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I never thought I would be in a position like this. Five years ago my husband of sixteen years and I mutually broke up because we decided it was no longer working which was hard to admit after all that time together. After a long stint in which I have been single and enjoying time to myself I now feel like I am ready to move on, start dating and look for love again with the right man. It was a hard decision to even decide to date again because I felt if after a sixteen year marriage it doesn’t work out then what hope do we have? But then I realised that we actually weren’t happy for almost half of those sixteen years.
I’m back trying to find new love and have had a few dilemmas along the way, including this one which I’ve decided to share with you.
I took to online dating not long ago after “peer pressure” from my friends. I write peer pressure in inverted commas since it didn’t take much persuading from my friends for me to agree that it was the best course of action. I’m now a fifty three year old woman and even though I still go out and socialise with friends quite often, it’s rare that I would come in contact with a man on a romantic level. I also feel like time is running out for me (sorry for those who are my age or older who would rightfully disagree) to find love again.
It didn’t take long after I signed up before I got talking to someone, maybe about a week. But that didn’t get anywhere. I soon learned that it takes patience with online dating, at least if you’re willing to take your time to find someone you want to have a serious future with.
Having said that, after about three weeks I got talking to someone I can only describe as a gentlemen at least by the way we conversed online. But just like London buses, another man came along typically on the same evening. I thought there could be no harm in talking to two men online. Besides, at this point it was just harmless conversation and getting to know them.
Things seemed to escalate quite fast with both of them, not on purpose but organically. They were both extremely nice but seemed to have slightly different personalities. For example they were both humorous but in opposing ways. After about two weeks of talking online as well as by text messages to both of these men they both asked to meet up within a few days of each other. When I was asked by the first gentlemen, of course I willingly agreed to meet up, not anticipating that there was a strong chance of the second gentlemen asking me sooner or later. But I live my life in the present and don’t like to think too far ahead. Perhaps this was a reason to alter that logic and way of living as of course he did ask to meet up and suddenly I saw myself in a position agreeing to meet up with two different men in the space of a few days.
The reason for the title “two and half men” was because I then began talking to yet ANOTHER man online. But there was no hint of meeting up which is why I counted that as “half”.
I now have a hard decision to make after dating both of these men and both going exceptionally well. I am no nearer to deciding which one I would like to carry on dating so do I carry on dating them both? I would like to think that at some point there would be a factor which would push me towards one and not the other but how long that takes is the concerning thing.
Like I said before, I have never been in a position like this before so it’s not something I would say I’m proud of. But perhaps I am overthinking and exaggerating the seriousness of this. Maybe I should just embrace it while I can and enjoy the ride!
So here’s my question to you. Was I right or wrong to agree to meet up with two different men? What would you have done if you were in a similar position?
The way I have been thinking about it is that I was always going to have to let at least one of these men down sooner or later. In that respect I guess it was wrong of me to supposedly lead one of them on. I hate having to let people down.
But having said that, you have to be selfish in life sometimes right? Plus it was still early days and so I had to meet up with them to get to know them better. If I had stopped talking to one of them sooner then I would have never have known what could have been. In my mind that would’ve been foolish.
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I’m going to share my story of both my best and worst date which both took place in the last few years during my ongoing search for love…again. I’m still a single widow today but am convinced I will find another man to make me happy again, especially now that I’m back on the dating scene and have experienced all kinds of strange and wonderful moments in that time.
This time last year I had the most incredible date with a hugely interesting man who I met online. What made it so unique and memorable was that I had no idea what the plan was so the spontaneity of it was something I instantly loved. He picked me up from my house on a Friday evening after work (I trusted him enough to give him my home address through conversations online and the phone, he seemed very genuine). He knocked on my front door stood there with a bunch of flowers. What a start I thought, his romantic side evident from first sight.
Us women pick up on every detail when it comes to dating. From his well polished shoes to his nicely groomed facial hair I was definitely impressed within the first 5 seconds. And at the end of the drive way was a beautiful sparkling silver Porsche. Lovely!
As we sped off in his fancy car I had mixed emotions; nervous, excited and intrigued. As much as I asked throughout the journey, he gave me no insight in to where we were heading. I went along with it willingly as I trusted him. Strange for someone I had just met but he gave off that sort of vibe.
We arrived at a beautifully looking Indian restaurant which was next to the river and he actually reserved a table overlooking the tremendous views. It was a warm, wonderful evening too which made it even better. Looking back now it was quite a gamble for him to choose an Indian restaurant as it’s a cuisine which isn’t for everyone. Thankfully for him I wasn’t in that minority. The food was delicious and so too was the bottle of red wine that we shared.
The conversation flowed throughout the entire meal which isn’t always easy but we seemed to have so much in common from enjoying golf to having the same opinions on general affairs. It was all going so smoothly it felt so natural as if we had known each other for years. Perhaps this is to be expected from a true gentlemen but he also paid the entire bill which is a big tick in the dating department for me, not because I’m materialistic or expect a man to pay for everything, but because it’s just “the thing that’s done” by a man on a first date in my eyes.
If the date had ended there I would have been more than satisfied and content but to my surprise, again, we went to a bar just around the corner which played live music. My kind of scene! They played a mixture of songs, from cheesy classics to rock and roll greats. We continued to indulge in deep conversation and drinks which made the time pass by so quickly. Too quickly for my liking in truth. I wish the night hadn’t ended.
Sometimes less is more and as basic as this date may sound it had everything a first date needed; A gentlemen, surprises, food, drinks, music and even a first kiss. Little did I know that it would also be the last kiss with this particular person. To my devastation, he decided he didn’t want to meet up again. I guess it was too good to be true.
I’ve had several bad dates in my time from back when I was a teenager all the way up to now. But there was one stand out winner of the worst date which was just a few months ago. Dating is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. It’s very much a case of trial and error unless you’re lucky enough to strike gold first time.
This particular date that I went on was a complete and utter shambles. This time we planned to meet for lunch on a Saturday afternoon in a country pub, midway between our two houses. We said we would meet at 1pm and being the punctual woman I stuck to my word. He, however, certainly did not. He kept me waiting there for about 45 minutes with no communication during that time. The only reason I was still there was because I thought I’d make the most of it and stick around for a drink on my own having made the effort to drive there Nevertheless, being the forgiving woman I am I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and move on with the date.
With his apology accepted we got talking briefly but he seemed more interested in the food menu since he had his head buried in it. Now I’m a huge fan of food but I’m also a fan of manners and completely ignoring someone while they’re speaking to you is as rude as it gets in my opinion. Even more so if it’s the first 5 minutes of a first date!
It turned out that he was just generally a rude person. He was rude to the waiter on several occasions, demanding cutlery and then moaning about the food which was completely out of the waiters hands. Complaining to the waiter that there was too much fat on his gammon seemed pointless and ridiculous to me.
When we finally got talking it was all about him. I hardly managed to get a word in. It got to the point where I genuinely had no interest in being there and all I could think about was how much I wanted to get up and leave. To this day all I think to myself is “does this man really think I’m enjoying this date?” No one wants to be talked at for a whole hour, especially not on a first date. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly wanted to find out about him but he didn’t do it in the right way.
The icing on the cake though was when the bill came. He had zero intention of paying anything more than what he ordered. To my disbelief, he actually studied the receipt to make sure he wasn’t paying for anything I had ordered. To say I’m glad to see the back of him is an understatement. That was the end of that!
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Around this time last year I decided to finally give online dating a chance after days, months and even years of deliberation. At the tender age of 43 I thought I was destined to be single forever, with a barely existent social life as well. I’m now over the moon that I stumbled across the world of online dating and specifically a mature dating website for singles which was perfect for my situation.
From a young age I had always been driven by money and focused purely on my job week after week until before I knew it half my life seemed to pass by in a flash. Suddenly I took a step back for a minute to evaluate what I was doing with my life and what sort of future I would have if I carried on down this same path. I certainly wouldn’t say I had a midlife crisis but I quickly realised that there were other priorities ahead of work and money that life has to offer which I still hadn’t witnessed yet.
I began to panic thinking that it was too late but I had plenty of reassurance from my family, work colleagues and seeing it for myself on TV that age is just a number. There’s nothing stopping a 43 year old man like me doing the same as a 25 year old man (to a degree at least).
In the blink of an eye I began to change my ways, starting with a healthier lifestyle by eating cleaner and joining a gym. I have quite an obsessive personality so once I have my mind set on something I pretty much go all out with it. So thankfully, the gym and eating well soon became a routine which wasn’t too hard to maintain. But I also needed to start meeting and socialising with people too. I was so caught up and involved with my job that I missed out on making friends outside of work. The only people I spoke to looking back now were colleagues where almost all the conversation was work related.
I still struggled to find the time to meet new people even with my change in lifestyle. Even though I now set aside time for the gym I still didn’t really communicate with many people there. Most people in the gym have headphones in and are there purely for the health benefits, which to be fair is the main reason for their existence. It was difficult even finding a place where I would have a chance of finding a friend or partner, never mind then talking to them and getting to know them. I don’t really have any hobbies other than football but again that isn’t the ideal hobby to find a girlfriend in most cases.
At my age it isn’t easy to just go out and meet a woman in a bar or club. In all honestly, I feel like I would have been judged by younger people if I was out in the same places as them. That’s why I eventually gave in and tried the online dating scene. For some reason I had always been against online dating but I didn’t really have a valid reason as to why. I think it was a pride thing. I thought I was above it. Let me tell you now that online dating is not something to be ashamed about at all now that I have witnessed the immense benefits it brings. I wish I had done it earlier!
One night after yet another routine day at work, I decided to log back on to my laptop and started searching for dating websites. For the older generation more specifically since I didn’t want to attract people much younger than me and looking for much different things. I was looking to settle down, perhaps start a family, although the thought of actually admitting that was a little scary for me to comprehend. But that’s when I came across a website called YourMatureDating.com.
I decided to sign up that night since I thought there was nothing to lose and it was free to sign up. I browsed some of the profiles on the site and I have to be honest that I did see some very nice women that caught my eye immediately. But at this point I was still a bit skeptical about what I was doing. I logged off soon after that but I had got the ball rolling at least and had the right intentions to find a partner.
A few nights later I went back on and this time I messaged one of the women that I liked the look and sound of by her profile. She had amazing eyes that caught my attention because of the slight sparkle they had. Her interests too excited me. She pretty much seemed to have the exact same past I had, in that her work dictated her life.
Two years on from that initial message and I am now engaged to her. I decided to propose recently and thankfully for me she said yes! Never in a million years did I expect to fall in love so quickly and find someone so amazing and so similar to me. I wanted to share my story so others in my position weren’t afraid to do the same as me. I am so thankful for online dating and I truly believe there are thousands of other stories just like mine out there too.
Today I am ecstatic with the way my life has panned out. From experiencing the ways of business and working hard for money to now looking to start a family I feel like I have been incredibly fortunate.
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It’s been awhile since I saw him. When was the last time? Was it when we broke up? Was it when we tried to straighten things out last Christmas? Was it when he visited me? Or was it when I tried to check his Facebook profile? I can’t remember anymore. Good sign! I’m almost over him.Continue reading
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