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The possibilities of making the kinds of connections you want are very realistic, and many long lasting relationships and marriages have begun via online dating services, not to mention casual relationships as well if that is what you prefer. The possibilities are all right there and waiting for you, but there are a few key rules you need to know and follow in order to find your perfect date online. Download to learn The Golden Rules of Online Dating – 6 essential rules to finding the perfect online date!

All posts by Naveed Rouhani

My Best And Worst Date

I’m going to share my story of both my best and worst date which both took place in the last few years during my ongoing search for love…again. I’m still a single widow today but am convinced I will find another man to make me happy again, especially now that I’m back on the dating scene and have experienced all kinds of strange and wonderful moments in that time.

My Best Date

This time last year I had the most incredible date with a hugely interesting man who I met online. What made it so unique and memorable was that I had no idea what the plan was so the spontaneity of it was something I instantly loved. He picked me up from my house on a Friday evening after work (I trusted him enough to give him my home address through conversations online and the phone, he seemed very genuine). He knocked on my front door stood there with a bunch of flowers. What a start I thought, his romantic side evident from first sight.

Us women pick up on every detail when it comes to dating. From his well polished shoes to his nicely groomed facial hair I was definitely impressed within the first 5 seconds. And at the end of the drive way was a beautiful sparkling silver Porsche. Lovely!

As we sped off in his fancy car I had mixed emotions; nervous, excited and intrigued. As much as I asked throughout the journey, he gave me no insight in to where we were heading. I went along with it willingly as I trusted him. Strange for someone I had just met but he gave off that sort of vibe.

We arrived at a beautifully looking Indian restaurant which was next to the river and he actually reserved a table overlooking the tremendous views. It was a warm, wonderful evening too which made it even better. Looking back now it was quite a gamble for him to choose an Indian restaurant as it’s a cuisine which isn’t for everyone. Thankfully for him I wasn’t in that minority. The food was delicious and so too was the bottle of red wine that we shared.

The conversation flowed throughout the entire meal which isn’t always easy but we seemed to have so much in common from enjoying golf to having the same opinions on general affairs. It was all going so smoothly it felt so natural as if we had known each other for years. Perhaps this is to be expected from a true gentlemen but he also paid the entire bill which is a big tick in the dating department for me, not because I’m materialistic or expect a man to pay for everything, but because it’s just “the thing that’s done” by a man on a first date in my eyes.

If the date had ended there I would have been more than satisfied and content but to my surprise, again, we went to a bar just around the corner which played live music. My kind of scene! They played a mixture of songs, from cheesy classics to rock and roll greats. We continued to indulge in deep conversation and drinks which made the time pass by so quickly. Too quickly for my liking in truth. I wish the night hadn’t ended.

Sometimes less is more and as basic as this date may sound it had everything a first date needed; A gentlemen, surprises, food, drinks, music and even a first kiss. Little did I know that it would also be the last kiss with this particular person. To my devastation, he decided he didn’t want to meet up again. I guess it was too good to be true.

My Worst Date

I’ve had several bad dates in my time from back when I was a teenager all the way up to now. But there was one stand out winner of the worst date which was just a few months ago. Dating is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. It’s very much a case of trial and error unless you’re lucky enough to strike gold first time.

This particular date that I went on was a complete and utter shambles. This time we planned to meet for lunch on a Saturday afternoon in a country pub, midway between our two houses. We said we would meet at 1pm and being the punctual woman I stuck to my word. He, however, certainly did not. He kept me waiting there for about 45 minutes with no communication during that time. The only reason I was still there was because I thought I’d make the most of it and stick around for a drink on my own having made the effort to drive there Nevertheless, being the forgiving woman I am I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and move on with the date.

With his apology accepted we got talking briefly but he seemed more interested in the food menu since he had his head buried in it. Now I’m a huge fan of food but I’m also a fan of manners and completely ignoring someone while they’re speaking to you is as rude as it gets in my opinion. Even more so if it’s the first 5 minutes of a first date!

It turned out that he was just generally a rude person. He was rude to the waiter on several occasions, demanding cutlery and then moaning about the food which was completely out of the waiters hands. Complaining to the waiter that there was too much fat on his gammon seemed pointless and ridiculous to me.

When we finally got talking it was all about him. I hardly managed to get a word in. It got to the point where I genuinely had no interest in being there and all I could think about was how much I wanted to get up and leave. To this day all I think to myself is “does this man really think I’m enjoying this date?” No one wants to be talked at for a whole hour, especially not on a first date. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly wanted to find out about him but he didn’t do it in the right way.

The icing on the cake though was when the bill came. He had zero intention of paying anything more than what he ordered. To my disbelief, he actually studied the receipt to make sure he wasn’t paying for anything I had ordered. To say I’m glad to see the back of him is an understatement. That was the end of that!

 

 

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Maintaining A Healthy Heart And Mind

Healthy Diet

The most important part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle is unquestionably what you eat. You can’t out train a bad diet, or in other words, you can go for a run, swim or cycle for as long as you want but if you don’t eat the right foods it’ll all be a waste of time.

Eating well not only keeps you physically healthy in terms of your weight and vital organs functioning but it also keeps your mind healthy and clear.

So what sort of things should you eat and drink?

Firstly, drinking plenty of water is crucial and it has plenty of benefits such as; increasing energy and relieving fatigue, it promotes weight loss, flushes out toxins, boosts the immune system and more. Water is no doubt the best drink to stay healthy but other options are fresh juice, green tea or even milk. You want to avoid drinks which contain a lot of added sugar. Some may not realise but liquid sugar can be even more fattening that sugars in food.

Having a balanced food diet is very worthwhile too. Ensuring you eat a mixture of foods gives you all the different nutrients required to sustain good health. But of course you need to be eating the right sorts of food and not just any junk that may be cheap and easy to get your hands on.

Fruit and vegetables are key ingredients and a great starting point. If you aim to eat 5-6 pieces of different fruit and vegetables each day you’ll be boosting your immune system significantly and in turn reducing the chance of disease and illness.

Eat wholegrain instead of refined grains. For example, look out for wholegrain barley, rice, bread, etc. They contain lots of fiber, help digestion, lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure as well as many other health benefits. Refined grains are modified from their natural composition, taking away the components bran and germ which are better for us. So try and limit those refined grains as well as anything containing added sugar. Most foods contain sugar in their natural ingredients, so added sugar is simply unnecessary.

Avoiding bad fats is something that you should try and cement in to your lifestyle because these are the fats that can damage your heart. But what are bad fats and is there such things as good fats? The simple answer to that is yes. Oily fish, nuts, avocados, vegetable oils are all examples of unsaturated good fats and are great but these should be eaten in place of other high calorie foods. But of course there are bad fats too. These are foods like red meat such as beef and lamb. Dairy products such as whole milk, cheese, butter, sour cream and others. Additionally, cutting out or at least reducing the intake of snack foods such as crisps, chocolate, cake, etc. will go a long way to help weight loss.

It’s important to remember that everything in moderation is okay. You still need to enjoy the food you eat.

Exercise

Exercise also goes a long way to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Age shouldn’t be an excuse to give up on exercise and any sort of active lifestyle no matter how strenuous or not is better than nothing.

Endurance/Aerobic – These types of exercises are designed to increase your heart rate and breathing. These activities will help keep you healthy, improve your fitness, and help you carry out your everyday tasks. Endurance training will improve the health of your heart, lungs, and circulatory system. Jogging, Cycling, Swimming or even dancing are all good examples of endurance exercises which will raise your heart rate. Don’t forget to warm up first though to prevent any injury!

 

Strength – Strength exercises make your muscles stronger. Even small increases in strength can make a big difference in your ability to stay independent and carry out everyday activities, such as climbing stairs and carrying groceries. These exercises also are called “strength training” or “resistance training.” Lifting weights, own body weight exercises and resistance band training are all ways of improving general strength.

Balance – Having good balance is key, especially for older adults as it helps prevent falls and accidents. It will also help with other general exercises such as lifting weights, running on a treadmill and even stretching. Increasing the amount of lower body strength exercises you do will also improve your balance.

Flexibility – Stretching is incredibly important to reduce the risk of injury. Being flexible gives you more freedom of movement for other exercises as well as for your everyday activities. It’s well worth fitting in stretching in to your workout routine for at least 15 minutes. Yoga is a good activity which helps flexibility and balance for that matter.

Summary

Both healthy eating/drinking and exercise significantly improve our physical and mental well-being. You will notice a huge change in the way you feel by eating better and exercising at least a few times a week. But the key is consistency. If you can constantly eat well and exercise for the majority of the week, every week, you’re guaranteed to feel sharper, happier, stronger and just generally better all round.

 

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Dating Is A Patience Game

Have a little patience

Finding “the one” is rarely easy and to be honest it shouldn’t be either. What’s the point in settling for a mediocre partner in terms of your similarities and compatibility when there are thousands of single people out there. There’s no doubt in my mind that there is a person suited for everyone in this world but it’s just taking the time to find them. Dating is a game of patience.

Understandably, we become desperate sometimes to find a partner we can share our laughs, tears and experiences with but it’s important that we share those moments with the right person. After all, if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this person then you can forever have these moments to reminisce on.

Never too old

There seems to be a misinterpretation that once you hit a certain age that it is then too late to start dating or find the perfect match. Well that isn’t true at all. There are millions of people around the world that are single aged 40 and above who are still being hit by Cupid’s arrow and finding their true love. The majority of the time it’s over online dating websites because that’s the easiest way for them and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There are hundreds of senior dating websites online that you can use to slowly search for your ideal partner with patience. There’s no rush when you’re sitting behind a computer.

Taking your time to find the right person might seem like a chore but in the long term it will be much more worth it. The question you have to ask is would you rather settle for an average person that you find “OK” or take your time, have a bit of patience and find that partner that you love sharing your life with where your heart skips a beat every time you hear from them.

Is Your Relationship Healthy?

Balance

Image result for balance

It’s incredibly important to have the right balance in your relationship. By this I mean balancing the time you spend with your partner, your family and other friends. Spending all your time with your partner can be unhealthy. You’ll become in danger of potentially getting bored of them and you might start noticing the little things that bother you.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to spend time with the person you love but you’ll learn to appreciate them even more when you’re away from them from time to time.

Arguments

Some people think that if you have an argument with your partner then it isn’t a healthy and solid relationship. Let’s be realistic though, it’s probably the opposite. Unless you happen to

be very fortunate and never have misunderstandings or falling outs then it’s only natural to have arguments now and then. It’s certainly a better idea than bottling up all of your thoughts and not sharing your concerns with your partner.

Speaking from personal experience it’s far more beneficial to be honest with your partner, even if it’s over the smallest things. You’ll then learn for future situations what buttons are the wrong ones to press!

Love

This might sound daft but it’s an incredibly common occurrence in this day and age. The question is are you still in love with your partner? A lot of relationships are built on a solid foundation over time. However, some couples think they have to remain together purely on the basis that they have shared a lot of time together. But if the spark has gone, no one is benefiting from staying with each other for the sake of it. I’m certainly not insinuating you should get up and go when times get hard but it’s something worth contemplating if you’re not happy the majority of the time you spend together.

Online Dating Changed My Life

Around this time last year I decided to finally give online dating a chance after days, months and even years of deliberation. At the tender age of 43 I thought I was destined to be single forever, with a barely existent social life as well. I’m now over the moon that I stumbled across the world of online dating and specifically a mature dating website for singles which was perfect for my situation.

Early Life

From a young age I had always been driven by money and focused purely on my job week after week until before I knew it half my life seemed to pass by in a flash. Suddenly I took a step back for a minute to evaluate what I was doing with my life and what sort of future I would have if I carried on down this same path. I certainly wouldn’t say I had a midlife crisis but I quickly realised that there were other priorities ahead of work and money that life has to offer which I still hadn’t witnessed yet.

I began to panic thinking that it was too late but I had plenty of reassurance from my family, work colleagues and seeing it for myself on TV that age is just a number. There’s nothing stopping a 43 year old man like me doing the same as a 25 year old man (to a degree at least).

Change

In the blink of an eye I began to change my ways, starting with a healthier lifestyle by eating cleaner and joining a gym.  I have quite an obsessive personality so once I have my mind set on something I pretty much go all out with it. So thankfully, the gym and eating well soon became a routine which wasn’t too hard to maintain. But I also needed to start meeting and socialising with people too. I was so caught up and involved with my job that I missed out on making friends outside of work. The only people I spoke to looking back now were colleagues where almost all the conversation was work related.

I still struggled to find the time to meet new people even with my change in lifestyle. Even though I now set aside time for the gym I still didn’t really communicate with many people there. Most people in the gym have headphones in and are there purely for the health benefits, which to be fair is the main reason for their existence. It was difficult even finding a place where I would have a chance of finding a friend or partner, never mind then talking to them and getting to know them. I don’t really have any hobbies other than football but again that isn’t the ideal hobby to find a girlfriend in most cases.

Online Dating

At my age it isn’t easy to just go out and meet a woman in a bar or club. In all honestly, I feel like I would have been judged by younger people if I was out in the same places as them. That’s why I eventually gave in and tried the online dating scene. For some reason I had always been against online dating but I didn’t really have a valid reason as to why. I think it was a pride thing. I thought I was above it. Let me tell you now that online dating is not something to be ashamed about at all now that I have witnessed the immense benefits it brings. I wish I had done it earlier!

One night after yet another routine day at work, I decided to log back on to my laptop and started searching for dating websites. For the older generation more specifically since I didn’t want to attract people much younger than me and looking for much different things. I was looking to settle down, perhaps start a family, although the thought of actually admitting that was a little scary for me to comprehend. But that’s when I came across a website called YourMatureDating.com.

I decided to sign up that night since I thought there was nothing to lose and it was free to sign up. I browsed some of the profiles on the site and I have to be honest that I did see some very nice women that caught my eye immediately. But at this point I was still a bit skeptical about what I was doing. I logged off soon after that but I had got the ball rolling at least and had the right intentions to find a partner.

A few nights later I went back on and this time I messaged one of the women that I liked the look and sound of by her profile. She had amazing eyes that caught my attention because of the slight sparkle they had. Her interests too excited me. She pretty much seemed to have the exact same past I had, in that her work dictated her life.

Today

Two years on from that initial message and I am now engaged to her. I decided to propose recently and thankfully for me she said yes! Never in a million years did I expect to fall in love so quickly and find someone so amazing and so similar to me. I wanted to share my story so others in my position weren’t afraid to do the same as me. I am so thankful for online dating and I truly believe there are thousands of other stories just like mine out there too.

Today I am ecstatic with the way my life has panned out. From experiencing the ways of business and working hard for money to now looking to start a family I feel like I have been incredibly fortunate.