The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!
When it comes to dating, you should focus only on what would turn the other person on. Rather, think about the things that would turn the person off.
Major let-downs for women can range from superficial, such as physical features and hygiene, to absolutely offensive, like beliefs and manners.
If you’re a guy and is new to dating, here are 13 of the biggest deal breakers women share.
If you’re dishonest on the very first date, then there’s no way you’ll be asked for a second date. We all deserve truth and authenticity. Any kind of dishonesty, whether it’s as trivial as your favorite hobby or as extreme as your marital status, is an immediate red flag.
Women and men alike won’t be interested in someone who feels the need to misrepresent their age, height, marital status, occupation, financial stability, possessions, and vices.
If you’re always running late or can’t totally show up from time to time (even when you’re sending fresh, beautiful flowers) , your date may imply that you’re not serious, or worse, you’re self-centered. Time is precious, so wasting your date’s time repetitively is a strong signal for her to look elsewhere.
Nothing turns off a woman faster than a man who doesn’t even make an effort to look and smell decent and presentable.
Combed hair, clean, newly-laundered clothes, fresh breath and regularly brushed teeth, tidy nails, clean ears, washed hands, and pleasant (not even scented with expensive perfume) smell all over – are these too much to ask?
It’s not just a matter of being unpleasant. When a guy doesn’t seem to be taking care of himself, that could be a sign that he’s looking for someone to take care of him – and no, that shouldn’t be the woman’s problem.
There’s a fine line between being “carefree” and “lacking the ambition.” You don’t have to have big goals for yourself and for your future partner. However, you must have some goals and work to get close to that pursuit.
Being unemployed is a top deal breaker for women, especially if you’re still living in your mother’s nest. Not that most women can’t provide for themselves – unemployment implies you’re not where you want to be, thus are not stable both financially and emotionally.
Depending and living with your parents while in your 20s or 30s may suggest co-dependence, fear of commitment, and the lack of motivation and emotional maturity.
Smoking has long been considered as a major turn off, especially for non-smokers. But for some, dating a smoker is okay as long as the person is responsible enough to smoke in designated areas, control the intake, and work to curb the unpleasant effects like bad breath and smelly clothes and house.
The real problem occurs when the person has been addicted to smoking to the point it’s unbearable. Same goes with alcoholism, gambling, and drug abuse. Addiction affects not only the heart, lungs, and gut – it damages the mind, which can be a major relationship issue in the long run.
There are three types of men with poor communication skill;
One, the guy who nods at everything his date talks about, and answers only when asked. Two, the guy who doesn’t appear to be listening and fails to give feedback on what has talked about. Three, the guy who wants to talk about no one but himself and his greatness, disabling the date to speak up.
Isn’t it a bummer when you have spent hours to be presentable and your date has a divided attention because his phone is glued to his hand?
Smartphones kill genuine conversations – and relationships. When you’re on a date, gentlemen, it’s a no-brainer to free yourself from all your distractions. Forget checking e-mails, sports scores, or game night invites by your bros.
Excuse me? We’re not in the 1950s. If you throw these questions on the first date, then there’s no point in continuing.
There’s a fine line between expressing attraction and being pushy about sex. It’s all about the intention. Women looking for a serious relationship immediately back off when a man can’t shut up about how much he wants to “bed” her on the first date and it’s getting uncomfortable.
No woman can trust a guy whose IG feed is loaded with pictures of scantily clad party girls, vain gym mirror selfies, and photos of women he has dated in the past (or is currently dating).
Several children, multiple women, and complicated relationship or unfinished business with an ex – these are some of the “excess baggage” a man may have. To make it worse, some men with an excess baggage even negatively talk about their ex or children on the first date. These are deal-breakers since no person wants to be dragged into the unnecessary mess and drama.
A guy who is genuinely kind-hearted respects, not only his date but everyone in the room – including the servers and sanitary personnel. Experts agree: you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those in the service jobs.
Listen up: If the man yells and badmouths the restaurant staff, and is basically rude to other people, then it’s a red flag, revealing a preview of how he might treat the lady as they go on. Other red flags include road rage, failure to compromise several times, failure to accept blame, and manipulating behavior.
The first impression lasts, they say. But chances are, if a guy shows up with one or a few of these major turnoffs, he may not score a second or third date to redeem himself and score a potential good relationship with a great woman.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
First date…there are probably no other two words in the entire English language that stir up as wide of a range of emotions as these two. For some people, the words get them excited and get butterflies flapping around their stomach as they imagine the possibilities of finding love. For others, they incite cringing and uneasy thoughts of having to meet someone new for the first time.
Regardless of where you fall on that spectrum, everyone has one thing in common. We all want our first dates to go better and be less, well, cringe-worthy. In this article, I’m going to cover some of the biggest mistakes people make on first dates. Ideally, if we can correct some of these big blunders, your first date experiences are going to be much more enjoyable.
Before I even get to talking about what to do on your first date, I need to cover something much more important. You need to make sure that you are not setting yourself up for failure by going on bad first dates. What is a bad first date? A bad first date is one where you know it’s a bad idea before you even take the first step out of the house. Now, I’m not referring to those of you that think every date is a bad idea and plan on being cat-ladies or cat-men for the rest of your life. I’m referring to those of you that know in the back of your mind that this particular date is a bad idea.
How do you make sure you aren’t going on bad first dates? Well, it all starts with meeting quality people. If you’re struggling to find quality people, I highly recommend this How to Meet Quality Singles guide which will walk you through the steps you need to stop dating the duds.
Secondly, you need to give each date an unbiased look before agreeing to go on it. You do not have to say yes to everyone you ask out. You also don’t have to ask out every single person you talk to. I repeat, you are under no obligation to go on any date ever no matter what anyone tries to tell you. Start looking for quality, and you’ll already be way ahead of the ball before you even step foot out the door on your first date.
First dates would be lightyears easier if we were forced to go on them immediately after they were scheduled. The problem with the time between scheduling and going is that our minds are able to run rampant. We start to imagine every bad scenario that could happen and convince ourselves that is what it is going to be like. We start analyzing every little thing about the date until we are blue in the face.
What am I going to wear? Where should we eat? Is that place too loud? Is my outfit too confident? Do these shoes work? What happens if they don’t like me? Should I talk about my work? I could really go on forever. While some of these questions are important (it’s hard to go on a date if you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re wearing), most of them are just going to send you down an overthinking spiral.
Focus on the things that are important and allow the rest to happen. You do not need to plan out every single detail. In fact, doing so is probably going to doom the date from the start.
You’re a more positive person? Don’t have a problem with overthinking all the negative things that could happen? You’re still on the hook here too. A lot of people spend that time before a first date imagining the person they are going out with as the perfect Romeo or Juliet. You find yourself asking and answering questions about the person in a way that fits your perfect narrative. Do they like the same music as me? Of course, they do. Are they extremely compassionate? They must be!
While we hope that everything is true, it paints an unrealistic picture of the person we are going to meet. It puts them at a severe disadvantage because they now have insane standards to try to live up to that they aren’t even aware of. I can assure you that Mr. or Ms. Right is going to be similar to what you imagine in your mind, but they are not going to be exactly what you think you want them to be.
Don’t let someone awesome slip through your fingers because you have unrealistic and unfair expectations.
When we get nervous most of us like to talk. The silence is awkward to us, and we figure if we keep talking we know what is going to be said and nothing can catch us off guard. Some of us also show up with pre-planned questions and things to talk about.
Here’s the problem. This is a lot of talking and not a lot of listening. You’re creating a one-sided conversation that will turn off your fellow dater, and it also inhibits you from getting to know them at all. How can you find out if you like someone if they never get the chance to get a word in? How can you see if there is any chemistry if you aren’t allowing them to interact with you?
The solution here is one word. Listen. You have to actually hear what the other person is saying and respond to that. Don’t respond to what you imagined them saying. Actually respond to what they are saying. You’ll be able to figure out quickly whether or not you mesh well together and if there is any sort of a future.
Remember, the purpose of a first date is not for it to go amazingly. The purpose of a first date is to see if you and the other person are compatible. It is completely okay to go out with someone and figure out that you are not right for each other. One less fish in the sea to consider!
Seriously, this is probably the most important tip on the entire sheet, and that’s the reason I chose to close with it. You have to remember that the entire point of dating is to find someone that you enjoy spending time with. Yes, it can be a little awkward at times, but that’s okay. You have to endure a little bit of awkwardness if you are going to find that special someone.
Embrace the awkward and have fun with it. You can go out with someone you are never going to go out with again and still have a good time. I have fun with complete strangers all the time just because I approach all of life with the right mindset.
I am challenging you to do the same. Regardless of how the date is going, have fun. Enjoy your time even if it is awkward and then worry about everything else later. Van Wilder said it best, “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.”
Relationship Advice Guru
Because Bouquets Are So Passé.
If you’re surprising your lover with flowers, chances are you’re going to grab a presentation-style bouquet, which is pre-selected in a flower shop or local supermarket. Presentation bouquets generally look like this: a bunch of flowers tied together and typically adorned with dry waxed paper or floral tissue, jutte fabrics, and mesh ribbons.
They are nice and convenient, but they can be, well, clichéd and predictable – especially if you’re giving it to a long-term spouse whom you’ve been giving bouquets for years.
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing sweeter than receiving a handheld bouquet filled with vibrant and freshly-picked flowers of your taste. But wouldn’t it be nicer to receive flowers that have a dash of creativity and personality into it?
If you’re sending flowers for your wife, girlfriend, or special someone but you want to elevate your usual handheld bouquet and give something unexpected, here are 10 wonderful ideas to keep in mind.
If your wife loves both tea and flowers, then an English country garden-inspired teapot full of blooms is the best way to go. A lovely arangement of roses, daisy, and poms in feminine pastel-hued pots would definitely brighten up their day.
For a rustic, “fresh from the garden” look, use rustic watering cans. The pale, timeworn look of watering cans add charm to the arrangement of vibrant blooms. You may also loop wire around the handle so it can be hung on the door for a beautiful display.
You may use the same approach for ceramic mugs, painted bottles, and vividly-colored jars.
Love metals and vintage prints? Your recipient would definitely love blooms in old, vintage canisters. They come in different designs, from old-fashioned floral patterns to 50s-inspired typography and poster signages. Even vintage soup and coffee tin canisters elevate your floral arrangement.
Forget conventional vases and put old lanterns to use. Antique lanterns make romantic flowers arrangements, like roses, baby breath, and foliage, even dreamier. They also make a nice centerpiece for one’s home.
If your recipient loves a wild arrangement of pretty pastel flowers, then wooden containers, like crates, would make perfect vessels. Aside from roses, flowers like hydrangeas, lisianthus, and snapdragons look stunning on crates.
Bouquets usually come with a box of chocolates and other confectioneries , but wouldn’t it be nice if you give something sweet but healthier? Pair your fresh blooms with sweet edibles, that are also freshly picked – fruits. Flowers and fruits go well with each other since they’re both vibrant plants. They also make great “get well soon” gifts for a lover or friend who needs healthy munchies to recover.
Who doesn’t love mini versions of anything? Be creative enough to turn smaller floral varieties into cute mini bouquets. You may scrimp on size but never on beauty, since they look lovely when attached to greeting cards and love letters for your special someone.
If you’re overly cheesy and romantic, you can never go wrong with the classic heart-shaped floral arrangement. A heart-shaped arrangement of roses, which may come in one solid color or multi-color, make a perfect gift for Valentine’s day, wedding anniversary, and your loved one’s birthday.
Giving a floral wreath is one splendid way to opt out of handheld bouquet without losing the sweet gesture of “giving flowers for your love.” Floral wreaths look amazing, whether they are in bold and vibrant hues or pretty pastel hues. For a more earthy appeal, use a grapevine wreath and adorn with your recipient’s favorite flowers. They make a lovely door and wall decoration.
Don’t throw your broken umbrella yet! You can fill it with your love’s favorite blooms, tie it with some pretty ribbons, and tada – you have a beautiful bouquet that looks quirky and out of the box! It’s multi-purpose too – you can use the handle for hanging the blooms and using it as a wall or door décor.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for The Relationship Room, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.
Just because you’re not gifted with Hollywood-worthy facial features and strong and lean physique doesn’t mean you can’t be attractive.
In contrary to stereotypes, women are pretty much easy to please. There are certain masculine features that make us swoon, and chances are that most guys are unaware of them.
A woman’s level of attractiveness goes beyond mere stunning looks.
Just like all things in life, there’s a first for everything. Not everyone will get a divorce in their lifetime, but for those who do, the situation can be both stressful and confusing. However, clearing up some confusions regarding divorce proceedings can make the process that much easier.Continue reading
In the summer, when everyone is outside with far less on their plates than during the rest of the year, you don’t even need to find love online! Love is literally everywhere you look, and you can just let things take their course without worrying whether a hot summer romance is in the cards for you. Below are the top 5 reasons why romance feels so different in the summer, why the anticipation of the first kiss is so strong, and why it will happen to you!
Days are longer during the summer, and we’re all spending more time outside giving us more opportunity to meet new people. Also, sunshine generally puts people in a good and festive mood, and most of us get invited to parties, barbecues and the like during the summer much more frequently than in February, for instance. Sparks fly when you’re meeting new and intriguing people week after week, you start to feel more confident when you social calendar gets fuller, and you notice the confidence in others making them more attractive in your eyes, too.
When you’re in a better mood, and an overall sunny and positive person, you’re more attractive in the eyes of the people around you. Plus, sunshine puts everyone in a better mood than usual, meaning a new person that enters your life is more likely to catch your eye as well. Just 30 minutes spent outside in warm weather make people more open to new experiences, in this case new encounters than can lead to romance or sexual attraction.
We all remember how excited we were for every summer break while we were in school, and ever since then we’ve tried to make every summer feel more or less like a holiday. Nobody is swamped with work, chasing their end-of-the-year bonus and the workload is usually lighter when those high July and August temperatures hit. As a result we feel less under pressure to perform, impress our bosses or work our behinds off to meet goals. When the summer mindset sets in, most people feel much more laid back than during the other seasons, and spontaneity leads to more exciting decisions that can result in being hit by Cupid’s arrow straight through the heart.
Lighter clothes, warm nights, fewer commitments, and good sangrias make you feel sexier in your own skin. Also, most people ditch heavy meals drenched in fat and opt for salads, soups, and other dishes that will keep them hydrated when it’s really hot in the summer. These healthy foods coupled with being more physically active from all the time spent outside results in flatter bellies, slimmer figures and more flaunting of your skin.
Everyone feels far less pressure to commit and a stronger urge to find a passionate romance during the summer. No-one talks about the future, and very few people even have any plans past Labor Day. People live in the moment, which is why those hot summer relationships feel so much more exciting and erotically charged. They may not last a lifetime, but are certainly unforgettable.
Regardless of whether you’ve met a girl or a guy at a bar or you’re trying to find love online, there’s about 100% chance that you’ll have to go on that first date sooner or later. And seeing as most people dread that first date in terms of what to do and where to go, we’ve decided to look into it with detail.
Namely, we wanted to discuss first date ideas that are so cliché and so “already seen” that most of us can only bear seeing something like that in rom-com movies. In that name, here are the top 5 cliché first date ideas that are completely and absolutely overrated.
Remember those old films where the handsome guy would take his high school sweetheart on a picnic date and they would have such a wonderful time? Well, that kind of date probably isn’t something you want to find yourself on.
A picnic can easily go from lovely and romantic to uncomfortable and insect-infested. A lot of things ride on weather conditions and your surroundings, so try avoiding picnics as a first date idea.
First dates are supposed to be the perfect opportunity to learn something about one another, so why would you take your date to the cinema where you can’t even talk or communicate with each other in any way?
It just doesn’t make any sense. However, if you’re already dating this person for some time, the movies can be a good call if you just want to spend some quality time with each other and watch an entertaining flick together.
Even though taking a long, relaxing walk is a good way to allow yourself to talk and actually get to know the person you’re dating, it’s not exactly recommended as a first date idea since it becomes very boring very quickly.
Once again, you’re letting a lot of things rely on temperature and general weather conditions, which isn’t something you want happening on the first date when you’re trying to somehow impress the other person.
Seriously? Take him or her to dinner and have a glass of wine – sounds like the most boring date in the world, and here’s why.
First of all, you don’t know what the other person likes eating or what kind of restaurants are they into. Secondly, you’ll be forced to interact so much that you’ll be running the risk of running out of the things to talk about, since it is your first date with each other and neither of you want to share exactly everything about themselves.
Remember when we mentioned that you want to impress the other person on the first date? Well, if you opt out for a group activity date, you’ll have impress that same person with the addition of his or her friends.
Dating isn’t supposed to be a circus and you shouldn’t force yourself into situations that require you to have 100% concentration and that demand immense effort so that everyone included will like you.
Having a fetish isn’t as bizarre as it may sound. Having a paraphilia – a physical object, role or thought that is the principal center of your sexual drive – can be somewhat invigorating and fun in the room. It doesn’t matter if you’re into straight, gay, bi, transgender dating or just want to meet online – fetishes can show up anywhere and under any conditions.
Some people develop fetishes at a very young age due to various causes, while others only figure out that they have a sexual paraphilia much later in life by accident. There are pretty simple and common ones, like fetishes that focus on body parts which already have established sexual attributes, and then there are rarer and more intriguing, such as fetishes that put odd things in a person’s sexual focus (feet, hair, nostrils, etc.).
Still, it’s by most considered as weird, freaky, even disgusting and sick for some unknown reason, even though it doesn’t have to be that way. For the most part, this is caused by prejudice and people’s fear of that which they do not understand or which they do not perceive as a part of everyday life – which fetishes totally are for some folk. In that name, here is our attempt at explaining the phenomenon that are fetishes by addressing the top 4 myths about fetishism.
Does having an interest make somebody debased? With respect to why that happens, hypotheses extend. One, clarified by therapist and sex scientist Justin Lehmiller, is established in traditional molding, whereby “to the extent that a specific object repeatedly appears just before we experience sexual arousal, we may eventually come to see that object as a cue for sexual arousal.” Another hypothesis is geographic, as the zone of our brains that control our sexual parts may cover or be firmly situated to another piece of the cerebrum — say, “the region that manages your feet.”
Once again, this myth can be attributed to the common misconception that just because something is “out of the box,” it automatically has to be freakish and bizarre. Surely, there are certain fetishes that can make others queasy, but that does not justify any prejudice which would mark fetishists as weirdos or perverts.
There is no such thing as a standard fetishist, as the obsession group is extraordinarily various — indeed, it’s not even a solitary group. “There are communities for foot fetishes, latex and rubber fetishists, chastity fetishists, lingerie fetishists, diaper fetishists, and myriad other specialized sexual interests,” sexologist Gloria Brame said.
Indeed, even inside individual interest groups, tastes can change, as a certain foot fetishist wrote in a 2014 Medium exposition: “It’s all a matter of taste, and like music, some fetishists have a narrow, refined taste while some guys don’t care if their girlfriend has hooves and sausage toes.”
Basically, this means that having a fetish isn’t a simple phenomenon in any way. As we’ve mentioned before, there are fetishes that focus on things that are already sexualized in general (and sometimes people don’t even know that they’re having a fetish), while on other occasions there are fetishes that are very specific and very out-of-the-ordinary. This all means that there’s no telling who can or cannot become a fetishist or who is or isn’t one already.
Yet another case misdefining something that has to be defined right in order to be understood.
As noted over, a fetish is frequently based on a physical object or particular activity. Kink, in the interim, is frequently used to depict any sexual practices that fall outside of the standard — however, there can be overlapping, making some perplexity even inside the group.
“I have always referred to my main kink, which is being spanked, and being submissive to my partner, as my fetishes,” Jessica Wakeman wrote for the Frisky in 2013. “Technically-speaking, however, my ‘spanking fetish’ and my ‘submission fetish’ are not fetishes.”
If we were to really get into the terminology here, we would have to separate spanking and submission from fetishism simply due to them belonging to two different groups. The first two are actually a part of a very complex sexual preference known widely as BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism), while for something to be described as a fetish, it needs to have a paraphilia, or in other words, an object or body part that would be in the center of a fetishist’s sexual focus.
Despite what might be expected, Internet people group propose that fetishists are all around, and they exist in huge numbers. Interpersonal organization FetLife alone has almost 4 million individuals.
“The Internet has been the single biggest boon to sexually unconventional hook-ups in human history,” Brame says “It has been demonstrated time and again that if you build a site for an interest you don’t think anyone in the world shares, within a few months you’ll have a bustling membership.”
If we’re being honest, weirder things than fetishists can be found on the web, and furthermore, it’s not really that hard finding them. Remember all those fetishes Gloria Brame mentioned earlier? Foot, latex and rubber, chastity, lingerie, diaper – all these fetishes and many more can be found all over the internet, from sites that deal with the social and sexual problems and dilemmas of fetishism to full-blown pornographic videos and live sex cams that revolve exclusively around fetishes.
When looking for the perfect ways to spice up a bland relationship, couples often turn to grand gestures. They go out and splurge on a fancy date at a steakhouse, travel out of town, and buy expensive things for their partner. We tend to forget that it is the smallest, simplest things that keep a relationship moving.
Oftentimes, you don’t have to go outside. Genuine and heartwarming gestures of love and affection are displayed at home
It doesn’t take that much amount of time, effort, and money to make your partner feel valued every day. To build a strong connection and bond that lasts, here are some expert tricks to fit into your routine.