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Mending Your Marriage after Brain Injury

Marriage is a union that takes a lot of work even years after the couple said: “I Do.” Partners go through many trials over the course of their relationship. Some of those are easily overcome, but others can be challenging and especially hard.

One of the biggest trials for marriage is a sickness of the partner. This is a hard period for both spouses that completely changes the dynamics of marriage. While some couples accept this new instance and try to overpass it, there are those that crumble and break down.

One of these trying moments is when a partner suffers from an illness that is difficult and life-changing, like brain injury. It will put the marriage on a trial and insert numerous emotional obstacles into persons’ lives. Mending a marriage after brain injury is a process that will require investing a lot of emotions, patience and above else time into getting the bearings again.

Brain injury can change your partner to the lengths that you would have to get to know them all over again. The recovery time alone may take a long time and put quite a strain on your relationship. However, it is not impossible to find your bearings again and with some dedication and patience, you will get there.

  1. Have daily alone time

If you are surrounded by people the whole day, you two will hardly have enough time to find out new mechanics of your relationship. And that includes the kids as well. So, make room every day to spend time with your partner alone so you can get to know each other all over again.

This doesn’t have to be anything special, but rather normal and casual like playing games or walking. Find an activity that will make you both happy and use it to learn more about each other. After all, your partner’s brain injury may have changed them, but you can discover them anew.

  1. Don’t reminiscence of how it used to be

We all like to remember how things were before the certain change in our lives. And if your partner suffered a brain injury that changed them in some way, you may do it more than usual. Often, it’s about who they used to be and are now, but that is a futile and damaging course.

Accept your partner as they are now and focus on what you can do to help them and your marriage survive through this change. This is not only an emotionally healthy approach but will also allow you to use your time more productively. Accepting, after all, is a way to resolve the issues you face in any aspect of your life, and thus in this.

  1. Work out the little things

Every day small gestures can do a lot in a thriving relationship, but also it’s the little things that can damage your marriage. Find what bothers you and your partner and work on changing. At the same time, don’t forget to show your love to one another with some small acts of affection like a kiss or giving them a smile.

  1. Don’t compare with others

Others might have experienced the same problems you have, and their advice and stories can be useful but avoid comparing yourself to them. In this case, you need to find your own bearing and strategy to overcome emotional troubles. Everyone’s situation is different and unique, and so you won’t find a marriage that is just like yours.

People let you see what they want and although you may see that someone is successfully handling one aspect of their marriage, it may not be that simple. So, don’t compare to others and strain your relationship even more with that sort of pressure. But rather get to know your partner and your marriage in order to find the right solution for your problems.

  1. Go to marriage counseling

When things become too tough to handle, it’s wise to seek a professional help to show you the way. Marriage counseling is intended to do just that for couples in troubled relationships and help them overcome their problems. Sometimes, couples would have to go through individual sessions as well, so the counselor could more easily understand what they’re going through.

The most important thing to remember is that you need to be honest with yourself and your partner during these appointments. They will be emotionally demanding, but this is nothing to fear or run from. After all, facing off emotional troubles and doubts will only help you be closer as a couple and get you on the right path.

  1. Seek legal help

Legal help is useful in many ways after your partner suffered a brain injury. First of all, hire personal injury lawyers to advise you and represent as you seek financial compensation for the injury. This so-called loss of consortium claim will help you cover medical expenses and other costs which incurred after the accident.

Additionally, another reason to seek legal help is to transfer property in your name and become representative for your partner, if need be. It will help you run your home, organize finances and make decisions for your partner if they’re not capable of doing so themselves.

  1. Use a kitchen timer

Kitchen timer technique is pretty useful in times when you are arguing to stop the conversation from becoming more heated. Use a simple kitchen timer that you start every time you cook and set it for 30 minutes if the discussion is starting to get out of hand. Then both of you make some space between you two by going to different rooms and cool off.

This technique will save you the arguing and give you an opportunity to have a constructive discussion. Not to mention that it will eliminate stress from your conversations and help you come to understanding more easily.

As a conclusion

Managing your marriage after brain injury will be a demanding process that will take a lot from you and your partner. But it will also be a rewarding one since it will help them recover and you to accept the changes after the accident. After all, when there is will, there aren’t many things that people can’t do or achieve in their lives.

5 Challenges of Intercultural Marriage

Even though we live in a world which sends robots to Mars, sometimes technological advancement is all there is from humankind. While we aim for the stars to give us a better future, we forget that there are still certain issues that should be addressed here on Earth. Intercultural marriage is one of the numerous things we should discuss and resolve, as a testament to positive human evolution for our posterity.

Marriage is a challenge. It requires work and compromise between partners, no matter how much they love each other. However, marriage also requires strength to overcome the stressors surrounding the relationship. And that is what challenges of intercultural marriage mean for the partners – endurance of bigotry, racism, class differences and all the things that come out of petty minds.

In a way, these couples have to work on their marriage at the same time they’re working on showing the world that love is the most valuable feeling in the world. Unfortunately, sometimes that is simply not enough and these couples face a lifelong battle with issues that don’t belong in the civilized, modern society that wants to spread across the universe.

  1. Interracial marriages

Racism is, sadly, still a serious issue that exists in even the most modern countries in the world like the USA. Judging people by their skin color shouldn’t be discussed any more at all since it shouldn’t exist in the first place. But we all know that the world is more complicated and challenging than that.

But people are not judged for their interracial marriages only by strangers. The worst impact on their relationship is made by their peers, family, and friends. This is something that has been present in society for centuries, and will undoubtedly be here in the future.

Thus, the pressure on the interracial marriage is like carrying a heavy load which just got heavier because someone set on it instead of helping you carry it. Racism won’t go away if we turn our heads the other way, but only if we join the ranks of brave men and women who fight it all their lives. This is a complex problem that needs to be addressed from all the social, political and cultural points in order to eradicate it.

  1. Class differences and challenges

You’ve probably read Jane Austen or at least seen some of the movie adaptations to know how class difference works. Even The Great Gatsby deals with this issue from a different, but equally important point of view. Marriage between rich and poor has so much scrutiny surrounding it that Pandora had a pretty big box where all those evils came from.

Sometimes, the couple or one of the partners, usually the less economically situated one, are forced to sign a prenuptial agreement. This can be the initiator of marital problems and even cause the cancelation of marriage altogether. Here lie many challenges and prejudice that a couple must face in order to have a healthy marriage and keep the family safe.

Popular culture often depicts these relationships either as cautionary tales or true love stories. In reality, the matter is not so easy to fight off and the reputation follows some couples throughout their marriage. This issue is, thus, resolved, with firm attitude rather than constant justifying oneself to everyone, and as an underlying stressor, it’s an ever-present challenge for the couple.

  1. Educational backgrounds and careers

Love is blind, they say, but for how long? This is a fitting question that perfectly fits the challenges of a marriage between two people with different educational backgrounds. Some even didn’t see this as a challenge until women were given the same opportunity at education as men.

Just remember Mad Men TV show for the easiest reference and women there being perfect housewives, while men did all the important work. Nowadays, the society may have allowed women to have the education they rightfully deserve, but not that Mad Men ideal of perfect marriage is hard to destroy. But the things swing the other way as well, so this educational gap is not only the gender issue anymore.

The lack of communication in marriage and understanding from a partner are often the causes of discord. While some tend to put in the effort to understand each other completely, others forget about it and it turns into an issue fast. However, the true way of dealing with this is for partners to include one another in each other’s lives, and not feed the monster.

  1. Overcoming legal issues

The main legal issue when it comes to intercultural marriage is visa and citizenship for one of the partners. Every country has its own set of laws and regulations governing this field and some are really complex to handle by yourself, like the UK’s or Australia’s. Therefore, hiring immigration solicitors is necessary to complete the paperwork and avoid serious repercussions such as deportation.

Of course, every couple entering into an intercultural marriage is aware of this issue when one is not the citizen of the other’s country. If prepared for this bureaucratic entanglement in time, couples won’t even feel this period in their lives. Otherwise, the problems arising from untimely tackling of this issue can lead to serious legal consequences and divorce.

  1. Statistics show a high divorce rate

Couples today face the fact that the divorce rate is high. In a way, if a marriage doesn’t work than it’s right to get the divorce. However, doing your best to overcome the problems should be the first course of action and not calling it quits. Intercultural marriages have a high divorce rate and that is why they need more work and attention.

Different religious backgrounds can be overcome with one partner accepting the religion of the other. Certain customs can undergo small changes to fit both partners, while different cultural backgrounds carry diverse behaviors and perspectives. So, while high divorce rate of these marriages may speak against them, couples shouldn’t focus on that but on methods to overcome these problems and love each other.

In the end

Every relationship is a challenge and needs work to succeed. Intercultural marriage is a perfect example of what a relationship between two people needs to endure and how much we have to further evolve to be worthy of the stars.