The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
3.3 million households in the UK consist of cohabiting couples based on the Office of National Statistics. Cohabitation is something that has been historically controversial especially because of religious reasons and societal expectations. Yet it is now one of the fastest growing household types as more couples are moving in together for different reasons like cutting costs or taking things “to the next step”. It goes without saying that moving in with a romantic partner is a big deal and should warrant consideration especially when you are not just factoring feelings into the mix.
A lot of couples who decide to move in together can get swept away with the high of taking their relationship to the next level. They end up forgetting that they need to approach this with both feet firmly planted on the ground. Logistics plays a huge part when it comes to deciding where the couple is going to live. Potential living situations can get pretty complicated when each person has their own flat or home. Not everyone is willing to give up the space that they have worked to maintain themselves so opening up your space can be a daunting undertaking. Not to mention that it is something that involves a significant amount of planning.
It’s a conversation that you and your significant other will have to tackle early on. It is best to figure out who is moving in with whom or if getting specialised housing is necessary. Think about how the move will affect your commutes to work and if you need to sell or donate any possessions to make space for joint belongings. Consider what to do about re-routing mail to your new place. Talking about these points and many more will help give both of you a stronger idea of the logistics involved with moving in together. Strong communication will also lessen the likelihood of a cohabitation breakdown as found by University College London.
It seems that two-thirds of cohabiting couples in the UK erroneously believe in the existence of common-law marriage as found through a survey by Resolution. Despite having a lengthy or fruitful cohabitation, the couple does not have the same rights as a legally married couple would have. Each person must be aware of their rights before they enter into a cohabiting situation. This is particularly significant when one moves into the home of another. Even if the one who moved in helps to pay the mortgage, they will have no legal claim to it.
It is ideal to explore the legalities of your decision before you go through with it. For example, you can see if drawing up a cohabitation agreement before moving in is an option. Having a frank discussion about your legal expectations about sharing a mortgage or buying things for the shared home is crucial. If you are going to rent a property from a private landlord, it is vital to clarify whose name will be on the lease. Try to see if it is possible to jointly sign on a lease so you both share equal responsibility and thus share equal rights to the rental.
Never forget that the contract with the landlord will have legal ramifications if either of you breaches it or terminates it offhand because of a breakup. Let’s say you spend several unmarried decades with each other and one of you passes. Unless there is a document that says you stand to inherit, you will have no legal rights to it. It would be wise to consult with a solicitor before moving in together so you’ll know what you’re entitled to.
Disagreements about money are one of the common roots of breakups in couples both married and unmarried. You can even say that things are harder for unmarried couples precisely because they are mostly unprotected by the law. When you move in with someone, you ultimately agree to shoulder your partner emotionally, psychologically, and – yes – financially. That is, of course, unless you both have a drawn up contract that protects your individual financial interests.
Money matters often involve finding out who pays for what expense in the household. There are those that take a percentile approach toward dividing the bills. There are those that consider the earning power of each person. Only then do they pick which financial responsibilities are theirs. If your partner is going to open up an account under their name, you will have no claim to that and the same applies to them when it comes to your finances. It is of fundamental importance to clarify how the couple is to approach any financial responsibilities in the future.
Seeking a financial set-up that both individuals are comfortable with is the goal of talking about money. While aiming to split everything 50/50 might seem ideal, it does not leave much leeway. It’s not until the couple moves in together that they get a firm idea of how much their lover spends on hobbies and other unnecessary expenses. It is unreasonable to ask a significant other to pay for half when consumption and personal expenses are not evenly split. A good idea is to avoid dealing in absolutes when it comes to money figures. Also, don’t forget to be flexible.
Look To Your Future
Right now it would not be surprising if the couple feels like they are for keeps. Naturally, that’s how a majority of couples who have just brought up moving in together feel. The truth of the matter is there really is no telling what sort of future they will have individually and as a couple. That is why it is critical for each to cast a safety net for their own individual interests. Talking about legalities and finances may not be the most romantic topic to discuss but it is necessary in order to lay a strong foundation for the two people in that very relationship. If these are topics that you cannot broach to your partner at this time, it is important to ask yourself if this is a decision that you are still comfortable on making.
Cohabitation is often hard on its own, but it gets especially complicated when you share a tiny apartment that offers absolutely no privacy. However, living in a small space doesn’t have to result in an ugly breakup. Here are a few tips that can help you turn your tiny apartment into a real love nest that will only make your bond stronger!
Sure, you might know exactly what your personal style is, but how does it match with your SO’s style? Basically, anything you introduce into a small apartment will affect its general aesthetics, so you both need to put in some effort. Start with a solid idea of the space you’d like to live in (find images, discuss rooms…) and then keep your vision in mind when buying items. This way, you’ll have a coherent space that both of you love!
You can never have too much storage in a home, especially in tiny apartments that look cluttered as soon as you misplace one thing. But, your place must have plenty of weird nooks that can be transformed into storage in no time. Also, don’t hesitate to think outside the box. Will it look strange to use a pile of books as a nightstand? Yes. But, unless you’re ready to give them up, who cares if it’s weird.
Because our homes are getting smaller and smaller, there’s a whole new niche of furniture that’s multi-purpose, flexible or foldable. From foldable chairs to wall-mounted countertops to height-adjustable tables, you’ll be mind-blown once you start exploring the scene. All of these pieces adapt to different situations and allow you to use your space in many different ways.
Moving into a small apartment isn’t exactly the time to toss a coin whether to get rid of your 90s nostalgia combat trousers or not. There’s no way these are making a comeback, so toss them out! This is really a perfect time to donate and throw away things you don’t use, clothes you don’t wear and items that you don’t like. It can be crazy uncomfortable to purge at the beginning, but it’s so addictive, that you’ll have to stop yourself very soon.
Tiny spaces tend to become very stuffy very quickly, especially if there are two people living inside. So, make sure to air out your space every so often to replenish your oxygen supply and allow your brain to get some fresh O2. Another great thing you can do for your indoor air quality is to invest in an air purifier. Check out the Internet for ratings and you’ll find the best air purifier for your living situation because there’s a ton of models on the market. All in all, these bad boys can rid your indoor air of dust, pollen, mold spores, and pet dander while some even remove odors and cigarette smoke, so get a model that matches your needs and you’ll always have a fresh and airy home no matter how small it is.
This is especially important if you live in a studio apartment that has almost zero privacy. Luckily you can designate separate zones with room dividers, privacy screens or bookshelves. Creating different zones will give you and your partner to share a home while having ample space to breathe. No matter how much you love each other, being alone from time to time is actually great for your relationship.
Coming up with new habits and traditions is a great way to bring you closer as a couple and strengthen your connection with your apartment. No matter if you choose to dedicate 5 minutes every morning to couple’s meditation or decide to always have at least one meal together, it’s a big step towards solidarity and togetherness. So, make sure to really splurge on items that support your new traditions. For instance, you can invest in pro yoga mats or buy a big multisectional pan for quick couple’s breakfasts. These will not take too much space, but they will certainly help keep your new custom alive.
So, it’s more than possible to cohabitate in a tiny space without killing each other. All you need are good organizational skills, plenty of patience and some sense of humor and you’ll certainly make it!
Family entertainment means a mixture of fun, food and games and this is precisely what Dave and Buster’s serves to its customers. Today, Dave and Busters establishments are found not only in the US but also across the world that has set new standards in family entertainment accompanied by lip smacking foods. However, what you see today of the Dave and Buster’s establishment had made its humble beginning in the 1970s when Buster’s restaurant and Dave’s Slick Willy’s World of Entertainment operated as separate businesses with divergent concepts but located next to each other. Customers helped to bring the companies closer as they frequently moved between food and games. This led to a great friendship between the owners who embarked on the idea of fusing the entities into one consolidated business for offering all-around entertainment.
It took more than a decade to start the first Dave and Buster’s establishment in Dallas. Texas in 1982 and then there was no stopping for it. The popularity of the establishment spread very rapidly, and it was just a matter of time before it reached beyond the shores of America and touched the hearts of people at other places in the world where it made its presence felt. Dave and Buster’s serve selected menu of food that tantalizes the customers who enjoy endless fun and excitement from a variety of games and they keep coming back to the place time and again. Those looking for an ideal package of games together with a delicious combination of food and drinks all under one roof would not hesitate to become loyal customers.
Endless fun and entertainment
The attraction of Dave and Buster’s is irresistible. Now, it boasts of an inventory of state-of-the-art games that customers stay hooked to while enjoying mouth-watering food together with the most innovative drinks that is hard to find at any other place. From wings to steaks you can have your platter full of delicacies to whet your appetite, and their premium bar has liquors of all kinds stocked to quench your thirst. The most appealing aspect is viewing the games you play on a huge HDTV that reverberates with the epic sound that creates a stadium like an ambiance. As if it is not enough to please customers, they entice customers to indulge in more fun and entertainment by availing Dave and Busters coupon that offers attractive discounts. This article should help you to learn all about Dave and Busters coupons.
A marketing ploy that never gets old
Marketers have always aimed at wooing customers to engage in more spending by offering some upfront discount by issuing coupons of a certain value that they can redeem. Coca-Cola first tested the marketing tool with massive success in 1887, and since then it remains a high potential in attracting customers and increasing sales. The appeal of Dave and Buster’s coupon is ever growing to its customers who can enjoy more games and have more fun by redeeming the coupons. Being the least expensive method of marketing more than 50% of all retailers and brands offer some form of bonus or discount coupons to its customers that has enormous power in boosting sales.
With technological advancements that have turned the world digital, coupons are now available in the form of promo code or coupon code that does away with the need of procuring printed coupons. By entering the coupon code, online customers can avail discounts on their purchases. This is also applicable to Dave and Buster’s coupons that come with Promo codes.
Coupons are a great encouragement
Dave and Buster’s coupons offer a variety of discounts and incentives that trigger customer interest. From organizing parties for business or pleasure to providing an incentive for hosting a youth party online, the coupons can meet many kinds of customer needs. Many different types of coupons provide lucrative discounts or incentives for indulging in games and ordering foods and beverages. Coupons are now available online, and there is no need to hunt for it in Sunday newspapers and magazines.
As coupons are now available online, you can log on to the website that sells coupons, download it and get it printed. Traditional coupons are attractive, but online coupons are even more attractive because it can offer higher savings. Free printable coupons are also available.
People who want to have maximum fun with food under one roof would find Dave and Buster’s the place of their choice and like the topping on the cake, they would be delighted to avail the discounts and benefits by using coupons. For getting more fun for your money, you must avail Dave and Buster’s coupons that enhance the enjoyment and makes the food tastier.
There is nothing like saving money when you play games and gorge on sumptuous food, and this is what puts Dave and Buster’s apart from the rest.
If you are a single mom suppressing your bream to be a business owner, here is some good news. You can fulfill your dream with the easy accessible finds that are available now in the market for small businesses. These loans are specially designed for those aspiring mothers who do not have the required fund to become a successful business owner. However, you will need to know a few things first regarding the small business loans for single mothers. Remember, being a single mother and looking for a business loan, both are difficult but there is nothing to be disheartened especially when you have survived worse situations.
The life of a single mother is full of challenges and unpredictability as it is. It becomes even more difficult if you want to start a small business and keep it running as well. The business risks and operation are even higher considering their responsibility as a single parent. The consequences are greater and more severe if you make the wrong choice. Therefore, you as a single mother must know the how to figure out the best option for funding for your business. It will pay off well if you are fully informed about your options before signing on the dotted lines for the loan.
Where to start
To start with your business funding endeavor you must first know where to start from. Irrespective of the type of funding you choose, there are three basic things that you should do:
Consider government business resources
It is recommended that all single mothers seeking financial assistance for starting a small business contact the SBA’s Women’s Business Center. You will get all necessary information from these centers that also offer:
Apart from that, you may also consider other different federal government programs such as the Community Development Financial Institution Program, CFDI. This is the initiative of the Treasury Department and works with SBA. It helps single mothers develop their small businesses in the under-served communities but lacks access to any traditional financing. It is a tailored resource that offers innovative programs investing federal dollars along with private sector capital.
Different finance options
There are different financing options for single mothers wanting to start a small business such as traditional banks and alternative lenders.
But before you sign on the dotted line you must read the terms and conditions of the business loan. There may be several clauses and terms that may put you and subsequently your family at a considerable risk if you are unable to repay it back on time. Avoid applying for too many loans because each application will directly impact your credit score.
As for the alternative lenders, you must be more careful as the rate of interest in their loan will be higher than the traditional big banks due to your higher risk. Check the BBB rating before you pick one and make sure the reputation of the lender is solid.
A final thought
Give a final thought so that you are very sure before you take on the loan. Plan way ahead of the approaches to overcome the challenges by avoiding toxic people, being proud of being a single mom business owner, working harder and looking for someone who will support your dreams
In the UK as is many other countries, divorce, separation, and repartnering are the norm, with many welcoming children from their partner’s former relationship into their home to live together as a family. The latest report from the Office for National Statistics recorded over half a million blended families with dependent children in England and Wales, with 28% of these families having three or more children. Without a doubt, walking the fine line between parent and friend can be challenging for parents of new blended families, and it is vital for spouses or partners to manage their situation with a sound and united strategy, working as a team to ensure the health and happiness of every person living in their home.
What are Some Problems that Blended Families can Encounter?
Parentline Plus, a hotline for parents with family issues, reported receiving over 14,000 calls in a single year from step parents with stepfamily issues. Research by psychologist, Lisa Doodson of Regent’s University London found that stepmothers had significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression than biological mothers, as well as a weaker support structure. Common problems can include a lack of time (parents find that they now have to spread the little time they may have between more children); sibling rivalry (children may find it hard to get along with their step siblings or compete for their parents’ attention, fearful that they will be loved less now that they are not living with both biological parents); and territorial issues (children can find it hard to have to share bedrooms, bathrooms, toys, etc. There can be initial difficulties establishing territory and limits). Parents can also struggle to get twice as many kids to get to after-school activities and lessons, while work and other personal and social demands.
Adaptation Takes Time
Research shows that it can take blended families at least four years to adjust to their new arrangement. Therefore, if you feel frustrated or powerless when it comes to managing so much change, know that it takes time to get to know your stepchildren and to negotiate the many rules and routines that may differ considerably from your own. Be patient and use humour to diffuse tense situations, and use tried-and-tested conflict resolution skills to reduce tension and focus on issues that arise, looking to solve these issues one by one. As time passes, you will start to appreciate the benefits that being part of a blended family can bring to your life. Things may be a bit more chaotic than they used to be, but they can also be more entertaining and the presence of more rather than less people in a household can actually be a source of support in terms of time, chores, company, and other essential life factors.
Building a Strategy
Before you begin to live as a blended family, it is important to time to discuss routines and rules with your new spouse or partner. Uniformity must prevail in a home if there is to be peace in a blended family. Therefore, some feel it is logical to ask new children arriving into the home to adapt to established routines, bedtimes, etc. This isn’t to say that your spouse’s considerations don’t matter. During your discussion, you might decide that some changes will be profitable for everyone in the family. Equality should prevail, but you should not feel like you don’t have the right to establish norms in your home.
Deciding on Conflict Resolution Norms
When norms for conflict aren’t established, arguments can quickly escalate. It is important that once children are mature enough to understand and learn conflict resolution skills, that conflict resolution skills be learned, to make for peaceful, purposeful communication within your blended family. At a family meeting, you can explain to kids why using the right language is important. For instance, language such as “You always” or “You never” should be avoided, because they put the listener on the defensive and veer the discussion away from the actual problem you are trying to fix. The ultimate aim is for step siblings to see the family unit as a team. This way, conflicts can be seen as an opportunity to achieve outcomes rather than to ‘beat the opponent’.
Adding a Dash of Understanding
Be prepared for your stepchildren to utter, at some point during your life together, “You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my mom/dad.” Understand that when they say this, they are essentially telling you they are hurting, they are finding it hard to adapt, and they may miss their old home structure with their biological parents. For some kids, discussing conflicts should be left for when the situation is calmer. Take the time you need to clear your mind when you feel like you are frustrated. Go for a walk, do some deep breathing, or meditate for a few moments, coming back to your stepchild when the tension has diffused a little. Explain that you are not trying to replace their parent, but that as an adult in the home, you need to establish ground rules across the board, for all kids living with you. When you speak to them, use humour and warmth to help them feel loved rather than chastised. A warm embrace and a smile can go a long way towards helping children understand that there is nothing personal about rules; they simply need to be set for the household to run as smoothly as possible.
If you are about to start a blended family living arrangement, it is important to be realistic and expect a few teething problems, both on your part and those of your existing and new kids. You and your partner can reduce the likelihood of conflict by agreeing on ground rules and explaining them together to your children in a family meeting. Be prepared for a few territorial fights and tears at first, but be resistant, don’t give in, and always stress the importance of approaching problems as a family. Take complaints as a sign your new kids may need a little reassurance and extra time and attention and do your best to give them as much support as they need. Once rules, schedules, and bedroom arrangements are set, you can start enjoying the diversity and fun involved in living together, seeing conflict as an opportunity to learn more about your biological and step children, but also about yourself.
The financial status of single mothers is often related to poverty but it is not as simple as it seems. There is no reason to believe that single mothers will always have debt and have to suffer in silence having no one to support or ask for help. The rising trend and number of single mothers have raised concerns of government of different countries to announce debt relief programs and different others that will provide financial assistance to them in running their household and raise their children.
However, in almost all countries all over the world, family structure and poverty are often intertwined and is believed that nearly a third of all households headed by a single mom live in or below the poverty line. On the other hand, study reveals that it is only about six percent of families headed by married couples are officially ranked as poor. Most amazingly it is found that an about 45 percent of children are leading life in poverty who are without a father.
According to recent research, it is also found that intergenerational income mobility in the metropolitan areas is very low where there are a large number of single mothers. This finding has resulted in a fierce public debate over the meaning of the relationship of single mothers with poverty and debt.
The survey reports also say that cities that have a large number of single mother households tend to have a very slow and low upward mobility. In some areas it even has a clear declining trend as the number of single mothers rises. The statistical power and link of this variable between family structure and income inequality or mobility is stunning and even alarming at times.
The controversy in the issue
However, researchers have proceeded with extreme caution to establish this link and has emphasized on all possible factors to arrive at such a bold-faced finding. Still this happens to be the most controversial issues across the globe. The reasons are:
These issues are substantiated by several theoretical as well as practical examples by the critics. They argue that cities that usually have a large number of mothers who are alone and single have a less upward mobility. It is even seen for those families where both the parents are in the home. That means the channel is unlikely to have a direct effect or link due to the single mothers on inequality. It also nullifies the common misconception that single mothers always incur multiple debts and need to go through different debt settlement reviews and consult credit counselors to come out of debt but all in vain.
Difficult to make conclusion
No matter how tempting it may look to deduce from the tidy pattern of inequality so depicted by the researchers, it does not scientifically explain the relation. It does not even explain the fact that breakdown of marriages will always cause poverty eventually. Therefore, it is very difficult to perpetuate inequality with single mothers.
Therefore, the belief that frayed social values results in poverty suggests just the opposite. It typically argues against all of the wrong policy prescriptions. According to this argument, more emphasis is given on incentivizing marriage, teaching family values and convincing the poor people to get married to come out of poverty.
Argument for more economic analysis
Conservatives say that there is an immediate requirement of more economic analysis of the ‘causal chain’ regarding inequality in income and status of single mothers. In the meantime, they look for better explanation considering the explanations that are already available. At the very least, such efforts results in further scrutiny of the underlying conditions that may create a low social mobility for the single mothers.
They also argue that such findings when taken at face value will make people believe easily that the culture of a specific community is the primary issue and causation of such inequality. This inevitably results in blaming the single mothers due to their prevalence in that community. People will even cite that the absence of fathers is the primary cause for children being poor and are deprived of the opportunities to move up in their career in future within the specific community.
Therefore, it is high time to come out of the common misbeliefs and blaming single mothers in the neighborhood for high rates of unemployment, poverty, and incarceration having a huge impact in the economy and debt accumulation. It is unwise and even derogatory to think that a woman will get married only for economic security and have any values for the institution.
Moving into a new living space is always an exhausting process. There are so many things to keep in mind and so much physical work, it’s easy to become stressed out. Luckily, moving does become a bit easier when you’re not doing it alone, but even then, there’s still quite a lot of work to do. So, if you and your significant other are moving into your new nest, here are a couple of things that should help you keep everything under control.
If both you and your partner are employed, if you have children, or if you simply lead a busy lifestyle, give yourself time. It’s very hard to move in a day, especially when there are other things you need to think about. Plus, there’s always that issue of possibly forgetting things and having to go back for them, which is why it might be best to move things gradually. Of course, this might not be possible if you’re moving far away. However, if your new home is still within the same country, designate a couple of moving dates, decide which things you’ll move on which date, and inform the proper parties (your boss, children’s school, doctors, etc.).
Moving costs not just time but money as well. You might need to rent a temporary storage unit, hire a moving company, or pay for extra gas if you decide to move on your own. Moreover, you should also have a bit extra money in case of any financial surprises. This is why you should start saving up at least a few months before the move so you don’t have to think about it later.
As mentioned, if you or your partner own a car and have the extra time, you can do the move yourself. However, hiring professional help might be best simply because it would be faster and more efficient. After all, professionals know how to handle everything from fragile kitchenware to sturdier furniture items. For example, there are also companies that can help you with moving house utilities such as MyConnect. So, do your research, look at reviews, ask around for references, and there shouldn’t be any problems.
The first thing you should do as soon as you get your keys is – get new ones. More precisely, you should change the locks. Of course, this depends on whether you’re the owner of the apartment or the renter (some landlords still allow their renters to change the locks). Next, you should take care of the details – set up the internet, change your address at the post office, and change your mail address if you’ve subscribed to any delivery services. This would ensure that your stuff is safe during the moving process Moreover, if you or your partner work from home, your online work wouldn’t suffer during the transition.
While your home is still empty, take the opportunity to decorate it. Paint the walls, install new cabinets and shelves, polish the doors and closets, refinish the floors, etc. In short, if there is anything that needs to be repainted, sprayed, waxed, or in any other way restored, it should be done while there aren’t any physical obstacles.
One of the more fun parts of moving is figuring out the new layouts. Before you start bringing in the items, measure each room, and decide on the purpose. A good idea would be to draw the rooms on paper, so you can visualize them more easily. If you’ve done an inventory of your possessions, this would also help you decide where you want to place your furniture. Once you put everything on paper, you will have one less thing to worry about when your items arrive.
Big empty boxes are an inevitable part of moving, but most people don’t think about them until they start needing them. Luckily, they are fairly easy to find if you know where to look. Most grocery stores, clothing stores, and supermarkets have a lot of empty boxes that they don’t need. They can sell you the boxes for a low price, but if you ask politely, you might even get them for free.
If you and your partner have a lot of clothes, and you probably do, plastic wrap might become your best friend. Instead of wasting time on removing the clothes from the hangers and folding them, wrap them together with the hangers and pack them like that. It would take up much less space, and it would be easier to “unpack” later.
Organization is extremely important when moving, but staying organized can sometimes be hard when there are so many different boxes and things to pack in them. Not to mention the chaos of trying to find what you need after you arrive at the new apartment. Therefore, consider labeling different boxes by using different colors. Come up with a color-coding system, and use markers, post-it notes, colored tapes, or any other colored means of marking your boxes.
Towels, pillows, throws, and other linens usually take up a significant amount of space, which is why you should use that space wisely. So, wrap the more fragile objects into your sheets, towels, and other soft fabrics. This way, you’d keep your fragile items safe, and you’d save some money on bubble wrap.
Assuming that you won’t be moving again any time soon, you should use this chance to declutter. While packing, go through your things, and put aside everything you don’t need. You can sell or donate those things, and you’d save yourself some packing room. Think about what you want your new home to look like, and get rid of everything that doesn’t fit into that image. It’s a unique opportunity to restart your living space, so don’t waste it.
Moving into a new apartment can be a drag, even when you’re not doing it alone. So, give yourself enough time, plan things ahead, use the opportunity to prepare your new place and do some decluttering, and your new home will be ready for your fresh start.
Being a single parent isn’t easy at all. All the everyday obligations and expenses fall on your shoulders, so it’s very important to be able to withstand the pressure. Your children need you to be strong and positive, and here’s how you can achieve that and fight the stress.
Single parents often have a lot of support from the side that comes either from members of the extended family or even community groups like churches and single parent support groups. Don’t be shy to ask for help – it’s perfectly understandable. The help can also come from civic groups that will include you into your local community or even the school your kids go to. Just make yourself a part of something.
There’s nothing worse than parents undermining each other when it comes to their kids’ discipline. It’s the same with divorced parents – children need consistency and clear rules to thrive. It will be much more stressful for you and your kids to stick to the rules and don’t bend them when you feel too tired or angry – it will pay off in the long run.
You children should do chores around the house not just to earn their pocket money but to help you out, too. It will also make them feel proud of their contribution but it’s important for you to praise their efforts and recognize their help every time they do a chore. You are a team so you need to function like one. You can’t do everything on your own.
Yes, you have tons of laundry to take care of and a dinner to make but every once in a while know that you need to change your priorities from time to time. Leave all your work and simply be a parent – play with them, watch a movie together or take a walk to the park together. A functional family is the one where all the members feel the love of the others and their appreciation.
It’s possible to raise happy kids in single-parent families. The key is to make it clear for your kids that they are your main priority but don’t go overboard and make them feel like they are the sun around which everything revolves. This will help them get prepared for the real world. Children need to be learned how to balance between their own wishes and wishes of other family members. The needs of others in their family are as equally as important as theirs, so teach them to take that into consideration.
It’s easier said than done, especially if you have experienced a painful divorce or the death of your spouse. Still, a positive attitude will bring you a lot of benefits. Children can sense your general mood, so try to make it a positive one. The best way to fight stress is to get enough rest, exercise on a daily basis and have balance in your life, meaning finding some time for yourself. It’s ok to be sad sometimes -share it with your kids but let them know they are not the cause of your sadness.
Sooner or later different questions will pop up and answering them might not be easy – questions regarding the changes in the family or the absence of one parent. As unpleasant as it may be, your kid has the right to know the truth and it is up to you to find the right manner to convey the facts to them. You should answer in an honest, straight-forward and age-appropriate manner. Divorce isn’t an easy process and even though you’re going through some turbulent times, bare in mind that your kid also needs love, support and help to navigate through this emotional rollercoaster.
Raising a family just on one income or getting child support from your ex-spouse is a very challenging thing. Many single parents in Australia choose to deal with this aspect with the help of professional to guide them through this difficult situation. Doolan Wagner family law experts and others that provide advice to single parents know how challenging it will be to plan for your kids’ college or to budget your money every month. You need to make a long-term plan that could also include your retirement plan and even going back to school or attending a course.
When not having your life partner around, the trap many single parents fall into is relying too much on their kids – mostly emotionally, for companionship, support and comfort. As much as your kids are willing to offer these things to you, you should bear in mind that they have neither the capacity nor the life experience enough to fulfill this role. As challenging as this may be, you should pay attention not to depend on them too much, and not express frustration their direction too often. Instead, you should turn to the adult friends or to a counselor to help you re-build your safety net.
Try your best to schedule your chores, meals and bedtimes at more or less same hours – your children need consistency in their lives, It’s important for them to know what to expect and when. It will make them feel more secure while you will be far more organized. It will hugely reduce your level of daily stress.
Like everything else in life, adapting to a single parent life takes time. Both you and your kids will face challenges from time to time but you will be able to remain positive and calm and transform this new situation to a more enjoyable one for the whole family despite the obstacles if you stick to this list.
In a perfect world, every “I do” would be for life, and everybody would live happily ever after. However, because life, unfortunately, isn’t a fairy tale, divorces do happen, and they bring a series of question with them. What do I do now? Do I get an attorney? What happens with the house? Who gets the dog? What do I tell the children? In what is possibly the most uncertain period of your life, here are some pieces of advice to help you see it all through.
“I used to think that divorce meant failure, but now I see it more as a step along the path of self-realization and growth.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Even though this is an emotionally trying stage for you, you have to be able to think clearly. There are a time and place for everything, so while it is perfectly reasonable and even beneficial to express your emotions and lament your losses, you need to make a point of not letting your feelings cloud your judgment.
Think about divorce as any other kind of business – your marriage is essentially a contract that you want to terminate. You need to be objective about it and find the best way to do it. To be able to go through the process in the easiest way possible, you need to educate yourself on the laws and regulations regarding marriage and divorce in your jurisdiction. Use all resources at your disposal to gain as much insight as you can – the internet is overflowing with useful info, and you can always ask for help in any law clinic, free of charge.
You can deal with the divorce itself in several ways: by settling it with your ex directly, without any lawyers involved; you can go through a mediation process, or you can go to court if all else fails. If you and your ex, are still in an amicable relationship, and you still trust them, the cheapest way is to do it yourself. However, because the law systems are never simple, you and your ex might want to get attorneys even if you’re still in a good place. For example, in Australia, you can’t get divorced unless you’ve been separated for 12 months, but there are family mediation services in Sydney that can explain your options to you if that is too much time for you to wait. Every jurisdiction has its own separate set of rules, and sometimes it can be difficult to navigate them without a professional at your side. In any case, you need to choose the preferred method for yourself, based on your own unique situation.
Of course, there is more than just that. You need to consider the ways to share your property. Start collecting financial evidence of your and your partner’s situation, in case of necessity. Talk to your ex about dividing the household items. Make a list of everything that you mean to keep, and everything that you can live without, to make the negotiation easier. In other words, prepare yourself as well as you can, because a tiring process is before you, and you’ll be thankful for any head start you can get.
“There’s nothing like a family crisis, especially a divorce, to force a person to re-evaluate his life.” – Michael Douglas
If you have any children, the things are only going to be more complicated. It this case especially, it’s crucial to be level-headed and to try and be as civil as possible in all dealings with your former spouse.
The most important thing is not to let the kids be dragged into the dispute between their parents. Their parent’s divorce is already extremely traumatizing for them, so the last thing you want to do is add more stress to their lives by bad mouthing your ex or making them choose between the two of you. Regardless of your feelings, you have to make sure that the children feel as safe as they can possibly be, and you need to show them that you and your partner will love them, no matter what. Always remember, your ex is your ex, but they are a constant in your children’s lives, as much as you are.
…That are not your ex. The bottom line is that you need to feel secure. If your friends and family are giving you that sense of security and you don’t feel a need for a therapist, that’s great! If that is not the case, however, and you feel that everything is too much for you to handle, don’t be afraid of asking a professional for help. If it’s the emotional baggage, see a therapist. If the law is too complicated, find an attorney. If your attorney is a problem, you feel that they don’t understand you, or you’re getting the feeling that they’re playing you against your ex to prolong the process, fire them immediately and look for a better professional.
Even though it may seem that somebody has cut the ground from under your feet, try to hold on to the idea that every end marks a new beginning. You are starting the next chapter of your life, and no matter how scary it is, it can also be wonderful. In the process of divorce, try to secure a better head start for yourself and your future. Do not agree to anything that can be harmful to you in the long run.
Remember, the divorce only happened because the downsides of your marriage outweighed the upsides. That means that, by terminating your marriage, you’ve rid yourself of a toxic aspect of your life. However hard it might be, try to adopt a positive perspective. Try something new. Do that thing that you’ve always wanted, but never did because you didn’t want to upset your ex. Find the strength in the new beginning and don’t be afraid to change.
Telling someone you love them is a truly incredible gift, but, in the end, words are not nearly everything. True love and affection can be shown much more through little gestures than words. That said, there are plenty of ways you can tell your partner you love them without actually saying these words, but they will recognize your feelings and appreciate them for sure. If you’re looking for ideas that can help you brighten up your partner’s day and make their heart leap for joy, keep on reading.Continue reading