The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Relationships are hard work, and even the best ones require stubborn tenacity from both partners. However, not all relationships are meant to last. Some were never right from the beginning, while others have served their purpose and run their course. How can you tell if your relationship is worth fixing, or whether it is time to walk away? Here are 5 signs you are in the wrong relationship.
If you and your mate just had a big fight, it is normal to have trouble concentrating on anything else for a bit. Having a good cry or taking a long walk are healthy ways of expressing your emotions before talking out the issues. In a good relationship though, you know that both of you are committed to working things out. This makes it easier to put difficulties in perspective and avoid ruminating on the drama of the moment.
If you are in the wrong relationship, you probably spend a great deal of time worrying about your relationship. You might obsessively replay conversations in your head, looking for hidden meanings, become fixated on something that one of you said, or even start to dread being with your partner for fear of having another fight. If the negative emotions outweigh the positive ones over a period of time, it might be time to move on.
When you are in the wrong relationship, your perceptions will likely become distorted. You might read hidden meanings into innocent statements or behaviours, while minimising the things that are more serious. A common reaction to a bad relationship is making excuses or justifying your partner’s behaviour. If you constantly find yourself thinking up reasons for him to come home late, or apologising to friends for her cancelling plans at the last minute, your relationship might not be right.
Occasional personality conflicts are inevitable, and everyone has a horror story about a relative’s partner that they simply cannot get along with. So don’t read too much into one or two people’s opinions. Overall though, the people who love you want you to be happy. If your friends and family express strong dislike for your partner, or concern for your emotional well-being, take them seriously.
Do you feel like you are always apologising for conflicts that happen in the relationship? Have you stopped enjoying your hobbies and interests? Do you wish there was a way to fix yourself? In a healthy relationship, both partners encourage each other to be the best they can be, but in a kind and loving way that demonstrates emotional support and genuine pride in each other’s successes. If your relationship is unhealthy, you might feel like you don’t have a voice. Constant criticism, even in the name of “teasing,” minimising your accomplishments, or making you feel like something is wrong with you are just a few of the ways that your partner might undermine your self-esteem.
We all have gut instincts that help us tell right from wrong. It can be tough to separate your actual instincts from the effects of fear and doubt, especially if you have been hurt before. So don’t pay too much attention to passing thoughts, particularly those that occur to you during heated moments. When your gut brain really feels something is wrong, it will let you know.
When your relationship is wrong, your mind will wander to doubts even in the quiet moments. Though everything seems fine on the surface, you might start thinking about past loves or wondering how it would feel to date someone new. You might also begin to ruminate on things that have happened during your relationship, such as hurtful verbal exchanges or behaviours you can’t quite explain. If you start to experience these thoughts, take some time to sit down and truthfully analyse your relationship. You might realize that you are ready to walk away.
Looking for verifiable information on the science of attraction and relationships? We’re a neuroscientist and a biological anthropologist eager to help you put the Anatomy of Love to work in your own life.
With work commitments, busy social lives, and kids running around the place, many of us don’t get to spend as much quality time with our other halves as we’d like – that’s why taking a romantic getaway, just the two of you, is so important for relationships. Whether it’s a well planned out foreign holiday or a spontaneous weekend trip, romantic getaways can help reignite that spark, and they can also be great for new couples who want to discover more about each other. Take a look at our handy guide, which will help you plan and prepare a perfect romantic getaway that’s straight from the movies:
Deciding on a location and hotel for your loved up holiday can be tricky – there are so many places you might choose for your intimate getaway. Paris, of course, is considered to be the romance capital of the world, but there are plenty of other romantic destinations to consider – a long weekend in New York City, a sunny beach break in Spain and, believe it or not, there are plenty of romantic destinations in the UK, too! The Lake District, Cornwall, and the Cotswolds have been voted some of the most romantic destinations in the UK, perfect for couples looking to spend some relaxing quality time together without the kids, or for new couples wanting to get to know each other better. Look out for all inclusive holidays, where food, drinks, and activities are all a part of the deal, are also great choices, offering the ultimate in indulgence.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of your upcoming trip, but don’t forget to keep at least one foot firmly on the floor – while you may have butterflies floating around your tummy, there’s still housework that needs to be done. If you’re rushing out the door on Friday evening after work it’s very tempting to leave the dirty dishes and the smelly laundry until you come back – we’ve all done it – but walking into a messy, dirty house is a real buzzkill after such a romantic, chilled out getaway. Taking just a bit of time to get things straight at home can make a huge difference. You don’t need to spend hours making everything spotless, but there are plenty of housekeeping tips for your holidays available to help you clear up fast before you go. Your future self will thank you!
One of the last things to do before heading off on your relaxing holiday with your loved one is pack for the occasion. You’ll want to make sure that you have all the travel essentials, plus a few little extras that you wouldn’t normally take on a regular sightseeing trip. Romantic music to help set the mood is an absolute must, along with candles (or LED candles if you’ve decided to go glamping – you don’t want to set the tent on fire!), some fragrant massage oil, and a few aphrodisiac snacks like chocolate, red wine, and walnuts that you can nibble in the evenings. If you’re travelling by plane and have to stick to a strict luggage allowance, don’t bother packing too many outfits – you might not even make it out of the room some days!
Now that you’re all ready to travel, there’s just one final thing to do – relax! Romantic getaways are the perfect excuse to forget about work, take a deep breath, and just unwind with your loved one. For the next few days, it’s just the two of you. Bon Voyage!
We all want happy relationships, but there are only a few people who actually achieve the goal of living in happy, supportive and fulfilling relationships. There are way too many people who end up in relationships with partners that are anything but good for them.
Why do they stay in those relationships? Well, some of them stay because they believe that they don’t have any alternatives and others are deluded by love, without even realizing that they make the biggest mistake of their life. The uncomfortable truth is that both men and women end up in relationships and marriages that they shouldn’t end up in.
If you dream about waking up next to your soulmate and marrying a partner who is perfect for you, you should first think about whether or not he or she is really good for you. How do you do that? I am pretty sure that the following seven traits will help you to find out if the person you are currently dating deserves to be your future spouse.
I know quite a few people who are living in relationships in which they don’t feel any love. On the one hand, this is quite shocking to me but on the other hand, I can totally understand why there are so many relationships in which one or even both partners don’t feel loved.
The problem is that many people are not able to love. This can have various reasons. Maybe this person was hurt in his or her last relationship and decided to not allow deep emotions anymore. Maybe this person has never experienced how it feels to be loved.
Make sure that the partner you want to marry is able to allow love in his life. Otherwise, you and your partner will never feel truly fulfilled in the relationship.
Does your partner support you? I don’t want to know if your partner gives you a hug whenever you celebrate an accomplishment. I want to know if your partner is there for you when no one else is. I want to know if your partner holds you when you think that you are drowning under all the stress and pressure.
When I think about the girl that I want to marry I think about someone who is there for me during the good times and during the bad times. If you have a partner who is only there for you when you are smiling and who makes excuses to get away from you as soon as you are in tears, you should think twice before you marry this person.
Does your partner have the same goals as you? I am sorry to say that but if you are together with someone who doesn’t want to have children and who dreams about traveling the world with you, while you are ready to settle down and to raise a family it is nearly impossible that your marriage won’t end up in a divorce.
Unless your partner has the same goals and the same expectations as you have, you will have a hard time to maintain a happy marriage. Of course it is important to discuss things and to make compromises, but if your expected path goes in completely different directions you won’t end up happily ever after.
In order to maintain a happy relationship your partner has to trust you. This means that you have to be a trustworthy person. The fastest way to gain trust is to always be completely honest and to behave as authentic as possible.
On the other hand, you also have to be able to trust your partner. Trust is reciprocal. As soon as one of both partners loses his trustworthiness and his trust in the other person, the relationship is doomed to fail.
Be as honest as possible and make sure that your partner understands how important trust is for you. Be careful to end up in a relationship with someone who cheated before. This doesn’t mean that he or she will automatically cheat again, but the inhibition threshold is definitely lower when you have never cheated before.
Being afraid of commitment and being unwilling to commit to another person, even if this person is absolutely perfect has become an epidemic in our society. It’s all about being as individual as possible. There is no time for family, commitment and supportive relationships.
Today it is a lot harder to find a partner who is willing to commit, but if you are really interested in settling down you have to find someone who wants that. Remember that I told you how important it is to have the same goals in life?
If you are dating someone who is afraid of commitment you might end up alone, because his or her fear was too strong to allow a happy relationship.
Even the most fulfilling relationship has times that are not so amazing. You will have argument, you will have different opinions and you might even have one or two fights along the way. For people who are emotionally stable this is absolutely no problem.
However, if you are dating an emotionally unstable person an innocent argument could be interpreted as a reason for a divorce. Emotionally unstable people tend to dramatize everything, which can easily lead to rash decisions that they will regret later.
Make sure that you have an emotionally stable partner who won’t think about leaving you after every tiny argument.
Everybody wants to have a happy relationship, but the only way to achieve this goal is to date someone who is already happy without you. I know that it sounds counterintuitive but let me explain what I mean.
True happiness comes from within and even though a relationship has the power to increase our happiness level, it should never be the foundation for your happiness. Unless the person you are with is happy without you, he or she won’t suddenly become happy with you.
Find someone who was already happy before he or she met you and your chance to end up in an amazing relationship is much higher.
Finding hobbies you can share as a couple helps make a relationship last. Whether you’ve just found each other or you’ve been together for years, if you’ve not gone metal detecting together yet you should! While it might not be the first “couples activity” that comes to mind, metal detecting together has a lot of benefits for a couple and can become an activity you enjoy together throughout your relationship whether you each have your own metal detector or not.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80 – you can enjoy metal detecting. There are light weight machines, long handled shovels and more to help make this a pass time that’s comfortable and fun for everyone.
Heading outside together can take the pressure off a new relationship and can bring long-term couples even closer together. Since you can’t go metal detecting indoors, you can experience a range of outdoor settings together when you both head out to find treasure.
If you don’t go with your significant other, be sure to take a friend. Since you’re usually out exploring new terrain metal detecting is the safest using the buddy system.
By the nature of the way you use your metal detector you’ll definitely get some exercise. You’ll need to walk around nearly the entire time you’re searching for treasure. Plus you’ll use your arm muscles to swing the machine back and forth while you’re walking. And, you’ll end up doing some squats as you dig up your treasure onyour next date.
Once you have a metal detector (you only need one, although having two can be fun as well) and your metal detecting tools, you’re all set to have an affordable (read Free!) date any day of the week. In fact, metal detecting may even be one of the only date night activities where you could actually make some money instead of spend it.
Metal detecting with your partner can also boost your overall effectiveness by allowing you help each other with the metal detecting. After all, two heads are better than one! Working together you can –
The most exciting thing about metal detecting is discovering what’s underground and learning more about it’s history, and it’s worth once you’re back home. The only thing that’s more exciting than that is to find these unique treasures with someone you love.
As you’re out metal detecting together, you’ll have time to talk, discover more about each other, and find additional shared interests. Not only that, through metal detecting you may be led to other interests that are totally new to both of you that you can now explore together such as hiking, history, antiquing, coin collecting, gold panning, geocaching, gardening, and so much more.
Finding activities you can appreciate together is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you already have a passion for metal detecting, take your partner along with you next time. If you’ve never been metal detecting – try it with your partner. Whether it’s your first date or you’re just looking for something to do since the kids are gone, metal detecting is a perfect activity for any couple to enjoy together.
About the author: Michael Bernzweig manages MetalDetector.com in Southborough, MA. He has written extensively on the subject of metal detecting since the mid 1980’s. He has traveled world-wide in his pursuit of educating, exploring and advising others in the proper use of metal detectors. Outside of the business he enjoys mentoring students, being involved in the community and spending time with his family.
Love is an incredibly powerful emotion, even scientists can agree on that. But so called boffin wisdom goes on to insist that when we fall in love our bodies are aching and racing with hormones, adrenaline and pheromones – physical reactions driven by our oh-so smitten hearts.
Now wearing glasses doesn’t make me a scientist, so I’ll take their word for it. But after 26 blissful years with my husband, I can see why it’s way too easy for some people to undermine the very foundations of their loving relationship while innocently working their hardest to make it a long, strong, robust affair. Thankfully, we’ve always taken a different approach to ensure we build a relationship our hearts love which is why I want to share our secret with you.
You see, when you topple over the parapet and fall in love, you’re completely in tune with your heart. There’s no logic, no reason, no rhyme, nothing but your molecules communicating one on one with those of your heart’s true desire –the person with whom you’ll build a relationship your heart will love.
But then, disaster strikes. As human beings, all too often we go and screw it up!
Relationship mistake 101: having found our soulmate with our heart’s blind, raw emotion, we then try and build a relationship with our head’s logic, reason and rhyme.
Our hearts are immensely powerful, life-supporting bits of kit that only have two requests:
a) “Don’t clog me up by munching on too much fried cheese” – seems fair.
b) “Shut the brain up and let me do my job of ensuring you have a loving, committed relationship that lasts as long as I do” – seems a good deal, really.
If you want to build a relationship your heart will love, give it its head! That’s the secret.
And here’s the recipe…
A strong relationship that will endure anything and everything that it collides with in life relies on both partners being completely, wholly, totally open with each other. Sometimes, with the very best of intentions to keep from hurting the other’s feelings, it seems better not to say what we really mean – a nice sentiment, potentially. Unfairly though, all too often this leads to miscommunication which can pierce the hull of even the strongest relationship. ‘Open’ is strong because it says ‘I love you’ enough to tell you. Not being truly open and genuine will fall very short in the heart’s expectations. Only the real, heartfelt ‘you’ speaking is going to satisfy the positive emotions of a forever relationship.
There is categorically no room for dishonesty in a decent, loving relationship that has a future and no, I don’t need scientific data to back that up. Suspicion and insecurity will be rife when partners are deceitful or untruthful, even if this only happens a few times. The heart demands to know where it stands and any doubt will cause it to fall out of love very quickly. However, mutual trust built from honesty on both sides engenders feelings of security and commitment which is a better buttress to every heart than anything the Great Wall of China thinks it can show us about longevity.
Love isn’t blind – that’s just cliché nonsense. Love is priceless, not blind… loyalty on the other hand, oh now that’s wears a blacker blindfold than any knife thrower ever dared put on. Partners who build a relationship that’s truly loving and enduring are loyal beyond anything social customs, peer pressure or even authority could ever challenge. The person they fell totally in love with is still the one standing in front of them, five, ten, fifty years on. Hearts are strong, super strong but even they rely on the armor of loyalty for defense.
Want to see a heart leap higher for joy than it did when it first fell in love? Easy. Tell it that your love is forever. That’s it, right there, nothing difficult, no hoops to leap through, simple. A truly committed partner understands this is the cornerstone of a lasting relationship. Eliminating doubt that your heart will be held forever is the greatest possible freedom from loneliness and feeling incomplete. That’s going to let every heart take gold medal in the high jump, every time.
Seemingly strong relationships can fail on the track of love through the fierceness of competition between partners. Vying for dominance, recognition, even greater attention all seriously over challenge the heart which is way too busy trying to keep us upright, breathing and talking to be match fit enough to constantly beat an opponent who’s supposed to be a team mate – that’s so not going to happen, think about it. Truly regarding a partner as an equal in every area of life will build a stage where you both wear the crown, your heart will see to that. It will even make sure you’re super fit in the love stakes, now that’s a good deal.
Oh, life’s too busy. Way too busy, too filled with trying to get through the days, make enough money, put a roof over our heads, keep up with technology, blah, blah blah! And even though really decent, loving couples know that making time for each other is key to a lasting relationship, they can still fall short of satisfying the heart’s need for fun – pure, carefree, genuine fun. There’s no greater relationship stress buster, argument healer, love builder or memory maker than laughing and playing together. Fun is the ultimate detox than will keep a good relationship healthy forever. Seriously, you’ve got to go from the heart on this one.
Want to build a relationship your heart will love? Give it its head. I did and it gets better every single day.
Valentine’s Day is probably the most common day to be chosen by couples to when they’ll hold their wedding ceremony. And what’s even more fun in celebrating the wedding on a valentine’s day is having the utmost privilege to create a very romantic and sweet wedding style. Specifically, here are ideas on how to embrace a Valentine’s Day wedding style.
For the invitation cards, a heart, dove, butterfly or bell shaped card may be used for creativity. Add red and pink shades as well for the design in the card and use cursive font for the text. If you’re more innovative and want a cheaper way of publishing and distributing your invitation cards, use a digital one or an e-card. This is where you may even add your pictures together or a video as a teaser and invitation for the wedding to be sent through e-mail or shared in social networking sites.
Valentine’s Day is all about pink and red so you may opt to wear the usual white wedding gown with floral designs and diamonds while holding a bouquet of red roses. You may also clip a red rose on the side of your hair bun for a more passionate and romantic feel. Then let the bridesmaids wear pink or red dresses while the groomsmen may wear red bow ties or neckties.
A Valentine wedding would be perfect to be held at a warm and calm place like a beach or a garden. This is to accentuate the atmosphere of the bride and groom’s love and warmth for each other.
Light some scented candles with red or pink roses for the centerpiece of each table. Install warm lights or pink lights for a more Valentine’s Day ambiance. Put a red carpet for the entrance and exit of entourage as well and spread petals on the floor for a sweet dinner setting. You may also place heart shaped balloons for a dreamy feel in the wedding.
If you want diversity and a cooler wedding then you may choose upbeat songs to be played during dinner. This may set a lively mood to your guests for entertainment as well. But if you want to be more traditional, you may prepare a set of romantic and light music to be played in the background. You may also hire an orchestra or a jazz band and singer for a live music.
You would never go wrong in serving a fine dining set of food to your guests. Hire a restaurant that offers catering services with a menu that the attendees might like. For the dessert, chocolates and sweets are given so you may even provide a chocolate fountain where heart shaped marshmallows may be dipped.
The cake may be designed with flowers and hearts but you may also ask a cake shop to create a cake that is shaped and designed like a heart or any other significant symbol or item that is relevant to your relationship to be more unique. Red wine and pink cocktails may then be served to toast for the great event.
It’s Valentine’s Day and this is the perfect time to exchange some cheesy lines for the wedding vow. Share some memorable stories you’ve had with your partner and confirm your love for each other to be promised forever.
What better way to entertain the guests but to also prepare games where everyone may participate. For the singles, your wedding/Valentine’s Day may become the day they meet their future partners through the games like a match-making one. The invited couples should also take part by allowing the games to give more excitement to their relationship like testing their knowledge about each other or by asking them to reaffirm their love for each other.
Figurines are already quite old-fashioned and do not bring much happiness to guests. So decide on a souvenir that would both let the guests remember your wedding day and give them something useful for them. An idea is to give an item that is meaningful to your love relationship like an umbrella if you got to know your spouse-to-be on a rainy day. Then put a tag on the item to signify that it was the souvenir for the special occasion they attended. A box of chocolates will also do for a simple yet sweet remembrance for the guests.
Having the wedding on a Valentine’s Day is truly a common setup yet still a great idea for couples. Some may think it’s corny but wait until they experience and attend a romantic and inspiring occasion you’ll hold with these tips and styles. It will not only be a special day for you but also for the guests to realize the worth of celebrating the gift of love.
Julieane Hernandez is a freelance writer and a hotel and restaurant MANAGEMENTgraduate turned designer. She’s an advanced tri-athlete during weekends. She’s been in the industry for about 6 years now and She’s learned so much from all the experiences she’s been through. Follow her on twitter and google+ .
With New Year fast approaching, chances are life has gotten a little messy of late, what with all the excitement and seasonal get-togethers. It is also a time for fresh starts – including your love life. Whether it’s finding a new partner or reinvigorating your long-term relationship, change begins with tidying up your living space and scrubbing up your appearance. After all, a long year takes its toll on all of us, and facing the New Year is easier when you look and feel refreshed. This is the beginning of making an active change.
In general, actively seeking to look tidy and clean can affect your entire outlook and give you a positivity to carry you through the New Year. The Christmas break gives us all a little breathing space to make the changes we’d been planning to make all year but never got around to, like booking in a haircut or sprucing up our wardrobes. While none of things will actively make or break a relationship (that’s on you, we’re afraid) it can give you that boost of confidence you’ll need to approach a new interest or take the next step with your current partner.
You might also take some time to rethink your current look and make some changes. For example, 2014 was the year we reached ‘peak beard’ – and 2015 looks to be the year we’ll once again embrace the shaven visage. No one wants to be dismissed for a dodgy beard or told to remove it by a partner, so start the year by getting prepared. A good start for men would be to trim that beard into shape and face the upcoming year with neatened face fuzz, rather than a Mr Twit extravagance – after all you can always download a replacement beard from the Roald Dahl site if you really miss it.
Your surroundings will also play an important part on your outlook. A tidy living environment helps you keep a tidy and focused mind – and makes an immense difference to how your partner (or prospective partner) feels about spending time there. Plus, if you’re co-habiting, you probably already know how easy it is to bicker about even little household tasks, so a comprehensive tidying up session can actually do wonders for your relationship. Here are a few tips:
No relationship is based entirely on the state of your home or wardrobe, but by building up an all round strategy for self-improvement, you could start up or continue a relationships with renewed vigour – and face the new year with a lasting positive mind set.
Everyone loves a bit of romance, but it can be expensive to keep going out all the time. More and more, people are finding ways to create that romantic feeling at home instead. From a candlelit meal in the kitchen to a snuggle on the sofa, the home is increasingly becoming the preferred site for a date.
So how can you create a clean, clutter-free space to ensure the focus is entirely on your potential partner? Well, here are some top tips for cleaning your house before Mr or Miss Right comes over.
So, by just following a few simple cleaning tips, you’ve made a fitting backdrop for romance and a home ready to welcome your date. Keep up the cleanliness and who knows when those wedding bells will start to ring…
Our lives today mean that we’re so focused on our careers that many of us find the path to true love doesn’t always run smoothly. We’re so focused on other things that we blink and find we’re suddenly in our thirties and the things our own parents had by that age just haven’t materialized. Sometimes it isn’t through lack of trying; sometimes it is just because we haven’t had the time to commit.
More people are turning to dating websites to find their partner, or simply sometimes to find a companion or someone to socialize with. As far back as 2012, it was being reported that dating sites were coining it in the UK alone, with as much as £2billion is being spent on them, by people who were desperate to find the love of their life.
Not all dating sites are the same; anyone who has used them will know this. There are ones to avoid and ones that have great reputations – but what suits one person really might not suit another’s needs (or their pocket, if we’re talking in financial terms).
You don’t necessarily need to pay a lot to find love, but, if you want to weed out the shysters – the men and women who are perhaps only just after one thing – from the people who are truly serious about finding a long term partner to cherish, you will have to grit your teeth and fork out some cash.
The general consensus is that free sites are not all bad – but…you must be prepared to come across a larger pool of people, and within that pool there might be more than a few weirdoes. That’s the nature of the game.
You’d actually be amazed at how many people don’t use these types of sites safely or are surprised when they run into trouble. Having an idea of the types of sites out there and what they can offer is a good idea – as knowing how to be smart and savvy when you log into them too.
Before you commit, think about your profile too. Think about what you want to say, how you want to show yourself. Choose a decent headshot, or more than one, one really important thing that a lot of dating experts agree on is that your chosen profile photo shouldn’t show you drinking. Many people make the mistake of adding in a shot of themselves in a pub or in a bar with an alcoholic drink in their hand – this is a bit of an unwritten no-no. Use a full face shot, make sure the background is as neutral as possible and smile!
Some sites offer a free trial period, so you can see if you like the way they operate, before you commit. These tend to be quite user friendly and give you the opportunity to see how you can communicate with men or women you’re attracted to.
Lastly, there are paid sites – the ones you must join fully and pay upfront to get the most from. Most opinions seem to agree that these sites will have the more “seriously minded” daters on there, the ones who really are out to find someone to fall in love with.
The choice really is up to you at the end of the day, it doesn’t have to cost a bomb, but – if you want to be considered a serious dater, it might be best to bite the bullet, put your money where your mouth is and pay a fee to find fun and frolics with a like minded person.