The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
Down with insistence on how one can easily find love online. As hard as dating can be sometimes, many of us have good stories to tell thanks to the matchmaking abilities of our friends. Needless to say, kissing a few (or lots of) frogs in the process is pretty much a given, but at least it is all worth it in the end. This blind date story has a happy ending thanks to my friend D who set me up A out of the blue one early spring Saturday.
Blind dates are possibly even worse than job interviews because there are lots of interviews out there where you walk in knowing the interviewer or at least being acquainted with them. On a blind date, you don’t have the slightest idea who the person sitting across the table from you is. Sure, you’ve seen their photo and heard a short bio, but still.
In any case, I decided to give it a shot not really believing anything would come of it. I agreed to meet up with A one Thursday afternoon and go for a joint dog walk through the park, my Labradoodle Ben and his Weimaraner Romeo in tow. Side note: for a blind date pick, as neutral a ‘venue’ as possible, and if dinner seems too formal as it does to me, go ahead and take it down a notch. Since a dog walk can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours depending on how much fun you’re having, you’re going in with a bullet-proof exit strategy in case things turn out badly. And if they go well, you can tell all your friends (kids and grandkids included) that you’ve met by chance at a park walking your pooches!
I wasn’t taken aback by A immediately. It took me some time to really get his vibe so it’s not like this was love at first sight. He wasn’t really my type either. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and I’m a sucker for baby blue eyes, you know, like Cillian Murphy’s. Anyway, I was surprised how much we had in common and the more he talked the more I realized I really liked what he had to say. I was becoming more interested because I didn’t feel like he was trying to play me at all. He was just being himself, and pretty much everything he said was spot on. He took initiative, was smooth, and seemed to care just a touch about impressing me, which I found cute.
Then I realized he was cute! He had full lips and a beautiful set of pearly white teeth, something I never really pay attention to because I always look at the eyes. And his weren’t blue but they were just as deep. It usually takes a pair of pale blue eyes looking deep into mine for the butterflies in my stomach to start having a party, but this time it took a smile. Or several smiles, that is, one for every time I said something he was impressed with, like what my job was or which countries I’ve lived in.
We didn’t stay too long. After about an hour and a half, we said good-bye and went our separate ways. The next morning, he gave D, my matchmaking friend, a ride to my place because she needed to pick something up from me. Did I think this was just a ploy to see me again? Sure. Did I think it was lame? Not a chance because for a full 24 hours after our ‘date’ I was still drunk on the whole thing without having a drop of alcohol.
A few days later, he sent me his first text, and that was more than a year ago. He still makes me weak in the knees despite the fact we moved in together a few months back. I don’t know where D kept him all this time, but I know our encounter was definitely not by chance. I was meant to meet him and realize that you absolutely never know where or who is going to sweep you off your feet.
If you are over 65 and you have recently become divorced, when time has passed and you begin to feel ready again, the sound of starting over might appeal. If you have a small social circle and you don’t know where to start, online dating may be a good idea. A new study by Pew Research found that a majority of people believe online dating is a great way to meet people. Moreover, around 12% of mature daters reported using an online site at some point in their lives compared with only 6% in 2013. The fast pace of life in urban areas means that it can be difficult to meet new people with shared interests. The Golden Rules of Online Dating will enlighten you on the essentials of finding the perfect date while being honest and optimistic and enjoying the journey towards your new life.
Who can you meet online?
People from all walks of life sign up to dating sites to find the person of their dreams. If you thought you would never find someone who matches your interests, experiences, and abilities, think again! The fact is that ‘grey divorce’ – divorce in over 50s – is more common than ever before so there are many more interesting singles on the market than just a few decades ago. As noted by the Office of National Statistics, “In England and Wales, divorce is in decline – our most recent 10 years of data show a 28% fall in the number of divorces between 2005 and 2015. But older people are bucking the trend. In the same period, the number of men divorcing aged 65 and over went up by 23% and the number of women of the same age divorcing increased by 38%.” There are several reasons why people are getting divorced older. One is that life expectancy has increased considerably; people who turn 50 or 60 realise they have many decades left to enjoy life and wish to do so with someone who is compatible with them. Another important reason is the fact that second or third marriages tend to last shorter. This phenomenon leads to a higher percentage of single seniors.
What about non-age-limited dating sites?
What if you are over 50 but wish to not be defined by age? Some people can feel that limiting themselves to ‘mature dating sites’ can be limiting. After all, who is to say that the love of your life won’t belong to a different age bracket? The good news is that sites like Plenty of Fish have millions of active daily users. You can use an age filter when you are searching for a partner if you choose, making your search as wide or limited as you like. Ultimately, joining a site with a large percentage of active users is key, since it means your experience will be dynamic and that you will be getting messages and Likes/winks from day one.
What sites should you try?
Mature Dating UK is aimed at singles over 40 and 50. It does have a charge (ranging from a free three-day trial to £11.99 for six months?. The site has pretty cool features, including the fact that it allows you to upload many pictures and videos to your profile. You can flirt with users by sending them a ‘wink’, chat on the online forum, and send each other emails and instant messages. When you sign up, you will be asked to fill out a personality and lifestyle test. This will steer you in the right direction when it comes to finding compatible singles. Another popular site is Dating Over 50s. It encourages mature users to sign up and get to know other people with shared interests or hobbies. The site is free to join but you can also pay a small fee and enjoy membership privileges – such as sending and receiving private messages, chatting online with instant messenger, seeing who has viewed your profile, creating and reading dating diaries, and adding multiple photos to your profile.
How do seniors feel about online dating?
Research carried out by scientists at Swinburne University shows that older adults have taken to online dating like a house on fire. Some of the reasons that make this system so appealing include the difficulty of meeting other available singles in day-to-day life; the ability to find matches that are compatible in terms of interests and locality; and the excitement of meeting various prospective partners. The study showed that unlike younger online daters (who tend to date online for a brief period), seniors like taking it nice and easy, dating people for months before deciding to settle down.
Making the most of online dating
If you don’t find love as quickly as you’d like, stay positive and focus on increasing the size and quality of your network. The great thing about online sites is that they also allow you to meet friends on features such as online chats and forums. This in itself can lead to meetings that can indirectly open your circle and lead you to people who may not actually be members of the online dating site you are using. Some people find love surprisingly quickly; others wish to take it slower. Because your choice of partners is arguably one of the most important things in your life, being certain before making a commitment is key.
How to present yourself?
There is no point in using an old photo or presenting yourself as something you are not. The reality show Catfish shows how deeply painful and disconcerting it can be to be lied to by someone. Because your aim is to find someone that truly loves you, it is important to be honest from day one. List your real interests and hobbies; if you are a homebody, say so instead of trying to impress. You may be surprised to find that there are many people out there who appreciate the things you do – even if your ideal night involves snuggling by the fireplace and catching a great film on TV.
If you have just got divorced, online dating may be a good place to start once you are ready to meet someone new. Think about whether or not you would like to limit your search by age, and pick the appropriate site. Sign up on sites with many active users, and consider any membership fee an investment that will enable you to get to know others at a deeper level before agreeing to meet in person.
When it comes to dating, you should focus only on what would turn the other person on. Rather, think about the things that would turn the person off.
Major let-downs for women can range from superficial, such as physical features and hygiene, to absolutely offensive, like beliefs and manners.
If you’re a guy and is new to dating, here are 13 of the biggest deal breakers women share.
If you’re dishonest on the very first date, then there’s no way you’ll be asked for a second date. We all deserve truth and authenticity. Any kind of dishonesty, whether it’s as trivial as your favorite hobby or as extreme as your marital status, is an immediate red flag.
Women and men alike won’t be interested in someone who feels the need to misrepresent their age, height, marital status, occupation, financial stability, possessions, and vices.
If you’re always running late or can’t totally show up from time to time (even when you’re sending fresh, beautiful flowers) , your date may imply that you’re not serious, or worse, you’re self-centered. Time is precious, so wasting your date’s time repetitively is a strong signal for her to look elsewhere.
Nothing turns off a woman faster than a man who doesn’t even make an effort to look and smell decent and presentable.
Combed hair, clean, newly-laundered clothes, fresh breath and regularly brushed teeth, tidy nails, clean ears, washed hands, and pleasant (not even scented with expensive perfume) smell all over – are these too much to ask?
It’s not just a matter of being unpleasant. When a guy doesn’t seem to be taking care of himself, that could be a sign that he’s looking for someone to take care of him – and no, that shouldn’t be the woman’s problem.
There’s a fine line between being “carefree” and “lacking the ambition.” You don’t have to have big goals for yourself and for your future partner. However, you must have some goals and work to get close to that pursuit.
Being unemployed is a top deal breaker for women, especially if you’re still living in your mother’s nest. Not that most women can’t provide for themselves – unemployment implies you’re not where you want to be, thus are not stable both financially and emotionally.
Depending and living with your parents while in your 20s or 30s may suggest co-dependence, fear of commitment, and the lack of motivation and emotional maturity.
Smoking has long been considered as a major turn off, especially for non-smokers. But for some, dating a smoker is okay as long as the person is responsible enough to smoke in designated areas, control the intake, and work to curb the unpleasant effects like bad breath and smelly clothes and house.
The real problem occurs when the person has been addicted to smoking to the point it’s unbearable. Same goes with alcoholism, gambling, and drug abuse. Addiction affects not only the heart, lungs, and gut – it damages the mind, which can be a major relationship issue in the long run.
There are three types of men with poor communication skill;
One, the guy who nods at everything his date talks about, and answers only when asked. Two, the guy who doesn’t appear to be listening and fails to give feedback on what has talked about. Three, the guy who wants to talk about no one but himself and his greatness, disabling the date to speak up.
Isn’t it a bummer when you have spent hours to be presentable and your date has a divided attention because his phone is glued to his hand?
Smartphones kill genuine conversations – and relationships. When you’re on a date, gentlemen, it’s a no-brainer to free yourself from all your distractions. Forget checking e-mails, sports scores, or game night invites by your bros.
Excuse me? We’re not in the 1950s. If you throw these questions on the first date, then there’s no point in continuing.
There’s a fine line between expressing attraction and being pushy about sex. It’s all about the intention. Women looking for a serious relationship immediately back off when a man can’t shut up about how much he wants to “bed” her on the first date and it’s getting uncomfortable.
No woman can trust a guy whose IG feed is loaded with pictures of scantily clad party girls, vain gym mirror selfies, and photos of women he has dated in the past (or is currently dating).
Several children, multiple women, and complicated relationship or unfinished business with an ex – these are some of the “excess baggage” a man may have. To make it worse, some men with an excess baggage even negatively talk about their ex or children on the first date. These are deal-breakers since no person wants to be dragged into the unnecessary mess and drama.
A guy who is genuinely kind-hearted respects, not only his date but everyone in the room – including the servers and sanitary personnel. Experts agree: you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those in the service jobs.
Listen up: If the man yells and badmouths the restaurant staff, and is basically rude to other people, then it’s a red flag, revealing a preview of how he might treat the lady as they go on. Other red flags include road rage, failure to compromise several times, failure to accept blame, and manipulating behavior.
The first impression lasts, they say. But chances are, if a guy shows up with one or a few of these major turnoffs, he may not score a second or third date to redeem himself and score a potential good relationship with a great woman.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
First date…there are probably no other two words in the entire English language that stir up as wide of a range of emotions as these two. For some people, the words get them excited and get butterflies flapping around their stomach as they imagine the possibilities of finding love. For others, they incite cringing and uneasy thoughts of having to meet someone new for the first time.
Regardless of where you fall on that spectrum, everyone has one thing in common. We all want our first dates to go better and be less, well, cringe-worthy. In this article, I’m going to cover some of the biggest mistakes people make on first dates. Ideally, if we can correct some of these big blunders, your first date experiences are going to be much more enjoyable.
Before I even get to talking about what to do on your first date, I need to cover something much more important. You need to make sure that you are not setting yourself up for failure by going on bad first dates. What is a bad first date? A bad first date is one where you know it’s a bad idea before you even take the first step out of the house. Now, I’m not referring to those of you that think every date is a bad idea and plan on being cat-ladies or cat-men for the rest of your life. I’m referring to those of you that know in the back of your mind that this particular date is a bad idea.
How do you make sure you aren’t going on bad first dates? Well, it all starts with meeting quality people. If you’re struggling to find quality people, I highly recommend this How to Meet Quality Singles guide which will walk you through the steps you need to stop dating the duds.
Secondly, you need to give each date an unbiased look before agreeing to go on it. You do not have to say yes to everyone you ask out. You also don’t have to ask out every single person you talk to. I repeat, you are under no obligation to go on any date ever no matter what anyone tries to tell you. Start looking for quality, and you’ll already be way ahead of the ball before you even step foot out the door on your first date.
First dates would be lightyears easier if we were forced to go on them immediately after they were scheduled. The problem with the time between scheduling and going is that our minds are able to run rampant. We start to imagine every bad scenario that could happen and convince ourselves that is what it is going to be like. We start analyzing every little thing about the date until we are blue in the face.
What am I going to wear? Where should we eat? Is that place too loud? Is my outfit too confident? Do these shoes work? What happens if they don’t like me? Should I talk about my work? I could really go on forever. While some of these questions are important (it’s hard to go on a date if you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re wearing), most of them are just going to send you down an overthinking spiral.
Focus on the things that are important and allow the rest to happen. You do not need to plan out every single detail. In fact, doing so is probably going to doom the date from the start.
You’re a more positive person? Don’t have a problem with overthinking all the negative things that could happen? You’re still on the hook here too. A lot of people spend that time before a first date imagining the person they are going out with as the perfect Romeo or Juliet. You find yourself asking and answering questions about the person in a way that fits your perfect narrative. Do they like the same music as me? Of course, they do. Are they extremely compassionate? They must be!
While we hope that everything is true, it paints an unrealistic picture of the person we are going to meet. It puts them at a severe disadvantage because they now have insane standards to try to live up to that they aren’t even aware of. I can assure you that Mr. or Ms. Right is going to be similar to what you imagine in your mind, but they are not going to be exactly what you think you want them to be.
Don’t let someone awesome slip through your fingers because you have unrealistic and unfair expectations.
When we get nervous most of us like to talk. The silence is awkward to us, and we figure if we keep talking we know what is going to be said and nothing can catch us off guard. Some of us also show up with pre-planned questions and things to talk about.
Here’s the problem. This is a lot of talking and not a lot of listening. You’re creating a one-sided conversation that will turn off your fellow dater, and it also inhibits you from getting to know them at all. How can you find out if you like someone if they never get the chance to get a word in? How can you see if there is any chemistry if you aren’t allowing them to interact with you?
The solution here is one word. Listen. You have to actually hear what the other person is saying and respond to that. Don’t respond to what you imagined them saying. Actually respond to what they are saying. You’ll be able to figure out quickly whether or not you mesh well together and if there is any sort of a future.
Remember, the purpose of a first date is not for it to go amazingly. The purpose of a first date is to see if you and the other person are compatible. It is completely okay to go out with someone and figure out that you are not right for each other. One less fish in the sea to consider!
Seriously, this is probably the most important tip on the entire sheet, and that’s the reason I chose to close with it. You have to remember that the entire point of dating is to find someone that you enjoy spending time with. Yes, it can be a little awkward at times, but that’s okay. You have to endure a little bit of awkwardness if you are going to find that special someone.
Embrace the awkward and have fun with it. You can go out with someone you are never going to go out with again and still have a good time. I have fun with complete strangers all the time just because I approach all of life with the right mindset.
I am challenging you to do the same. Regardless of how the date is going, have fun. Enjoy your time even if it is awkward and then worry about everything else later. Van Wilder said it best, “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.”
Relationship Advice Guru
Because Bouquets Are So Passé.
If you’re surprising your lover with flowers, chances are you’re going to grab a presentation-style bouquet, which is pre-selected in a flower shop or local supermarket. Presentation bouquets generally look like this: a bunch of flowers tied together and typically adorned with dry waxed paper or floral tissue, jutte fabrics, and mesh ribbons.
They are nice and convenient, but they can be, well, clichéd and predictable – especially if you’re giving it to a long-term spouse whom you’ve been giving bouquets for years.
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing sweeter than receiving a handheld bouquet filled with vibrant and freshly-picked flowers of your taste. But wouldn’t it be nicer to receive flowers that have a dash of creativity and personality into it?
If you’re sending flowers for your wife, girlfriend, or special someone but you want to elevate your usual handheld bouquet and give something unexpected, here are 10 wonderful ideas to keep in mind.
If your wife loves both tea and flowers, then an English country garden-inspired teapot full of blooms is the best way to go. A lovely arangement of roses, daisy, and poms in feminine pastel-hued pots would definitely brighten up their day.
For a rustic, “fresh from the garden” look, use rustic watering cans. The pale, timeworn look of watering cans add charm to the arrangement of vibrant blooms. You may also loop wire around the handle so it can be hung on the door for a beautiful display.
You may use the same approach for ceramic mugs, painted bottles, and vividly-colored jars.
Love metals and vintage prints? Your recipient would definitely love blooms in old, vintage canisters. They come in different designs, from old-fashioned floral patterns to 50s-inspired typography and poster signages. Even vintage soup and coffee tin canisters elevate your floral arrangement.
Forget conventional vases and put old lanterns to use. Antique lanterns make romantic flowers arrangements, like roses, baby breath, and foliage, even dreamier. They also make a nice centerpiece for one’s home.
If your recipient loves a wild arrangement of pretty pastel flowers, then wooden containers, like crates, would make perfect vessels. Aside from roses, flowers like hydrangeas, lisianthus, and snapdragons look stunning on crates.
Bouquets usually come with a box of chocolates and other confectioneries , but wouldn’t it be nice if you give something sweet but healthier? Pair your fresh blooms with sweet edibles, that are also freshly picked – fruits. Flowers and fruits go well with each other since they’re both vibrant plants. They also make great “get well soon” gifts for a lover or friend who needs healthy munchies to recover.
Who doesn’t love mini versions of anything? Be creative enough to turn smaller floral varieties into cute mini bouquets. You may scrimp on size but never on beauty, since they look lovely when attached to greeting cards and love letters for your special someone.
If you’re overly cheesy and romantic, you can never go wrong with the classic heart-shaped floral arrangement. A heart-shaped arrangement of roses, which may come in one solid color or multi-color, make a perfect gift for Valentine’s day, wedding anniversary, and your loved one’s birthday.
Giving a floral wreath is one splendid way to opt out of handheld bouquet without losing the sweet gesture of “giving flowers for your love.” Floral wreaths look amazing, whether they are in bold and vibrant hues or pretty pastel hues. For a more earthy appeal, use a grapevine wreath and adorn with your recipient’s favorite flowers. They make a lovely door and wall decoration.
Don’t throw your broken umbrella yet! You can fill it with your love’s favorite blooms, tie it with some pretty ribbons, and tada – you have a beautiful bouquet that looks quirky and out of the box! It’s multi-purpose too – you can use the handle for hanging the blooms and using it as a wall or door décor.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
Just because you’re not gifted with Hollywood-worthy facial features and strong and lean physique doesn’t mean you can’t be attractive.
In contrary to stereotypes, women are pretty much easy to please. There are certain masculine features that make us swoon, and chances are that most guys are unaware of them.
A woman’s level of attractiveness goes beyond mere stunning looks.
Just like all things in life, there’s a first for everything. Not everyone will get a divorce in their lifetime, but for those who do, the situation can be both stressful and confusing. However, clearing up some confusions regarding divorce proceedings can make the process that much easier.Continue reading
In the summer, when everyone is outside with far less on their plates than during the rest of the year, you don’t even need to find love online! Love is literally everywhere you look, and you can just let things take their course without worrying whether a hot summer romance is in the cards for you. Below are the top 5 reasons why romance feels so different in the summer, why the anticipation of the first kiss is so strong, and why it will happen to you!
Days are longer during the summer, and we’re all spending more time outside giving us more opportunity to meet new people. Also, sunshine generally puts people in a good and festive mood, and most of us get invited to parties, barbecues and the like during the summer much more frequently than in February, for instance. Sparks fly when you’re meeting new and intriguing people week after week, you start to feel more confident when you social calendar gets fuller, and you notice the confidence in others making them more attractive in your eyes, too.
When you’re in a better mood, and an overall sunny and positive person, you’re more attractive in the eyes of the people around you. Plus, sunshine puts everyone in a better mood than usual, meaning a new person that enters your life is more likely to catch your eye as well. Just 30 minutes spent outside in warm weather make people more open to new experiences, in this case new encounters than can lead to romance or sexual attraction.
We all remember how excited we were for every summer break while we were in school, and ever since then we’ve tried to make every summer feel more or less like a holiday. Nobody is swamped with work, chasing their end-of-the-year bonus and the workload is usually lighter when those high July and August temperatures hit. As a result we feel less under pressure to perform, impress our bosses or work our behinds off to meet goals. When the summer mindset sets in, most people feel much more laid back than during the other seasons, and spontaneity leads to more exciting decisions that can result in being hit by Cupid’s arrow straight through the heart.
Lighter clothes, warm nights, fewer commitments, and good sangrias make you feel sexier in your own skin. Also, most people ditch heavy meals drenched in fat and opt for salads, soups, and other dishes that will keep them hydrated when it’s really hot in the summer. These healthy foods coupled with being more physically active from all the time spent outside results in flatter bellies, slimmer figures and more flaunting of your skin.
Everyone feels far less pressure to commit and a stronger urge to find a passionate romance during the summer. No-one talks about the future, and very few people even have any plans past Labor Day. People live in the moment, which is why those hot summer relationships feel so much more exciting and erotically charged. They may not last a lifetime, but are certainly unforgettable.
Regardless of whether you’ve met a girl or a guy at a bar or you’re trying to find love online, there’s about 100% chance that you’ll have to go on that first date sooner or later. And seeing as most people dread that first date in terms of what to do and where to go, we’ve decided to look into it with detail.
Namely, we wanted to discuss first date ideas that are so cliché and so “already seen” that most of us can only bear seeing something like that in rom-com movies. In that name, here are the top 5 cliché first date ideas that are completely and absolutely overrated.
Remember those old films where the handsome guy would take his high school sweetheart on a picnic date and they would have such a wonderful time? Well, that kind of date probably isn’t something you want to find yourself on.
A picnic can easily go from lovely and romantic to uncomfortable and insect-infested. A lot of things ride on weather conditions and your surroundings, so try avoiding picnics as a first date idea.
First dates are supposed to be the perfect opportunity to learn something about one another, so why would you take your date to the cinema where you can’t even talk or communicate with each other in any way?
It just doesn’t make any sense. However, if you’re already dating this person for some time, the movies can be a good call if you just want to spend some quality time with each other and watch an entertaining flick together.
Even though taking a long, relaxing walk is a good way to allow yourself to talk and actually get to know the person you’re dating, it’s not exactly recommended as a first date idea since it becomes very boring very quickly.
Once again, you’re letting a lot of things rely on temperature and general weather conditions, which isn’t something you want happening on the first date when you’re trying to somehow impress the other person.
Seriously? Take him or her to dinner and have a glass of wine – sounds like the most boring date in the world, and here’s why.
First of all, you don’t know what the other person likes eating or what kind of restaurants are they into. Secondly, you’ll be forced to interact so much that you’ll be running the risk of running out of the things to talk about, since it is your first date with each other and neither of you want to share exactly everything about themselves.
Remember when we mentioned that you want to impress the other person on the first date? Well, if you opt out for a group activity date, you’ll have impress that same person with the addition of his or her friends.
Dating isn’t supposed to be a circus and you shouldn’t force yourself into situations that require you to have 100% concentration and that demand immense effort so that everyone included will like you.