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The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!

Category Archives for Love Stories

Love-At-First-Sight

Does Love at First Sight Really Exist?

Feeling a little blue? May be a little lonely and single? Perhaps your heart skipped a beat as you saw that woman or guy saunter past you and now you are starting to wonder if love at first sight really does exist. Most optimists believe in love at first sight, serendipity, fate and all of the things that make our hearts go boom! However, there are those who will argue that there is nothing more to bumping into the love of your life other than being at the right place at the right time. No person can tell you what they think will happen to you, but they can only tell you about what has happened to them and what the meaning of love is.Continue reading

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How To Stop Money Problems From Ending In Divorce

In the list of Top 10 reasons for a marriage to end in divorce in the UK, money problems come in third. As observed by lawyers specialising in divorce law, money problems put a major strain on couples; so much so that in 2010 (the aftermath of the financial crisis) many decided to call it quits. It is difficult to keep the flame burning when bills continue to pile up, so if money’s too tight to mention, be aware of its potential to risk the stability or your relationship and take the necessary steps to ensure you and your better half are financially and personally stable.

Starting early

If you are newly married and you frequently argue about money with your partner, consider this a warning sign. Researchers have found that in the ‘honeymoon’ stage of relationships, “Arguments about money is by far the top predictor of divorce. It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money — for both men and women.” When you argue with your partner frequently, it is difficult to feel responsive and loving towards them. Worst of all, when you are stressed, it can be hard to find the mental clarity you need to sit with your partner, analyze your finances, and make a few necessary changes. Sound financial planning is key for couples at all stages of their lives but especially when economic times are tough. By working on resolving your difference and reducing tension at home, you can work on a long-term strategy together.

Sharing costs

Research indicates that equality seems to promote stability – especially when it comes to finances. Couples who feel that they are part of a team in which everyone contributes money towards bills can feel that they are being treated more fairly, than those who feel overburdened by having to assume all expenses. The truth is that although modern couples don’t necessarily aim to be millionaires, they do perceive that living on a very small income can be highly stressful. This is especially true when they are struggling to pay the bills or do not have a savings account they can turn to on a rainy day. Sometimes, households simply cannot meet all their expenses unless both partners contribute.

Money can’t buy you love

While it is true that financial stress can hamper a couple’s happiness, wealth is not everything, which is something couples should keep in mind in hard times. Research shows that overly materialistic couples fare worse than more spiritually inclined couples when it comes to communication, conflict resolution, and responsiveness. Interestingly, researchers have noted that the way a couple perceives their finances is more important than the actual money they have. By keeping your focus on the value of your relationship rather than the wealth you are building up, keeping that loving feeling alive becomes easier. Sharing tasks is also important. Couples as a whole seek some sort of equity, so that if one spouse works from home while the other works in an office, home tasks such as cleaning and cooking should be fairly divided.

How can you talk about money without causing couple strife?

If money objectively does have the capacity to destroy marriages, what steps can you take to ensure this doesn’t happen to you? You essentially have three choices when times are tough financially: you can take steps to improve your situation, avoid facing the facts, or adapt to a tighter budget. The first strategy – informing yourself, making changes to your budget, and creating a strategy for the months ahead – is the most proactive and arguably the most useful in the long run. Creating a Plan B for your future will help you feel that financial worries are all temporary and surmountable.

What stops couples from moving forward during financial crises

Some of the biggest problems standing in the way of couples include lack of (or too much) information, poor communication between partners, and poor time management or lack of time to do the research. Try to work as a team, dividing tasks if need be until you talk to the right people or find interesting information online. If you have kids, try to teach them the basics of financial literacy early. As soon as they are able to, they should learn about concepts such as loans, interests, credit etc. so that as they enter into adulthood, they refrain from buying things that are simply above their means, or borrowing more than they can reasonably pay. Scientists note that today’s young couples want a big wedding, a home, cars etc. but it is sometimes important to take things in small steps, opting to spend less so as to enjoy financial stability later in their lives.

Having a talk once a year

Get together at least once a year with your partner to have a ‘reality check’. Talk about old and new financial goals – including saving for a family holiday, paying off credit, or taking out a private pension. During this talk, you can agree to discuss (non-defensively) any concerns you may be having. For instance, rising interest rates might mean one of you is paying off a higher amount on a loan, and this needs to be factored into your respective contributions if you have different accounts. This is also a good time to bring up hopes and dreams. Is there an experience or item that would make your life a lot more meaningful? Is there a caprice you would love to treat yourself to? You might be surprised to learn that your partner also sees value in what you do. It is important to support each other as much as possible, so long as any expense incurred is not unrealistic or above your means. Of course, in addition to this ‘big talk’, smaller discussions should take place throughout the year.

‘Give and take’ is key when it comes to staying together ‘through the good and bad’. Partners can agree to see their financial success as a team goal; one that both partners do their share to fulfil either in a paid or unpaid fashion. By being aware that financial instability is a stressor, and committing to tackling it proactively, couples can ensure that strife is temporary, and that stress does not take away the most important thing they have: each other.

 

find love online

No Use in Fighting it or What I’ve Learned by Giving Someone a Chance

Down with insistence on how one can easily find love online. As hard as dating can be sometimes, many of us have good stories to tell thanks to the matchmaking abilities of our friends. Needless to say, kissing a few (or lots of) frogs in the process is pretty much a given, but at least it is all worth it in the end. This blind date story has a happy ending thanks to my friend D who set me up A out of the blue one early spring Saturday.

Blind dates are possibly even worse than job interviews because there are lots of interviews out there where you walk in knowing the interviewer or at least being acquainted with them. On a blind date, you don’t have the slightest idea who the person sitting across the table from you is. Sure, you’ve seen their photo and heard a short bio, but still.

In any case, I decided to give it a shot not really believing anything would come of it. I agreed to meet up with A one Thursday afternoon and go for a joint dog walk through the park, my Labradoodle Ben and his Weimaraner Romeo in tow. Side note: for a blind date pick, as neutral a ‘venue’ as possible, and if dinner seems too formal as it does to me, go ahead and take it down a notch. Since a dog walk can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours depending on how much fun you’re having, you’re going in with a bullet-proof exit strategy in case things turn out badly. And if they go well, you can tell all your friends (kids and grandkids included) that you’ve met by chance at a park walking your pooches!

I wasn’t taken aback by A immediately. It took me some time to really get his vibe so it’s not like this was love at first sight. He wasn’t really my type either. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and I’m a sucker for baby blue eyes, you know, like Cillian Murphy’s. Anyway, I was surprised how much we had in common and the more he talked the more I realized I really liked what he had to say. I was becoming more interested because I didn’t feel like he was trying to play me at all. He was just being himself, and pretty much everything he said was spot on. He took initiative, was smooth, and seemed to care just a touch about impressing me, which I found cute.

Then I realized he was cute! He had full lips and a beautiful set of pearly white teeth, something I never really pay attention to because I always look at the eyes. And his weren’t blue but they were just as deep. It usually takes a pair of pale blue eyes looking deep into mine for the butterflies in my stomach to start having a party, but this time it took a smile. Or several smiles, that is, one for every time I said something he was impressed with, like what my job was or which countries I’ve lived in.

We didn’t stay too long. After about an hour and a half, we said good-bye and went our separate ways. The next morning, he gave D, my matchmaking friend, a ride to my place because she needed to pick something up from me. Did I think this was just a ploy to see me again? Sure. Did I think it was lame? Not a chance because for a full 24 hours after our ‘date’ I was still drunk on the whole thing without having a drop of alcohol.

A few days later, he sent me his first text, and that was more than a year ago. He still makes me weak in the knees despite the fact we moved in together a few months back. I don’t know where D kept him all this time, but I know our encounter was definitely not by chance. I was meant to meet him and realize that you absolutely never know where or who is going to sweep you off your feet.

How to Say “I Love You” Without Actually Saying It

How to Say “I Love You” Without Actually Saying It

Telling someone you love them is a truly incredible gift, but, in the end, words are not nearly everything. True love and affection can be shown much more through little gestures than words. That said, there are plenty of ways you can tell your partner you love them without actually saying these words, but they will recognize your feelings and appreciate them for sure. If you’re looking for ideas that can help you brighten up your partner’s day and make their heart leap for joy, keep on reading.Continue reading

The 10 Habits of Long Lasting Couples

The 10 Habits of Long Lasting Couples

Do you know of a couple or several couples whose relationship seems unshakeable? The type that people say they were made for each other. They have been together for long and their love is still blazing and their relationship stable. They are still madly in love as if they met recently. Well, you may wonder what makes them remain so much in love. If you are starting a new relationship or wish to breathe a new life into your already existing dull relationship you may wonder what the secret behind those long-lasting couples is. However, you may even not have found your significant other and have no idea where to get him or her or how to go about. Do not worry; you can quickly hook up with your mate on some sites like https://www.happymatches.com  and end up with a life partner or a long-term partner.Continue reading

meet people online

Instagram is a Dating Site, too! Here’s how it works

Back in the day, there was a rather clear distinction between matchmaking platforms and social media sites. For example, if you wanted to meet people online, you had to make a profile on a dating site. Nowadays, that’s not exactly the case. Most people these days are using Facebook and Twitter as dating platforms, and up until recently, Instagram was the only app that wasn’t used for such purposes. However, after a few big changes, this app became one of the most popular dating sites out there. So, if you have Instagram and you want to use this particular app as a dating platform, here’s how it works.

The Stories Changed The Game

A few years ago when Instagram didn’t have stories, it was rather hard for people to know who is really interested in them, who likes their photos out of courtesy, and who’s actually “stalking” them. Today, however, stories are one of the main indicators that tell users who their biggest fans are. As you probably already know, once you finish watching someone’s story, that person receives a notification that you watched their content. So, by reviewing their notifications, users can easily determine if you’re just a follower or a secret admirer. Also, you can use this method to subtly state your intentions without being intrusive or straightforward.

Discover And Search Options Help People Find Exactly What They Want

It’s safe to say that the advanced and improved options like “search” and “discover” are helping people to find the perfect potential partner. The intuitive search engine allows them to easily track down any person they know, both in real life and via other social media websites. Also, if users want to find someone completely new, they can search the Instagram by using specific hashtags and they will find exactly what they’re searching for. For example, if a guy is looking for redheads, he can simply insert #redhead and #redhair hashtags and the app will provide him with a number of beautiful girls and photos on his feed. As you can see, searching for a specific type is easier on Instagram than on other matchmaking platforms.

Direct Messaging Transformed Instagram

One of the options that changed the game completely is, of course, direct messaging. As you know, at first, Instagram only had “like” and “comment” options, while messages and chats were reserved for Facebook, Twitter, and specialized dating platforms. Nowadays, however, Instagram users are able to send direct messages to their followers. Naturally, this particular option allowed people to contact users they are attracted to in a private manner. In other words, they can use the previous options we mentioned in the article to track down a perfect person, follow them, and contact them via messages. These intuitive and rather convenient options are the main reason why this social media site is now one of the most popular matchmaking spots on the Internet. Therefore, even though this network was never meant to serve this purpose, it’s safe to say that Instagram is now a dating app too.

10 Telltale Signs Your Man Is Cheating On You

Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.

In one of my previous articles here in Singles and Married, I talked about infidelity myths and mentioned some underlying issues which can be motives for cheating. I also elaborated on how disloyal partners a.k.a cheaters aren’t all the same. Some cheat physically, others cheat emotionally; some folks don’t know what they’re doing, others are just plain egocentric jerks.

Let me share you a true story: a month ago, I just discovered that my boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me with a co-worker he has known for nine months. Based on the pictures I saw and the drastic decline of affection I felt, I assume they’ve been dating for five months while we’re still in a relationship. He did apologize but he never asked for another shot, so I guess I know what he chose, or rather, WHO he chose.

Now that I have experienced an infidelity story first-hand, I can say that the article I wrote last January has more depth and meaning than ever. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of days, questioning myself what went wrong and what was wrong with me. Am I not enough? Am I unattractive? Then why did he do it? Then I recalled that even seemingly perfect relationships are susceptible to infidelity.

This time, I’ll share 10 common signs your partner might be cheating, based not only on my personal experience for the past months but also on the experiences of women who had fallen for the wrong guys in the past.

1. He suddenly becomes concerned with his appearance

You tell him countless times to eat his veggies and head to the gym but did he ever listen? No. However, these past few weeks or months, you notice that he transformed into a fitness-conscious person, not in a “do it for your health” way but in a “do it for your 6-pack abs” way.

Another sign is when he’s getting a little extra with his clothing. He never dresses up his fancy attire when you go out on dates to impress you. Well, he used to when your love was new. But lately, you see him looking his best when he goes out with “the boys” or leaves for work. He changes his perfume. He shaves and cuts his hair too, which are unusual.

2. He spends a lot of time at work

It’s unusual because you’ve known him as the person heads home the second the clock strikes 5. He’s been extra busy lately and is working overtime – even strange hours. He spends extra hours with co-workers and volunteers to travel out of town on assignments.

3. He always talks about this new “friend”

And he seems very enthusiastic when he does.

Work affairs are very common, considering how much time we spend working together in one room or building. He might mention a “friend” to dispel any suspicions. He might even ask you to meet her in person because they “talk about you a lot.” He assures you that this “coworker” is just a friend and he’s just helping her to get over her past relationship or to improve at work.

4. He’s on his phone all the time

And he quickly turns it off when you enter the room.

We know privacy is important, but the way he hides his phone from you seems suspicious. He often sets it to airplane mode. He never even shows you pictures or videos on his own phone. Suddenly, there’s a password.

If you have to use it for whatever reason like if you have to call someone, it hard for him to lend it. He says he’s finishing a game but the truth is he’s talking to someone.  He glances at his phone first before giving it to you.

5. You keep finding weird things

You find a lipstick he claims that belongs to her sister, a lady’s undergarment which, he claims, got mixed in from his mom’s laundry, and hickeys on his neck he claims are insect bites.

6. His sex drive is totally different

There are two sides of the story. Firstly, perhaps he’s getting attention from another woman that he’s no longer interested in sleeping with you. Secondly, maybe he wants to have sex with you more since his “other woman” is giving him sex drive boost.

7. He gets mad whenever you question him

Simple questions like “where are you going tonight” or “what did you eat for dinner” feel more like a series of interrogations for him. He gets really mad and defensive and even accuses you of being distrustful (when in reality, you have the reason to be).

8. He even accuses you of cheating

He accuses you of seeing other men when you’re at work, or of texting your ex even if you’re not doing anything. He prohibits you from partying or going home late because you might see other men. He’s projecting his own guilt onto you, and he’s assuming you’re being as disloyal as he is.

9. He shows no sign of interest in you

Remember when he used to say how amazing you look in your black dress? How your red lipstick suited you? Or even how pretty you are even when you’re not wearing any makeup?

Well, that was yesterday. Today’s a different story.

Even if you exerted some efforts to look your best, he shows no interest in you. He never even notices you changed your hairstyle.

10. He indirectly pushes you away

Whenever you’re nice to him, he says he’s not good enough, and that you deserve someone better. He even asks you, “are you still happy with me?” These are some of the signs he’s slowly letting you go. He doesn’t even have the guts to tell straight to your face that he wants to break up with you.

Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. When she’s not using her pen in writing self-help articles focused on love, dating, and relationships, she spends her time creating poems and screenplays, painting,

9 Differences between Being Single And Married

When people are single, they tend to go out every night in search of a hot one night stand or a crazy adventure. However, once they get married, they simply have to settle down and spend their nights browsing through celebrity Snapchats or watching movies with their better half. Besides nightlife, there are many other big differences between being single and being married. Check out the 9 most significant ones.

  1. Clothing And Style

Single: When people are single, they’re constantly trying to impress everyone around them in order to attract a mate. Clothing and overall style are two very important factors when it comes to this particular mission. Both men and women are almost always well-dressed. Some singles even exaggerate with this and can develop sort of an outfit obsession, so to say, because they believe they have to look their best all the time, especially if they’re actively seeking a relationship.

Married: On the other hand, when they finally get married, men and women are not that obsessed with fashion trends anymore. Most ladies get rid of those high heels in exchange for comfy and warm footwear. The case is no different for guys either. They swap those tight jeans for baggy and comfortable sweatpants. Still, it’s not okay to get overly comfortable as well, as it’s proved that dressing up and looking sexy here and there can reignite the flame and keep your sex life in check.

  1. Parties

Single: Let’s be real, most single people are constantly trying to crash some party in order to score a hot date or a one night stand. They are full of energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, they are often the initiators of such events and are more likely to host them so it’s safe to say that going to parties is their favorite activity.

Married: However, married couples are avoiding parties as much as possible. They will go to certain events simply out of the respect for the hosts, but they will always look for the opportunity to leave the party early and have a nice quiet evening at home.

  1. Exercising

Single: Bachelors and bachelorettes are constantly trying to stay in shape. And while it certainly can be explained by their need to improve health and increase the overall energy levels, it also has a hidden, biological background that is closely related to their sexual self-esteem – They need to look good in order to impress other singles and this is something that a regular exercising can provide.

Married: Gals and lads who are taken don’t even think about physical activity. They simply don’t have enough time and motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. They have found their soul-mates, so their job is done. And while this is natural to some extent and can be tolerated for certain time, married people have to be aware that it can also be potentially harmful to a relationship itself, as spouses can develop anxiety or can experience decreased energy levels. This can have a direct impact on their mood, which will become gloomy more often that it should be, so engaging in any physical activity that suits one’s personal preferences is always welcome.

  1. Spending Money

Single: When you’re a loner, you can spend your money recklessly. You can treat yourself on a daily basis and buy yourself some rather unnecessary things such as the 26th nuance of a lipstick (because you’ve missed that one in your collection) or a fancy new video game that will probably be on sale in a month or so but hey, you need it now!

Married: Reckless spending is absolutely impossible when you’re in a committed relationship or marriage. Moreover, everything is far more complicated when you have to plan for two, from monthly utilities and cell phone bills to food, clothing, and travels. There is also a possibility for something unexpected to happen around the house at some point so you have to save some extra money in case you need to call a plumber or an electrician, for instance.

  1. Hanging Out With Friends

Single: When you’re not involved with anyone, hanging out with friends is your number one activity. Most single people are ready to get up in the middle of the night and go out for a drink because they have all the time in the world.

Married: Wedded individuals are not that flexible. The majority of them don’t have time and energy for socializing due to hectic lifestyles, while others will make excuses not to go out. This isn’t good either, as occasional dates with friends can bring us a necessary dose of freshness and break the established routines.

  1. Eating

Single: Solo men and women don’t have established eating schedules and diets. They eat whatever, whenever, and wherever they want, including 1 AM meals in front of the TV while binge watching Game of Thrones, for instance.

Married: The case is completely different when it comes to couples. These people share everything and they plan their meals. They usually eat together and at the same time because it can help them save money and because it’s a kind of ritual.

  1. Date Nights:

Single: Bachelors and single ladies are always planning their date nights to the smallest detail. A romantic dinner, movies, and a long walk are implied. This has a lot to do with a fact they don’t know what their dates so well and thus want everything to be as perfect as possible.

Married: Couples are more relaxed. Most of the time they get out without a plan and see where the road takes them. They usually end up back in front of their TV where they can enjoy their favorite show while eating a delicious meal.

  1. Traveling

Single: When it comes to traveling, single individuals are rather spontaneous. These fellas and gals are able to pack a small suitcase or a backpack and simply hit the road without a plan.

Married: People who are married, on the other hand, can’t afford that type of unpreparedness. Couples need to organize a trip for two or more (in case they have kids), and that’s not always a simple task.

  1. Sex

Single: Sexual encounter is the most exciting, exhilarating, and a rather spontaneous experience when you don’t have a permanent partner. It can happen anywhere and anytime and it’s often filled with thrill of the unknown.

Married: This doesn’t apply to married people. They’re usually too busy to be spontaneous, so they need to plan ahead. Once you get married, you’ll know the exact time and place of your next “lovemaking session”.

Relationship Tips For Women In The 21st Century

Modern relationships are hard, no doubt about that! It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a widower, a young man, or a mature gentleman, being a successful woman and maintaining a fulfilling love life is anything but easy. We live in a rather fast-paced modern society where there’s no time to stop and rethink your motives, ambitions, and actions. This lack of time is exactly what makes dating extremely hard for women. If by any chance you have the same problem, make sure to stick around and read these crucial tips that will help you sustain a successful relationship in this chaotic 21st Century.

Don’t Choose Your Career Over Love

Nowadays, a lot of young women are sacrificing their love life in order to pursue illustrious and lucrative careers. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a successful business career, but completely neglecting your love life can cause serious problems in the future. If you focus solely on your job, you will lose that all-important touch you need to have in order to be good at dating. Therefore, you need to find a perfect balance between your job and romance. Don’t neglect your partner, include him in your everyday activities and allow him to share the load with you. This way, you’ll be able to improve your position at work and maintain a functional relationship.

As we’ve already said, it’s perfectly normal to want a good job and a successful career, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. However, what most people fail to realize is that jobs come and go, but true love is once in a lifetime. Sure, everyone needs money in order to survive in the modern world and the only (legal) way to obtain it is by working, but what is life if you have no love in it? Think about it.

Be Honest, Be True, Be Yourself

We live in a cruel world where people love to judge other people based on their looks, clothing style, and music taste. It’s almost impossible to be yourself and be accepted at the same time. This is exactly why you must not care about other people’s opinions. You need to be brave, honest, and true! If you manage to do that, men will be all over you! A confident woman is an extremely sexy woman!

Here are two possible scenarios of what may happen if you’re being dishonest about yourself while dating someone. In the first one, your date eventually finds out that you have been pretending to be someone you’re not the entire time, gets utterly disappointed and shocked with you and most likely leaves immediately. In the second, the lies you tell about yourself stick from the beginning, not allowing you to completely relax while you’re with your partner, making your whole relationship with him a lie. Either way, it’s not good.

Don’t Be Afraid To Express Your Sexuality

Anyone can be sexy! However, not every woman has the courage to express her sexuality! If you want to have a successful love life and find/keep your man, you need learn how to access your sexiness. Don’t be afraid to show off your physical attributes in a classy and sophisticated way. Feel free to tickle their imagination with sassy and provocative remarks. Don’t hide your wild sexual drive, use it to attract potential partners or keep your current one.

Also, note that there is a fine line between “knowing how to carry what you were given” and overdoing it. Instead of hiding your sexuality, like we have mentioned above, make sure that everyone (not just your potential/current partner) realizes just how hot you can be. However, don’t exaggerate and overexpress your attributes, as it may make you come off as “trying too hard” or even as slutty. Don’t close up but also don’t let everything run wild – stay in balance, just like with everything else in life.

Learn How To Listen

This is one of the most important relationship tips for a modern woman. Most ladies today are not able to have an open conversation with a man. They’re trying so hard to keep up with this chaotic world of ours, that they forgot how to communicate with the opposite sex. Listening to your partner is the crucial aspect of every relationship. If you don’t listen to what he has to say, how do you expect him to listen to you? Slow down and truly listen to your man. You’ll see that being in a relationship is not that hard at all.

If we’re being completely honest here, men really do have a one-track mind. When he’s watching the game, that’s all he’s doing. When he’s listening to you, once again, that’s all he’s doing. This also means that when he’s talking to you and letting you know how he feels and what’s going through his head, you should probably listen carefully because you don’t know when it’s going to happen again and it can be hard to make him talk about that stuff if he doesn’t feel like it.

Think About the Future

Dating is mostly about what you do and say right now, however, the end results can vary quite a lot depending on what you’re looking for. That’s why it’s important that you keep your goals in mind, no matter how serious they might be. Some people want to hook up, others are looking for serious relationships – regardless of what your target is, always keep it in your sights.

This mostly refers to marriage and kids. If you don’t want to get married in the near future and you haven’t even thought about having kids, your potential partner should know that. Furthermore, you should not be forced into changing your mind or your priorities, no matter how much you may like the person you’re dating. Love should be unconditional, which means no conditions should apply neither to you nor your partner once your relationship begins.

Hooking Up From Message No.1 – How to Talk to Women on Tinder

Although Tinder is a fast-working app and lets you meet people online for various purposes, it’s not like you can just ask for a blowjob right off the bat and expect a girl to accept your offer. Hooking up with chicks via this app isn’t as complicated as trying to use it for dating, but you’ll still need a certain dose of know-how if you want to persuade any woman to hook up with you simply based on your chat with her.

1. Patience, Patience, Patience…

You know how they say that patience is a virtue? While it’s most certainly not a flaw, it will be very useful in case you’re talking up a girl on Tinder.

Most failures in these scenarios come from male impatience. Sure, you aren’t supposed to waste your time on a chick who obviously isn’t DTF (down to f***), but you shouldn’t rush ahead and give up or try to force a hookup if there’s real potential in a girl who really is DTF but is playing hard to get.

2. Talking is Key

If a girl you’re chatting with doesn’t agree to have a one night stand with you right away, it means not only that she isn’t an easy chick, but also that she wants to make sure that she can be safe around you and have a great time if she hooks up with you.

This is why it’s important that you talk to a girl about things which aren’t related to sex. We know it sounds like a waste of time because you aren’t trying to marry this woman, but it can be really productive if you manage to assure her that you’re a really fun guy who only wants to have casual sex with her – nothing more, nothing less.

3. Wait for the Green Light

Once you’ve approached a girl on Tinder tactically and while still giving off a gentleman vibe and you’ve managed to get her to accept your hookup invite, you should get a clear sign from her that “all systems are go.”

It’s not going to happen every time, even if you’re the most persuasive man on the planet. When it does happen, however, don’t jump the gun – wait to get a green light for her, which will be obvious and without any doubt if she’s really down for it. Otherwise, you’ve got nothing to look for there, so move on to the next chick.

4. Keep Your Cool

So, you’ve got the thumbs-up from her and you’re taking things off Tinder and into real life. This doesn’t mean that you should immediately suggest bumping uglies with her as soon as possible – instead, keep your cool and be a man about it.

If she wants to skip all pleasantries and move straight to the main course, you shouldn’t have any problems with that. But if she doesn’t says it herself, suggest that you meet for a drink first, because the most important thing is implied anyway. Why not be a gentleman while at it?

5. Honesty Above All

Let’s face it – hooking up is a pretty standard activity nowadays. Not only is it completely fine if you do it, but in some cases, it’s actually preferable if you just hook up with someone instead of entering a relationship with them. This is why it’s of critical importance that you’re always honest about your intentions and wishes.

Pretending like you’re looking for romance while your only goal is to have casual sex never leads to anything good. Sure, it might work as far as getting a person to sleep with you, but you can rest assured that your true goals will come to surface sooner or later – and when they do, all hell will brake loose.

Instead of that, why not just be straight up about what you want and why you’re even communicating with someone in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a hookup, so try to be honest about it when someone asks you “Why do you want to be with me?”

6. Don’t Give Up

Like we’ve mentioned before, patience is a virtue when it comes to hookups (or anything else in life, really). This doesn’t only apply to actual communication with someone you want to hook up with, but also to looking for those who would interested in such an activity.

Thanks to the advances of modern technology, there is more than one way to find a hookup in the XXI century. Instead of just going to a popular club or bar, you can now sit down in front of your computer and type in a bunch of things in order to find the perfect person for a hookup.

Nevertheless, rejection still exists, even on the internet. You might get shut down a dozen times or more before you come across a person who’s even remotely interested in hooking up with you. This is actually pretty normal, because with online dating came a much larger pool of potential relationship and hookup partners, which is why most people won’t stop until they find exactly what they’re looking for.

It’s really important to always remember that you shouldn’t give up. Even if you get rejected 20 times, you should still keep on looking because your perfect hookup might be just around the corner.

7. Manners Maketh Man… and Woman

Although a hookup isn’t exactly a real romantic relationship, that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want and get away with it. Be polite and show that you care, because it might pay off in the future.

Instead of never calling or seeing a person you’ve just hooked up with after the fact, try and send them a message a few days later to check on how they’re doing and if they want to grab some coffee with you. This will help maintain that friendliness that all hookups imply and it might just turn casual sex into real romance – you never know.

 

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