants a marriage that lasts a lifetime – to grow old in love with one another until mortality parts them.

But things change through the course of the relationship. People change. Priorities change. Feelings change. Some marriages which are built with a solid foundation stand the test, while some eventually crumble like a house of cards. Some people part ways and move on upon recognizing it cannot be fixed, while some people decide to stay in an unhappy marriage, still hoping.

Do you find yourself stuck in an unhappy marriage? Don’t get me wrong – the lack of happiness and intimacy isn’t uncommon in romantic relationships. But if the cause of unhappiness is beyond repair and you feel like you’re wasting your time in a relationship that’s no longer working, maybe it’s time to face these four truths.

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How Technology Transforms the Dating Area

Casual, Simple and Harmless Flirtation

If potential wooers were to ponder some of the greatest, technological developments that have revolutionized the dating world over the past few centuries, they would primarily mention the genius invention of the automobile. This marvelous progression was first forged in 1886 and obviously replaced animal-drafted carriages for a more pleasant and efficient dating experience. Not too soon after followed the first black and white film in 1888 and obviously the actual movie theater to view these motion pictures in 1895, which created the ideal atmosphere to enjoy a passionate evening with a possible suitor, hand in hand.

Nonetheless, upon the dawn of “Generation Z” in 2001, mobile and wireless technology suffered a massive “boom,” completely altering the fashion in which people converse, get to know each other and meet up without the necessity of face-to-face courtship at first hand. Text messages, free messenger systems like WhatsApp and other online social networks like Facebook have stolen and flooded the limelight of our dating world (from America to Europe). Interestingly enough, now potential suitors have the ability to transmit “smooth talk” immediately without the nerve wrecking delay of a hand-written response via snail mail. Additionally, with the overall casualness of a text message, possible admirers could conquer their “prey” with a higher level of confidence and less initial pressure.

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5 Science-Backed Benefits Of Holding Hands With Your Partner

We often go to the extremes when we talk about spicing up a quite bland relationship. We think about taking a day off and escaping to a romantic getaway with our partner or sneak time to bring up the heat in bed. Oftentimes, we tend to overlook the simple things that can ignite relationships – and the solution may be found right at your fingertips. Literally.

Yes, the simplest act of holding your partner’s hand can create a deeper connection and stir an instant intimacy between the two of you. Humans are creatures of comfort, and there’s a scientific reason why you reach for your partner’s hand when you get upset, scared, or needy of attention. No matter what technique you use, whether it’s interlocking fingers or cupping palms over the other’s, we all know how good it feels to fit your hand into your loved ones.

The simple and sweet gesture has the power to affect your brain and physical well-being, which also positively impacts your relationship. Backed by science, here are some of the benefits of holding hands that will make you want to reach for your partner’s hands right now.

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